who you are in the dark
by DiscordianSamba
Summary: AU. Captured by the Galra, Keith is given two choices- either lose himself to Haggar's experimentation, or take what might be his only chance at freedom- joining the halfbreed prince, Lotor. While he might not trust the prince, he'd rather take his chances with him than the witch- even if that means publicly betraying Voltron. But like he is now, it's not like can go back anyways.
1. halfbreed

Hey there, it's me again! I've mentioned this story a few times in passing, but here I am, finally getting around to writing it. I wanted to wait until season six came out so I could better determine Lotor's motivations which yeah- really good idea on my part. Anyways, this is actually an idea that I've been toying with ever since _abyss of memory_ \- this is actually the idea that I mentioned in the author's note of the very first installation of that, that split off from it. So it's been in the works for awhile!

I'm pretty eager to write this one, got some fun stuff planned. Fun for me, I mean, not necessarily fun for Keith.

Anyways, please enjoy!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter one**

 **halfbreed**

* * *

Groaning, Keith forced himself awake.

There was nothing he would like to do more than sleep longer, but he couldn't afford to be caught sleeping when the patrols came by. The last time he had given into the temptation, he'd woken up not in his cell, but strapped to a table, a druid looming over him.

Not an experience he was eager to repeat.

Pushing himself up, he pressed his back against the wall. He caught faint whispers in a language that he was only just barely coming to understand, but he forced himself not to pay attention to them. He wasn't alone in the cell- though those in here with him seemed to rotate, some disappearing and never coming back.

He suspected it was because they were dead.

At first, they had spoke to him in Common, of which he had a faint understanding of, thanks to the translator microbes that Allura had given them all. They had started failing after his first week here, but he had always paid attention, able to pick out enough of it to carry on a conversation.

Now they didn't speak to him at all, or even dare approach him. They just hovered in their corner, as far away from him as they could possibly get. It felt as if he was being treated like some kind of dangerous beast, and to be honest, he was sick of it.

Getting captured was stupid. He still didn't remember how he had fucked up the mission so bad- the last thing he remembered was following that scary dude- called a _druid_ , he'd since learned- into some strange chamber, and then after that, nothing.

Probably because he'd hit his head, but still.

Pulling his knees up close to him, he rested his arms on them. His paladin armor was long gone- he'd been stripped of it shortly after he'd woke. The threadbare outfits that the Galra provided their prisoners didn't provide much protection from the elements, and he often found himself shivering in the thin material, having to pull into himself to keep himself warm.

It had been... fuck, he didn't know. He'd lost track of time after the first week. It was always dark here, and though his eyes had finally adjusted to it, it made telling time impossible. Even back on the castle-ship, Coran had made a conscious effort to keep them on some kind of day and night schedule, dimming the lights as needed.

It could have been _months_ , for all he knew. Everything blurred together here, with only a few events of note standing out.

Like that damn witch pulling out all of his teeth. That he remembered.

His jaw had throbbed for days afterwards, and he was just grateful for whatever freak mutation he had that allowed them to grow back. It was something he had realized back on Earth, which left like a lifetime ago now- that his teeth didn't play by the same rules as everyone else. If he lost one, he'd always grow it back, and over time, he learned to keep it to himself.

He just wished they'd come back in _normal_ this time.

He only knew they were sharp because he could feel them, scratching his tongue when he spoke- which wasn't often, these days. He'd cut his finger examining them, and had cut it again trying to suck at the wound. He hadn't seen hide nor hair of a reflective surface since he had been brought here- even the metal of the sentries was kept dull.

At least he had something to defend himself with. The first thing he'd done when they'd stopped hurting was to sink them into the arm of the first flesh and blood Galra that had come to collect him, dragging him off to who knows what.

In hindsight, maybe that was the reason why his cell mates were treating him like he was some kind of dangerous beast. They had been excited at first, hearing whispers that he was the red paladin of Voltron, feeling that surely if he were here, then this must be part of some kind of plan.

Nope. He'd just fucked up, that's all.

It didn't even bother him that the other paladins hadn't come for him. Good. Better they find a new pilot for the red lion, than risk everything to free him.

Near as he could tell, he had been transported to Central Command- because of course he fucking had. He'd even met the big man himself, just once- apparently before him, the red lion had been piloted by Allura's father, which gave Zarkon just enough of a passing interest in the current red paladin to have him brought (dragged) before him.

He'd been restrained like the thrashing beast he was pretty sure he was gaining a reputation of being, but that didn't stop him from spitting in his face.

Would have been so much more satisfying if Zarkon had so much as flinched. Not a guy you wanted to play poker with, some part of him had dimly noted, even as his head was smashed into the floor.

At first, they had pressed him with questions- about Voltron, about Allura, about the Castle of Lions. He adamantly refused to answer any of them, even when they got sick of asking and started _demanding_. He'd rather bite off his tongue than tell them a single thing, which, given his impressive new set of teeth, was probably a literal thing he could do.

Scratching the back of his neck, Keith winced, sucking in his breath. Right, his teeth weren't the only things that had gotten sharp- he kept forgetting that.

Drawing his hand away, he glanced down at it, studying his nails. He wasn't sure when it had happened, just that it had been after the teeth, but they had taken a turn for the sharp. He had tried to trim them with his teeth, but that had just resulted in a lot of blood, and suffice to say, he wasn't that interested in bleeding to death in a Galra prison, so he nixed that idea.

They didn't ask him questions anymore.

At first he thought it was because they knew he wouldn't talk- but now he wasn't so sure.

Gaze flickering in the direction of his cellmates, he could almost feel them tensing up underneath it. There had been the faint brewing of a conversation- one not about him, but that had stopped the moment they had noticed he was looking at them.

What the hell did they even see in him that had them so spooked? He was a _prisoner_ , for crying out loud, no better off than the rest of them.

Heaving a sigh, Keith dragged his gaze away, fixing it back on the door. Just as he could feel them tense, he could feel them visibly relax when it left them, the faint undercurrent of chatter that he could pick up probably having more to do with him than it had before.

It left him with nothing to do until either someone came to get him, or it was meal time. Every time he so much as stood up, the air in the room grew tense, so even basic exercises were out of the question. Nothing to do but sit and stare off into space, and think.

Mostly he just thought about Earth.

He'd never been homesick for it, in the same way the other paladins were. The only person of value to him on Earth was Shiro, and he was up here with him. Sure, he guessed he kind of missed the food, and there was nothing quite like a desert sunset from the roof of his shack, but other than that?

Guess there was his dad's grave, maybe. But at the end of the day, that was just a rock stuck in the ground, hardly anything to cling to.

He'd probably rot away in this cell. There must have been a way to escape- Shiro had done it- but if there was, he hadn't found it yet.

Not that he knew where he'd even go if he escaped. Back to Earth? Nothing for him there. To Voltron? By now, they'd probably found a new red paladin to replace him, so it was better not to even bother. He'd just be dead weight, and he'd never really been a part of the group to begin with. Maybe he could find a remote planet or something, where he could eke out the rest of his life alone.

Didn't sound too bad.

Footsteps broke him out of his thoughts- metal striking metal. Sentries.

They stopped in front of his cell. He could hear his cellmates hold their collected breaths, doubtlessly hoping that they were here to take him, as opposed to any of them.

The door to the cell unlocked, the sentries seeming to loom over him. He didn't put up a fight as they reached for him. It was better to conserve his energy for when he actually needed it.

Today he sensed there was something different.

"You are being relocated."

That was all the sentry told him, before jerking him to his feet. He stumbled for half a second, before he found his footing. He'd rather avoid being dragged.

Relocated. Maybe to the arenas, he thought. If they couldn't get answers out of him, why not make a spectacle out of him?

Whatever. He didn't care.

Just another phase of his life- ever since his father died, nothing had ever been the same. Things had started to look up when Shiro had come into the picture, but then he'd left, and things went back down again. When he came back, things began to look up again, but he knew better- he'd been bracing himself for the crash the entire time.

And what a crash it was.

At least it was him now, and not Shiro. Better it be him.

Just on the edge of his hearing, as he was being carted away, he thought he could make out some words he could actually understand this time.

"The _halfbreed_ is leaving," one of his (former) cellmates whispered, their voice not nearly so hushed as they thought it was.

He tried not to spend too much time thinking about what that meant.

* * *

They didn't take him to the arena.

They had dragged him off to a smaller cell block, isolated away from the main cell block. Here, those who had caught the interest of Zarkon's witch resided, he would later come to learn.

He had his own cell now, smaller than the one he had been in before. At least he could get up, stretch his legs, move his body, with no one watching. His muscles had grown slack in the time he hadn't been using them, and even if there wasn't a whole lot of space here, it was at least enough to offset that.

Above all else, he didn't have to deal with the hushed whispers. At least, not until he left his cell.

He wasn't the only one in this cell block- and he sensed that any fresh blood inevitably would attract the attention of the rest. Whenever he was removed from his cell, he could hear them- louder, and easier to understand, the voices of prisoners who had been alone for so long they had forgotten what it was like to control their volume.

(Solitude wasn't a problem for him. He'd been more isolated than this out in the desert.)

He heard the word _halfbreed_ a lot, and each time, he forced himself to ignore it. He didn't want to find out what they meant by it.

He got the feeling he'd learn eventually.

The witch- _Haggar_ , he learned her name was- had taken a keen interest in him. He didn't understand why, but he could sense that it was nothing good.

Whatever she wanted, she didn't tell him anything. She didn't say a word to him the entire time, except to give him the periodic instruction, which he ignored. It didn't matter- even if he didn't obey her, he was forced to. Sure, it would be easier to just go along with it, but spite had kept him sane this long, he wasn't about to surrender it so easily.

Sometimes she would leave him alone for days, no one coming to his cell except to give him his daily meal. The taste of it had changed, something which he immediately grew suspicious of, and tried to eat as little of it as possible.

She found out quickly.

He half expected her to try force feeding him after that, but the taste of the food instead went back to normal. Either she had gotten more clever, or she had changed tactics.

When the injections began, he knew it was the latter.

His entire body ached for hours afterwards. He didn't know what was in the injection he was given, but the moment it entered his veins, it burned like fire. He screamed until his throat was raw, after which, he was pretty sure he'd passed out.

He learned to tell time again by them.

Once a week, like clockwork. The second one was as bad as the first, as were the third and fourth. By the fifth time, he'd either grown numb, or his body was adapting to it, either way, it didn't hurt half as bad.

After the fifth injection, he was brought to the arena for the first time.

After living in near darkness for so long, the bright lights of the arena were almost blinding. It took his eyes a few moments to adjust, giving him a powerful headache until his vision settled.

If he thought he felt like a caged animal in his old cell, closely watched by his cellmates, that was nothing compared to this. Looking up towards the stands, the jeers and taunts of the watching Galra all blurred together, creating a cacophony that had him fighting the urge to plug his ears.

Is that what Shiro had been put through?

No, Shiro had said... he'd told him he'd had a sword. He hadn't been given anything.

The sound of gears grinding caught his ears, and he turned to face it. He couldn't place what manner of creature he was facing, just that it was bigger than him, covered in fur. It _stunk_ too, probably having gone unwashed for longer than he had.

(God, what he would give for a fucking shower.)

They wanted him to fight this thing with his bare hands.

He remembered laughing at the thought, bitter, and without the least bit of humor, and not much else. It wasn't as if he had blacked out- he remembered fighting, but all the details blurred together, instincts taking over. Getting hurt, getting thrown around- there would be scars later, testaments to it.

Clarity only came to him after he won.

Breathing hard, he felt his whole body seem to convulse. Maybe it was just the ringing in his ears, but the jeers started to sound a lot like _cheers_. Forcing himself to take slow, steady breaths, he turned on his heel to face the creature.

It wasn't moving anymore.

Either he'd knocked it out cold, or he'd...

The sensation of something warm and sticky on his hands drew his attention down to them. His hands were covered in some kind of bright pink substance, spattered all over the front of his torso.

Blood.

So it was dead, then.

Somehow, the thought seemed foreign, distant to him. He was too focused on his nails, watching them glint, dangerous and deadly, under the bright lights of the arena.

No, they weren't nails, not anymore. Before, they had been sharp, sure- but they had still been _nails_. But these...?

These were _claws_.

* * *

 _Halfbreed_.

Half of _what_ , exactly?

* * *

He became desperate after that. _Frantic_ , even.

A reflective surface- anything would do. How long had it been since he'd seen his face in a mirror? Not since before he had been captured, and that felt like a long, long time ago. He caught himself searching, looking for any bright glint of metal with which he might use to see his face, anything.

He found nothing.

Touching his face with his hands, he felt his claws press into his skin. In the aftermath of the arena, he had forgotten the lesson he'd learned back when his nails had first sharpened, trying to chew them off. He didn't bleed as quick, but he did bleed in the end, and it was with a shudder that he realized these things were very much part of him now.

He had spent what must have been hours studying them, trying to figure out how they worked, if he could get them to go away. Sometimes, in the right light, they took on a purple tint, but he dismissed that as his imagination.

In the dark of his cell, shuddering against the cold, he stripped down, ridding himself of the ratty, blood stained prison uniform, until every last piece of it was gone. Searching for deformities, he found no obvious signs of anything, tugging his clothes back on.

He couldn't relax yet, though. He hadn't checked everything. Taking off his shoes with a grunt, the insides slick with sweat from having worn them for so long, he bit back the urge to vomit.

What the fuck was wrong with his _toes_?

They were... on both feet, were they _fusing_?

It was with a sick feeling in his gut that he realized that they were. All but his middle toes were fusing together, two into two, as if they were trying to reform into one toe. It was as if he only had three on each foot now, and likely would, should the process complete itself.

 _Stop it!_ , some part of him screamed, but even if it did, he didn't know _how_. Split them apart? He hadn't even noticed they were _fusing_ , if he did something like that now, he'd probably just end up crippled for life.

Swallowing, he reached down a shaking hand, lightly touching what used to be two toes. They flinched under his touch, and now he did taste a bit of vomit, watching as two moved as one, reminding him of a sick, miniature parody of Voltron.

 _Voltron_.

He could never go back, could he? Not like this.

Whatever... whatever _this_ was.

* * *

There was no one in the cell block to call him _halfbreed_ now.

He was the only one left.

* * *

At the first patch of purple, he knew.

It started with his toes- the tips of them turning purple. There were six now, clawed like his hands were. For human feet, they were now grossly malformed, but he was starting to suspect that maybe he wasn't as human as he'd thought he was. The shoes that he had been given as part of his prison uniform had stopped fitting him ages ago, and it didn't seem as if any replacement was forthcoming, leaving him to go barefoot.

He got used to the sight of them.

He wanted to pretend that it was some kind of side effect of his toes fusing- but no, even his middle toe, unaffected by the change, was starting to turn purple. Tracing it with a clawed finger, Keith narrowed his eyes, realizing with a sinking feeling just what he was _half_ of.

Pressing his head into his knees, he closed his eyes. Had they already changed, long ago? Was that why his cellmates had begun treating him like he was some kind of dangerous animal- because whenever he looked at them, he did so with the eyes of a Galra?

He could never go back now.

Not to Earth, not to Voltron.

He was the enemy.

He wanted to convince himself that this was all Haggar's doing, that she was twisting his genetic code, turning him from human into something else. But he knew that wasn't true. There were too many pieces of the puzzle that fit, looking back- why he never knew his mother, why he could never fit in, no matter where he went.

He hoped they'd found a good replacement for the red paladin. It might be a little rough without the red bayard- it had been taken with him, and he'd not seen it since- but they would make do. He knew his team.

Even if they weren't _his_ team any longer.

Honestly, he wanted to cry. But he wouldn't give Haggar that satisfaction, no matter how cathartic the act of shedding tears might be right now.

Pulling his head up, he rose to his feet. As long as he didn't dwell on having six toes, he could walk just fine. The gradual transition had helped, allowing him to find his balance on changed feet. Pacing helped him sort his thoughts, even as his claws clicked against the floor, serving as a constant reminder.

So he was going to turn purple.

Fine, he could deal with that. He could never go back home, but fine, he could manage. There was nothing for him on Earth, and the paladins had to have moved on by now, even Shiro. Guess his only option was finding that deserted planet, provided he ever managed to get out of here.

Maybe he could find a planet that had desert sunsets that would put Earth's to shame.

Better for him to disappear from their lives, than for them to see him like this. Shiro... Shiro who had so much taken from him by the Galra, if he saw him like this...

Clenching his fists, he felt the bite of his claws. No. He couldn't put Shiro through that. Better that he think he was dead, than for him to learn he was Galra. That he'd been Galra all along.

And yet... there was some small, selfish part of him that really wanted to see him now. For Shiro to put his hand on his shoulder, to reassure him that everything was going to be alright. That he was still _Keith_ , that him being Galra changed nothing.

Slumping down into a corner of his cell, he stopped fighting the urge to curl into himself. Stopped fighting everything, really.

He let himself cry.

* * *

Haggar noticed the purple.

The number of injections increased, leaving him delirious with pain more often than not. It was as if he could feel his body betraying him, shaping itself into something new. Twice a week now, and with all the burning intensity of the first one, leaving him writhing on the floor, begging for it to be over.

Haggar watched, impassive.

But sometimes- sometimes she spoke.

And he wished she wouldn't.

"They could have come for you," she would say, "-but they didn't."

He would scream, sometimes just to drown out the sound of her voice. He didn't want to hear that. Even in the depths of his pain filled haze, he knew what she was trying to do. He wasn't- he wasn't going to let her do that.

She could twist his body, strip him of everything that made him human, but he would _not_ let her touch his mind.

He would not become a monster.

A human wearing a monster's skin, maybe. With every new inch of purple, the more those words became true. His body was changing, finding seemingly new ways to betray him each day, just when he thought it couldn't possibly get any worse.

But he would not listen to her.

"They don't care about you," she would croon, "-you've already been replaced."

He already knew!

But that was what he _wanted_. Saving him was too risky, and he wasn't worth it. He never had been. That was only more true than ever now- before, he had just been Keith Kogane, an orphan, a dropout, someone with nothing, not even family.

Now he was Galra- or getting there.

She would whisper, and he would refuse to listen. Stare at her with hate in his eyes, but not the hate that she wanted to see, not the hate directed towards the paladins. She could do her worst, but he would not turn on them, would _never_ turn on them.

Whenever there was a break in the injections, he was tossed into the arena. He always fought against beasts, mindless in their attack patterns, only desperate for their survival. It was only after his third time that he realized that he too, was one of these beasts- that this was how they saw him, the Galra watching the matches.

He was on display, the former red paladin of Voltron, reduced to _this_. This screaming, half-feral beast, who fought with claws and teeth because he had nothing else, who grew strong in the arena even as he desperately tried to cling to the fundamentals of self defense, as Shiro had once taught him.

But sometimes he would also drop to all fours and _lunge_ , a growl ripping itself from his throat that he did not know he was capable of making before that moment. Like he was a beast himself.

He tried harder after that. It became easier- he got used to the pain again, his thoughts becoming clearer. He kept this a secret, for he knew the moment Haggar found out, the pain would intensify, or she would think of some new tactic that was more horrible than the last. What time he had to think, he needed.

Shiro had tried to teach him how to meditate on Earth, but it hadn't gone over well. How ironic that he would put it to use now. It helped, at least a little- allowing him to focus his thoughts, which could sometimes be more scattered than he would like, especially after coming from the arena.

Either turn him or break him- those seemed to be Haggar's two goals. If she could not have him as a loyal servant of the Galra Empire, then she would have him as a beast.

Damned if he'd give her either.

He hadn't stopped to take stock of himself in a long time- usually in too much pain to do so. He just knew that the changes had been vast and far reaching, and in truth, part of the reason he hadn't done so yet was out of pure fear at finding how just how deeply they ran.

Running his hands over his face, he felt the bristle of fur underneath the soft pads of his fingers, which now covered near every inch of his body. It was just as purple as his skin, and though he hated it, at least it provided him some protection from the cold.

Hands straying to his ears, he felt them out as best he could. Without a mirror, he would never know for sure, but they had grown- large and fuzzy, not unlike Sendak's, he thought, though their location had not changed. He could feel them twitch and move, which was a strange sensation.

He didn't even remember when he'd grown the _tail_.

Though purple, it stubbornly refused to grow any fur, for which he couldn't decide if he was grateful or not. Running a hand over it, he tried to shake how strange it was to get sensation from a limb he did not possess before, and instead focused on how it felt almost scaled under his touch.

Great, so he was some kind of Galra _chimera_ now.

Long and prehensile, it had become a weapon for him in the arena far before he'd even stopped to comprehend that he _had_ one now. It certainly explained why it felt as if his center of gravity had shifted, because it, in fact, had.

Speaking of things he hadn't noticed in his haze, he'd lost a finger somewhere along the way, one on each hand, leaving him with eight total. Had two of them fused, like his toes had? Bending his finger joints, he frowned, unable to tell, and decided to just be grateful that he still was in possession of an opposable thumb.

His hands were massive now, like those of any Galra- feet and arms too, the latter long and dangling like he had noticed on other Galra. _Everything_ about him was too big now- he felt keenly in that moment like something small wearing the skin of something very large. His overall frame had not changed much- he wasn't bulky, just _tall_.

Near as he could guess, he must have grown an extra two feet. Seven feet tall, or taller, but it was hard when there was nothing around for him to accurately compare himself to.

Even his hair had changed color, but he was almost one hundred percent certain that the shock of white was due to stress, and nothing else. It was longer too, more unruly, like a mane- but that was simply from passing time.

At least it didn't _feel_ as if his facial features had changed that much. His nose might have been a little broader, but it was hard to tell without a mirror. All he could do was feel his features out, and that could only tell him so much.

Well, if the witch's goal had been to turn him into a Galra- or _more_ Galra, then he had to say, she very much succeeded.

He didn't know if any of the paladins would even recognize him, even if they saw him. He kind of hoped not.

Assessing his options, Keith paced the floor of his small cell. His gait was awkward now, still trying to get used to longer limbs, this new body he'd found himself in. It was still _his_ body, had been molded out of it, but it felt too much like he'd been forced into the body of a stranger at times, a feeling he was still trying to come to grips with.

He had to find a way out of here.

He was stronger now, but the witch was more clever. Sometimes she would use gas to knock him out before dragging him out of the room. Sometimes it would be in his food, odorless and tasteless, lulling him to sleep. If he could just get past that, somehow...

Whatever else about him had changed, he was _still_ a pilot. If he could just get to an escape pod, or a fighter, then he could get out of here. Maybe the controls would feel strange in his hands, four fingered and clawed as they were, but he would not let that stop him.

Slamming his fist against the cell door, jolting a little at the loud sound it produced, he frowned. A weaker one would have crumpled at the force, or at least bent inwards, but the cell doors were designed to contain prisoners much stronger than he. He didn't even leave a _dent_ in it, all it got him was a sore hand.

He kicked it, producing very much the same result, just with his foot. Ugh.

Grunting, Keith fell back on the floor, crossing his legs in front of him. His tail twitched out of the way, coiling around them, the tip of it moving up and down as if to taunt him. Propping up his elbow on his leg, he leaned his chin into it, closing his eyes.

He found his thoughts drifting to the paladins. What would _they_ do?

Well they wouldn't have turned into a _Galra_ , for one. He suspected that if he didn't have the blood in him to begin with, then Haggar wouldn't have never been able to do what she had done. He wouldn't wish it on any of them.

Lance would have tried to flirt his way out, probably. Unable to help himself, he let out a snort. Yeah, that was not going to work. Even if he wasn't guarded exclusively by sentries, _flirting_ had never been a thought that crossed his mind. He literally could not do it to save his life.

Pidge could probably just crawl into the vents and disappear. She was tiny. He couldn't even imagine how tiny she'd be next to him now- would she even come up to his waist?

Hunk would... god, he didn't even want to _think_ about Hunk being taken prisoner. Maybe he'd just win them over by virtue of how _nice_ he was. Totally unrealistic, but hey, he liked Hunk, he wasn't about to subject him to horrible conditions even in his mental simulation.

Allura... he wondered if they would treat a prisoner of her status different. She was royalty, even if her planet had been destroyed. She would probably keep her head held high the entire time, not showing any signs of weakness.

God, she'd hate him now.

Coran... honestly, he didn't know Coran that well. But he was an engineer, so he'd probably work something out. Stow away a secret tool in that mustache of his or something.

Shiro. Maybe he could have answered that one before. He had already been their prisoner once, and that had changed him. The man who came back was not the same man who had left, although there was enough left for Keith to recognize. Still his brother, that much would never change.

Wish he could say the same about him.

Opening his eyes, he glanced down at his body again. A human wearing a monster's skin.

He would have to grow into the skin, some part of him thought. He didn't want it, but it was his now, and if he hoped to survive this, mind intact, then he would need to.

He could fake it- give the witch what she wanted long enough to get out of here. But even if it was a lie, the thought of vowing _any_ kind of loyalty to the Galra Empire made his stomach churn.

He might look like them, but he was _not_ one of them.

Pretend he'd lost all sense, and act like a beast? That seemed like a bad idea for a number of reasons, least of all because it sounded like an easy thing to do, but a hard thing to shake off.

He put both those options off the table. If he kept his wits about him, he could surely find some means of escape.

Whatever form it came in, if he found a chance, he would take it.

(In hindsight, perhaps he should have been a little more specific.)


	2. offer

We're back with chapter two! In which Lotor was planned to appear, and does, technically, but doesn't get a speaking part just yet, lol. Writer 101- sometimes things just don't work out like you plan them to, and when they don't, it's better to try and not to force it. Rushed writing is bad writing!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter two**

 **offer**

* * *

His first visitor was a cat.

For a long moment, all he could do was stare at it. It didn't look exactly like an Earth cat, and there had been space mice back on the castle-ship, but even if this might be some kind of alien cat, it still didn't explain what it was doing here, in his cell. For a minute, he debated pinching himself, but dismissed the idea once he realized he had no idea how to do that with claws.

If this was a dream, he'd be human.

This _had_ to be some trick of Haggar's. There was no other reason for this strange space cat to be in his cell.

And yet, though he knew that, he found himself holding out his hand anyways. He was more of a dog person, really, but he liked cats well enough.

For a long moment, the cat did nothing, merely staring at him. It didn't flinch away from him, which is what he would have expected it to do- his hand was massive in comparison to the cat, easily twice the size of its head.

Needless to say, when it approached him, it took him by surprise. Pressing its head into his massive hand, heedless of his wicked claws, the cat let out a faint rumble which he could only conclude was some kind of purr, if not one that was strange, distorted.

Probably because this was a space cat, but still.

He probably shouldn't be doing this. The chances that this _wasn't_ one of the witch's tricks was low. Maybe she had sent it here to judge his state of mind- maybe she'd thought he'd maul the cat. He had just come from the arena, and hadn't had long to cool down from it before he'd noticed the cat.

He wasn't that far gone, though. He'd gotten better at keeping himself in check, but he knew it was only a matter of time before the witch noticed, and changed her tactics once again. He didn't know how much longer he could keep her at bay, but for as long as he could, he would.

Until the moment he couldn't anymore, he would hold out.

But even if this was one of the witch's tricks, he couldn't deny that the strange cat pulled at some part of him. A faint smile parting his lips, Keith stroked it, careful of his claws, not wanting to risk hurting it.

It continued to purr, rubbing itself against his hand, drawing closer to him. With it sitting right in front of him, purring like a motorboat, he couldn't deny the strange sense of peace that washed over him.

"You're not scared of me, huh?"

The words came out as a faint whisper, causing the cat's ears to flick, peering up at him. His faint smile turning rueful, he lightly stroked it underneath its chin, using the side of his finger to avoid his claws, causing it to close its eyes in pleasure.

Maybe it was just because it was used to being around Galra, he thought. To another of his kind- and it was _his_ kind now, he probably didn't look all that monstrous, but to him, that didn't matter. Even without a mirror to see his own reflection, he knew enough of what he looked like to glean that to anyone else, he probably did.

If he went back to Earth, he wondered how long it would take him to turn into some kind of local cryptid. The thought caused him to laugh in spite of himself, wondering what it would be like to be on the other side of such a hunt.

"Didn't know the Galra even kept pets." Keith muttered, his tail looping around to his front, tip of it dangling in front of the cat. It cracked one eye open, watching it carefully for a second, before it reached out, trying to grab at the tip. He darted it out of the way just in time, just out of its reach.

He didn't need to worry about its claws. The scales that covered his tail were thick, tough to pierce. He'd barely even feel it, even if it did catch it.

Cracking a grin, he watched as the cat doggedly tried to pursue his tail, each time just a bit too slow to grasp it. It was funny, really. Here he was, teasing a cat with his _tail_ , but it was still the most normal he had felt in ages.

"Wonder if you have a name." Keith said.

He didn't know why he said that. It probably did. It wasn't like it could answer him anyways. He was pretty sure space cats worked like regular cats in that regard, and however animalistic he'd gotten, it wasn't enough to understand what any of the beasts in the arena were saying, so he doubted he suddenly spoke cat, much less _space_ cat.

Not that he _needed_ to understand the beasts in the arena. He was pretty sure they were just screaming. Which he could relate to, a lot.

Eventually lowering his tail, he allowed the cat to grasp at it with its claws. It wasted no time in doing so, sinking them in, shortly followed by its teeth, but just as he thought, it didn't hurt at all. He could barely even feel it.

Smiling, he let it gnaw at the tip of his tail for awhile, before he deftly pulled it away, moving it back behind him. The cat peered curiously in that direction, but didn't seem too interested in chasing it.

"Good kitty." He mumbled, stroking its head again.

His choice of words reminded him of the red lion- and he tried not to think on it. The red lion wasn't his any longer, and never again would be. It must have been months since he had been captured, so there was no doubt that they had found a new red paladin by now.

He didn't blame them in the least. They were fighting a war, they couldn't afford to not have all five lions.

"Don't suppose you know a way out of here?" Keith asked.

Even if the cat did, he doubted he'd be able to follow it. It would have been a squeeze even when he was human, and now he was twice that size.

The cat's ears flicked, and so did his own. He could hear what it heard- the sound of metal striking metal, the approaching footsteps of a sentry. It pulled away from him then, dashing up the wall and into a small vent so quick, that it was gone before he could even blink.

There it went.

If that was a trick of the witch's, he'd probably given her everything she wanted. But even if it was, it was worth it, if only to feel _normal_ for the span of a few minutes.

And if it wasn't... then he wondered.

* * *

There was someone else in his cell.

He couldn't see them, couldn't hear them, but he _could_ smell them.

He suspected his sense of smell was even stronger than that of other Galra, his senses sharpened by his time in the arena, or possibly made that way by the witch. He'd picked up on their scent from the moment he'd been thrown back in his cell, but thus far, they hadn't done anything.

They were just watching.

Fair enough. He didn't know who this invisible intruder was, but two could play at that game. Closing his eyes, Keith drew in a long breath, crossing his legs, resting his arms on them. Curling his tail around his legs, he steadied his breathing, trying to shake of the adrenaline that was still coursing through him from the arena.

It had been a vicious match, but he'd won. His back was still throbbing from where he had been slammed to the ground, but he'd managed to break free before the thing could bite his head off, turning the fight around. Now it was dead, and he was not.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Shiro would be thrilled to learn that he had finally taken up meditation. He had tried to get him into it back at the Garrison, as a means to help deal with his anger issues, but he'd never taken to it. Never had the patience.

Guess in hindsight, him being half Galra explained a lot. His temper, for one.

No wonder he never fit in.

Drawing in a deep breath, he let go of such thoughts. It did him no good to focus on the past now. It was fixed, it wouldn't change. All he could do now was focus on the present- try to figure out a way out of here.

Figure out who this person in his cell was.

They smelled like a Galra, but not wholly. There was something else intermingled in their scent, something he had never smelled before. Maybe another halfbreed, like him.

They smelled, he thought, vaguely of the cat.

Whoever this was, they couldn't be with the witch. She wouldn't have made the mistake of sending someone in that she knew he would be able to smell. She was the one who had created him, in a sense. It turned his stomach to know that she now knew his own body better than he did, so he tried not to dwell on it.

Cracking one eye open, without moving, he peered in the direction the scent came from. "I know you're there."

"Hm," the intruder had the audacity to sound impressed, "-what gave me away?"

"Your scent."

"Wow," it was a woman's voice, he thought, opening both eyes now, "-good nose."

When she finally chose to show herself, she was right in front of him. He knew that much, he just hadn't expected her to be so _close_ \- there was barely any distance between their faces. It must have shown on his, because she gave him a coy smile, pulling back away, sitting on the ground in front of him.

He was right about one thing- there was no way she was a full blooded Galra. If it weren't for the yellow sclera and her scent, he might have never even guessed.

There was the armor too, but it was like no other armor he'd seen before within the Empire's ranks. The mark of the Galra Empire was emblazoned on its shoulders, but aside from that, there was nothing to suggest at first glance that she was with them. It was more than enough to catch his attention.

"What are you even doing?"

Letting out a faint snort, Keith couldn't help but think she had a lot of nerve. She was the one who had broken into _his_ cell- and yes, he did recognize the irony in that statement- and she was asking _him_ questions?

"Meditating."

He saw no reason to lie- whoever she was, it was clear she wasn't with Haggar. That didn't mean he trusted her- but for the moment, his curiosity won out.

"Huh," she seemed to frown, and only now did he realize she was mimicking his crosslegged posture, "-sounds boring."

"Entertainment hours are over." Keith told her, not missing a beat.

"Oh, funny." She remarked, lifting her brows. "Guess that nasty witch hasn't gotten to your sense of humor yet."

"Guess not." He replied.

"So," pressing her hands on her knees, she peered curiously at him, "-you got a name?"

"What, you don't know it already?" Keith asked, cocking a brow.

"It's not in any of your files." She admitted. "So no."

Wow. The one thing he had actually told them, and they hadn't even bothered to write it down. Figured.

"I don't know how it is where you're from," Keith told her, looking her square in the eye, "-but whereI'm from, you're supposed to give a name to get one."

She frowned at that, but then shrugged her shoulders. "Fair enough. It's Ezor."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith studied her, trying to figure out just what her angle here was. If she wasn't with Haggar, then who _was_ she with?

"Keith."

"Keith." Ezor repeated. "Weird name."

Twitching, Keith grit his teeth. His name felt like the only human thing he had left, he wasn't about to let some random Galra insult it. "Look, what do you even want from me? I'm guessing you didn't break in here just to make small talk."

"Oh, feisty." Ezor remarked. "I like it."

Letting out a low growl, Keith felt his fur bristle. "Just cut to the chase already."

"Wow," Ezor frowned, tilting her head, "-and to think I came here to offer you a way out."

That stopped him cold, wondering if he had heard her right. A way out?

Instantly, he was suspicious. She was Galra, however halfblooded, and any offer made by the Galra was suspect.

Except... he was Galra too, wasn't he? Did that make him automatically untrustworthy? And his mother, whoever she had been, was she untrustworthy too? He struggled to imagine his father, his kind, patient father, falling in love with someone who held the beliefs of the Galra Empire close to her heart.

He hated to imagine him being tricked even more.

And his father _had_ been in love with his mother. As little as he spoke about her, Keith knew that much.

But no, this was different. Maybe her armor wasn't familiar to him, but it still bore the emblem of the Galra Empire. Maybe- _maybe_ \- there were Galra out there who weren't part of it, who could be trusted, but however open her personality seemed, he didn't think she was one of them.

Nor was whoever was pulling her strings.

Whoever they were, he doubted the offer was being made from the goodness of their heart. They probably wanted something from him- information about Voltron, the castle-ship, maybe the paladins or Allura. Maybe they wanted his loyalty, which they would find even harder to get from him than information, and that was already hard enough.

"What's the catch?" Keith asked, choosing not to mince words.

"No catch." Ezor told him, spreading out her hands. "There's someone who wants to talk to you, but once that's over and done with, you can just leave if you want."

Letting out a snort, Keith gave her a skeptical look. Or so he thought, at least- most Galra he'd met were stoic, and he didn't know how his own expressions worked on his changed face. He didn't even know if he still had pupils.

"They want to make me an offer."

"Oh, smart too." Ezor noted.

"And if I refuse the offer?" Keith questioned.

"We'll just drop you off anywhere you like." Ezor told him with a shrug.

That he found _really_ hard to believe. If he didn't accept their terms, they'd just let him go? Just like that? No way could it be that simple.

"I don't believe you." Keith told her, frank in his words.

"It's not like you've got a whole lot of options here." Ezor pointed out. "It's obvious the paladins aren't coming for you, and I don't think the witch is going to stop until she gets what she wants, which I'm pretty sure is you, feral and foaming at the mouth. This is pretty much a one time offer."

"I could escape on my own." Keith noted, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, you've been doing a great job of that so far." Ezor remarked. "Do you even know how long you've been here?"

Narrowing his eyes, Keith didn't answer that. He didn't. He had some vague idea- that they were dealing with a matter of months, rather than weeks, he had no doubt.

"You don't, do you." Ezor said, her tone almost vaguely amused. "Wanna know?"

"Fine," closing his eyes, Keith got a feeling he'd regret this, "-how long?"

"Eight months, going off your Earth calendar. Acxa did the math!"

Snapping his eyes open, Keith froze. Eight months had been longer than he'd been expecting. He didn't know how the Galra kept time, but in Earth terms, that was four months shy of a _year_.

"Eight months, and you haven't found a single chance to escape." Ezor told him. "What makes you think that's going to change before the witch breaks you?"

Frowning, Keith couldn't deny that she had a point. He _hated_ it, but she did. The witch was taking every precaution with him- losing Shiro must have taught her not to underestimate humans. This might very well be his only chance.

He could either walk out of here on his own two feet, or leave it on four, feral and animalistic, any trace of human in him long since destroyed- and who knew what Haggar would use him for after that. He'd be gambling with his own mind, and no matter how he turned it, he didn't like his chances. He was stubborn, and determined too- but so was Haggar.

Eight months was a long time. He was willing to bet that he could hold out for another eight months, but given the scale of the Galra Empire, he doubted that Voltron could put an end to it in that time frame. If there was no way for him to escape, then waiting for Voltron to defeat Zarkon was his only other option- but there was no way that Shiro would lead a head on charge against Central Command without a solid plan.

No matter what option he picked, it wasn't good.

Take a chance on the unknown, or stay here, and risk losing himself? Either way, he might be used against Voltron, but if he had to choose, then he chose the one that left him with coherent thought.

"Will they really just let me leave if I don't agree?" Keith asked, still suspicious. No matter what her answer was, it wasn't a feeling that would change, but no matter how he turned it over in his head, if he wanted out of here, this was shaping up to be his best option.

"That's what I _just_ said." Ezor told him, sounding almost vaguely exasperated, clearly annoyed at having to repeat herself. "Anywhere you like. Well, I mean, not back to Voltron, that one might be a little tricky, but anywhere _aside_ from that."

Letting out a faint snort, Keith didn't even bother to keep it in. Go back to Voltron? He was the enemy now, how could he go back? Even if they managed to recognize him, the only thing that would accomplish was to force them all to realize that they had been living with the enemy for months- or _years_ , in Shiro's case.

He couldn't let them see him like this.

"Fine," getting to his feet, standing at his full height, Keith stared down at Ezor, "-if you say you can get me out of here, lets see you do it."

"Oh good!" Springing to her feet, Keith dimly noted that he was taller than her, though thankfully, not by much. "Now then," opening up the vent, she yanked out a mess of armor, all but shoving it into his hands, "-time to get changed!"

* * *

And here he said he'd never wear Galra armor.

The foot soldier armor that Ezor had thrust at him was just as uncomfortable as it looked. It wasn't designed for someone with a tail, but there had been a small slit made ahead of time at the base of his spine where his tail began. He coiled it around his right leg, fully aware that it made him stand out, and wanting to draw as little attention to himself as possible. It threw his balance off a bit, but he managed.

The helmet clearly wasn't designed for someone with his ears either, and they felt cramped inside of it. The sensation of pain he was getting from them was a new one, but he tried not to think on it.

He couldn't turn invisible like Ezor. He'd never see a Galra with that kind of ability, but then, it was obvious she wasn't full Galra.

The same had been true for him- once.

Not any longer. That much was made obvious by the fact that the moment he put the armor on, nobody so much as stopped to question him.

He blended in.

The thought made him sick to his stomach, so he tried not to think about it. Instead, he focused on where Ezor was heading, tracking her movements by her scent. The fighter that she lead him to was nondescript, and he supposed it was that way on purpose.

Guess he was right about her not being with the witch. But from the way they were sneaking around the ship, it didn't seem like they were entirely with _Zarkon_ , either.

And that caught his interest.

Yanking off the damned helmet as soon as they were inside the fighter, Keith tossed it to one side, letting his tail unwind from around his leg. Rubbing his ears, he was grateful for their freedom, feeling them twitch underneath his hands.

Glancing at the pilot's seat, he watched as Ezor slid in, humming to herself. He felt a pang of jealousy, but seeing as he didn't even know where they were going, it was better to leave the controls to her.

Now would be a good chance to try and take her out, but he wasn't stupid enough to think that would actually work. He hadn't grown enough into his new skin to shake the awkward gait it had given him, like his joints wanted to bend in a different way than he was using them. Fighting a mindless beast was one thing, but a trained opponent?

Better to save his strength.

He wasn't going to lie either- the minute they left Central Command behind them, he felt his breathing grow a bit easier. There were no physical shackles on him, but he felt them falling away as they made their way into open space, putting distance between them.

For all he knew, he was just headed to a new prison.

At least this one might be free of creepy space witches- an improvement, in his book.

Even small Galra fighters were capable of making hyperspace jumps, it looked like. Glancing at the screens, he tried in vain to figure out where they were heading- but though he'd started to pick up on the spoken language, his knowledge of their written language was nonexistent.

There were no reflective surfaces in here either, he noted. Even the armor that he had been given was dull. He considered asking, but decided against it.

"Kova."

Ezor's voice broke him from his thoughts, causing him to blink.

"You asked." Ezor told him, peering back at him. "His name is Kova."

For the span of a moment, he couldn't figure out what she was talking about. He hadn't asked the name of the person who sent her, though in hindsight, he probably should have. The only name he'd asked for recently was-

"...the cat?" Keith ventured, uncertain.

"What's a _cat_?" Ezor asked.

Right. Of course a space cat wouldn't be called a cat. He didn't know why the space mice were called _mice_ , come to think of it.

"It's an Earth animal." He supplied. "It looks like the- was that _your_ cat?"

" _Oh_ , you're talking about Kova!" Ezor remarked, her eyes wide with understanding. "Kova's not my cat," she told him, stressing the unfamiliar word, "-he's Narti's."

Frowning, Keith stared at her. "How do you even know I asked?"

"Ah, ah, ah, that's our secret." Ezor told him, wagging her finger. "We can't just tell you everything, not until you've agreed to join us."

Cocking a brow, he watched as she visibly flinched. "...so you _are_ trying to get me to join you."

"...any chance we can just pretend I didn't say that?" Ezor ventured. "Lo- my commander wouldn't be happy if he found out I told you that."

So whoever she was bringing him to, they were male. He didn't know if commander was his actual rank or not, or she had just made it up on the fly as a cover, but just as he thought, they wanted him to throw his allegiance in with them. That would be an offer he would be turning down, as if he had any doubt about it before.

At best, they would keep their word, and ditch him on the closest habitable planet. At worst, he'd just find himself in a new prison.

"You got a mirror on this ship?" Keith asked. Might as well try and take advantage of her blunder as best he could.

"Why would you need a- _oh!_ " Watching as it clicked, understanding dawned across Ezor's face. "You don't know what you look like."

That confirmed that she knew his form had been altered. That didn't come as much of a surprise either. If she had read over his files, as she said she had, then there was no way that wouldn't earn some kind of a mention.

"We don't have any mirrors, but I might be able to work something up with the monitors." Ezor told him. "Will that keep you from mentioning _you know what_ to _you know who_?"

"Deal." Keith told her.

Frowning, she considered it for a moment, before she shrugged her shoulders. Pressing a few buttons, he nearly jumped as a screen appeared in front of him, turned reflective by some trick.

A Galra stared back at him.

He knew that much already, but it was one thing to _know_ it, and another thing to _see_ it. He was right about one thing- his face hadn't changed that much. The shape of his jaw and the set of his mouth were virtually unchanged from when he was human, and though his nose was broader, the overall shape of it was the same.

But everything else?

It was like looking at a stranger.

Placing a hand up against his face, as if to confirm the Galra reflected back at him was really him, he felt something in him seize up as it mimicked his movements. Golden eyes stared back at him, and even though they were his own, he couldn't for the life of him figure out where they were looking.

At least the shape of them was still the same, if nothing else. His hair might have changed color- completely white now, like it had picked a fight with Shiro's hair and won, but his brows were still black, a stark contrast to his violet fur.

Touching the tip of one of his ears, Keith frowned, watching the expression play out on his new face. The emotion didn't carry in his eyes, which made him harder to read, but otherwise it looked the same as it always had, no more stoic than he had been before. Toying with the tip of his ear, he confirmed what he had determined when he'd felt them out- large and fuzzy, almost like a bat.

Dropping his hand, he traced the fur on his face. There were markings on either cheek, set in a deeper shade of violet than the rest of his fur. Trailing them back, he lifted up his hair, straining to see where they carried down to the back of his neck, wondering how far they went.

Lowering his hair, Keith stared back at his reflection.

If he didn't already know he was part human, he'd never be able to guess it now. It was like the balance had flipped completely, and he hated it.

He hated it, but there was nothing he could do about it. Though he still hadn't fully settled in his skin, this change felt pretty permanent, and he couldn't imagine that Haggar's work could be undone so easily. The only thing left was for him to accept it.

This- this _Galra_ was him now.

He was right about one thing- the team would never be able to recognize him like this- not even Shiro. With his PTSD, he would probably see the Galra long before he saw his brother reflected in him. He looked every inch like the enemy, and for a second, he didn't feel like a human wearing a monster's skin, he just felt like a monster.

Like a Galra.

It set into him then, in a way it hadn't before. He was Galra. He'd _always_ been Galra. The only thing different was that he now looked more like it.

Closing his eyes, he let out a shuddering breath.

"That bad, huh?"

Snapping his eyes open, it was with a jolt that he recalled he wasn't alone. Ezor had spun the pilot's chair around, legs pulled up, sitting in it crosslegged as she stared at him. Narrowing his eyes, he glowered at her, fighting the urge to bare his teeth.

"Hey, I get it." Lifting her hands, she gave him an almost sympathetic look. "That witch did a real number on you. Can't be easy to deal with."

"Didn't ask for your commentary." Keith hissed. The last thing he wanted was sympathy from a Galra- especially not a some halfbreed that got to look the part.

"Suit yourself." Shrugging her shoulders, Ezor turned her chair back around. "We're here."

Lifting his head, Keith turned his gaze towards the cockpit. As the last vestiges of the hyperspace jump faded, leaving them back in normal space, his eyes focused on a single ship. It bore the same insignia as Ezor's armor, but it was like no Galra ship he had ever seen before.

"Where are we?"

The question slipped out, unbidden, and he didn't miss the flash of amusement that danced in Ezor's eyes. She ignored him, instead beginning the docking procedures. Watching her closely, Keith hung back, his tail stilling itself.

There were four figures waiting for them in the hangar- all Galra, and all wearing the same armor as Ezor- and all flanking a central figure. The tallest one flanked the back, broad shouldered, something aggressive in her stance. Perched on the shoulder of the left was the space cat from before- and it was with a shock that he noticed that she appeared to have no eyes.

 _Narti_ , some part of him supplied.

The one to the right was more blue than purple, but she was still Galra, marked by the yellow of her sclera. None of them seemed to follow the standard Galran appearance, and he couldn't help but wonder if they were all halfbreeds.

Like him.

But it was the one in the center that drew the most attention. There was something commanding to his presence, to his body language, the way he carried himself- something self-assured, but also dangerous. His armor was slightly different from the rest- whoever he was, it wasn't hard to guess that he was the one in command here.

If he tried to fight him in his current state, he wouldn't stand a chance.

Narrowing his eyes, Keith squared his shoulders. Whoever this was, if he expected him to be so grateful for the rescue that he would agree to his terms immediately, he had another thing coming.

But somehow, he didn't get that feeling.

"Oh right!" Ezor said. "Nearly forgot."

Frowning, he turned to look back at her, watching as she rifled around in the cockpit. Brows furrowing, he wondered just what it was she was doing, before she popped back up again, a pair of familiar objects in hand.

The red bayard- and his mother's knife.

It had been tucked away in his paladin armor when they had raided the transportation hub. He didn't think he'd need it, but he'd brought it along with him anyways.

"Yours, right?" Ezor asked.

Seeing them both in the hands of a Galra made his skin prickle, fur standing on end. "Yes."

"Great, because let me tell you, Haggar has _no_ discernible management strategy." Ezor told him. "I didn't even know where to look to find your armor."

"Not like it would still fit." He muttered, half to himself.

"Hm," frowning, Ezor arched her brows, "-good point."

Walking forward, she stopped just short of him, holding out both the knife and the bayard. Brow furrowing, his brain ground to a halt, for a moment, unable to comprehend what was happening, what was being offered.

In the next, he took them from her, before she could change her mind. Feeling the weight of his mother's knife in his hand, he felt a certain sense of peace wash over him.

It was funny. His mother had to have been Galra, which meant that this knife had to be a Galra knife. And yet... no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't bring himself to hate his mother, or the knife that she had left behind for him.

Optimism wasn't something he was known for, but he wanted to believe that his mother, at least, wasn't like all the rest.

The holster in the armor he'd been given wasn't designed for knives, but he shoved it in there anyways. Hanging the red bayard off of a hook on the armor, he felt a little better having the pair of them by his side- even if he had lost the right to wield the latter.

Maybe he could find a way to send it back to the castle-ship, if all went well.

"Okay," steeling himself, Keith stared straight forward, "-let's get this over with."


	3. prince

Oh look what it is, chapter three! This one was a really fun one to write, the clash of Lotor's manipulative tactics vs Keith's I know what you're doing and I know it's bullshit but I have no choice but to go along with it also fuck you. It's good. The dynamic is good. I like it.

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter three**

 **prince**

* * *

Years in an orphanage had taught Keith one thing- that when something looked too good to be true, it usually was.

Shiro had been the exception to that, like a rare gem, and it had taken ages for him to warm up to him even still. He kept expecting things to take a turn for the worse, as they always did- but when they finally did, Shiro himself had nothing to do with it. It had literally taken being abducted by aliens to pull him out of his life.

By thinking of Shiro as the exception to the rule, Keith never lost his wariness. It had served him well- back at the Garrison, it had allowed him to see through Iverson's bullshit.

He'd put it to good use here.

The central figure wasted no time in confirming that he was the one in command here. He took a step forward, holding himself with the confidence and assurance of someone that had a backup plan for his backup plan. It wasn't that Keith _couldn't_ read him- he just sensed that what he was being shown was exactly what this person wanted to show him, and nothing more.

Just as he was tense, this man was calm. Secure. This was his turf, and he knew it. He had nothing to fear here.

The others hung back behind him, Ezor leaving Keith's side to join them. They were watching him, he sensed- waiting for him to make a wrong move. Or even a _hint_ of a wrong move. He didn't doubt that they were instructed to subdue him if he did. The tallest almost seemed to be _itching_ to do so, much easier to read than the rest of her counterparts.

"The red paladin of Voltron." The man's voice was honey-sweet, smooth as silk. "A pleasure."

Back at the orphanage, there had been an older child there, who had warned him never to trust anyone who spoke like that. They were bad news, he'd said, and Keith had believed him, because he saw the story that he carried in his eyes.

" _Ex_." Keith corrected. "I'm not a paladin anymore."

Granted, he had no idea as to what the state of Voltron actually was, but he didn't think that they had gone this long without finding a replacement for him. Even the red lion, stubborn as she was, would surely see reason after about a month or two. It had been ages since he had felt her presence in his mind- not since he had been captured, in fact.

At first it had been like a void, and he'd mourned the presence of what was usually there, but he had gradually gotten used to it. During his time with Voltron, he had gotten so used to her being there. It hadn't taken him long to get used to being completely alone again. After losing Shiro, he had learned to keep others at a bit of a distance, so nothing could ever hurt him like that again.

Loneliness was not something that bothered him. Hadn't, for the longest time. He couldn't afford to let it.

The man merely let out a low hum, unbothered by his remark. "Nevertheless, you were once one chosen by the red lion. That is hardly anything to simply dismiss."

Pretty words, Keith thought, narrowing his eyes. If he thought he could entangle him with them, then he clearly didn't know the first thing about him.

"You sound like you know a lot about the lions." Keith observed.

"You might say that." There was a trace of amusement in the man's voice, a sense of _knowing_. "But I did not bring you here because I am interested in your role as a former paladin. I brought you here because I am interested in _you_."

He'd heard that line before too. Foster parents trying to look good by taking in a problem child, acting like they cared. They didn't- they had only been doing it for their own image, and it hadn't taken him long to see through that.

Once he did, he gave them exactly what they wanted- a problem child. He'd rather be sent back to the home, than deal with people like that.

"Maybe you should start with who you are, before you jump into trying to butter me up." Keith remarked, taking some small amount of pleasure at the faint way the man's brows crinkled at the untranslatable figure of speech. Still, he seemed to catch his meaning.

"I suppose you are right." The man said simply. "Very well then. I am Prince Lotor, son of Emperor Zarkon."

He said it with such ease, but the words automatically had Keith on guard- even more so than he was before, which he hadn't even thought possible. The only thing stopping him from going for his weapons was the keen instinct that this would be a fight he couldn't possibly win- if there was a chance he could leave here alive, he'd rather take that.

In the past, he would have done it anyways- screw the odds. He didn't know what was stopping him now- maybe some newfound instinct he had developed in the arena. Something more animalistic, more base. It was a disquieting thought, so he did what he did with all other such thoughts- _ignore it_.

But also- Zarkon's _son_? Zarkon _had_ one of those? Allura hadn't mentioned anything like that, so either she was keeping it from them- doubtful, Zarkon having an heir sounded like it would be pretty important- or she didn't know.

But if this was Zarkon's heir, why did he have to sneak him out of Central Command? Couldn't he have just asked for him if he wanted him? While Keith didn't like the idea of being traded around like some kind of commodity, the fact that he had broken him out of there made even _less_ sense in light of that fact.

Could there be some kind of internal power struggle? If Zarkon had been ruling for ten thousand years, then that had to bother any supposed heir to the throne. What was the point of being next in line for it if the current ruler never gave it up?

Also, who the hell fucked _Zarkon_?

He didn't know why, but the first thing that ended up coming out of his mouth was- "You _really_ don't look like your father."

Which was clearly a comment that Lotor had not expected, and it showed, if only for a split second. "Yes well," Lotor merely raised his brows, "-thankfully, I take after my mother."

That part at least felt honest.

"So," watching Lotor like a hawk, Keith frowned, "-what does Zarkon's heir want with me?"

Might as well ask the source. He doubted he'd get anything close to a straight answer from this guy, but it would be a start.

"I would hardly call myself my father's _heir_." Lotor told him- and he couldn't tell if he'd allowed that resentment to slip through on purpose, or he just felt it so intensely that he couldn't control it as well as he wished to. "I have been in exile for centuries, ever since I fell out of my father's favor."

Exile.

Well, that would explain the sneaking around.

Granted, this could all be some kind of larger ploy- a plot of Zarkon's witch, to get him on their side, to weaken his guard. But the fact that he had been given back his weapons didn't sit right with that- even if he couldn't beat them, he _could_ still take his own life, and after all the effort she had gone through to break him, he kind of doubted she'd let that happen so easily.

She probably knew just as well as he did that if he were ever out of options, he'd do it. He'd rather die than be made use of by the Galra Empire.

"Come," Lotor told him, "-let us not just stand around in the hangar. I am certain that you wish for a change of clothes. A shower, perhaps."

Ah yes. The diplomatic way of saying he stunk.

Honestly though, if he was offering him a shower, he wasn't about to refuse. It had been on his wish list for awhile now, right under _not being a fucking Galra_. He was just grateful that he couldn't smell himself.

But also, he sensed, it was meant to put him more into his debt- a chance to clean up, a fresh change of clothes- he was treating him like- well, not like a _human_ , just... like a person, he guessed. Which was more than he could say he'd gotten from anyone else in the past eight months.

"Sounds nice."

It was a non-committal answer, and the prince took it as such.

"Very good. Acxa," glancing towards the blue one, who upon closer examination, seemed to have something resembling horns, Lotor motioned to her with a hand, "-please take our guest to his quarters."

Guest. Quarters.

Humanization- which was a lousy choice of words given his current situation, but he didn't know a better term- was his tactic, then.

Giving him a salute, the woman- _Acxa_ \- bowed her head. "Yes, Prince Lotor. This way."

Her tone with him was curt, he noticed. Watching her carefully, he shot a passing glance back towards Lotor, before he took a step forward, allowing her to lead him from the hangar. His hand hovered over where the red bayard hung from his belt as she did so, but he dropped it after a moment.

He could try to take her out and escape- but he was not going to lie, the offer of a shower was tempting. Besides, he actually _did_ want to know just what it was that Zarkon's son wanted from him. Didn't mean he'd agree to it, but he couldn't deny that he was curious.

He doubted a tyrant's son was much better than the tyrant.

But if Lotor meant what he said about letting him go, then he could use this as a chance to gather information. Granted, he had _no_ idea how he'd go about getting it to Voltron once he had it, seeing as not only did he not know where they were, but there was also no way he would be able to directly approach them looking like he did, but he'd work something out.

If they didn't know Zarkon had a son, then they definitely needed to.

"We're here." As before, Acxa's tone was curt, measured. She didn't trust him, he sensed. Didn't like having him on the ship.

That was fair. He didn't trust her, and he didn't like _being_ on this ship.

Looking down at her, Keith kept his own tone just as curt. "Thanks."

She said nothing, merely making it clear that she would not be leaving. Posted out front, just like a guard- it made him feel like he was back in prison, albeit one with a shower, and, from the look of it, an actual bed. The door slid shut behind him, and for a brief second, Keith tensed- before he allowed himself to relax.

They definitely had not brought him out all this way to do something that they could have done back in his cell at Central Command.

There was, as promised, a change of clothes on the bed. No armor, nothing to indicate rank and file, just a sleeveless black shirt, and a pair of equally black pants. Still, it was better than what he had- which was currently stolen Galran foot solider armor and prisoner rags that probably stunk as bad as he did.

He couldn't get out of them fast enough.

Frankly, he had absolutely _zero_ ideas as how to actually go about washing his fur. It wasn't like Haggar had given him a manual or anything. But listen- he'd gone _eight months_ without a shower. Even when he had lived out in the desert for a year, he'd had running water. Right now, he frankly didn't care about technicalities.

He could figure out fur care later. Maybe. If he didn't get himself killed today. Which was possible.

At least he'd go to his grave _clean_.

The hot water, at least, felt good against his skin. Closing his eyes, for a long moment, Keith did nothing but marvel in the feeling- before he set himself to work cleaning himself. It took forever for the runoff to run clear- it was as black as soot at first, before finally settling into a dull gray.

He let his instincts take care of him once he was out, shaking himself out much like a dog. It splattered water everywhere, but eh. He'd been held captive by the Galra Empire for the past eight months, the least they could do was deal with a bit of excess water. Drying himself off was a feat that took almost as long as the shower, but once it was done, he felt...

...kind of good, actually.

He hadn't changed any, he was still Galra- but at least he was a _clean_ Galra. With a fresh set of clothes, he could see how this would have been a very effective tactic had he not recognized it for what it was.

He felt more normal than he had in the longest time- felt more like himself, more like _Keith_.

Staring back at his reflection, Keith narrowed his eyes. Pressing a hand against the mirror, he leaned in close, studying the details of his face. Once he got past everything that had changed- which was no easy feat- he could still see himself in his reflection. No one would probably recognize him at first glance, but if he changed his hair, dyed it black, somehow, then _maybe_...

No, no. He _wanted_ to be unrecognizable. The odds that he would run into Shiro, or any of the other paladins was low, but that didn't mean it was impossible.

Drawing his hand away, he looked back to the other article of clothing that he had been provided- a belt. He didn't know if Lotor had done his research, or if it was just a coincidence, but it gave him a place to hang his weapons, so he wasn't about to complain.

Even if he did fumble with it for a few minutes. His tail complicated things.

Eventually, he got it to work, hooking both his mother's knife and the red bayard onto it. The sheath, that had been his father's, had been left back on the Castle of Lions- he would have to get a new one.

Which was a painful thought. That, and the old belt, had been the only pieces of his father he'd had left after he'd found himself suddenly in space. Now he had nothing.

Not even the color of his hair.

Pushing such thoughts away, Keith drew in a deep breath. This was not a place where he could afford to show weakness. It would likely only be used against him.

Opening the door, he noted that he hadn't been locked in, but didn't let himself read too much into that. Acxa had been waiting for him this entire time, just as stiff as she had been when he'd entered. "Done?"

Giving her a curt nod of his head, Keith curled his tail in on itself, a bit like a lizard. "Done."

"Good." Acxa told him. "Prince Lotor wishes to speak with you."

"Yeah, kind of figured." Keith told her.

She said nothing to that, merely turned sharply on her heel, leading him off to some other part of the ship. That was fine by him- he fell into step behind her, fighting off the itch to just stab her and run.

He doubted it would go that smoothly anyways.

He didn't know where he expected her to take him, but it hadn't been the bridge of the ship. He definitely hadn't counted on Lotor being alone there, none of the others in sight.

Another tactic.

"I've brought him." Acxa told him.

"Very good. Thank you, Acxa." Lotor told her. "Now leave us. I wish to have a word in private with our former red paladin."

She didn't look happy about it, Keith noted, but she complied. "As you wish."

Alone, with no guards. A display of trust, Keith recognized- but also one of confidence. If it came down to it, he wouldn't need them to protect himself, and frankly, he didn't doubt it. Watching as Lotor rose to his feet, Keith folded his arms in front of him, taking some comfort from the familiarity of the action.

"I am sure you wish to know why I had you brought here-" Lotor began.

And Keith cut him off. "You want me to join you."

Throw them off their pace, and see how they react. He'd learned the hard way how to deal with manipulators.

Lotor, to his credit, barely so much as blinked. All that meant was that he was good. "I will be frank with you- yes."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith felt his frown return. "Maybe I'm not a paladin anymore, but what makes you think I would join you? The Galra Empire hasn't exactly done much to endear itself to me."

"Believe me when I say," and Keith had to bite back a comment that _no_ , he wouldn't, "-that if I had known you were there, I would have moved to free you sooner. Alas, your predicament only recently came to my attention."

"Free me?" Keith asked. "I'm your enemy."

"No, you are not." Lotor stated simply. "We share a common enemy- my father."

"What, get tired of waiting for him to step down from the throne?" Keith asked.

"I can understand why you would doubt me," Lotor observed, "-and I will admit that yes, I do seek the Galra throne. However, my intentions are in line with those of the Altean princess- peace."

Zarkon's son, professing to want _peace_. It sounded like a bad joke.

"Then why not approach the princess with your offer?" Keith asked. "Why _me_?"

"Do you sincerely believe that she would listen?" Lotor asked.

"Do you sincerely believe that _I_ will?" Keith shot back.

"I believe that I can offer you something that no one else can." Lotor told him. "A place. What Haggar did to you is unforgivable, but surely you must see that there are not many places in the universe that you can run to. Even your once allies may not accept you back with open arms."

He must have not done his research that well, then.

"I spent an entire year living in the desert." Keith told him, not even knowing if those words would mean anything to him. "I don't exactly need to be around people."

"No, but you do need a _cause_."

That caused him to flinch- because he was right. The moment he had lost his place at the Galaxy Garrison, he had found himself lost, without purpose. It had only been once he had picked up on the blue lion's energy, that he was able to find something akin to it again.

"As I have said, I understand why you would doubt me." Lotor began. "But I am being nothing if not sincere. You and I share something in common."

"I don't think being purple counts." Keith said.

"We are both half Galra." Lotor told him- and though he had guessed that much already, the confession somehow still managed to catch him off guard. Briefly, he couldn't help but wonder what the non-Galra half of Lotor was. "As are the rest of my generals. Should you join us, you will be shown nothing but respect."

"Your subordinate seems to have a different idea." Keith observed.

"Acxa is cautious." Lotor told him. "She believes that this is a risk. Give her time, and that will change."

"What if I say no?" Keith asked.

"Then we will leave you anywhere you wish." Lotor told him, again, making it sound so simple. "There are many planets in this quadrant alone that are capable of sustaining life. A few of them with deserts, if that is what you wish."

Narrowing his eyes further, Keith gauged the man in front of him. He had met Zarkon, if only once, but it had been enough to leave an impression on him. He was a man who commanded with power, with fear, demanding respect and punishing those who did not give it.

Lotor did not demand.

Keith had never gone with any of them himself, but he had seen children leave with foster families that seemed so perfect on the outside, only to return to the home with something broken inside. Some of them left scars, but those that did not- what they had done carried, even if it could not be seen with the naked eye.

Keith did everything in his power to avoid the latter. Kept his guard up at all times, trusted no one. _Survived_.

If Zarkon was the former, then Lotor was the latter.

He did not demand- he _manipulated_.

He was dangerous, Keith realized in that instant. Maybe even more dangerous than his father. If he approached him with this offer, what was to stop him from eventually doing it with the team, should the moment be right? He didn't think they would trust a Galra easily, especially not Zarkon's heir, but so long as Lotor played his cards right, it wasn't impossible.

All he had to do was keep saying all the right things- and something told him that he was good at that.

He had only ever trusted two people in his life- his father, and Shiro. The red lion too, but she wasn't so much a _person_ , as she was a sentient mechanical cat. Wary, skittish, _paranoid_ \- these were all traits that had made it difficult for him to find a foster family, to make friends.

They also told him that while not every word out of Lotor's mouth was a lie, that he still wasn't to be trusted.

"You say you want peace." Keith said. "What do you mean by that?"

"Serve the needs of the Galra Empire- to provide its people with quintessence, unlimited amounts of it." Lotor told him. "Peacefully, without relying on barbaric mining processes to do so."

Quintessence. He still only had a vague idea of what it was. It had been the stuff the druid was working with, when he had been captured. From the sound of it, it was some kind of power source.

"And you have a way to get that?" Keith asked.

"Not yet." Lotor confessed. "There is much work that still needs to be done. But I do believe that it is possible."

Considering the prince, Keith racked his brain. If nothing else, he believed what he said when he claimed that he would simply let him leave if he said no. Whatever Lotor wanted him for, he suspected that he was a contingency in a much larger plan. Something that he would like on his side, but not needed for it to work.

Having him on his side would earn him something, but letting him leave wouldn't cost him anything either. He could even use it as a bartering chip with the paladins- he freed their former red paladin, only he refused to come back with him. He didn't know if they'd buy it, but he wouldn't but it past Lotor to manufacture some proof.

But if he left, went to some remote planet, then that would be it. His involvement with this war would be done. He'd be effectively running away from the fight.

And that... now that it was presented to him as a real possibility, that didn't sit right with him. Sure, he hadn't signed up to fight the Galra Empire- he'd been kind of thrust into that, but he was a part of the fight now. He couldn't just run away from it.

Somewhere out there, Shiro and the other paladins were still fighting. He couldn't know that for sure- but Lotor spoke of them like they were still a factor, and on that count, at least, he was willing to believe him.

The fact that he bore Galra blood only made that more true. Like it or not, these were his people, just as much- if not more, now- as humans were. How could he just claim it wasn't his problem, while also trying to deny in the same breath that he was anything like them?

He could ask Lotor to drop him off on a populated planet, try and get into contact with a rebellion of some kind. They must exist- he didn't think Rolo had been lying when he claimed that he had once been a freedom fighter. Surely _they_ could get a message to Voltron. But even if he found them, and even if he got them to trust him, what would he even tell them?

That Zarkon had a son with some vague plan? That he wasn't to be trusted?

Anyone could tell them that.

No, he needed something concrete. Sure, Lotor _said_ that he sought peace, but did he really _mean_ that? And even if he did, what was he willing to do to get it?

He needed information.

And there was one way to get that.

Closing his eyes, Keith let his shoulders slump. Once again, he had no good options. It was either run away from the fight, hope for the best with rebels that may or may not exist, who may or may not kill him on sight, or become the enemy.

"...let me think about it."

"Of course," Lotor said, his voice as smooth as silk, as if he already knew what his answer was, "-take all the time you need."

* * *

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Keith rested his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. Acxa had lead him back to that same room- his _quarters_ \- after that, and had then left him there, alone.

He wasn't locked in. There was no guard posted at the door. If he wanted to make a break for it and run, now was his best chance.

But Lotor knew just as well as he did that he wasn't going to do that. He didn't _like_ the choice that was in front of him, but he had already decided on the answer. He just... he just needed some time to come to terms with it.

Because he knew what it meant.

It meant joining the Galra Empire. Maybe not under Zarkon's command, but that was still what this amounted to. The one thing he swore he would never do, he would now have to- if he wanted to get any answers, then he had no choice.

He would become the enemy.

Pulling his hands away from his face, he looked down at them. He already _looked_ like the enemy. Lotor was right about one thing, at least- there was no place in the universe he could go that would accept him like this.

At least this way... at least this way, he might be able to _do_ something. He didn't know what he could accomplish by himself, alone against a ten thousand year old behemoth, but it was better than rotting away in a cell, and better than running away.

Lying down on his side, he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the way his tail curled around his waist. Drawing in a long breath, he tried to remember what it was like to be _human_ \- and though it was faint, he could still dredge it up if he tried. Holding on to that, he let himself embrace it for as long as he could.

And then let it go.

If he chose this path, he couldn't guarantee that he would avoid confrontation with Voltron. With _Shiro_ , who was the closest thing he had to a family.

Thinking back to the fearful gazes that his once cellmates had given him, he couldn't help but imagine them on the faces of the team. Looking at him with horror, revulsion, rejection, _fear_ \- realizing that all along, they had been harboring the enemy in their midst, and hadn't even known it.

He let that go, too.

Opening his eyes, Keith pushed himself up. Unhooking the red bayard from his belt, he stared down at it, his grip on it tight enough that he was certain his knuckles were white underneath his fur. There was no getting around this- if he chose this path, it would mean betraying Voltron, even if just on the surface.

But he had to do it.

His bayard flashed underneath his hands, and with a gasp, he found himself letting it go. It clattered to the floor, and for the span of a moment, he was worried it had burned him, maybe in rejection- but no, his hand was fine.

The bayard was not.

It was still intact, but it's shape had changed. Warped, _distorted_ \- the white replaced by a dull gray, even the red turning darker, less vivid.

The color of dried blood, some morbid part of him supplied.

Drawing in a breath, Keith reached down to pick it up, rising to his feet as he did so. It didn't change shape again, not until he willed it to, transforming it into a sword. It's form had changed, much like that of the bayard itself, a dull gray that made it look more wicked.

In spite of himself, he let out a dry chuckle. A bayard fit for a traitor.

Closing his eyes, he returned the bayard to it's new default, hooking it back on his belt. For a moment, he caught himself thinking of Shiro, letting himself wonder if he would understand what he was doing, and why he was doing it.

Then he pushed it aside, opening his eyes.

Finding Lotor wasn't hard. He was right where he'd left him.

"Ah, Keith," Lotor glanced up at him- and he did not miss that this was the first time he had actually used his name, "-have you reached a decision?"

Locking eyes with the Galra prince, Keith buried the surge of guilt that came with his words.

"I'll do it."


	4. weblum

So what's up, here's chapter four! Since someone asked about it last chapter, I'll go ahead and specify that Allura was never captured in this AU- just Keith. Also maybe if you're going to ask me questions, try not to leave a guest review? Odds are I'll probably forget about answering it come next update, so it's just a lot easier to just sign in so I can talk to you directly. If you don't want to make an account for whatever reason, you can always just leave a comment on the AO3 version of the fic, which you don't need an account to do, and I can get back to you directly there!

As always, thanks for reading!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter four**

 **weblum**

* * *

He woke with a gasp, cold sweat clinging to his fur.

Slowly drawing in a long breath, he clutched at his sheets until he managed to steady himself. He had never been one prone to nightmares, but when he did have them, they were usually bad.

He'd had one after his father died, of the man he loved and admired choking on smoke, unable to find his way out. He'd woken feeling like he was unable to breathe, and it had haunted him for days afterwards. He didn't have one again for years after that, not until the day after the failure of the Kerberos mission was announced, watching Shiro and the crew of the shuttle going up in smoke, their screams going unheard in the vacuum of space.

He dreamed about Shiro again this time. Not the Shiro that had come back from Kerberos, scared and traumatized, but the Shiro from before, whole and intact.

He was back at the Garrison- just a first year cadet again. _Human_.

Shiro had called him a traitor, a _spy_. Blamed him for the failure of the Kerberos mission, for his abduction, for the abduction of Pidge's family. His words had stung like hot iron, more painful than the transformation that he endured for a second time in his dreams.

Not being able to feel pain in your dreams was a _goddamn lie_.

He remembered begging, _pleading_ , insisting that it wasn't true, even as his own body betrayed him- all while Shiro watched on with disgust. He'd been unable to tear his eyes away the entire time, and he could only be glad that he woke up when he had, fearing how the dream would end.

Exhaling, Keith fought the urge to roll over on his back. It wasn't impossible, but his tail made it a rather painful position to lie in. He had adapted to sleeping on his side, curled in on himself, trying to maintain as much warmth as possible, long before he'd even grown it, and it was a habit he kept now. There had been no blankets, no sheets in his cell- not even a cot.

Just cold, hard floor.

In contrast, the quarters that he had been given on Lotor's ship were a luxury. Pushing himself up, he pressed his hand against the soft material of the bed. It had been so strange to sleep in one again after so long, and on an enemy ship nonetheless- he thought for sure he'd never get to sleep. But no sooner than had he climbed into bed, had he drifted off.

Guess he was more tired than he thought.

Nightmare and all, he felt more well rested than he had been in ages. Getting to his feet, he felt his shoulders crack and pop as he stretched, for the briefest of moments, feeling vaguely normal.

Then his tail brushed against his legs, and the moment was gone.

Maybe there was some way to change him back, but he wasn't going to hold his breath for it. Staring down at his clawed hands, he hefted a sigh, balling them into fists, before he shook off the last traces of his nightmare.

He had been given armor yesterday, but he hadn't dared to put it on yet. Now he did, staring at his reflection in the mirror. No one would look at him now and think _paladin_ , that much was for sure.

Now he was a general of the Galra Empire. Not even someone of rank and file- but someone with authority, however much being a general of an exiled prince gave him. He didn't expect Lotor to hand over full authority to him immediately, but he sure had a hell of a lot more than he'd had just yesterday- which is to say, any at all.

Dream Shiro was right about one thing- he was a traitor.

But maybe he could use this to do some good. Pidge was still searching for her family, right? Maybe he could find them for her.

Maybe he could find his own mother.

Not that he'd know what to say to her even if he found her. He didn't even know what kind of person she was. Was she on the run from the Galra Empire? Was she a member of the rank and file that had a change of heart while on Earth? Was she even still alive?

Shaking off such thoughts, Keith ran a hand through his hair, frowning. Maybe he _would_ find a way to dye it- it bothered him that it was the same color as Lotor's, and the less he had in common with him, the better. He missed it being the same color as his father's.

Was there even hair dye in space?

He contemplated asking Ezor- she seemed friendly enough to answer, before he realized the obvious problem with that. As in, she had no hair. The only ones who did were Lotor and Acxa, and he wasn't about to ask either of them.

Grunting, Keith dropped his hand. Maybe he should just get used to this. Glowering at the Galra in the mirror, he folded his arms in front of him, tilting his head to one side. He never thought of himself as the type to spend so much time in front of one, but he'd never thought he was half alien either, so that was just his fucking life, he guessed.

He still couldn't decide if it was a good thing that he wasn't instantly recognizable or not. On one hand, it would make potentially crossing paths with the paladins easier, on the other, it made him feel like some kind of stranger.

Maybe he should just pick a Galra name and be done with it. Put his old life behind him.

But his _father_ had given him his name, and it was pretty much his last claim to his humanity, so he would hold on to it for as long as he could.

Slumping his shoulders, he heaved a sigh. The way his new armor fit him so well made his skin crawl. He looked like he _belonged_.

Which he guessed he did.

Hanging his head, he dropped his arms. This was ridiculous. He didn't even care about his appearance this much- who was he, _Lance_?

Might as well just get it over with. Rise and shine, face the fucking day. He was a part of the Galra Empire, and that was just his goddamn life now.

It was that thought that carried him out of his quarters, and to the bridge, where he assumed he would find _someone_. It and the hangar were the only places he knew how to get to anyways, so he might as well start there. It felt so strange, being given free access to the ship- he kept expecting the few sentries whose paths he crossed to stop him, but instead they just saluted as he passed, making his skin crawl.

Either that was their default, or Lotor had programmed that way on purpose, just to get under his skin. To remind him. He was doing a damn good job of it, if that was the case.

 _Speaking_ of Lotor, he found him on the bridge- alongside Ezor and Acxa, who seemed to be on complete opposites of the spectrum when it came to their reactions to seeing him. Ezor looked thrilled, and Acxa... Acxa did not. There were no signs of Narti, or the other one- the tall one, whose name he hadn't gotten yet.

"Ah, Keith." Glancing up from what appeared to be a star chart, Lotor nearly seemed to smile, and he felt his fur bristle at the sight of it, at the sound of his name on his lips. "I do hope the armor fits. It should, but there are defaults in the manufacturing process from time to time."

"It's fine." Keith told him, keeping his reply curt. There were no problems with the fit, almost like it had been made just for him. "What are you looking at?"

He didn't expect an answer, but to his surprise, Lotor gave him one. Right. He was his subordinate now. "We are attempting to track down a Weblum."

And he didn't know what that was.

Which must have been obvious, since Ezor all but jumped at the chance to explain. "It's a giant space worm that munches on dead planets!"

"...sounds pleasant." Keith observed, arching a brow.

"Yes, what Ezor said is true, if not a bit oversimplified." Lotor observed, merely quirking a brow. "The Weblum feed off the remains of dead planets, in order to convert them into pure quintessence, cleaning away debris and bringing new life in the areas through which they pass. They are a vital part of the universal ecosystem."

That sounded made up, but sure, okay.

"Hm," frowning, Keith folded his arms in front of his chest, "-so what do you need one for?"

"There is a mineral that can be found only within its third stomach." Lotor told him. "Scaultrite. It can be used for many things, but perhaps you would be most familiar with the fact that it can be used to create teleduv lenses, enabling wormholes to be formed."

Wormholes.

The Castle of Lions.

Huh, so that was how that worked. It... hadn't ever been something he thought to question, just chalking it up to more magic bullshit- which basically seemed to be what the castle-ship ran on, but he guessed there was an actual explanation behind the wormholes.

Granted, lenses made from a mineral found in the belly of a space worm didn't sound like the most scientific of explanations, so he guessed there was still a sizable amount of magic bullshit involved.

"Did the Altean princess never mention it to you?" Lotor asked.

Shrugging his shoulders, Keith brushed off the question. It didn't _sound_ like he was fishing for information, but the less the told him about the residents of the castle-ship, the better. "Never asked."

"Prince Lotor," Acxa spoke up, all but ignoring him, "-I will retrieve the scaultrite for you, and return without fail."

"Excellent." Lotor told her. "I have faith in you, Acxa. You may depart when ready."

Giving him a curt nod of her head, Acxa departed without another word. She did, however, stop for the span of a second to glare at him, a silent warning in her gaze. As he thought, she didn't like him- but the feeling was mutual.

He didn't exactly intend to become friendly with any of his fellow generals.

"Now then," Lotor spoke again, this time addressing him, "-you have yet to be shown around the ship, have you, Keith?"

Frowning, Keith shook his head. "Can't say that I have."

"Ezor," sparing the general a glance, "-help our latest recruit get his bearings. And perhaps a meal?"

 _Recruit_.

He _was_ trying to get under his skin.

"Play tour guide, got it!" Ezor nodded. "You're probably _starving_ by now, right? I bet they didn't feed you _anything_ good back at Central Command."

That was putting it one way. "It didn't kill me."

"Oh, funny!" Ezor grinned. "See? Isn't he funny, Lotor?"

Lotor merely arched a brow, not giving her any actual response. He let his gaze linger on him for half a second longer, before Ezor took him by the hand, nearly dragging him off the bridge. Grumbling, Keith snatched it back from her, tail lashing behind him.

"Testy." Ezor frowned. "And here I thought we would all get along, now that we're all on the same side."

Biting his tongue, Keith forced back a comment that he wasn't exactly looking to get friendly with the Galra- and that he _wasn't_ on the same side as them. He was on his own side. Right now, that was the only person he could trust.

Sensing that he wasn't going to give her a response, Ezor just shrugged. "Fine, suit yourself."

Falling into step behind her, Keith busied himself familiarizing himself with the layout of the ship. It wasn't as large as the Castle of Lions, but it seemed spacious enough. He found himself charting out escape routes as they went along, harder to do now that he was so much larger than he used to be.

No more slipping into vents for him.

"Where'd Lotor pick you up, anyways?"

He must have cut her off, because she glared at him for the span of a second- before rolling her eyes, just deciding to go with the flow. "He didn't _pick me up_ , he recruited me."

Arching a brow, Keith frowned. "Sounds like to me like the Empire doesn't take kindly to halfbreeds."

"Ugh, don't even get me started." Ezor told him. "It's all about the purity of the blood, or some other kind of nonsense. Anything that's not Galra is considered weak."

Yeah, he kind of figured. It wasn't hard to guess, from the way the spectators at the arena had cheered whenever they saw him get hurt. They wanted to see him fall, not win- he was just some rotten halfbreed to them, and a traitor at that.

"Too bad you ended up out here." Ezor told him. "Probably could have gone your entire life without knowing you were part Galra."

"Thanks for the reminder." Keith said dryly.

"But hey, at least you pass now!" Ezor noted.

He could almost feel his fur bristle at the comment, tail lashing behind him in irritation. Was that supposed to be a _good_ thing? "Fail to see how that does me any good."

"Trust me, in the Empire, it'll do you good." Ezor told him. "The more Galra you look, the easier you have it."

There was something in her tone that made him falter, if just for a moment. He had to wonder just how bad she'd had it before Lotor had picked her up- she barely looked Galra at all. It _almost_ made him look like a decent guy, recruiting halfbreeds to his cause, raising them up in rank.

But he knew better than to believe that.

Finding people who were desperate and exploiting them was what guys like that did. Lotor might claim that he didn't know about his captivity until recently, but it sure worked out well for him that he was as Galra as he was now. Meant he didn't have as many options, tipped his hand in favor of joining them.

Had he used similar tactics for the other four? Said all the right things, did everything right, earning their trust. Their loyalty. If things were as hard for half-Galra as Ezor seemed to imply they were, then there was probably no shortage of them to recruit.

If he were less paranoid, maybe he would have fallen for it. A fellow halfbreed, extending his hand in rescue, giving him a place, treating him like a person, not a prisoner.

"-and this is Zethrid!"

Keith snapped back to full attention the moment he realized he was being introduced to someone. They were in what functioned as the ship's training room- small, in comparison to the training deck back on the Castle of Lions, but still spacious enough.

Zethrid turned out to be the name of tall general.

Who was actually just as tall as he was, he noted dimly. That was a fact that he had trouble processing, so he simply decided not to. He'd always hoped for a growth spurt, but growing two whole feet? Yeah, not part of his plans.

Zethrid squared him up, clearly trying to decide if she liked him or not. He felt himself tense underneath her gaze, some part of his brain still supplying him with the fact that the was much smaller than her, even though that was now no longer true. He still hadn't fully adjusted to his new size, and he could only be grateful that everything around here had been built with Galra in mind, otherwise he was sure to be smacking his head on every low frame he passed.

"So you're the ex paladin, huh?" Zethrid asked.

"Yeah." Folding his arms in front of him, Keith locked eyes with her- damn easy to do, now that they were of a height. "Guess you could say that."

"His name is Keith!" Ezor chimed in. "But don't say it's weird, that makes him testy."

Keith shot her a look, which she faintly flinched at. "It's a human name."

"I mean, yeah, I kind of guessed, grumpypants," and his fur bristled at that comment, which doubtlessly had been her goal, "-it's just that most hybrids are given a new name when they enroll in military service."

"Not changing mine." Keith muttered, narrowing his eyes.

"Nobody said you had to, geez." Rolling her eyes, Ezor nudged her fellow general. "See? Doesn't he kind of remind you of Acxa, but like, grumpier?"

"Great, like we need two of them." Zethrid complained- to which he couldn't help but grumble. It was bad enough that he was being compared to another Galra, but _Acxa_? Out of all of Lotor's generals, he was pretty sure he'd have the least amount of trouble in not getting along with her.

He didn't like being compared to people he didn't like.

"I'm not like her." Keith snapped, baring his fangs without meaning to.

"More of a temper, though." Ezor noted, apparently indifferent to his display of aggression. "Guess being tossed around in the arena will do that to a guy."

Biting back a comment that he'd _always_ had a bit of a temper, Keith instead focused on calming himself. He had been haunted by his temper for most of his life, and now that he realized it might have been because of his Galra blood, he had been putting in more of an effort to try and reign it in.

Not that it had been going well. He didn't know if it was just because of his time as a prisoner, or the fact that he was more Galra now, but keeping it in check proved more difficult than it once had.

Temperamental. Violent. Aggressive.

All words he had been lumped with while in foster care. A problem child.

"So you're a fighter, huh?" Zethrid asked, suddenly sounding interested. "How about it? You want to have a go?"

"I'd rather not." Keith said shortly.

Clicking her tongue, it didn't take her long to switch gears into being disappointed. "You're no fun."

"Sorry for not being _entertaining_." Keith snapped, narrowing his eyes. "I didn't exactly like being put on display for sport."

"Hey, _nobody's_ saying you did." Ezor interjected, holding up her hands.

Gritting his teeth, Keith glowered at her for a second longer- before he jerked his head away. "If this tour's over, I'm done."

He didn't wait for her to give him a response, instead stalking away. He was starting to suspect that what he had pegged as being an awkward gait was actually just how he walked now, and tried to force himself out of it as best he could. It felt animalistic, like so much about him these days.

Dimly, he wondered if he could access his own files now. He put the idea on the backburner- he didn't know if he could handle going through them right now. Didn't want to see his transformation chronicled in dispassionate observations, like it wasn't causing him immense pain.

All he wanted, he thought, was to be _human_ again.

To go back to Earth, to go back to the Galaxy Garrison, to be the kid Shiro mentored again. He had never felt homesick, not once- not during his time on the Castle of Lions, and not during his time as a captive of the Galra Empire- but now? Now he felt it, so strong that it nearly made him forget how to breathe.

Now that he didn't have the option anymore, he longed for home.

So he forced the feelings down, resolving to live with the fallout of his choices. He was Galra now. There was no going back.

* * *

"We picked up a distress signal."

There was an uncomfortable echo to Lotor's words, that carried him back to his first- and only- rescue mission as a paladin of Voltron- and their subsequent detour. Shaking it off, Keith merely frowned at the prince, wondering why he was telling _him_ this.

It wasn't like he hadn't expected to be called on. Technically, he was working for Lotor now, and he knew that would come with duties. He just hadn't expected it to be so _soon_.

He barely had a day to settle in, adjust to his new role. He was still getting used to the new armor, to being _free_ \- to being able to go where he wanted, with no one trying to stop him. He had gotten his bearings in terms of the ship, but he hadn't expected to be put to work so soon, for some reason. Which in hindsight, was pretty stupid of him, he guessed.

But a distress signal?

Not what he had been expecting.

Bringing up a star chart, Lotor zeroed in on a set of coordinates. "The distress signal corresponded to Acxa's ship. It originated from this area, before it was cut off, and I lost track of it. Something must have happened to her ship."

Arching a brow, Keith narrowed his eyes. "So you're sending me on a rescue mission."

Meeting his eyes, Lotor didn't so much as blink. "Yes."

This was a test, he sensed. Maybe Acxa really was in danger, but this was still being used a test. It made his gut churn, the way he seemed to be using her loyalty to him- and if there was one thing he had been able to tell about her, it was that she as _painfully_ loyal. Maybe he didn't like her, but it was just another indication that Lotor was not who he presented himself as.

If he was really worried about her, he would be sending someone that he knew he could trust.

Instead he was sending _him_.

But this was what he had signed up for. And as far as a test of loyalty went, this one wasn't so bad. He didn't salute- he would never give him that- just inclined his head. "Understood."

"A fighter has been prepared for you in the hangar." Lotor told him. "I have taken the liberty of uploading all relevant data in regards to the Weblum onto it. They can be quite dangerous, so I would recommend that you go through as much of it as possible."

"If you locate Acxa, and she is unharmed, continue with the mission." Lotor instructed. "In order to bring peace, we _must_ obtain that scaultrite."

"Understood."

Turning sharply on his heel, Keith stalked out of the bridge. Even if it was just a rescue mission, following the orders of the Galra prince still made his skin crawl. But he knew that when he'd made this choice, he would have to live with that- no point in getting upset about it now.

As promised, there was a fighter waiting for him in the hangar. Much like everything else on the ship, it was not like the standard Galra fighters, as if Lotor was making it crystal clear that he did not consider himself the same as his father, doing away with all of his trappings.

Or almost all of it, he thought, his hand hovering over the emblem on his shoulder. Emblazoned there, just as with the others, was the mark of the Galra Empire, signifying that he was one of them.

Dropping his hand, he gave a curt nod to the sentry that waited by the ship, ignoring the way it saluted him, fist over where its heart would be, if it had one. The entire ship was crewed by them, he'd learned. Lotor didn't bring anyone on it that he didn't trust- excluding himself.

Lotor meant to earn his trust, he could sense that. But he would not allow himself to be manipulated. He hadn't back in foster care, hadn't back at the Garrison, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now.

It would be a cold day in hell before he willingly swore allegiance to Lotor.

Boarding the fighter, Keith felt himself exhale once he was within its confines. It had been prepared by Lotor, so he couldn't let himself relax too much, but it was nice to be by himself again. He hadn't been able to relax his guard in eight months- even for him, that was tiring.

Sliding into the pilot's seat, he studied the controls. They weren't the same as the red lion's, but he'd manage. He was just glad to finally get the chance to fly something again- it had been so long, and he had been yearning for it ever since.

Closing his eyes, he leaned back in the pilot's seat, his tail looping around his front, twining around his waist. Cracking an eye open, he glanced down at it with a slight frown. Sometimes it seemed to have a mind of its own, but it appeared to be fully prehensile, so once he got the hang of it, it might actually become useful.

It packed a lot of power- he'd seen that much in the arenas. A fifth limb, just as capable as the ones that he had been born with.

Focusing on the present, Keith gripped the controls, powering up the fighter. It flickered to life around him, drenching the cockpit in purple. He tried not to think on that.

Understanding the controls proved to be relatively simple. Even eight months out of practice, he hadn't been the best in his class for no reason. Shiro had once joked that piloting was in his blood- but he was starting to think that was no joke, just the truth. It wasn't like piloting skills were hereditary, but _reflexes_ were.

His had always been better.

Guess now he knew why.

He didn't like the way he found himself looking back on his childhood, second guessing everything. Things that used to make no sense to him did now, memories tainted, just like his blood. Even his father- his hero, didn't escape.

How could he have fallen in love with a Galra? Why didn't he tell him anything?

What would he think if he saw him now?

Breathing in, then out, he pushed aside such thoughts. "Patience yields focus."

Shiro's words.

Even at a time like this, they served to ground him. He had a mission, and he couldn't afford to lose sight of it. Bringing up the information that Lotor had gathered about the Weblum, he blinked, finding that it had already been translated into English.

It made his fur stand on end.

Just how much research had he done? There were hundreds of languages back on Earth, some just as dominant as English- and yet Lotor had pinpointed the right one. The translation was flawless too- every word he could understand, and if he ran into one that he couldn't, he just assumed it was some kind of name.

What did he _really_ want with him? With the paladins?

Maybe he'd already fallen into his trap.

Gritting his teeth, Keith pushed the thought from his mind. No. Lotor hadn't gotten what he wanted from him yet, that much he was sure of. Just swearing allegiance to him, even through grit teeth wouldn't get him much, except for maybe a bit of standing with the Galra Empire.

Taming the untamable, he thought to himself, letting out a faint snort. The ex-red paladin that even Haggar herself couldn't break, had now sworn his loyalty to him.

It was something- but he doubted that was the extent of Lotor's plans. Too simple.

If he wanted the red lion, he wouldn't get it, not from him. Even if his bond with it still existed, which he doubted, he would _never_ let it fall into Galra hands.

Even if those hands were those of his own.

* * *

So, everything he read about the Weblum was terrifying.

And Acxa had gone into one, _alone_? Well, he'd give her one thing- she definitely wasn't lacking in courage.

Bringing up the coordinates on the star chart, Keith narrowed his eyes. He seemed to be in about the right place- according to the intelligence Lotor had given him, the last signal from Acxa's ship had been sent from here. Frowning, he peered out of the cockpit, wondering for a brief second if he had wandered into an asteroid field of some kind.

Bringing up the star chart, his brows furrowed together. According to this, there was supposed to be some kind of planet here- _Xylaix_ , if he was reading this right. But all he could see around him were chunks of rock- nothing living, and certainly no planet.

There was something... unsettling about that. Everything he brought up indicated that Xylaix should still be thriving, yet he was pretty sure that the chunks of rock around him _were_ Xylaix- or what was left of it, at any rate.

He didn't have long to dwell on it, before he picked up another signal. Bringing it up, he felt himself frown. It seemed to be some kind of short range distress signal- probably Acxa.

Had her ship hit the rocks? No, if Lotor had sent her out here, then he must have known about Xylaix's condition. He wouldn't have sent someone out who couldn't fly through that. Maybe he didn't know a lot about him yet, but he was pretty sure that he wouldn't purposefully arrange for this, just to test him.

No, he'd probably chosen the best person for the job, so whatever happened, it probably wasn't any kind of collision. Bringing up the exact coordinates, Keith carefully brought the fighter closer to them, wondering what was out here that could have caused Acxa's ship to stop sending a signal.

His question was answered almost immediately.

He had been on a Balmera before, so the idea of giant animals somehow existing within space itself wasn't _that_ strange to him. But the Balmera had been petrified- it didn't move, even if it was still alive.

This?

This was something else.

Keeping a safe distance away from the Weblum, Keith brought up the coordinates again. The short range distress call was stronger than ever- in other words, Acxa was _inside_ this thing.

Just great. His first mission as the fucking enemy, and it involved saving someone he didn't even like from inside the belly of a giant, planet eating space worm. Because _of course_ it did.

At least he knew his way in. He wondered what had gone so wrong, that Acxa's ship had been swallowed by it, but whatever it was, he wasn't about to make that same mistake. Navigating his ship towards the Weblum from behind, Keith frowned, sorting through what he had read about it in order to determine the best angle of approach.

That's when he noticed it.

All at once, he felt his breath hitch in his throat. For a moment, it was like he couldn't even move, too fixed on the sight in front of him, like a ghost from the past.

The yellow lion.

 _Hunk_.

Wha- why was he here? Hunk _hated_ this sort of thing, what was he doing in the belly of a giant space worm? Had Lotor known about this? Was that why he had chosen him- to test whether or not he would stay loyal, even in the face of the paladins?

No, he didn't think Lotor knew about this.

Drawing in a long breath, Keith felt his grip on the controls tighten. This didn't change anything. Even if he was running into them way sooner than he anticipated, it didn't change the fact that right now, he had a mission.

And he wasn't one of them anymore.

It was a sobering thought, but no less true for it. He had given up the right to be a paladin of Voltron the moment he had accepted Lotor's offer, even if it had been under false pretenses. His bayard changing shape was proof enough of that.

He needed to find out more about Lotor. Until he did that, he couldn't leave.

Which brought up a new problem.

If Hunk was in the Weblum, and Acxa was in the Weblum, then what were the odds the two had crossed paths? Swearing underneath his breath, Keith wasted no time in gunning his fighter for the creature's blind spot, deploying hooks in order to land it on the beast. Once he was certain his ship was firmly in place, he tried to pinpoint the exact location of Acxa's distress signal.

It must have been coming from her armor. Which had to mean that she was at least alive- maybe.

Not that he cared too much if she lived or died, but if she died, it would probably be his job to collect the scaultrite. And anyways, he was more worried that she had done something to Hunk- which was his most pressing concern at the moment. Just because he wasn't a paladin anymore, didn't mean he wasn't allowed to worry about them.

And Hunk was like, the nicest of them. What if he'd tried to help her without realizing she was Galra?

Exiting his fighter, he perched atop the cockpit for a moment, getting his bearings. Acxa had given him a curt overview of the armor's functions when she'd thrust it at him the other day, and it seemed to function a lot like paladin armor. There was a mini-computer installed in the gauntlet, which he brought up, confirming Acxa's location, before he headed out.

The thrusters on this armor were located on the legs, which was a change. It took him a second to balance himself, his tail coiling itself around his waist. He paused for a moment, looking towards the yellow lion, before he tore his gaze away.

If anyone was still in there, a fighter landing next to it would have probably drawn them out.

God, he couldn't believe he was headed into the belly of a disgusting space worm to rescue a Galra. He couldn't believe _Hunk_ was here, inside a disgusting space worm. How had he even been talked into that?

Almost as soon as he entered the Weblum, there was a crackle of static in his helmet. It must have been Acxa- their communications must have been disrupted by the Weblum itself.

He doubted she'd be thrilled to hear _he'd_ been sent to rescue her.

He thought he could make out the faint sound of breathing on the other end- as well as the sound of someone else's voice. Frowning, his brows furrowed in concentration, trying to pick up on it. He must have been picking up on the coms from her ship as well, which explained the strange distortion he was getting.

"-ship into a bomb?"

That... wasn't Hunk's voice.

It was Lance.

Great. So. Lance _and_ Hunk were here. Made sense, this didn't seem like the kind of mission that Shiro would send a single paladin on. It brought a faint smile to his lips- but he didn't let it linger, instead squaring his focus on the task at hand.

Acxa. The paladins. Scaultrite.

There was a huge burst of feedback, just as he entered the first stomach. Groaning, he felt his ears flatten, trying to escape the sudden loud burst of sound, made all the worse by the enclosed space of his helmet, and his increased hearing. It took him a second to realize that it wasn't just because he was unsteady on his feet that the ground underneath him was pitching- but that the Weblum was reacting, violently, to something.

Something like a ship exploding.

With Lance in the vicinity.

Feeling a spike of panic, he brought up Acxa's coordinates again. The distress signal was still emanating from her suit, which he hoped was a good sign. Comparing it to the internal map that he'd downloaded of the Weblum's organs, he figured out where he needed to be heading to intercept her.

He spotted them first.

Lance still seemed to be alive, which was always a plus. Hunk was nowhere to be seen, which worried him, but he had no reason to assume that he wasn't okay. Maybe he was just in some other part of the Weblum.

He tried not to think about how this was the first time he'd seen another human in eight months. Tried not to think about how his armor suddenly felt too tight on him, like it was tearing into his flesh.

Patience yields focus.

Lance seemed... well, he guessed. He'd never been great at determining that sort of thing, and his vantage point wasn't the best. But he was running his mouth, so he must have at least been somewhat okay- even if he could almost feel Acxa's exasperation from up here.

Huh. For once, he almost thought he could relate to her.

Lance had kind of grown on him during his brief time as a paladin, but he still couldn't help but feel like he'd be improved by some kind of an _off_ switch.

So, two choices- stalk them silently and hope nothing went wrong, or present himself to them, and actively prevent anything from going wrong.

In other words- hide like a coward because he couldn't face Lance and _maybe_ get him killed, or not do that, and ensure that he made it through this alive. Yeah,pretty much a no brainier. Besides, with his helmet enclosed and darkened as it was, there was no way Lance- or Hunk- would recognize him.

Just so long as he didn't open his mouth.

Drawing in a long breath, Keith uncurled his tail from around his waist. He wasn't Keith Kogane, red paladin of Voltron, any longer- he was a general of the Galra Empire, serving under Prince Lotor.

Time to face the enemy.


	5. bitter

Chapter five is here! And so is Hunk! So, who is ready for season seven at the end of the week? Friday! The big day! It feels like just yesterday we got season six... But more to the point, as always, thanks for sticking around and reading my stuff! Always good to see you guys.

Until next time!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter five**

 **bitter**

* * *

His knife was too recognizable, so he concealed it in his armor. His bayard would be fine, as long as he didn't use it- its shape had changed so much, that as long as he didn't draw attention to it, they probably wouldn't even notice it _was_ the red bayard.

Which left him without a weapon.

Eh, he'd deal with that if it came to it.

He probably should be less indifferent about the idea of going without a weapon, but he hadn't spent countless months fighting unarmed against all manner of creature in the arena to balk at the idea now. Whatever this Weblum threw at him, he could take it.

Besides, he knew Hunk and Lance- well enough to know that neither of them were very good at close range combat. Not that he _wanted_ to fight them, but if push came to shove, he might need to. Better he do it than Acxa, who he couldn't imagine would show them mercy.

Even if he wasn't totally confident that he could control his own strength. That was just another item on the growing list of things that he would just have to get used to.

Acxa took notice of him first, stilling. Lance took notice of that first, tensing, as if he thought there was another threat- and he could have sworn that he'd paled underneath his visor the moment he'd caught sight of him.

Oh. Right. He was technically a threat.

"Wha- there's more of you!?" Lance blurted out, frantically looking between him and Acxa, hand twitching, as if he was considering summoning his bayard. She still had her weapon, so either Lance hadn't thought to take it from her, or she'd taken it back from him.

"What," she hissed, her voice low enough that it must have been a whisper, "-are _you_ doing here?"

Narrowing his eyes, Keith's gaze flickered briefly over towards Lance, before he fixed his attention back on Acxa. He looked like he was still too busy processing the fact that there were currently _two_ Galra here, to notice that they were talking to each other.

Without thinking about it, he folded his arms in front of him. He kept his own voice low, just as Acxa had, depending on the internal coms of their helmets to convey his words to her. He wasn't going to gamble on his voice having changed enough to render it unrecognizable. It was one of the few things about him that had remained unaffected by his transformation.

"Lotor sent me."

Tilting her chin up, he didn't need to see her face to know that her lips were set in a tight frown. "Why would Lotor send _you_?"

She wasn't stupid, he recognized that. She knew why Lotor had sent him- she just wanted to hear it from him. "Ask him."

That wasn't the answer she wanted, but it was all she was going to get.

Besides, he should probably throw Lance some kind of bone right about now. Unfolding his arms, he held them up, hoping that it came across as what he intended it to be- the universal gesture of _I mean you no harm_.

Lance didn't quite seem like he was buying it, not that he could blame him. This close to him, he could size up just how much he had grown- where he'd used to be a handful of inches shorter than Lance, he now loomed over him. There was some tiny part of him that actually managed to feel smug about it, but the rest of him was busy trying to process the fact that he now barely skirted his chest.

If Lance was this short next to him, he couldn't imagine how _Shiro_ would stack up. He couldn't even fathom being taller than him, even though he knew that had to be true.

"So what," Lance began, in that tone of his he got whenever he thought he was about to say something clever, "-planets not enough for you now? Because let me tell you- if you're trying to conquer the insides of a giant space worm, you can have it."

Acxa groaned.

Keith just tried to bite back a laugh.

He _had_ been away for awhile, if he actually thought that was funny. Guess he had missed Lance's dumb jokes more than he'd thought.

Narrowing his eyes, he brushed off the thought. The last thing he could afford to be right now was sentimental. He was just grateful that his visor obscured his face, but the same couldn't be said for his tail- if he didn't keep it under control, it would just give away whatever he was feeling.

"...guessing neither of you are big on talking, then." Lance frowned. "Right, well- I'm not wild about hanging around a pair of Galra soldiers, but I guess we're all stuck in a disgusting space worm together, so... truce?"

 _Galra soldier_. Hearing Lance refer to him that way stung, but he tried not to let it get to him. It was the truth, after all.

Acxa just gave Lance a curt nod of her head- who then fixed his attention on him. He flinched a little at the scrutiny, unable to shake the feeling that he could see right through him, but he still managed to give him a curt nod of his own.

He couldn't, he knew. He was just being paranoid.

Clapping his hands, Lance looked between them. "Right! Okay. So- you don't shoot me, and I don't shoot you. Sounds like a plan."

Fighting the urge to snort, Keith just nodded. He hadn't dared to ask Lotor about the status of Voltron, so it was good to see that Lance hadn't changed. It wasn't like he'd thought his disappearance would have had much impact on him, given that the guy didn't even seem to like him, but it was nice to see it for himself.

"So," Lance began, "-I don't suppose either of you knows where this third stomach is?"

Arching a brow, Keith frowned. Did he seriously come in here without knowing that?

What was he even _doing_ here anyways? Lotor had mentioned something about scaultrite being used to make teleduv lenses- did they need more for the Castle of Lions or something? The ship _was_ ten thousand years old, it wasn't hard to imagine that it would be breaking down in some places.

The idea that the castle-ship might be without the ability to wormhole did not sit easy with him.

Best to maybe hurry them along then.

Bringing up the map of the Weblum's internal organs that he had been given on his gauntlet, he flinched a little as he noticed that it was still in English. With a quick brush of his fingers, he translated it back into Galran, hoping that Lance hadn't noticed. The blue paladin didn't so much as blink, so maybe he hadn't.

With a jerk of his head, he indicated the direction, catching Lance's eye. He took one look at him, then one look at the glowing map emitting from his gauntlet, before he shrugged his shoulders. He clearly wasn't thrilled about taking directions from a Galra, but it was all he had to go on at the moment, and well- beggars couldn't be choosers.

Not a bad adage for him, at the moment.

The thought brought with it a faint edge of bitterness- which he quickly fought back. As much as he knew that they had done the right thing, there was still some small, tiny part of him that resented the fact that they hadn't come to rescue him. He didn't usually listen to it, couldn't afford to give into that line of thinking, not when it was what Haggar wanted. But he couldn't deny it was _there_.

The paladins had _abandoned_ him, it whispered, whenever he left his guard down long enough to let it. They were the reason that he had become like this, just as much as Haggar was.

He knew it wasn't true. It was just one of those intrusive thoughts. With Shiro in command, they probably _had_ looked for him- either they hadn't been able to find him, or they had decided that the risk of assaulting Central Command to rescue a single person was too high. Shiro might want to, but Allura would never allow it.

He wondered if she knew.

About him, about what he was- half-Galra, even before he had. The Castle had scanned them when they'd come in, right? Something like being half-Galra sounded like the kind of thing that would come up.

He quickly dismissed the idea. Given the way he'd heard Allura speak of the Galra, he doubted she would have let him pilot her father's lion, much less live in the Castle with them if she knew. Not that he'd blame her- after everything the Galra had done to her, it was remarkable she didn't just try to shoot them on sight.

He wondered if maybe she was flying the red lion now.

That thought settled in his stomach with a note of bitterness as well, but he tried not to dwell on it. Good- if they had been able to find a new paladin that easily, then as far as he was concerned, that was a good thing. Besides, Allura deserved it- after losing her father for a second time after Sendak's Galra crystal had infected the system, being able to follow in her father's footsteps and fly his lion could only be a good thing for her.

Him flying it in the first place had probably just been a mistake.

It hadn't connected with him right away, not like the others had with theirs. Even the black lion accepted Shiro faster. He should just feel grateful that he'd been able to fly it at all. It was an experience he would never be able to forget, much as part of him almost wanted to.

"I take it Lotor got my distress signal."

Acxa's voice, crackling over the coms, broke him from his thoughts. Casting a glance towards her, he frowned. She was still keeping her voice too low for Lance to hear her- probably didn't want to let him know anything about her- or more importantly, who she served.

Being so close, yet being unable to tell him anything was gnawing at him. If he just opened his mouth, just _said_ something, gave him some indication that Zarkon had a son, he could help the paladin cause immensely. But he couldn't do that without exposing himself, or at the very least, raising questions- ones that he'd rather not answer.

So he stayed silent.

He'd find another way to tell them. Just- not here.

He merely gave Acxa the faintest shrug of his shoulders, keeping his own voice low, reserved for the internal coms. "What happened to your ship?"

"It's gone." Acxa told him- and he got the feeling that was all he'd get from her. "I trust yours isn't."

"Getting swallowed by a giant space worm isn't exactly my idea of fun, so yeah, it's fine." Keith told her.

He felt, rather than saw, the glare she sent his way, but he ignored it. Gaze flickering back towards Lance, he noticed that he at least had the sense to keep them both within his line of sight. It was clear that he didn't really trust either of them, but he wasn't exactly about to attack them when neither had made a move yet to attack him.

Finding the third stomach wasn't hard, just gross- but that pretty much applied to everything here. It was a good thing he had a strong stomach. Speaking of which- by the time they got there, Hunk was already waiting for them.

Not _them_ , he reminded himself. Just for Lance.

Still, it was nice to see him again. Like Lance, he seemed to be doing well- even if he did look a little on the nauseous side when he first spotted him. Not that he could blame him- again, _disgusting space worm_. He literally could not emphasize that point enough. It was all he could do to keep his tail curled around his waist, and hope that it didn't brush up against any of the Weblum's innards, even if it did make his balance a bit touch and go.

And the way it smelled in here? The less said about that, the better. He didn't know how it Acxa seemed so unbothered by it, but he had to remind himself that his sense of smell was probably better than most other Galra. He wasn't sure _why_ that was, just that it was likely the truth.

Hunk, to say the least, was very surprised to find that Lance wasn't alone.

"Uh, Lance?" Hunk asked. "Did you make some friends?"

"Well, I wouldn't call them my _friends_ , exactly," Lance began, "-the short one I found trapped in a ship in some part of the Weblum, and the tall one," and chalk some points up for how surreal that statement was for him to hear in reference to himself, "-found us. They don't exactly talk much."

"Also, I'm pretty sure they're both Galra."

He could feel Hunk's eyes on him- on them both, really- at that statement. He looked alarmed, _tense_ , even. Not that he could blame him. He'd no reason to think of the Galra as being anything but the enemy.

"Uh, Lance?" Hunk leaned in are. "Are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe now's not the best time to be rescuing Galra soldiers."

"Hey, it's cool." Lance told him. "We have a truce going on."

Hunk still didn't look convinced, but he wasn't about to go against what his friend said. From what he'd been able to gather during his time on the Castle, the pair of them either had been good friends before the Garrison, or they had just gotten really close after they'd enrolled as first year cadets. He wasn't actually sure which, he just knew that they were close enough that Hunk listened to Lance more often than not.

Besides, Hunk wasn't the kind of guy to attack someone for no reason.

"I mean, if you say so..." Hunk trailed off, frowning.

"Hunk, buddy, pal- when have I ever steered you wrong?" Lance asked, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want the list?" Hunk asked. "Because I left the powerpoint presentation back home."

Keith had to choke on his own laugh to keep it from bubbling out. As it was, Acxa eyed him, so he'd doubtlessly produced _some_ kind of sound. He didn't get much of a chance to question it, before company arrived- and not the good kind.

Based on what he'd read, these were some kind of bacteria that served to break down the Weblum's food. And right now, _they_ were the food. Uncoiling his tail from around his waist, he tensed, readying himself. He couldn't draw his bayard or pull out his knife, so he'd just have to go with this.

"Oh man, not _these_ things again!" Lance whined. "I thought we shook them all off when we left the first stomach!"

"Guess not." Hunk grunted, summoning his bayard with a flash- something which caused him a pang. Lance did the same barely a half second later, and he tried not to think about how warped his own had become, how it felt like a heavy weight hanging off his belt.

Neither of them had paid much attention to it, but he was pretty sure that if he used it as a bayard, they'd notice. He didn't know about Lance, but Hunk wasn't stupid- he'd put two and two together pretty quick.

He probably would not be happy to see a Galra carrying the red paladin's weapon. Probably think he'd stolen it or something- maybe try to press him for answers as to where its real owner was, blissfully unaware that he'd be asking that _of_ its real owner. As it was, he'd probably notice that he had some kind of weapon that he was opting not to use, but that might not occur to him until _after_ the fact, which as far as he was concerned, was fine.

He'd just rather not be there when the connection was made.

Behind him, he could hear Acxa cocking her pistol, the whirr of it catching his ears. His tail thrashing behind him, he tried to ignore the sound of his own blood pumping in his ears, like he was itching for this fight.

He couldn't tell if he was that way now because of his transformation, or just because of his time in the arena- maybe even both. He didn't want to think about it. The less he thought about how his mind might have changed, the better- he was struggling enough just with the changes to his body.

Between his tail and his claws, he was hardly defenseless. His tail lashed out at anything coming from behind, and anything that came from the front, his claws could deal with. The creatures seemed to leak some kind of acid when they were destroyed, but the hide of his tail was thick, and the armor was sturdy enough that it wouldn't be a problem.

His claws let him dig into the Weblum itself- handy, when it decided it was going to try and eject the contents of its third stomach. He heard Hunk say something about _farting_ , before laughing about it.

He could have sworn he'd heard Acxa mutter something under her breath, but whatever it was, it was too low for even the coms to pick up on. Whatever it was, she sounded pretty disgruntled.

At least it gave them a small bit of respite. If he didn't know any better, he'd say Hunk and Lance had both forgotten about them, listening with one ear as they discussed their next move.

"Once they get the scaultrite," Acxa's voice crackled low over the coms, "-we'll collect some for ourselves. I trust you don't have a problem with that."

It didn't take a genius to figure out that by _collect some_ , she meant _steal_ some. Gritting his teeth, Keith felt himself tense- and not just because another wave of those creatures was forming, readying themselves for another attack.

"Understood."

She eyed him for a moment longer- before she accepted that. She didn't have much of a choice in the matter, since the creatures didn't seem to want to let up. At least from the sound of it, Hunk and Lance had formed some kind of plan.

"You three stay here and collect the scaultrite."

 _Three_. Blinking, Keith jerked his head up, watching as Hunk used the thrusters on his paladin armor to make his way towards where the gas was being expelled. He had said it so easily, as if for a moment, he'd forgotten that they were supposed to be enemies here.

He wasn't sure he liked the way that made him feel.

Whatever Hunk left to do, it seemed to work. He tried not to laugh at the faint _eep_ Lance let escape when he realized that he _probably_ shouldn't be here at this exact moment, and failed- but thankfully, he was too far away to hear. Acxa noticed, but she chose not to say anything.

They managed to get to safety before the third stomach charged up with blue light, but even with the armor, he could still feel it on his skin, hot and searing. Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out Lance crouching behind his shield across the way, confirming that he was safe.

When the blue light cleared, it left scaultrite behind.

Exhaling, Keith felt his shoulders slump, before he turned to look at Acxa. With Lance too far away to hear, he chanced speaking in normal tones, sick of whispering. "I'll help you take the scaultrite, so long as he leaves here alive."

Acxa took his words as an accusation. "He freed me from my ship. I'm not about to kill my rescuer."

Huh. Not the answer he'd expected.

Guess even the Galra had some concept of gratitude. Either that, or she was just smart enough to know that killing one of his former teammates in front of him was not going to do anything to win him points with Lotor.

It would probably be to the prince's advantage if he let them live anyways. He'd openly admitted to desiring the Galra throne- what better way to seize it than to just let Voltron finish his father off for him?

Lance was too busy collecting the scaultrite to pay them much mind- and he was gathering a ton of the stuff. Narrowing his eyes, Keith frowned- he didn't think the castle-ship was in such bad condition, that it would need all of this. Maybe they were gathering it for something else- Lotor did say that it had a variety of uses.

At least this way, he wouldn't feel too bad about taking one or two bags from him, seeing as he was taking so much of the stuff. While Lance wasn't looking, he hoisted one over his shoulder, watching out of the corner of her eye as Acxa did the same- before she lifted her pistol, letting the whirr of its charge catch the blue paladin's attention.

He felt himself seize up at the sight of it. He knew what she'd just said, but what if...

"Wha-" Lance sputtered, eyes wide. "I thought we had a deal!"

Signaling at him to go with her head, Keith frowned. He didn't want to leave her here with Lance, but when it became clear that she intended to follow right behind him, he complied.

Lance, he could tell, was not happy.

* * *

Lance was _definitely_ not happy.

Hunk might be the one flying the lion, but Keith could tell that much just from the fact that they were chasing them in the first place. Left to his own devices, he seriously doubted that Hunk would have bothered with pursuit, so the one goading him on _had_ to be Lance.

Narrowing her eyes, Acxa glowered at him, as if this was somehow _his_ fault. _He_ wasn't the one who had gotten his ship swallowed by a Weblum- if they were in this mess, they were in it because of her.

A stray shot whizzed past them, causing Keith to grit his teeth. He had no intention of returning fire, but losing them would be a heck of a lot easier if he was more familiar with these controls. As it was, he was piloting them with a handicap- one less finger on each hand, which made a trick of it.

But fine. Piloting had always been the one thing he was good at, so he'd just have to get used to them- and fast.

"Move, let me handle this." Acxa demanded.

What, and put her in a position to shoot back? Whatever gratitude she might have towards Lance for saving her, it was clearly gone now. He was not giving up these controls.

"I know how Hunk flies." Keith told her. "I can lose him."

"You had better." Acxa told him. "If you don't get far enough away before you make the jump to hyperspace, they could follow our trail straight back to Lotor."

There was an underlying accusation to her words, as if he had somehow _planned_ all of this. It made him want to roll his eyes, not that it would have much effect. He hadn't even known the two of them would be there when he'd left- if there was anyone to blame for this, it was _Lotor_.

Though he doubted even Lotor could have predicted that the paladins would be needing scaultrite from that exact Weblum at this exact time.

He didn't even know what Lance's plan here was. If they blew them out of the sky, it wasn't like they'd get their scaultrite back. Judging from how much they were gathering, he doubted they needed what they'd taken either.

No, this was just Lance, holding a grudge.

Good to know he hadn't changed.

(Huh. He actually meant that.)

No offense to Hunk, but he was the worst pilot out of the paladins. It wasn't an insult- he hadn't known the first thing about flying before becoming a paladin, so if anything, it was to be expected. Even if he wasn't, he was still confident that he could outrun any of the paladins.

Except for maybe Shiro.

Shiro... Shiro would be a challenge.

Keeping an eye out for the location of the yellow lion, he dodged another blast of laser fire. Hunk was weak to unexpected maneuvers, and while Lance was better at dealing with them, he wasn't the one at he controls. If anything, he was pretty sure that right about now, he was trying to backseat fly, causing Hunk no small amount of distraction.

He, meanwhile, had just about gotten a full grasp on these controls.

Time to make his exit.

Throwing the controls into reverse, he flew back full speed, until he came up behind the yellow lion. In the time in which it took for Hunk to process what had just happened, he'd already moved the controls up, flying away from the yellow lion in a burst of speed.

The fighters Lotor had in his service didn't just _look_ different from the standard Galra fighters- they _were_ different. Maybe it wasn't quite as fast as the red lion, but this thing had some serious speed on it, when it got the chance to build it up properly. A slow lion like the yellow lion would never be able to catch up once it got going.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Acxa put in the coordinates for the hyperspace jump. Once he was sure there was enough distance between the two of them, he made the jump, leaving the yellow lion- and Hunk and Lance- behind in the dust.

He tried not to think about it.

Leaning back in his chair, Keith let out a long breath, closing his eyes for just a moment. He'd need another shower after all that- he swore he could still feel Weblum guts clinging to him. He could feel Acxa's eyes on him, but he ignored them for now.

Or tried to, at any rate. He knew he'd been accused of having an intense stare in the past, but he'd never understood what people meant by that. If this was what they had, then he was starting to understand why he had creeped people out so much as a child.

He tried not to think about how this might mean that was a Galra thing too.

Cracking one eye open, Keith frowned. "What?"

"You didn't use your bayard." She observed.

Frowning, Keith opened his other eye. "Figured it wouldn't end well."

"You didn't use your knife, either." Acxa added.

Expression faltering, Keith reached into his armor, retrieving it from where he had hidden it. "I can fight how I want."

Acxa merely frowned, but turned away from him. Turning his knife over in his hands, clawed fingers traced the wrapped hilt, before he let out the faintest of sighs, hooking it back on his belt. She knew damn well why he hadn't done either of those things, so he didn't see why she needed to bring it up.

He imagined word would leak eventually. The more time he spent in this role, the higher the odds went up. Wars bred rumors- and something like the heir of the Galra Empire having the former red paladin swear his allegiance to him was bound to spread at some point.

But it wasn't like he wanted to rush to that conclusion.

He knew it would hurt Shiro. The rest of the team... he didn't know. Betrayed, maybe. None of them knew him well enough to really be _hurt_ by it.

If they hated him for it, maybe that would make things easier for him.

* * *

Letting out a loud groan, Lance sunk to the floor.

"Aw man," Lance whined, "-we're going to have to tell Allura that we let a pair of Galra escape with two bags of scaultrite."

"Hey, just for the record," Hunk began, "-I told you this was probably a bad idea."

Glancing up at his friend, Lance gave him a tight frown. "You literally told the three of us to stay behind and collect the scaultrite."

"Yeah, but that was in the heat of the moment." Hunk told him- before realizing that he had a point, hefting a sigh. "Yeah, okay, fine- you got me. I just figured that if they were going to try anything, they would have done it before now."

"You and me both, buddy." Lance told him. "Guess the Blade of Marmora really are just the exception."

"Yeah, guess so." Hunk frowned. "So what are we going to tell Shiro and Allura? I mean- we don't have to tell them, do we? We got enough scaultrite, right?"

"As tempting as that sounds, I think we do." Lance told him. "I've never seen that kind of armor before- or that kind of fighter. That alone is worth reporting."

"Hm, yeah, you've got a point." Hunk said. "Who do you think they were? They clearly weren't your normal foot soldiers. And what do you think they were even _doing_ there?"

"Same as us, buddy." Lance told him. "Question is, what did they want that scaultrite for?"

"Maybe they just really need some anti-fungal cream?" Hunk asked. "I mean, it doesn't _have_ to be for teleduv lenses."

Rolling his eyes, Lance just lightly hit his head against the wall. This was his screw up- he never should have trusted those two. He wasn't even sure why he had. "You heard what Allura said. Only Alteans can use the teleduv."

"Oh. Right." Hunk frowned. "Guess it has to be for something else then."

"Well, whatever it is, we'll just have to strike first then." Lance said. "Once we take out Zarkon, the Galra won't have a chance to do anything else."

"Yeah, yeah, that's true." Hunk nodded. "I'm just worried about the princess."

Yeah. He was worried about her too. This plan they had... it sounded like it could really do it, but so much of it hinged on Allura- not only would she have to operate the giant teleduv, she'd have to jump right into flying the red lion and forming Voltron immediately afterwards. She'd barely have any time to rest.

They'd all seen what she could do on the Balmera, but that didn't mean she was invincible. It had taken her a full week to recover after that- he couldn't imagine how much longer it would take her to recuperate after this.

"You don't think the Blade of Marmora has someone floating around that we could use as a temporary red paladin, do you?" Lance asked. "Or like- maybe they know where Keith is."

Just _mentioning_ Keith left a heavy air within the lion.

Of course it did. It had been eight months- over _half a year_ \- since he'd vanished. Pidge had gone to extract him, only to find an empty room- no Keith, no scary druid guy, and no sign of what could have happened to him.

He was just... _gone_.

"I'm pretty sure if they knew where Keith was, we'd be on a rescue mission right now." Hunk pointed out. "It's like he just vanished into thin air."

"Maybe the druid really did vaporize him." Lance said.

"I mean... it took Shiro a year to get back to Earth after he'd been captured by the Galra, right?" Hunk ventured. "And it's not like Pidge has turned up anything in her search for her family either, so... maybe it's just not that easy to find people out here. Space is pretty big."

"Yeah, guess you're right." Lance said, pushing himself to his feet. "Once we rescue him, I hope he appreciates just how much time I spent worrying about his butt."

Nodding his head, Hunk looked like he was about to say something else- before he got cut off by a sudden incoming message from Allura. Apparently that monster they had fought back on the Balmera had come back to life, and she needed help.

Ugh. That thing had been bad enough the first time around, he didn't even want to think about fighting it a second time.

Right. Worry later. Kick butt now.


	6. paladins

What's this? Oh, it's the next chapter! Time to check up on our paladins, see how those fellas are doing. Hint: not as well as they could! That's what happens when you let your red paladin be kidnapped by scary druids. You gotta stop em from wandering off! Who knows what trouble they could get into on their own! As always, thanks for reading, and until next time~!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter six**

 **paladins**

* * *

"You are short two bags of scaultrite."

 _And_ there it was. For all his big words back in the yellow lion, he'd honestly been hoping that Allura wouldn't notice. Letting the Galra get away with two bags of the stuff had been a huge blunder on his part, there was no getting around that.

"We uh, had company." Lance told her. "Galra company."

That's where Allura's expression turned from that of a slight frown to being outright alarmed. Not that he could blame her. Heck, he was still surprised he was alive to tell the tale.

They could have just as easily shot him and left, but they didn't.

Which, now that he thought about it? Kind of weird.

Didn't make him any less pissed, though. Maybe they hadn't tried to kill him, but they'd still turned on him. And he'd saved them! Or well, one of them. He was guessing that second Galra was the first Galra's rescue party, since he had a ship of his own ready.

"Are you unhurt?" Allura inquired, visibly checking him over for injuries, before doing the same with Hunk.

"We're fine!" Lance was quick to say. "They just took the bags and left."

"Is- is this going to be a problem?" Hunk asked. "I mean, I know you said that we needed a lot of the stuff, but-"

"It should be fine."

It wasn't Allura that spoke, but Kolivan. He'd been silent up until this point, so he'd almost kind of forgotten he was there. Maybe he didn't loom over him the same way that _Antok_ guy did, but he was still pretty huge, so that was kind of impressive in its own right. The second Galra from the Weblum, the taller one- he was probably just a bit shorter than Kolivan, now that he thought about it.

"We have some reserves of scaultrite in our stores." Kolivan informed them. "Not enough to build the teleduv with, but enough to make up for the difference."

Reminded of his presence, Allura grew more stiff, business-like. She'd accepted the alliance with the Blade of Marmora in the end, but he was pretty sure she still wasn't thrilled about the idea. But if that was what it took to defeat Zarkon, then she would accept working together with the Galra, as much as it seemed she didn't want to.

He could sort of understand her hesitance. Shiro had vouched for them, ever since they'd met Ulaz, but he didn't really know. On one hand, this all seemed way too complex for some kind of trap, on the other hand...

...well, he'd trusted the Galra in the Weblum too, sort of. And look how _that_ turned out.

"Good." Allura told him, her tone curt. "You and Hunk did well, Lance."

"Why thank you, princess." Lance winked, causing Allura to groan- but at least she relaxed a bit. This whole plan had her tense.

It wasn't just her either. Shiro was pretty wound up too.

 _Had_ been pretty wound up, actually, for awhile now. It was really just Allura who had changed.

He'd taken Keith's disappearance hard.

He hadn't realized just how close the two of them were until he was gone. Until he watched Shiro break down in what he thought was private, but wasn't. He'd never brought it up to him, unsure of how to approach it, and he'd seemed fine after that, but it wasn't a sight Lance was about to forget.

That was five months ago.

Since then, Shiro had all but thrown himself into his duties as a paladin, like he was using them as some kind of a distraction. No, he was _definitely_ using them as some kind of a distraction.

What time he didn't spend serving as the leader of Voltron, he spent looking for Keith. But without any clues to go off of, actually _finding_ him had proved to be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

A very large haystack.

"Oh thank god." Hunk said, heaving a sigh of relief. "Sorry princess, it's just I'd rather not have to go back into one of those things if I can help it. It was _not_ fun."

Letting out a soft laugh at that, Allura merely smiled. "I suppose it is not. However, I must ask about these Galra who stole the scaultrite from you."

"I'm curious as well." Kolivan noted.

"Uh well, they weren't foot soldiers, I can tell you that much." Lance told them, frowning. "I didn't recognize their armor or their ships."

"But you're certain they were Galra?" Allura asked.

"They both had the insignia of the Galra Empire on their armor." Lance said. "So yeah, I'm pretty sure."

"They weren't exactly chatty." Hunk told her. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't hear them say a single word while I was there. Lance?"

Shaking his head, his frown just deepened. "Not a thing."

"You know," Hunk said, "-the yellow lion might still have a visual of their ship."

Beaming, Allura looked pleased. "Good thinking, Hunk. Why don't you see if you can't put it into the castle-ship's systems? Maybe one of us can identify it."

Kolivan merely gave them a curt nod, but didn't otherwise say anything. He looked... contemplative, maybe? He couldn't really say for sure- reading Galra was hard.

"Right, got it." Hunk said. "Give me just a second."

Watching as Hunk retreated back into the yellow lion, Lance just frowned. "Where are Pidge and Shiro? They get Slav?"

"Yes, they did. Pidge found some information on her brother while there. I believe she is trying to learn what she can from it." Allura told him. "As for Shiro... he went to clean."

Oof. Yeah, he knew what that meant.

He wasn't sure when Shiro picked up the habit, but as far as anyone could tell, cleaning Keith's quarters seemed to give him some form of comfort. He didn't doubt that he was genuinely happy that Pidge had managed to find information about her brother, but at the same time...

...well, nobody could exactly blame him for feeling kind of bitter.

Least of all _Pidge_ , he knew. Out of anyone, she understood the most what it was like to have a loved one snatched away by the Galra. Heck, she'd had _two_.

And out of all of them, _Shiro_ was the one who understood the most what it was like to _be_ taken by the Galra.

"Princess," it was faint, but he could still sort of make out Hunk's voice from Allura's earring communicators, "-I uploaded that footage I mentioned."

"Wonderful, thank you Hunk." Allura told him. "Now, let's see who our mystery Galra are."

With a swipe of her hand, she brought up a screen. Bringing up the footage that Hunk had uploaded, he watched as her brows furrowed at the sight of the ship that had treated the whole chase like it was a game of cat and mouse.

And the yellow lion was the mouse.

"I am afraid I do not recognize this type of fighter." Allura frowned. "Nor the insignia."

"But I do."

Okay, so maybe he wasn't the best at reading Galra facial expressions, but he was pretty sure that look Kolivan was sporting was him being _troubled_. Allura certainly seemed to take it as such, almost instantly mirroring it.

"That," lifting his arm and taping at his gauntlet, Kolivan brought up a small screen, displaying the same type of fighter, "-is one of Prince Lotor's ships."

"Prince _who_ now?" Lance asked.

"I am afraid I have never heard of this _Prince Lotor_." Allura stated.

He could have sworn that Kolivan's brow furrowed at that. "I apologize. I was unaware that you did not know of his existence. Prince Lotor is Zarkon's son."

What.

Wait, _what_!?

"Zarkon has a son!?"

To his surprise, he wasn't the one to blurt that out- nope, that was all Hunk. He'd come back to them just in time to catch that bombshell.

"That is... troubling information." Allura admitted. "But if Zarkon has a son, why have we not heard anything about him before?"

"He was exiled, centuries ago." Kolivan told her. "Since then, even our network of spies has had difficulty tracking him down."

"So... if Zarkon has a heir, is that like, something we should be worried about?" Hunk asked.

"Perhaps." Kolivan said. "Given his exile, we cannot be certain if he will be called to take his father's place, should he fall. At this moment, we don't even have enough intelligence on him to determine if he even desires his father's throne or not."

"Sounds like this Lotor's one big mystery." Lance frowned.

"Yes, indeed." Allura said, lips set in a tight frown. "What _can_ you tell us about him?"

"We know that he has four generals in his service, all hybrids." Kolivan explained, bringing up different image on his gauntlet's screen. "The Galra you met in the Weblum must be two of their number."

Huh. He didn't even know there _were_ lady Galra.

Which... yeah, in hindsight, kind of dumb of him. But hey, it wasn't like they had run into any yet, and these _were_ aliens he was talking about here.

Squinting, Lance leaned a bit closer, trying to get a better look. In response, Kolivan merely enlarged the image.

"This one, the kind of bluish one," Lance began, "-Hunk, don't you think she looks kind of like the short one? Her frame, I mean."

"Oh yeah, totally." Hunk agreed.

"Acxa." Kolivan informed him. "Out of his four generals, our intelligence indicates that she is the most loyal. We believe she's held as his second in command."

"What of the other?" Allura asked.

"Well, they were tall, but they weren't as bulky as this one." Lance said, eyeing the one with the fluffy looking ears. "And they had a tail, but I think it was longer than hers, and like, more purple. And it definitely wasn't this colorful chick."

Pausing, Lance could only frown. "I'm... I'm not sure they were any of these."

"You're certain?" Kolivan asked.

"I- yeah." Lance said, nodding his head. "At least maybe like, ninety five percent certain? I don't know, they never showed their face."

"In which case, he's found another general to recruit." Kolivan observed, his brow furrowing. "You've brought us valuable intelligence."

"Should we be concerned?" Allura inquired. "He may try to gain back his father's favor by informing him that the paladins of Voltron were collecting large amounts of scaultrite."

Closing the image, Kolivan lowered his arm. "I will have Thace monitor for any communications of the sort. But I doubt it."

Allura didn't seem fully convinced, but nevertheless chose to accept it. "I will brief Pidge and Shiro on the matter. Hunk, Lance, the two of you can rest for awhile. There is still time before the teleduv is completed, and we will all need to be in top condition in order for this plan to work."

"You too, princess." Lance told her. "I mean- a huge bulk of this plan basically falls onto you, so..."

"I know the risks." Allura told him. "I promise you, I would not have signed off on this plan if I did not think I could endure what it calls for. This is the best chance we have to defeat Zarkon, and I do not want to see it slip away."

She was right about that.

This _was_ the best chance they had. If they didn't take it, who knew when they'd be able to find another one.

* * *

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Shiro closed his eyes, trying to stem the tide of his growing headache. He knew it was because he had been awake for too long, and staring at this screen for the past hour and a half wasn't helping, but there was just so much to get done that he felt like he couldn't even _think_ about resting just yet.

Letting out a long breath, he slumped back in his chair. At least everyone else had gone to bed- except for maybe Coran, who was helping the Olkari with a few last minute adjustments. The teleduv would be up and ready by tomorrow morning, and once it had gone through a full system check, they'd be ready to launch.

Ready to take the fight to Zarkon.

Letting out another long sigh, Shiro opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. Some part of him had naively thought that once they took out Zarkon, that would be the end of it, but he knew now that wasn't the case. The news that Zarkon had a son, even one that he had exiled, did not rest easy with him.

Prince Lotor. A figure that not even the Blades knew much about.

He was just glad that Lance and Hunk had returned to them. He couldn't- he _wouldn't-_ lose another paladin.

He had already failed Keith. He wouldn't fail anyone else.

Keith.

Losing _any_ of the paladins would have been bad, but they'd lost _Keith_. This was the same scrappy kid who had impressed him with his flying skills, the one he'd promised to give a second chance, to never give up on.

Now he was lost.

 _Taken_.

Now he understood how Pidge felt, willing to tear apart the cosmos to find even a single trace of her family. That she'd been able to find a clue to Matt's location in that prison... he was happy for her, really, he was.

But all it did was remind him that it had been eight months, and he didn't have so much as a single clue where Keith was.

When he'd first been captured, he'd dreaded the announcement from the Galra Empire. He feared that they would crow about their achievement, let all the universe know that they had seized the red paladin of Voltron. He was afraid of seeing Keith in the gladiator arena, forced to fight for his life.

But that didn't happen.

There had been radio silence from the Galra Empire, ever since Keith had vanished.

Seeing Keith thrown into the arena might actually be preferable to this. If there was one thing Keith knew how to do, it was _survive_. But that was the problem- he'd already survived _so much_ , more than any one kid should have to. When he'd gotten him into the Galaxy Garrison, he'd promised him that for once, he could do more than just survive.

He could _thrive_.

But he'd gone and let him down.

Sure, maybe being abducted by aliens hadn't exactly been according to plan, but he'd chosen to go on that mission, _against_ the objections of his superior officers- and Adam. The only one he could blame for being there was himself.

He'd gone and removed himself from Keith's life, after he'd said that he would stick around. At least for so long as he was able.

Heaving a sigh, he opened his eyes, hand straying to his right wrist. The metal of his Galra arm was cool to the touch, unlike the device he'd kept strapped to his wrist for so long. It warmed with the sun, and in the desert environment in which the Galaxy Garrison was situated, it was almost never cold.

Space, on the other hand, was.

He knew for a fact that the prison cells on Galra ships were _always_ cold. The thin fabric of the clothes the prisoners were given didn't do much to protect against it- he'd spent many a night, huddled up, desperately trying to sleep.

To think that Keith could be going through the same things he had... he didn't want to think about it.

He did anyways.

He thought about it and thought about it, until he couldn't take thinking anymore. He'd usually drown himself in work, but right now, it wasn't helping much.

It was that video that was bothering him.

Against his better judgement, he brought it up again. He watched as the Galra fighter ducked and weaved through both space rock and laser blasts alike, none of them ever coming close to it. He watched as it suddenly accelerated, but instead of pushing forward, it went back- falling behind the yellow lion, and out of sight.

He knew that move.

He'd taught it to Keith.

Obviously, the pilot of the Galra fighter _wasn't_ Keith. But it still made him _think_ of Keith.

A lot of things made him think of Keith.

Adam had cracked a joke once, about him being like a father to Keith. He'd laughed at it and had dismissed it- he was way too young to be a father- but maybe he had a point. Maybe not a son, but a brother, surely.

Either way, family.

Family that he'd let down.

Which seemed to be about the only thing he was capable of doing. First Adam, now Keith... but at least he knew Adam was alive, safe on Earth. But Keith?

God, he didn't even know if Keith was _alive_.

He had to be. That was what he told himself every day. He _had_ to be alive.

Keith was a survivor. He had endured the desert for a year. He had endured foster care, even when not all of his foster families had been kind to him. _I'm not normal_ , Keith would tell him, _I'm not normal, so they're afraid of that_. _Of me._ _They lash out. That's normal._

He'd told him that no, that _wasn't_ normal. But he got the feeling that Keith had never actually listened, even when he said he had.

It wasn't like he'd never noticed that Keith wasn't entirely normal. But a physical oddity here and there by no means justified what he'd had to endure, and it certainly didn't mean that he'd _deserved_ it.

Getting him out of the foster system and into the Garrison had been his top priority even before he'd noticed the scars. After he'd noticed them...

Well, he wasn't about to let Keith go _back_.

Now because of him, Keith was lost in space, at the mercy of the Galra Empire. So yeah. He'd done a _great_ job.

"You know," Pidge's voice nearly caused him to jump out of his skin, "-there's such a thing as being too predictable."

Pressing a hand over his heart, trying to calm it back down again, Shiro frowned. "Pidge."

Lifting her brows, Pidge otherwise looked impassive. "Shiro."

"It's late." He told her. "You should be in bed."

"So should you." She pointed out- and he knew she was right, he should. "You're our leader, Shiro. I thought you were supposed to be setting the good example."

He winced at that. She had a point.

"Just some work I needed to finish up." Shiro lied. "I was planning on sleeping after that."

Pidge looked unconvinced. "Shiro, we both know that isn't true."

Defeated, Shiro gave her a wry grin. "You caught me."

"It's about Keith, isn't it?" She asked. "You've been acting weird ever since I told you I found footage of Matt."

For someone so young, Pidge had an uncanny ability to see right through people. It was probably the reason why she hadn't been fooled for one second by the Garrison's lies.

"Yeah," Shiro admitted, "-it's about Keith."

Leaning against the armrest of the black paladin's chair, Pidge just frowned. "It's not like I don't get it. If you found something about Keith on that ship, I'd probably be feeling the same way you are now."

"Or well," tilting her head, her brows furrowed, "-maybe not _exactly_ , because Keith is important to me too, but I guess Matt and dad are also kind of important to you, I mean, you did live with them on that shuttle for like _months_ , so-"

"Pidge."

Blinking, Pidge startled. "Oh right. Uh. I guess what I was trying to say is- we all know you're doing your best, Shiro. We'll find him."

"Sometimes it just doesn't feel like my best is enough." Shiro admitted.

"Yeah," closing her eyes, Pidge's shoulders slumped, "-I get that too."

For a moment, they just sat in silence, listening to the faint sounds of the castle-ship. It was strangely relaxing, he thought.

"Maybe," Pidge spoke up, "-maybe once we defeat Zarkon, you can look for him. Full time, I mean. Like me and my family."

Giving her a faint smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes, Shiro nodded his head. "Maybe. That is, if this Prince Lotor doesn't become a problem."

Crinkling her nose, Pidge frowned. "Right, him. I still can't believe someone actually-"

Sensing where that was going, he cut her off. " _Pidge_."

Pidge merely leveled her gaze with him, daring him to challenge her. "-fucked Zarkon."

"Okay," getting to his feet, Shiro held up his hands, "-that's it. Bedtime for you, young lady."

"Fine. But only if you get some sleep too." She told him.

Arching a brow, wondering if that had been her ploy all along, he just heaved a sigh. "Alright, fine. I'll try to get some sleep too."

Nodding her head, Pidge appeared satisfied with that. "Good. We're going to need you tomorrow. Next to Allura, you have like, the toughest role."

"I don't know about that." Shiro told her. "I think Thace has a harder role than I do."

"I mean yeah, but I don't _know_ Thace." Pidge told him. "I just know you. And Allura."

"...maybe don't tell Allura I tacked her on as an afterthought there."

"Promise." Shiro told her. "Now let's see about getting some sleep."

Sleep might not help him find Keith, but at least it would leave him fresh for the fight to come. Pidge was right. Once Zarkon was defeated, they could all focus on other tasks.

At least, he hoped.

* * *

She knew that she should be asleep.

Between Lance and Coran, no one had failed to remind her of the risks that she would be taking tomorrow. She knew them all too well herself, and while she couldn't- and _wouldn't_ \- deny them, she knew that so long as they had this shot, that she could not be the one to hold them back.

She knew all too well that she wasn't supposed to be the one flying the red lion.

She wished that she could be happy about it.

It was her father's lion, once. To fly it meant that she was following in his footsteps, actively fighting back against the tyranny that had infected the universe like a plague.

But she could not.

She was not the red lion's true paladin.

She had not connected with it, not like the others had with theirs. It allowed her to fly it, allowed her to join with the others as a unit, to form Voltron- but she was not its paladin. It was waiting, she sensed.

Waiting for Keith.

Who they just could not _find_.

She could only blame herself. She had been the one who had insisted that they stay longer at that transportation hub. She had been the one who had suggested they go there in the first place, so no matter what anyone else said, in so far as she was concerned, the blame for Keith's capture fell squarely on her.

And she knew the others blamed themselves.

Lance blamed himself for not stopping him.

Hunk blamed himself for not going with him.

Pidge blamed herself for not arriving in time.

Shiro blamed himself for not being there.

She was all but certain even _Coran_ blamed himself for this, somehow.

But she? She had been the one to cause all this. And it was because of her that he was lost to them now.

She knew he had to be alive. The red lion would sense it if he passed.

It was not as much of a comfort as she would have hoped. _Alive_ was one thing, but _doing well_ was another- and there was no way that he could possibly be doing well, not while he was in the hands of the Galra.

None of them should even be involved in this war. Thinking back on it, that had been her fault too. She had been the one who had assigned them each a lion, going on about _destiny_.

Such thoughts were what brought her down to the red lion's hangar, well past when she should be sleeping. Resting her hand on one of the red lion's legs, she closed her eyes, feeling its energy.

Though not as a paladin would.

"I know that I am not your first choice," Allura spoke, "-and I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to find your true paladin, and bring him home."

Opening her eyes, she stared up at the red lion. "But I will need you in this next fight. We will _all_ need you. So please- if only just for tomorrow, think of me as yours."

She did not expect a response.

But instead, the red lion _roared_.

All she could feel was fear, cold and heavy in her heart.


	7. roar

It's chapter seven! How is everyone doing this fine evening? I myself, am a okay! As always, thanks for sticking around and reading, and with that said, I don't have much else to say this time around, so see you next update!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter seven**

 **roar**

* * *

Lotor was waiting for them in the hangar when they arrived.

"Acxa," he began, without preamble, "-it is good to see that you are safe. I trust that you were able to complete your mission?"

"Yes," her tone was curt, as if she were keenly aware of her own failure, "-we were able to collect two bags of scaultrite."

Without a word, he lowered both bags in front of Lotor, briefly locking eyes with him. Though he didn't like it, he forced himself to break eye contact first, folding his arms in front of him. He didn't doubt that Acxa would inform him about the encounter with the paladins, and he wasn't about to stop her.

Maybe he could gather some clues that way.

"Very good." Lotor observed. "Though I must say, these do not look like any containment devices we have on the ship."

"It's because they're not." Acxa told him. "In the Weblum, we encountered two individuals," and her gaze briefly flickered over in his direction, "-who might be of interest to you. These containment devices belong to them."

She was making him say it, he dimly realized.

Letting out a grunt, Keith felt himself stiffen. Lotor had to have realized by now, but he was keeping his silence. Another test, he thought.

Either that, or just a reminder of which side he was on now. Like he really needed the help.

"...the paladins."

His tail twitched as he spoke, keeping his words as brief as possible. If Lotor thought he was going to willingly hand over information, then he had another thing coming.

No matter who he swore allegiance to on the surface, his loyalty would _always_ be to Voltron.

Merely arching his brows, Lotor looked contemplative. "Yes, these do remind me a bit of some Altean technology I have seen in the past. Do you know which paladins?"

"Judging by the armor, it was the blue and yellow paladins." Acxa informed him. "We left them alive, but commandeered these two bags of scaultrite from them. They seemed to be collecting a massive amount of it."

"Very good." Lotor said. "I would much rather avoid any unnecessary bloodshed."

"If you need more scaultrite, I will gladly return to the Weblum myself." Acxa told him. "I will not fail you again, Lotor."

"There will be no need for that." Lotor told her. "What you have brought me should be more than enough."

"Don't suppose you'll tell us what it's for." Keith cut in, watching the prince through narrowed eyes. He doubted it, but it was worth asking.

Lotor merely looked amused, sparing him a glance. "All in good time."

"You could just say no." Keith told him.

"In that case," Lotor said, the corner of his lips pulling in an amused smile, "-no."

Right. Fine. He'd walked right into that one, he'd admit.

"That is all, Acxa." Lotor said, turning his attention back to her. "I will expect a full report as to the circumstances leading up to your distress signal by tomorrow morning."

Placing her hand over her heart, Acxa gave Lotor a salute. "Yes, Prince Lotor."

Feeling his fur bristle, Keith narrowed his eyes. He hadn't asked her about the paladins, which could only mean he intended to ask _him_ about them. Judging from the hooded glare Acxa sent his way before taking her leave, she realized that as well as he had.

"So," Lotor began, turning his gaze onto him, "-the blue and yellow paladins?"

He didn't think he could even get more stiff, but apparently, he was wrong. "Yes."

"I'm surprised," he observed, his voice cool, "-that you did not leave with them."

He didn't fight the low, inhuman growl that emitted from deep in his throat, nor did Lotor so much as flinch at it. "You know damn well why."

"So I suppose my previous assessment was correct." Lotor observed. "You fear the paladins will not accept you as you are now."

Eyes flashing, Keith felt his tail stand on end. "I'm not afraid."

It was a lie, and he knew it as soon as he tasted it. He was. _Terrified_ , in fact. Rejection from any of the paladins would be rough, but especially Shiro... he didn't know if he could handle it if it came from Shiro.

Sure, he'd promised never to give up on him, but that was when he thought he was _human_. He wouldn't blame him in the least if he chose to reign back on his promise. He'd already stuck with him far longer than anyone else had, and that in itself was an achievement. Maybe if he still _looked_ human, their bond would be able to survive, but now that he was so far from it...

...he wouldn't let himself hope, not even for a second. He knew from experience that there was nothing worse than getting your hopes up, because without fail, you would always be let down.

Better to accept.

He _had_ to accept.

Lotor, to his credit, merely inclined his brows, looking otherwise indifferent to his outburst. "My mistake."

Watching him through narrowed eyes for a moment longer, Keith eventually drew back. "Am I free to go?"

Under Lotor's studious gaze, he couldn't help but feel his fur stand on end. He had expected him to grill him for information about the paladins- not this. Which meant he either already had a source, or he was simply indifferent to their actions.

He didn't know which was better.

"Yes," Lotor said simply, "-you are dismissed."

Gritting his teeth, he didn't wait a second longer. Storming past Lotor, he tried to let the heat of his anger cool off. He knew that he shouldn't let what he said get to him like this- that had to be what Lotor _wanted_ , to further the sense of isolation he'd developed. But damned if he wasn't _good_ at it.

Knowing it and being able to protect himself from it were two different things.

By the time he reached his quarters- and something in his gut churned at that turn of phrase- the bulk of his anger had cooled. Letting out a long sigh, he closed his eyes, trying not to think.

Not about Lotor, not about being Galra, not about anything.

It didn't work.

Grunting, he snapped his eyes open. Wordlessly making his way to the mirror, he glowered at his reflection, at the wild mane that he called his hair now. Without thinking about it, he reached for his knife, gathering no small amount of his hair, and with one deceive swipe, cut away at it.

What he was left with was a mess.

It was at least the same length that he was used to, but it was uneven, chaotic. Despite being much shorter now, it still looked more like a mane, he noted bitterly.

But at least it made him feel a bit more like himself.

Screw being unrecognizable. It wasn't worth it. If he didn't have a piece of his old self, he felt like he was going to go mad.

Tucking away his knife, he tried once more not to think.

It went better this time.

* * *

"Whoa, what did you do to your hair?"

Pausing to wipe sweat from his brow, Keith let out a long breath. He hadn't touched any of the facilities on the ship outside of those in his own quarters, and the kitchen, since coming here, but there had been nothing quite like an intense session on the training deck to clear his head, so he figured he'd give it a shot.

That, and he hadn't had much practice fighting in this form yet. Not with a _weapon_ , at least.

His bayard felt heavier in his hand than usual, though he was probably just imagining that. It wouldn't make any sense otherwise- he knew he was a lot stronger now than he used to be, so if anything, it should be _lighter_.

It was never very heavy to begin with.

"I cut it."

"Well _obviously_ ," Ezor said, rolling her eyes, "-but what did you do, hack it off with your knife?"

Heaving a short sigh, he let his bayard sword transform back into its default state. It didn't look like Ezor would be leaving anytime soon, and he'd rather not train under the stares of one of Lotor's generals. Hooking it back on his belt, he folded his arms, staring her down.

"Yes."

"Oh," Ezor blinked, like she hadn't quite expected to be right, "-it looks bad."

"I don't care how it looks." Keith frowned. "Besides, you don't even _have_ hair."

"No, but in case you haven't noticed, I have _eyes_." Ezor told him, pulling at her lids. "Even _Narti_ could tell that you have an ugly haircut."

Great. So even among the Galra, he couldn't get away from judgmental comments made about his hair. Maybe in a different life, Lance and Ezor could become good friends.

The thought made him shudder.

"My hair is fine." Keith told her.

"Oh, so first you say you don't care how it looks, and now you say it's fine?" Ezor asked, arching her brows. "I'm sensing a bit of inconsistency here."

Letting out a low grumble, Keith glowered at her. "What do you even want? In case you didn't notice, I was trying to train."

"Emphasis on _trying_." Ezor noted.

His grumble turned into a growl, tail lashing behind him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you suck." Ezor told him, with a surprising degree of bluntness. "Funny, I expected more from the red paladin."

" _Ex_ ," Keith hissed, "- _ex_ red paladin. And in case you haven't noticed, I've gone through a bit of an adjustment."

Not to mention the fact that he was out of practice. He hadn't touched a sword, much less his bayard, since he had been captured by the Galra, and that was eight months ago. Since then, the closest thing to a weapon he'd gotten hold of was the broken off horn of one of the creatures he'd been tossed into the arena with.

Sure, he'd be able to make do without it, but he'd rather stick to his sword.

"Hm," letting out a low hum, Ezor remained indifferent to his temper, "-fair point. But if you're looking for some advice-"

"I'm not."

"Wow, you _are_ stubborn, aren't you?" Ezor observed, tilting her head. "But fine. If you want to get yourself killed because you fight like someone a lot smaller, suit yourself."

Opening his mouth to say something, Keith snapped it shut. As much as he hated to admit it, she had a point. Seeing Lance and Hunk again might have helped give him a frame of reference as to how much taller he'd gotten, but he still had a hard time thinking of himself as being the looming Galra he actually was now.

He _was_ fighting like someone a lot smaller. What had worked well for him when he'd been human wasn't going to work now.

He'd need to rethink the way he fought. He didn't like it, but he also didn't have much of a choice.

Unfortunately, Ezor noticed.

"See?" Clapping her hands, she almost seemed to beam. "Hey, maybe I can help!"

"No thanks." Keith told her.

"Aw, c'mon," frowning, Ezor almost seemed to pout, "-no need to be so grumpy all the time. I mean, you're one of us now."

Fur bristling, Keith felt his temper flare. "I'm not-!"

"Then what are you?" Cutting him off, Ezor cocked a brow. "I mean, you're _obviously_ not a paladin anymore, you just said so. Or what, do you wanna go join Zarkon's team after all?"

Shutting his mouth, Keith simply glared at her.

"Yeah, didn't think so." She said. "Face it, whether you like it or not, you're stuck with us."

Gritting his teeth, he knew she was right. Even if he changed his mind, where would he go? There was nowhere in the universe that would accept him as is, so it was better to stay where he could actually _do_ something.

Maybe... maybe it was just time for him to accept that.

Shoulders slumping, Keith heaved a long sigh. "Fine."

Perking up, Ezor beamed- an expression which did nothing to undermine the malicious glint he caught in her eyes. "Oh goody! I'll go get Zethrid! We can tag team!"

What.

* * *

She hadn't been kidding.

Groaning, Keith couldn't recall the last time he'd been this sore. It felt like he'd used muscles he didn't even know he _had_ \- which, given his current state, was a frightening possibility. Either way, the training session had made two things clear to him- Ezor and Zethrid were a combination to be feared, and that he was sorely out of practice.

He'd reverted, in the end, but only after he'd lost both his bayard and his knife.

Maybe he did take some smug satisfaction out of hurling Ezor into Zethrid like that. He knew his tail was strong, but he hadn't expected that it would be strong enough to lift a full grown (half) Galra off their feet and send them hurling into another one.

Not that he minded. That was definitely useful.

Said tail was currently looped around his waist, as he chugged down the contents of a water packet. He'd stumbled his way into the kitchen area, and had collapsed there, feet stretched out in front of him. Tilting his head, he stared at the boots of his armor, wishing that they didn't make it so obvious that he was some kind of three toed freak now.

Except he guessed for a Galra, he was pretty normal.

He couldn't take any comfort in that.

Vaguely, he realized he'd fallen into the exact same routine as he had on the Castle of Lions- cooling off after a long training session in the kitchen. The only difference was the absence of Hunk, chattering away about his latest recipe, scolding him when he tried to sneak a bite early.

Blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes, his ears twitched, picking up on a faint sound. Moments later, something leapt up onto the counter, its steps soft, if not quite soft enough.

Kova.

Blinking, Keith frowned. It was the first time he'd seen the cat on the ship since he'd been brought here. Without thinking, he reached out a hand, lightly stroking underneath its chin with the side of his finger, much like he had the first time they'd met.

That _had_ been a test, he realized- just not one of Haggar's.

"Good kitty," Keith mumbled, not blaming it in the least for what its owners had made it do, "-where's your owner?"

Kova's ears perked up at his words, lifting his head. Frowning, Keith turned his own, looking behind him- and sure enough, Narti was there.

He hadn't even heard her come in.

Or _smelled_ her, for that matter.

It was eerie. The eyeless stare didn't help.

Briefly, he wondered if that was natural for whatever she was mixed with, or if it was some kind of mutation. Whichever it was, he wasn't going to ask- he'd had enough rude questions directed at him while growing up to know better.

He might hate the Galra, but he didn't hate them _that_ much.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kova settle on its haunches, before springing off them, landing neatly on Narti's shoulder. The space cat purred, before settling into position, balancing on the pronounced shoulder pads of her armor.

It wasn't just Kova he hadn't seen since he'd been brought on the ship- it was also Narti. Unlike the other three, he had no real interaction with her, beyond that first meeting, which barely even counted. Frowning, he watched as she wordlessly made her way into the kitchen, barely so much as acknowledging his presence.

It didn't feel rude.

Tilting his head, Keith watched her out of one eye as she retrieved something from the cabinets for herself. Gaze dropping downwards, it fell on her tail, the tip of his own twitching as he paid it notice. Guess that was something they had in common.

Outside of himself, he'd never seen any Galra with tails before this. Either they hid theirs, or they were docked- or maybe they were just that uncommon.

Narti's was about as thick as his own, though his was longer- usually he kept it curled up, in a manner reminiscent of a lizard, to avoid it brushing against the ground all the time. It wasn't so much a conscious choice on his part, as it was just what he had fallen into, like it had its own set of instincts.

Eyes darting back up, he blinked, realizing that Narti was looking at him. To be more precise, she'd turned her head in his direction- she didn't have any eyes, so she couldn't really _look_ at him, not exactly.

How did that even work?

Without a word, Narti set something down in front of him- a small jar, to be exact. Blinking, he glanced down at it, almost instinctively finding himself sniffing it. Instantly, his nose crinkled, and he pushed it away, repulsed by the odor.

Narti responded by pushing it back towards him.

Brows furrowing, he was already marking this down as his most bizarre encounter yet. Not just since he had been brought here, or even since he had found himself in space- but just in general.

Frowning, Narti tapped the lid, then seemed to mimic drinking.

He realized two things- the first was that not only was Narti blind, but she was also _mute_. The second was that even in space, pantomime was still alive and strong.

He wondered if the Galra had sign language.

Probably not.

When all he did was stare at her, Narti tapped the lid of the jar again, a bit more impatient this time.

Right. Fine. Okay. Whatever this stuff was, it didn't _smell_ like poison, so it was probably fine. He didn't know how he knew that, nor why he was so _certain_ , but like so many other things, he just wasn't going to question that.

(Besides, who would just keep poison lying around in the kitchen anyways?)

Popping open the jar, he felt himself physically recoil at the smell. Narti didn't so much as stir, so it must have been just him again. The last thing he wanted to do was put this in his mouth, but he got the feeling that he wasn't going to leave here without doing so.

It was some kind of liquid, almost neon blue in color. Casting one last skeptical glance towards Narti, he gulped it down without another word, bracing for the worst.

Instead, it just felt like the ache in his muscles had vanished.

Blinking, he stared down at the jar, before looking back up towards Narti. She simply nodded her head, before leaving, without so much as another word.

Or another pantomime, he guessed.

That was... strange.

Rising to his feet, his tail unwound itself from his waist. Staring in the direction Narti had gone in, he felt his brow furrow. He felt like he had a pretty good lock on the other three generals- Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid were all pretty easy to understand in their own right, but Narti?

...he got the feeling she was going to be a bit of a mystery.

* * *

Stripping out of his armor felt like a relief.

He didn't even bother taking off the under layer. He had clothes he could change into, but he didn't feel like going through the trouble. Instead, he collapsed on his bed, face first into his pillow, feeling like he could fall asleep on the spot.

He didn't, though.

Instead he forced himself back up, onto his feet. His tail curled behind him, a hand absently straying to the back of his neck. His head felt so much lighter now that his hair was back to roughly its normal length, but he'd gotten so used to having it back there that it felt a bit strange.

Two days in, and he was no closer to getting any concrete answers.

Not that he expected to. He knew he'd been in this for the long haul when he'd decided on it. Still, seeing Lance and Hunk again...

Blowing out from his nose, he huffed. Plucking his gauntlet from where he had discarded it, he collapsed back on his bed, tail twitching out of the way just in time to avoid being sat on. It curled around his waist as he leaned back against the wall, tucking his feet up on the bed. With one hand, he brought up the holoscreen on his gauntlet, just staring at it for a long moment.

His new position gave him access to information. What he _had_ managed to gather was that even though Lotor was exiled, he still had a certain amount of authority in the empire.

Staring at the display, his tail idly twitched. He wasn't even sure where to begin, or even what he was looking for.

He thought about looking up his own information, but he wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. Sometimes he felt like the less he knew about his own transformation, the better.

So instead, he looked for something- rather _someone_ \- else. He wasn't the _only_ human lost in space. As much as he qualified as that, at any rate.

Pidge's family.

If there was one thing he could do, it was find them.

He nearly started to search for them by name, before stopping short. That... wouldn't really work, would it? He doubted the Galra Empire tracked them by name- it was probably by their prisoner numbers.

Since they had been captured alongside Shiro, he was willing to bet that they had prisoner numbers close to his. Thinking about Shiro hurt, but he pushed it aside, instead trying to recall if he knew what it was.

Nope.

Clicking his tongue, Keith frowned. For all he knew, Pidge had already found them while he was gone. Eight months was a lot of time, and she was nothing if not determined.

Briefly, the bitter feeling came back, but he fought it down.

Pidge had known him for a couple of months at best. Of course she was going to look for her actual family far more desperately than she would look for him. She'd been willing to leave Voltron for them.

Heaving a sigh, Keith switched off the computer, tossing the gauntlet aside. He couldn't exactly look for them if he didn't know where to start looking- even with all the information he could possibly want at his fingertips.

Instead, he reached for his knife.

He still needed to buy a new sheath for it. He didn't know where to start looking for _that_ either. He hated having lost his father's, but it wasn't like he could just go back to the Castle of Lions and ask for it.

Yeah, wouldn't end well.

Turning over the blade in his hands, he frowned, lightly tracing its edge with one of his claws. He wondered if his mother was still out there somewhere, and what she would think of him now.

He prayed she wasn't a part of the empire.

Letting out a huff, he tucked the blade underneath his pillow. He felt more secure with it there- or as secure as he could get on what still felt like an enemy ship. Knowing that he wasn't in any danger here just somehow made it worse.

Collapsing back on his pillow, his tail had to fight a little to untwine itself from around his waist, wiggling out from under him, but it managed in the end, slumping over his legs. Closing his eyes, he felt the shroud of sleep trying to claim him, and this time, he didn't fight it.

He didn't know what tomorrow would bring.

Maybe Lotor would have another mission for him. Something less innocuous than a rescue mission. He doubted he'd send him out to slaughter innocent civilians, not when he was trying to gain his trust and prove himself as one of the good guys- yeah right- but that didn't mean he wouldn't have to do anything distasteful.

He was prepared for that.

Probably.

As he drifted off to sleep, all he could think about was that one foster brother, whose name he couldn't even remember now. The one who had told him, in no uncertain terms, that he'd amount to nothing more than a common crook.

Jokes on him.

He was way worse than that.

* * *

In his dream, he saw Allura.

It didn't feel like it was through his own eyes. He felt... _bigger_ , like he wasn't himself. Which was how he felt a lot, lately, but this was different- this was almost peaceful.

It was only when he felt that half-forgotten sensation brush at his mind, that he knew what this was. Even in his dreams, he felt himself jolt, half expecting to wake up- but he remained firmly asleep, now keenly aware that he was both dreaming and not.

Why now?

After all this time, why now?

He wanted to push away, to reject the red lion with every fiber of his being. He couldn't go back now, like this- he wasn't a paladin anymore, should have never been one in the first place. With him gone, the team could finally become what it had never been able to be with him around.

A real team.

But Allura's voice drew him out of it.

She wasn't speaking to him, he knew. She was talking to the red lion.

He felt like an eavesdropper, and even if some part of him knew that the red lion was showing him this on purpose, he still couldn't shake it.

 _"I know that I am not your first choice."_

So she _had_ become the red paladin in his place.

Good. She deserved it. Much more than he did. _Had_.

 _"-and I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to find your true paladin, and bring him home."_

That almost made him want to laugh. Right. Of course. The princess didn't know. If she knew, she would never want him anywhere near the Castle of Lions, much less the red lion.

 _"But I will need you in this next fight. We will_ _ **all**_ _need you."_

Even in this strange not-dream, he felt himself frown. Next fight? What did she mean by that? Was something about to happen?

 _"So please- if only just for tomorrow, think of me as yours."_

He could feel the red lion in his thoughts, questioning. It offered him nothing as to why it had been gone for so long, why it chose to show up again now- but even if it did, it wouldn't change anything.

Ex-paladin.

He had cast aside that title himself.

So he did it again.

As he felt the red lion's connection slipping away from him, he was dimly aware of the sound of its roar filling his ears. He couldn't decide if it was angry or sad- or maybe both.

Whichever it was, it didn't matter anymore.

He wasn't its paladin any longer.


	8. territory

It's chapter eight! Time for a bit of good, old-fashioned world-building. And you know, one big, major event. That too. Can't wait to send Keith right back to Central Command. That won't be awkward at all, no sir!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter eight**

 **territory**

* * *

He woke with a deep feeling of loss.

Pushing it aside, he got to his feet. He'd made his choice, he couldn't complain about it now. Donning his armor, he paused to take in a deep breath, to brace him for whatever the day would bring with it.

Being given such free reign of the ship still felt surreal. He could tamper with the engines and blow them all to kingdom come, if he wanted- except he couldn't, because he didn't know how. That was more of Hunk's thing, and he doubted he'd ever do anything that _violent_.

(Pidge, maybe, but he always got the impression she was better with computers and code than she was actual mechanical work.)

He was pretty good with his hands, granted- or had been, back on Earth. He'd kept his father's hoverbike well maintained, even though he'd never had any formal classes on hoverbike repair. Fixed things around the shack. Did odd jobs around town. But now his hands, just like the rest of him, had changed- he wouldn't be able to tuck them into cervices like he once had, no longer small.

It felt... weird, being proportioned like a Galra. His arms felt like they were out of alignment with the rest of him, his hands and feet too massive, even when compared to the rest of his new height. He couldn't help but be conscious of it. His proportions had _always_ been a little off kilter, but he guess he knew why now.

He had a lot to get used to.

First, he'd hit the training deck, then he would get something to eat. He loathed it, but Ezor was still right- if he was going to become effective with a weapon again, then he needed to teach himself how to fight all over again. Before, he'd taught himself how to fight against larger opponents- against sentries, or members of the Galra command.

Now he _was_ a member of the Galra command, and had all of the looming height to go with it. If he didn't adapt, he'd just get himself killed.

Which, in spite of everything that he'd been through, still didn't sound appealing. Self-loathing, yes, but suicidal? No. He was too stubborn for that. Surviving was the best way to spite Haggar.

The training deck was completely empty, but he expected that at this hour. It was still early- he'd always been an early riser, especially when he'd lived out in the desert, and had taken to enforcing that again, now that he had some basic concept of when early _was_.

Somehow, Ezor and Zethrid didn't seem like early risers. Acxa, maybe, Lotor, almost definitely.

He had no clue about Narti.

Back on the Castle, it had always just been him, Shiro, and Coran awake at this hour. Sometimes Pidge, but that usually just meant that she had stayed up all night and was just now about to go to bed. Lance _always_ slept in, given the opportunity, and Allura and Hunk just got up like normal people, at a normal hour.

If his not-dream was real- and he knew it was- then they'd probably all be waking up early today. Preparing. Going over the mission plan one more time, Shiro patient but firm as he guided them through it, step by step.

Unhooking his bayard, Keith stared down at it. He wondered just what it was they were doing- planning a large scale attack of some kind, obviously. Maybe they were going to try and free a well fortified planet?

He wondered if it had anything to do with all the scaultrite that Lance and Hunk had been collecting. He didn't see how- but surely they didn't need all of that to repair the teleduv, or whatever it was the thing that made wormholes was called. Provided the teleduv had even been broken in the first place. If it was for some kind of a mission, it might be working just fine, for all he knew.

Well, whatever it was, he wished them luck. He'd done all he could, which wasn't much- giving Allura the reins of the red lion fully, severing his own connection with it. _She_ was its paladin now, not him. Turning the bayard over in his hands, he traced the edge of it- guess this was actually _her_ bayard now.

If he got the chance, he'd give it back to her.

But for the moment, it still worked for him. Flashing into a sword, Keith felt the weight of it in his hands. Heavier, he thought, than yesterday, and now he knew for sure it was in his head.

He wanted to be bitter about the fact that the red lion had waited so long to reach out to him, but he suspected that maybe it didn't have much of a say in the matter. For all he knew, Haggar could have been blocking his end of the connection. Sounded like something she would do, at any rate.

Maybe he should just be glad it had reached out to him at all. At least this way, he could put an end to things, once and for all. A Galra had no place being a part of Voltron.

Taking in a deep breath, he slowly breathed out, taking all such thoughts with him. Getting into a stance, he fixed all his thoughts on the here and now. Thinking about it wouldn't do him any good, but training would.

* * *

He was halfway through his morning training session when the doors to the training deck opened. Letting out a long breath, he turned his head, noting with faint surprise that it wasn't Ezor this time.

Lotor.

"I see you have begun to avail yourself to our facilities." Lotor observed, something in his tone making his fur stand on end. "It may be no Castle of Lions, but I hope that you will nevertheless find your time here comfortable."

Narrowing his eyes, he banished his bayard sword, not missing the way that Lotor's gaze drifted towards it as he did. Either way, he was pretty sure he hadn't come out all this way just for a courtesy call. "You need something?"

If he took any issue with the curt tone used, he didn't let it show on his face. Instead, Lotor merely let out a low hum, assessing, almost. "I have a task for you."

Didn't surprise him. Hooking the red bayard back onto his belt, he folded his arms in front of him, frowning. "I'm guessing it's not another rescue mission."

"No, but I do not think you will object to it either." Lotor remarked.

Pretty big assumption. He objected to a lot of things these days.

"Don't leave me hanging." Keith told him.

Again, the Earth colloquialism caught Lotor briefly off guard. He wasn't exactly much of one to use them, but maybe he should put more of them into his lingo from now on. Thanks to his old man, he knew no shortage of them.

"I believe it is time that you began to familiarize yourself with the territory under my command." Lotor began. "As it so happens, I have just such the occasion. I have received word from planet Vetyi, that they have completed an order of mine. You are to go with Narti to collect it."

Narti. Perking up at the mute general's name, Keith frowned. Now that was something he didn't expect.

The rest of it was as expected, though. Sending to him to one of his territories? As far as he was concerned, that was the rough equivalent of putting him on parade. The more he showed his face wearing Lotor's uniform, the more people would understand just who he had under his thumb. Probably with the added benefit of showing off just how well taken care of those under his rule were, or whatever colonist bullshit he might want to feed him.

Whatever planet he was being sent to, it had probably been picked specifically.

At least it would get him off the ship for awhile, even if he didn't like the idea of being used. The more he could learn about what was going on outside of it, the better.

"Fine," Keith said- it wasn't like he was in much of a position to refuse anyways, "-when do I need to leave?"

"You are to meet Narti in the main hangar in a varga." Lotor instructed him. "Do not be late."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith bit back anything he might want to say, instead giving Lotor a curt nod of his head. That seemed to be enough, for the exiled prince excused himself, leaving him alone on the training deck once more.

It was only once he was gone, that Keith felt himself exhale. His shoulders, which had been drawn in tension, relaxed, his fur settling. He could only imagine what he must have looked like.

Like an angry cat, maybe.

Another mission. One he'd been given sparse details in regards to, which didn't exactly come as a surprise. Whatever it was that they needed to collect, he'd assume that Narti knew more than him.

Maybe this would give him a chance to learn what Voltron was doing.

But before that, he should grab something to eat and clean up a bit. If he was going to be paraded around as Lotor's newest general, then he at least wanted to do it on a full stomach. Who knows- maybe he'd even find a replacement sheath for his knife on this planet Vetyi.

* * *

Vetyi turned out to be one largely populated by cave dwellers, all of whom were brightly colored, vaguely reminding him of bipedal salamanders. They were small, maybe around Pidge's size, if not a little smaller, making him feel like more of a giant than he already was. They didn't like bright lights, which given how little sun their planet actually got, didn't seem to matter in the grand scheme of things.

He was starting to see why Narti had been selected. _Visibility_ wasn't exactly an issue to the blind.

They were greeted by what seemed to be their leader, dubbed a _grand priest_ , if his translation was right. The most surreal thing, he thought, was how _pleased_ the grand priest was to see them, as if they were honored guests, not conquerors.

He didn't buy it for a second.

Maybe the grand priest genuinely felt that way- and maybe so did a number of the planet's populace, but he remained skeptical. He'd gathered something to the effect of Lotor allowing them to continue to rule themselves, but if he truly believed that they should be allowed to do so, then it wouldn't a colony.

He didn't miss the distinct architecture of a Galran outpost as they flew in. Though it was far from where they had landed, he couldn't help but wonder just what it was there for. The planet's surface wasn't exactly _habitable_ , which explained why its populace lived deep underground.

He hated to admit Lotor was right, but maybe he _did_ need to learn a little more about his territories. If only just to get a better understanding of what he might be gaining from them.

"It is always a pleasure to meet one of Prince Lotor's generals." The grand priest addressed him, something in his tone making his skin crawl, like he was trying to gain _favor_ with him. "I do not believe we have had the chance to be introduced."

Narrowing his eyes, he forced himself to bite back a comment that he _wasn't_ one of them. It wouldn't exactly be a convincing argument, not when he wore armor with Lotor's personal insignia emblazoned on it. It wasn't technically wrong, either, even if his loyalties were not in line with Lotor's.

At any rate, what he was asking for was a name.

"Keith." He told him, without thinking too much about it. It was only once he said it, that he winced inwardly, the tip of his tail curling up- he got the feeling that might come back to bite him later. But it wasn't exactly like he'd picked out a Galran alias or anything like that, so it was all he had on hand.

It probably didn't even matter. Even if he made up a name, word would spread sooner or later. He knew it would- whatever it was that Lotor wanted from him, he didn't doubt that he wouldn't take advantage of the status having the ( _former_ ) red paladin of Voltron on his side would grant him.

He tried not to think about what would happen when it got back to the paladins.

The grand priest barely so much as blinked- though granted, he didn't know if his race even _could_. Guess since his main exposure to the Galra was through Lotor's forces, who were all half-Galra or less, he probably didn't think much of a Galra with a very non-Galran name.

Or maybe he just thought it was. He definitely _looked_ Galra now, so maybe he just saw no reason to question that.

The grand priest merely let out what sounded like a pleased rumble, bobbing his head. "Well met, well met. Now, this way. I am sure the prince will be pleased to find that we have harvested an abundance of the requested nectar this cycle."

Nectar? Arching a brow, he allowed the surefooted alien to guide him through the cave system. There wasn't much light down here- what light there was came from a system of bioluminescent plants that seemed to be woven through the fabric of the cave system itself.

Which was fine- in addition to his vision improving, his night vision had also gotten better. Reflecting back on it, it had always been a bit better than most people's- he still remembered the time he'd been in Shiro's dorm during that big blackout during his first year at the Garrison. How Shiro kept stubbing his toe like, every two steps, even though it was _his_ room.

Okay, maybe it hadn't been _that_ often, but it had felt like it, according to Shiro. He'd been impressed that Keith could navigate the darkened dorm so easily. Somehow he'd managed to go that long without realizing that the ease with which he could see in the dark wasn't normal, a feat, given how much every single other abnormality had been sharply brought to his attention at some point before that.

It sure made sneaking around late at night easier, in foster homes where they'd withhold food if he so much as acted the slightest bit out of line. Said it was to teach him how to behave. All it had done was make him good at sneaking around without being noticed.

Glancing to his side, he noted that Narti had no problems navigating the underground labyrinth either. It seemed as if the system of tunnels was designed to be as confusing as possible- probably as a means to deflect intruders. Gaze flickering downwards, he noted that Kova was by her feet, just a bit in front- and what obstacles he avoided, so too did Narti.

Maybe their senses were connected?

Which, honestly, wouldn't be the weirdest thing he'd seen in space yet. That was _still_ the multi-eyed laser beast from the Balmera.

"Ah, here we are."

 _Here_ turned out to be a massive cave, filled with strange bioluminescent flowers. It was beautiful, in a way- except something about their scent made his fur stand on end. He couldn't pin what it was down, not exactly- if he didn't know any better, it was like some kind of an instinctual warning, advising him of danger.

On one hand, useful.

On the other hand... he didn't exactly like the idea of having instincts he hadn't before. Instincts had to come from _somewhere_ , so the fact that he had no idea what the root cause was of these didn't sit well with him.

Glancing over towards Narti, he frowned. She didn't seem bothered.

Right, just him then. Comforting.

Motioning with a hand, the grand priest silently commanded one of those in the cave to come forward. They carried a large container, filled with small vials of what appeared to be a clear liquid, all well sealed. The closer they got, the more his fur bristled.

"As you can see, we have more than enough here to meet the prince's order." The grand priest told them, clearly pleased with himself, for all that Keith doubted he'd done any of the work himself. "And we are well on track to meet his next one."

Before he could say anything, the alien plucked one of the vials from the container, handing it to him, as if to inspect. He wanted to recoil at the action, but instead, he forced himself to take it, staring at the strange liquid- presumably nectar of some kind, based on what he had been told before. "Good to hear?"

He didn't even know what this stuff even _was_ , just that he didn't like it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Kova leapt onto Narti's shoulder. Once he was there, she lifted up a hand, bringing up her gauntlet's holoscreen. With surprisingly deft fingers, she tapped out a message, one that he could barely decipher.

He probably _should_ learn Galran.

The grand priest, at least, seemed to know what it meant, and simply nodded his head. "Yes, yes of course. We're making fine progress on that as well! Tell Prince Lotor that it should be ready within the next two movements."

He didn't know what _that_ was, but whatever it was, Narti seemed satisfied with that answer, lowering her gauntlet and giving the grand priest a curt nod. Taking that as his chance, Keith carefully set the vial back down with the others, glad to be rid of the stuff.

"Makaveligh here will load the nectar onto your ship." The grand priest informed them. "In the mean time, we shall feast!"

For a moment, he wasn't sure if he'd heard him right. A feast?

They really _weren't_ being treated like he thought the Galra should be treated- as conquerors, bent on dominating the universe. It was surreal, to say the least.

But he still wasn't buying it.

Lotor had sent him on this mission for a reason- so anything he saw here, he was willing to take with a grain of salt. Between the labyrinth-like network of tunnels, and the grand priest not allowing them to leave his sight, it was almost like he'd picked this planet solely based on how well any potential dark side could be hidden.

He was familiar with that kind of tactic too.

There were two kinds of violent foster parent- the kind that left obvious bruises, and the kind who hid them where no one would think to look. He was willing to bet that underneath all the pageantry, this planet was the latter.

You just had to know where to look.

"Come, generals!" The grand priest did not give them much leeway to protest. "All is prepared for your arrival. Today, we shall celebrate our joyous alliance with Prince Lotor!"

Glancing over towards Narti, she simply inclined her head. Right. As surreal as this felt for him, he guessed this was pretty standard for them. He almost wanted to decline, but he doubted he could get back to the ship on his own, and Makaveligh had already left, so it wasn't like he could just follow them.

Right.

Guess he was doing this, then.

Allowing the grand priest to take the lead, he hung back, behind Narti. Kova had once more taken the lead in front of her, and now he was almost certain that he was guiding her steps. He knew that the Alteans had some kind of mystical ability thing going on, so who was to say the same wasn't true for the Galra?

Or whatever it was Narti was mixed with.

Falling into step behind her, he glanced in her direction. "So what's this nectar?"

He didn't know if he'd get an answer or not, but it was worth asking. Studying Narti, he watched as she raised a finger to her throat, slashing it horizontally across.

It was a universal gesture.

Narrowing his eyes, Keith felt himself stiffen. "It's a poison."

Nodding her head, Narti tilted her head, almost questioningly. She was easy enough to understand, but then, he had experience with that too. His physical abnormalities and behavioral issues often had him lumped in with the other hard to adopt kids, so he'd had his fair share of experience with the deaf and the mute alike.

He just hadn't expected to put it to use out here.

"No," Keith told her, "-Lotor didn't tell me anything."

She merely frowned at that, and he left her to it. What did Lotor need poison for?

He could actually think of a lot of things. What he couldn't think of was a reason why he would send _him_ to collect it. Not when he was trying to gain his trust. Did he just think he wouldn't ask?

No, he didn't think so.

Frowning, Keith folded his arms in front of him. Maybe he sensed that he already knew he was shady, and had decided that hiding all of his dirty business would only make him even more suspicious of him. Or maybe there was some _other_ use for the stuff, outside of poison.

He got the feeling that Lotor made a habit out of not telling his underlings everything. And that they had a habit of not asking.

Blowing out a breath, he tilted his head. He didn't think asking would do any good. Lotor had made it transparently clear that however much he was trying to win his trust, he wasn't about to reveal everything to him either.

Sometimes it felt like everything had been less complicated when he'd been busy fighting for his life.

He felt his nose twitch, picking up a scent- or _several_ scents, rather. Guess they must be drawing close to where this supposed _feast_ was. The closer they drew, the more he could pick up- both scent and sound. Honestly, he was kind of glad that it was so dark in the cave, otherwise he was pretty sure it might have been too much for him.

He'd been prone to sensory overload even before gaining the rough equivalent of super senses. Sure, he hadn't done it in awhile now, at least, not in any serious way- but that was _probably_ something he should keep in mind for the future.

It also reminded him of another reason why he tended to avoid parties- the people. And god, were there ever a lot of people.

Yeah. Fighting in the arena was definitely easier.

* * *

In the end, he'd barely touched any of the food.

It just didn't feel right, taking it. Besides, all the talk of poison still had him on edge- and though he didn't get any repeat incidents involving strange instincts he knew for sure he didn't have before, it was enough to make him feel nervous.

Thankfully, if there was one thing he had experience in, it was avoiding festivities. He had spent much of the affair hanging to the side, watching. He'd eaten just enough to not be rude, and to get people off his back. He didn't learn much of note- just that the cave dwellers- who he learned were called the _Vakiet_ \- were big on grand, theatric gestures of hospitality, and that Narti could really put it away.

And that the Vakiet had been brewing poisons for centuries.

He had to wonder if Lotor had added the planet to his list of territories for that exact reason. Even the Galra might have trouble conquering a planet like this using conventional means, what with how their tunnel systems were set up. Claiming it for his own meant that he would get a cut of whatever they produced, and he'd never have to pay a cent for it. All he had to do was claim that he was protecting them from the tyranny of the Galran Empire, and they would fall in line.

He had to wonder how many other _useful_ planets Lotor had among his territories, gained using the same tactics.

Now sitting in the pilot's seat, he tried hard not to think about the poison loaded up in the hold of the fighter. Instead he focused on what was more important- _Voltron_.

All he'd caught was a whisper, one that he was certain he wasn't meant to overhear. He probably wouldn't have even gotten that if it weren't for how good his hearing was now. It had been a pair of servants, muttering in low tones, as they watched the grand priest with veiled discontent.

It proved that there were a number of Vakiet who were unhappy with their current situation. They just weren't willing to say as much in front of their _honored guests_.

Well, no one would hear it from him.

It hadn't been much- just a low muttering that they had freed another planet. He didn't even know which planet it was- but whatever the case, from the sound of it, they were doing well for themselves.

It was enough to make him smile.

He didn't think that it was whatever mission that Allura had been talking about in his not-dream, though. From the sound of it, it was old news. In other words, he was still just as in the dark about that, as he was when he'd woke up this morning.

He didn't have to wait long to find out.

Okay, he'd admit it- when the alert had come on, he'd jumped out of his seat, just a little. He just didn't expect it, that was all. In his defense, he was still getting used to this fighter, so it was bound to have a few surprises yet.

They were picking up on some kind of emergency broadcast transmission. Glancing over towards Narti, she merely inclined her head.

"...you know I don't know how that works, right?"

Frowning, Narti seemed to pause- before she very quickly moved to open the broadcast line. He felt his ears instinctively pin themselves flat, the default volume set far too loud. Thankfully, it was quickly lowered.

"-disappeared. We repeat. Central Command has disappeared."

Okay, _that_ caught his attention. How could Central Command just _disappear_?

"All communications with Central Command are currently down. Be advised that Voltron is involved."

Perking up, Keith sucked in a breath. _Voltron_.

So it wasn't a planet they were freeing, like he thought. No, they were going after something much bigger- Central Command itself.

His breath hitched in his throat, thoughts racing. If he had just stayed put-

-no. It wouldn't have mattered. Maybe he could have escaped while Central Command was under attack, but it still wasn't like he could go back to Voltron. Even if they broke in and freed all the prisoners, there was still a chance that they might not find him, tucked away from the main cell block as he was.

Hell, they might have just taken one look at the imprisoned Galra, and just left him there. He wouldn't blame them.

At least this way, he could actually _contribute_. Besides, it was too late to regret his choice now.

At least that answered the question as to what they needed all that scaultrite for. He didn't know how they'd done it, but he was willing to bet that somehow, they'd made a wormhole big enough to essentially steal Central Command. It was a bold, brazen plan, and he had to wonder whose work it was.

He hoped it worked.

He didn't even dare look towards Narti. Instead, he just fixed his gaze forward, focusing all his attention on piloting the fighter. He could swear that he felt Kova's eyes on him though, as if the cat were studying him.

With Zarkon gone, he doubted that the Galra Empire would simply crumble. Maybe he'd thought that once, but that had been _before_ he'd spent eight months in one of their prisons, before he'd learned that Zarkon had a son, and therefore, an heir.

Losing Zarkon would be a critical blow to the empire, that much was for sure. But it would just seek out a new leader to take its place.

So if Voltron succeeded, he wondered what that would mean for Lotor.

And consequently, what it would mean for _him_.

He _really_ didn't want to think about that.

* * *

Lotor was waiting for them in the hangar when they arrived. But this time, he wasn't alone.

With a sinking sense of dread, he recalled the last transmission that had gone out. That Central Command had been located, and that Voltron had fled. It was a strange feeling, one that sat heavy in his stomach, given how vague it had been.

"We have been summoned."


	9. emperor

Hello again, back with another update! I had a wonderful time on my vacation, the two most important highlights of which involve seeing a newborn baby horse and staying literally right above where they were filming a movie, which was both neat and vaguely inconvenient. But, now I'm back, and rearing to go! Just in time for us to finally enter into season three territory, which I am super, super looking forward to writing, for obvious reasons.

Keith? Not so much. He is definitely not looking forward to any of this I promise you.

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter nine**

 **emperor**

* * *

Central Command.

He could feel the tension buzzing against his skin. It hadn't been that long since he'd left here, clad in foot solider armor and following vague promises of freedom. Now here he was, his freedom assured, in exchange for becoming one of them.

He felt sick.

He forced himself not to show it. He couldn't afford to show weakness, not here. Despite his armor feeling like it weighed nearly ten tons, his bayard even heavier, he held his head up high, kept his back straight, and braced himself. This wasn't what he'd thought would happen when he made this choice, but now that it had, he just had to accept it.

Not that he knew exactly what had happened.

No one had spoken to him the entire time. He didn't doubt that Lotor knew the reasons for his summons, but he was purposefully being kept in the dark. Sensing this, he hadn't asked. He'd probably be informed in good time, and at least from the sound of it, Voltron had gotten away, even _if_ they had failed to do what they had set out to do.

But somehow, he didn't think so.

Folding his arms in front of him, he watched as their ship drew closer to Central Command. Seeing it from the outside, it was truly massive- but he could also make out signs of clear damage. He recognized some of the damage as being from Hunk's shoulder canon, and in spite of himself, smirked at it.

Good.

Maybe they hadn't been able to destroy it, but at least they'd done significant damage. He just hoped that the Galra hadn't done just as much damage to them.

"Come," Lotor spoke, "-let us pay our greetings."

Trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible, Keith fell into step behind the other generals. Only Narti was to remain with the ship- the rest of them were to follow Lotor, himself included. He caught Acxa's eye as he did, picking out a glint of suspicion in them, but he chose to ignore it.

She was right not to trust him.

Looping his tail around his waist so that it couldn't give him away, he squared his shoulders. As large as Lotor's ship was, there was no hangar large enough to fit it, even on a ship as massive as Central Command. It had been hooked up to a docking port, with an elevator bringing them into the main ship itself. He couldn't deny the tension that he felt, apprehensive that he might be seized for a second time, his brief freedom ending without him having even done much of anything.

He knew Lotor wouldn't allow it, but that thought didn't make him feel any better. It just made him feel like the pawn that he knew he was.

He caught the witch's scent almost as soon as they stepped off the elevator.

Fur raising, he fought back the urge to growl, not wanting to draw attention to himself. It didn't matter- the witch focused her attention on him almost immediately. For a moment, all she did was narrow her eyes, holding his gaze- before she turned away from him without a single word.

It left him with a sense of unease.

He'd done what she'd wanted, he dimly realized. Biting down on his tongue, he fought the urge to be sick. No- that wasn't quite right. He hadn't betrayed Voltron. Maybe he was wearing the colors of the Empire, but his allegiance was still with the paladins.

"Prince Lotor," she began, "-it is good that you responded so quickly."

"Spare me the pleasantries, witch." Lotor's words were laced with such disdain, that it was hard to believe they were anything but genuine. "Let us not waste time on such trivial matters. I wish to know why you have summoned me after all this time."

If she had any reaction to being spoken to in such a fashion, it didn't show on her face. "Very well. Come with me."

Haggar turned, and Lotor, after a moment of consideration, followed. Though his sense of unease hadn't faded, he nevertheless found himself falling into step behind the other generals. There was a tense mood among them, as if they could all sense that something of critical importance had occurred.

If being allowed to walk freely through Lotor's ship had felt strange, then being allowed to walk freely in Central Command was enough to make his skin crawl. There were other Galra here, not just sentries, like Lotor's flagship, but if any of them spared him a glance, it wasn't because they saw him as an outsider.

He tried to drown out anything that he heard. Most of the chatter, thankfully, was about Lotor. The exiled prince, returning- it was bound to stir up some gossip. In other circumstances, he might actually find himself amused that even the Galra were not immune to it, but as it was, it was all he could do to ignore it.

He still heard the words _red paladin_ spoken.

He forced himself not to react, not to turn in the direction the words had come from, to see who it was. Was it someone who had watched him in the arena? He wasn't sure how long he had been announced as the _red paladin_ there- things started to blur together after awhile. Still, that they had the red paladin of Voltron in their custody was not something they were like to forget.

Now he was here, clad in the armor of one of Lotor's generals. _Free_.

But he'd anticipated this.

Fixing his gaze straight ahead, he left the hushed whispers behind him. Let them think what they wanted. It had been a long time since he'd truly cared about what other people thought of him.

There was Shiro, but... well, one time, he hadn't cared what he thought either. He just had to train himself to do it again. It'd make dealing with the inevitable betrayal easier.

Besides, if they thought he'd joined them, maybe he'd be able to use this. Trust loosened tongues, and there were Galra here from every corner of the universe. One of them probably knew something useful. If he couldn't find Pidge's family using their database, then maybe he could find them the old fashioned way.

(He was ignoring the fact that he wasn't great at talking to people.)

Eventually, they left the whispers behind. It went without saying that he'd never been in this section of the ship before- but he hadn't missed the amount of security that they had passed on their way here. Even just outside, there were druids posted.

Maybe it had been Haggar who had done much of the work on him, but he didn't exactly have any fond memories of the druids either. It was _because_ of one of those faceless bastards that he had ended up here in the first place- what he wouldn't give for a chance to punch their face in.

Would it solve anything? No.

Would it make him feel better? Yes.

Did he even know which druid it was? Not a damn clue.

Haggar came to a halt outside of the grand door. The pair of druids nodded, stepping aside to allow her to enter. Turning back on her heel, he could have sworn that she looked down her nose at him, quite the feat, given that he was now _considerably_ taller than her.

...that part he actually kind of enjoyed.

"Your generals are to remain out here." Haggar instructed.

"I can assure you that none of my generals would-"

She didn't let him finish. "Emperor Zarkon's orders."

He watched the way Lotor grew stiff at her words, before narrowing his eyes. Gaze flickering from him towards Haggar, Keith narrowed his own. Was Zarkon still alive?

If that was true, then it meant the paladins had failed. Biting down on his lip, he couldn't help but feel Haggar's gaze on him, narrowing in assessment. She'd yet to say anything about his presence here, which didn't sit well with him.

"Very well." Lotor said. "Acxa, remain on standby."

Giving the prince a salute, Acxa bowed her head. "As you command."

Inclining his head, Lotor turned on his heel, following Haggar into the chambers beyond. Tilting his head to try and get a better look as to what was in there, he barely got the chance, the doors slamming shut behind them, leaving him with nothing more than the impression of a vast space.

And the uncomfortable feeling of being left behind with two druids.

Glancing their way, his lips twisted into a frown, unable to even so much as tell if they were looking in his direction or not. They didn't even _smell_ different from each other- it was eerie.

"So," Ezor began, leaning back against the wall, her hands folded behind her back, "-what do you think we're here for?"

"Obviously _something_ to do with Voltron." Zethrid said. "You heard the transmission."

He could feel Acxa's glare, but she also wasn't the only one looking at him. Frowning, Keith folded his arms back in front of him, leaning back against the wall. "Don't ask me."

"What, don't have a connection to your kitty anymore?" Ezor inquired.

The question came across as innocent enough, but it still made his fur bristle. Narrowing his eyes, Keith glowered at her. "Like I said, I'm not a paladin anymore."

Frowning, Ezor merely shrugged her shoulders. "Huh. Shame."

Turning his head away, he glowered towards the druids. Maybe he couldn't tell where they were looking, but he swore they were staring at him. Heaving a short sigh, he shut his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He couldn't let his temper get the better of him like this.

Guess he really _wasn't_ any better at talking to the Galra than he was humans. He'd effectively managed to kill all conversation, leaving the hall in an awkward silence. Staring down at his feet, he tried not to think about the way the red lion had reached out to him last night, or what he'd chosen. He knew he'd done the right thing, severing his end of their bond, but the feeling of loss remained.

It was like someone he had known all his life was just... _gone_.

It was funny, really. Red had been a part of his life for a shorter time than even Allura had been, if only by the span of a few hours. And yet, it felt as if he'd known her all his life. Maybe that was just what it was like, the bond between a lion and their paladin.

Now that bond was gone.

But it had been gone for months before now, while he had been a prisoner. He could handle it. Better than risk the lion falling into the Galra's hands.

Letting out a breath, he lifted his head, gazing towards the doors. He couldn't keep moping about something he'd chosen to do himself. She was in better hands now anyways.

He wondered what had happened. If everyone had made it out okay. He hoped so. What he'd told them was true- he had no way of knowing.

But with Shiro in command, he knew that they couldn't have failed. Maybe Voltron could go on without him, but Shiro? It _needed_ Shiro.

* * *

"You know, you really ought to rest."

Looking up at Coran with a frown, Lance knew he had a point. They had just come off of a difficult battle, and the last thing he needed to be doing was burning the midnight oil. Staying up late wasn't exactly his thing- heck, he was pretty sure he was the only one on this ship with normal sleeping habits.

But he just _couldn't_.

Sensing that he wasn't planning on sleeping soon, Coran took the seat across from him. "You know there was nothing you could have done."

"I know," Lance admitted, "I _know_ , but-"

Shoulders slumping, Lance sagged in his chair. It still didn't feel real, to be honest. Even if he knew that all he had to do to see Shiro's prone form was to turn his head, it still felt like this wasn't reality.

Like they _hadn't_ pulled Shiro's barely breathing body out from the black lion. Like he _wasn't_ in stasis in a healing pod, while they tried to figure out what to do. He should have known something was wrong when the black lion stopped responding, but he hadn't thought...

They were just lucky they got to him when they did. Any longer, and he might not have made it. The healing pods were amazing, sure, he was testament enough to that- but they couldn't produce miracles.

"How did we never _notice_?"

Coran just frowned. "I would imagine because Shiro didn't want you to."

There it was, laid out in the open. So simple, and yet he just couldn't accept it. Didn't _want_ to accept it. Shiro, their fearless leader, his _idol_ \- that he would be keeping something like this a secret from them all, it just... he didn't get it.

"He should have told us." Lance said. "We could have-"

Could have what? Helped? The reason he was still in the healing pod was precisely _because_ none of them knew how to help. All it had been able to tell them was that whatever Zarkon had done to the black lion at the very end, it had exacerbated some kind of condition Shiro already had- but it wasn't like the pod could tell them anything about it.

Of course it couldn't. It wasn't calibrated for humans. It could heal their bodies, but it didn't know the first thing about human diseases. Given enough time, it could reverse the damage, but according to what Coran had told them, that might take a long time- _months_ , even.

They didn't even know what condition it _was_. It wasn't like they could just wake Shiro up and ask him.

"Keith probably would have known."

It slipped out, without meaning to. Frankly, he was glad it was just Coran here. It wasn't like bringing up Keith was _taboo_ , but with Shiro in the state he was in... well, it was the same as having lost _another_ paladin.

And he didn't think the black lion would accept a replacement so easily.

"They were close, weren't they?" Coran asked.

"I mean... yeah, I guess." Lance frowned.

Come to think of it, he didn't know what the story was there either. All he had known was that Shiro had somehow been behind Keith getting into the Garrison, and back when he was fourteen, that, and Keith's attitude, had been enough to tick him off. He'd always seemed so smug, like he thought he was _better_ than the rest of them.

Now he was pretty sure it was just because Keith didn't know even like, the rudimentary basics of normal social interaction- and okay, maybe he _did_ also think he was better than them. Like a little. But he hadn't actually been that _smug_ about it, in hindsight.

 _James_ , maybe. But Keith? Yeah, smug didn't really fit.

There was a lot he didn't know about Shiro- or _Keith_ , for that matter. Neither of them exactly talked about themselves a lot, and it wasn't like Keith was even here to-

God. He _was_ in a funk.

This _sucked_. Heck, he should be happy! They'd defeated Zarkon! Maybe they hadn't been able to finish off Central Command like they'd wanted, but they'd done some serious damage to it- he couldn't imagine they'd have it up and running anytime soon. Allura was already working with Kolivan on plans to free planets on the fringes from Galra control.

And she had more reason to be exhausted than _any_ of them. Powering that massive teleduv, on top of piloting the red lion? Getting the quintessence sucked right out of her _couldn't_ have done her any real favors, even if she'd seemed to bounce back from that quicker than the rest of them.

Speaking of Allura, she'd been acting kind of weird, ever since this morning. It kind of felt like there was something on her mind, but she hadn't actually _said_ anything, which for her, was pretty rare. There hadn't been any time to focus on it while they'd been fighting, but he could still kind of feel her hesitation from her end of the bond.

It was weird. Something like that _should_ have affected Voltron, especially with how tenuous their current formation was, but if anything, it felt stronger than ever. Heck, he didn't think it had felt quite that way since Keith had vanished- something which he was trying not to dwell on, thank you very much.

It was a good thing too. He wasn't sure they would have won against Zarkon's weird robot suit if it hadn't been for that.

But it still didn't feel like a _victory_.

Sure, they'd trashed Zarkon's robot, but they didn't actually know if he was _dead,_ not for sure. The Blade of Marmora didn't have a spy in Central Command anymore- yeah, Thace had made it out, but his position had been pretty soundly compromised. And yeah, Kolivan and Antok had been able to destroy that _komar_ thing, but Kolivan had come back from that, alone.

So here they were. Two paladins down- one missing, the other nearly dead. So yeah. Maybe he was in a funk, but for good reason. Maybe... maybe everything was just catching up to him all at once.

Still sucked.

Heaving a sigh, Lance pushed himself to his feet. "You're probably right, Coran. I should get some rest."

"Don't you worry about a thing." Coran assured him. "I'll keep an eye on Number One."

Giving him a weak smile, Lance nodded his head. "Right. Thanks."

Pausing to look at Shiro's pod, he tried not to think about how pale he looked. He knew, objectively, that he couldn't get any worse so long as he was in there, but it still _felt_ like he was paler than he had been an hour ago. Shiro... Shiro shouldn't look like this.

And Keith? Who even knew if he was still alive. Maybe he'd been right. Maybe he _had_ been vaporized by that druid. It wasn't like he _wanted_ to be right- that theory sucked! Sure, maybe he and Keith weren't exactly on the best terms, but it wasn't like he wanted the guy _dead_.

So yeah. This sucked.

* * *

"Well, well, if it isn't Prince Lotor's pet generals."

Snapping his eyes open, Keith turned to glower at the newcomer. He didn't recognize them, but he could tell from their armor that they were of high rank- probably a Commander. They were also probably one of the uglier Galra he'd seen- and he'd seen a lot of ugly Galra.

(Granted, he had no idea what the standards of beauty for Galra even _were_. Didn't exactly care.)

He couldn't tell if it was just his armor, or if both his arms were metal. Given Sendak's, he wasn't willing to dismiss the possibility, especially not since his left eye was also artificial- as well as a section of his _skull_. He'd either suffered a critical injury somewhere, or just really liked being a test subject.

Having _been_ a test subject, he frankly couldn't imagine the latter.

"Commander Branko." Acxa spoke, her posture stiff. "Do you have business with Prince Lotor?"

Merely smirking, the Galra- _Branko_ , if what Acxa had said was right- just eyed them. "No business. Just come to see if the rumors are true."

At once, he felt himself tense. Branko made no attempts to disguise the fact that he was looking at him, and he was grateful his tail was still looped around his waist, otherwise it would doubtlessly be thrashing. From how still Narti kept hers, he was guessing his wasn't supposed to be so animated.

Not like it was _his_ fault. He'd only had it for a few months, so of course he barely knew how to control it.

"So it's true." Branko said. "Lotor was the one who helped the paladin escape."

He'd admit, the fact that had been a rumor took him by surprise. In hindsight, maybe it shouldn't- he was starting to gather that Lotor was infamous for having half-Galra so high up in his ranks. If a half-Galra prisoner went missing, it wasn't exactly unfair to assume it was Lotor's doing.

It didn't make his fur bristle any less.

"And now you wear his colors." Branko observed. "If only I had known, I could have shaken your former comrades to their cores."

Standing up straight at that comment, Keith felt himself growl. He didn't like the idea of the paladins learning what he was doing, but he liked the idea of it being used against them even less. It was something he should have thought of, a hanging possibility, but he hadn't.

"Ah, _there's_ that ferocity!" Branko almost seemed to beam. "I enjoyed seeing it in the arena. Shame I never managed to catch any of your matches live."

"You talk pretty big for someone who lost to Voltron." Ezor cut in. "I'm just surprised to see that you actually dragged yourself back here after _that_ failure."

Zethrid seemed to chuckle. "Heh. Vines."

Ears twitching at that, he felt the tension leave his body. What, so this guy had already lost to Voltron? Was that why he was here? To taunt him to make himself feel better?

Oh. Okay. He could handle that.

(Also, what was that about vines?)

"I thought I heard something about them freeing another planet from Galra control." Keith retorted. "I take it that was you."

He couldn't tell if Branko hadn't expected him to talk back, or just talk at all- but either way, he didn't like it. Stiffening, he glowered at him. "For someone who was replaced, you talk big yourself. Did the paladins find you expendable? No wonder you went slinking off to Lotor, since he's about the only one who would be willing to accept a halfbreed _mutt_ like yourself."

Gritting his teeth, Keith glared at the commander. He wanted to say that they hadn't known about him being half-Galra, but he had to bite that back. He didn't want it to be used against them.

But he couldn't think of any other retorts.

Because the worst part was, he might be right. It was clear that the empire itself held no love for halfbreeds- even if he _was_ stupid enough to consider joining them, but he doubted the rest of the universe would spare him much love either. Especially now that he looked it.

Maybe this _was_ the only place for him.

"I didn't-!"

"Ah, Commander Branko," flinching at Lotor's voice, he turned his gaze back to him, wondering when he'd even left what had to be Zarkon's chambers, "-always a pleasure to see you again. How did things go Olkarion?"

He knew full well how things went on Olkarion- probably the planet in question, but the question was enough to make the commander deflate. Narrowing his eyes, he turned his focus away from him, and onto the Galra prince. "Lotor. I see you haven't changed your habit of picking up the empire's strays."

Lotor didn't so much as blink. He was alone, he noted, no trace of Haggar.

Fine by him. The less he had to deal with that witch, the better. If there was one thing about Lotor he _could_ understand, it was how much he detested the witch, if not exactly _why_.

"You are referring to Keith." Lotor observed, tone cool. "Yes, I admit that I had a hand in freeing him from his imprisonment. But as you can see, he has since sworn his loyalty to me."

Like hell he had.

"To you?" Branko asked, sounding skeptical. "A former paladin? How do you know you can trust him?"

He couldn't. He definitely could not trust him.

"He can be trusted." Lotor stated simply. Something about his tone made him bristle. There was no way Lotor actually believed that, but he had an image he wanted to present. One of taming the half-Galra paladin, the half-feral beast from the arena- or some other bullshit like that. He didn't know.

It was one he didn't have much of a choice to _refute_ , either. Not if he wanted to remain free. The idea of even acting like he was loyal to Lotor was enough to make him nauseous- it might not be the same as swearing his allegiance to the Galra Empire as a whole, but it was still bad.

He just hoped Branko didn't choose to challenge it.

"If you wish to be done in by a feral halfbreed, be my guest." Branko said, apparently not choosing to challenge him today. "It will make the path to the throne that much clearer."

Blinking, Keith's tail twitched. Path to the throne? Had something actually happened to Zarkon, then?

He had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, good. Zarkon needed to be taken out. But with Zarkon out of the picture, the clear line of succession fell to his son, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to be a general to the _Galra Emperor_ yet, even if it did put him in a choice position to gather intelligence.

It would just as likely put him in the path of the paladins, a lot faster than he thought. The encounter with Hunk and Lance in the Weblum had been one thing, but that had been... they hadn't actively been _fighting_ each other. At least, not till the tail end of it, and Lance had been the one who had triggered that conflict, not them.

"You're always welcome to challenge me." Lotor told him. "But I think your talents lie elsewhere."

Okay, he was pretty sure that was just an insult. It was a good one. He'd give Lotor that.

Branko merely narrowed his eyes. "Another time, perhaps."

"Well," Lotor began, "-should you wish to take me up on that challenge, you will know where to find me. But if that is all, I have much to discuss with my... what did you call them again? My pet generals?"

Narrowing his eyes, Keith leveled his gaze with Lotor. Had he been listening from that point?

"That's what he called us." Ezor supplied. "Cute insult."

"Hm." Zethrid frowned. "Needs work."

Grumbling, Branko didn't even try to mask the haste of his departure. Frowning, Keith folded his arms in front of him, feeling more wound up than before. He didn't like the image that was being painted of him- of the treasonous ex-paladin who had decided to throw his lot in with the halfbreed prince- but what choice did he have?

He couldn't even say it was _wrong_.

"Branko's bark has always been worse than his bite." Lotor observed- and for a moment, Keith wondered if he'd picked that up when he'd been studying the English language, or if that expression was simply _that_ universal. "But irregardless, we do, in fact, have much to discus."

"Is this about _daddy dearest_?" Ezor asked, her tone jovial. "Guess Voltron did some damage after all, huh?"

Lotor didn't even blink. "My father is... indisposed, at the moment, yes."

Indisposed. That could mean a lot of things, but he was pretty sure it didn't mean dead.

Leaning in, Ezor didn't even attempt to hide her curiosity. "Am I sensing a promotion?"

"I suppose you could call it that, yes." Lotor said. "While my father recovers, I am to take his place on the throne. Temporarily, of course."

Keith felt himself pale. That was exactly what he _didn't_ want to hear.

Except it also kind of _was_. Lotor's ascension to the throne meant that Shiro's plan- and he was just kind of assuming at this point that it was Shiro's plan- had actually _worked_. With Zarkon out of the picture, Voltron would be able to make headway in dismantling the Galra Empire.

The one that he was sort of part of now.

More than _sort of_. If Lotor was becoming Emperor, that meant he was _definitely_ a part of it. Suffice to say, this was way more than he'd bargained for.

It was also a damn good reason to stick close. If Lotor was going to take over as Emperor, it was more important now than ever to keep tabs on him. Sure, he still hadn't exactly worked out a plan on how to get information _back_ to Voltron, but he'd think of something.

Besides, now he'd get the chance to see firsthand whether or not Lotor actually _meant_ all that talk about peace. He doubted it- at least, he didn't think he didn't have some kind of other ulterior motive behind it.

Lotor, damn him, caught his eye. "Is there a problem?"

"No," narrowing his eyes, Keith straightened his back, looping his tail back around his waist so that it couldn't give him away, "-no problem."

Lotor's gaze lingered for a moment longer, before he turned it away from him- but not before he caught what he could have sworn was a twinkle of amusement. The thought that Lotor might be getting a kick out of this made his fur bristle.

Glad to know _someone_ found his current circumstances amusing.

Heaving a sigh, Keith's shoulders slumped. He couldn't exactly say he hadn't asked for this. Just for some dumb reason, he hadn't expected it to happen so _fast_ \- stupid, really. After all this time, he didn't know how life coming at him fast still caught him by surprise.

Ever since he'd found one of his father's coworkers coming to pick him up from school instead of him, it had always been that way. Anytime there was a lull, it was just bracing itself for something else that would come along and shatter whatever it was that he'd managed to establish for himself. He should be used to this.

But he just hoped, like an idiot, that every time would be the last time.

"Good," Lotor's voice drew him out of his own thoughts, looking up towards the prince-turned-emperor with a frown on his face, "-in that case, as I said, we have much to discuss. There will doubtlessly be... resistance, to the idea of my taking of the throne, however temporary."

So even their halfbreed prince was viewed with disdain, he couldn't help but note.

Maybe that was why his mother had left. Because she didn't want to have to deal with having a _halfbreed_ for a child. Especially not one who looked- or _had_ \- so un-Galra.

"I take it you have a plan." Acxa observed.

"The roots of one, yes." Lotor said. "All we need is a bit of patience."

Patience. Yeah, he could do that.


	10. loyalties

Chapter ten! Double digits! I actually finished this one up last night, but didn't have enough time to edit it, so I left that until today. With that said, here you go! There's a slight time skip between this chapter and the last one of about two weeks, since there definitely seemed to be a time skip between season two and season three in the canon. We're officially in season three now!

As always, thanks for reading! See you next chapter!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter ten**

 **loyalties**

* * *

The cheers were deafening.

Keith closed his eyes, forcing himself not to look. Taking in a deep breath, he reminded himself that he wasn't the one in the pits, not today.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't help.

Gritting his teeth, Keith folded his ears, half grateful that he _could_ now, trying to drown out the cheers. Forcing his eyes open, he fixed them directly ahead, to the match that was playing out below him. Savage as the opponent was, the bout was a far cry from the frenzied matches he'd been thrown into in the arena, with both participants granted the privilege of having a weapon.

But of course they were. One was Lotor.

He didn't understand why anyone would willingly sign themselves up for the arena. What memories he had of it, though fractured and tenuous, were chaotic and repulsive, the kind of thing he'd rather forget. He sort of understood how Shiro's year as a gladiator had all ended up blurring together like it had- though from the sound of it, he'd at least been afforded the thinnest shred of dignity.

He bit his lip, trying to force back the bitter feeling. No. He wasn't doing this. He wasn't weighing Shiro's suffering against his own.

Instead, he focused on the match. It was obvious that Lotor was toying with the gladiator, dancing around him like this was some kind of Broadway production and not a fight with life or death stakes.

Tilting his head, his tail flicked behind him from where he had hidden it inside his cloak. Even with his ears folded, he could still hear the commander's voice from out under the cheers. The one that Lotor had decided to mark for his plan- Commander Throk, a tall, lanky Galra who was not satisfied with the idea of Lotor taking the throne.

The whole plan was nothing but fucking pageantry. If there was one thing he had learned, it was that the Galra Empire actually really _loved_ pageantry. It sounded funny, and it would be, if their choice of pageantry wasn't _absolutely terrifying_.

And he had to be a part of it.

Narrowing his eyes, Keith stared down at his hands. Sure, there was always the chance Lotor might lose, but he didn't think so. If there was one thing that he had managed to glean about the no longer exiled prince, it was that he was always careful to avoid missteps. Which meant by factoring him into his plans, he knew he'd follow through.

The worst part was, he wasn't wrong. He couldn't afford to look _disloyal_ , not while he was present on Central Command. His continued freedom probably depended on it. Even if all he would have to do was stand and salute, it still ate away at him, knowing what the ripple effect of that would be.

They were in the arena. He couldn't help but wonder just how many of these officers had come to see _him_ fight in the past.

They'd know.

And rumors would do what they did- spread.

He didn't know how long it would take until it reached the paladins. If his conversation with Branko from two weeks ago was any indication, there probably were Galra in the chain of command willing to use it against them. They'd have no proof- but just a taunt would be enough.

It'd get them thinking.

And if they started thinking, maybe they'd realize that he was always kind of weird. Even if Shiro stayed quiet about the stuff he knew he'd read on his medical forms, it didn't really matter. I mean, he'd sensed the blue lion's energy in the desert. What part of that was _normal_?

Granted, he didn't know if that was because he was part Galra. But it didn't matter.

Worst case scenario, they would think he'd been working with the Galra from the start. Slightly less worse was that they thought he was a traitor. But fine- he was used to not being liked, even hated. Maybe he'd let himself get a little more attached to the paladins than he thought if he was still worrying about this, but it wouldn't matter. He could handle it.

At least he'd started to gather some actual intelligence. He wasn't stupid enough to venture into Central Command alone, not when Haggar and her druids still lurked, but being this close did give him access to intelligence he didn't have before. Whenever he did, it was usually in the company of one of Lotor's other generals- typically Ezor or Narti, sometimes Zethrid.

Never Acxa.

The feeling of being able to move about Central Command was still as strange as it had been since he'd first stepped on it, but that wasn't exactly something he wanted to get used to. He didn't want to fall into the trap of truly thinking he belonged here- that felt like a slippery slope to wholeheartedly saying _vrepit sa_ and forgetting his own allegiances.

That he'd like to avoid.

He did sort of get used to the whispers, though. He really had been right about Galrans love of gossip- because they were full of it. Some were even willing to talk to _him_. Just because some of them recognized him as the former red paladin, didn't mean all of them did. It seemed to be an exclusive few, who had seen his earliest arena matches, and had stuck with them while his body had slowly been transformed. _Fans_ , in the most twisted of senses. Or maybe they just stuck around in hopes of seeing him getting eviscerated by some beast's horns. Either way, the knowledge turned out to not be as common as he thought.

Most of his information came from foot soldiers, who weren't allowed in the arena, a privilege afforded to those of high rank. They didn't bat an eye at talking to him, probably just regarding him as just another Galra. If they had any apprehension, it was due to his _rank_ , of all things. All it had taken was one well placed, curious question about how he'd heard there had been _other_ human captives at one point, and he'd been able to learn something new.

He'd managed to learn that rebels had sprung Pidge's brother from a work camp months ago. Still no word on her father, other than that he'd been taken to a different work camp, but he'd find him. Who knew? Maybe rebels had already sprung him too.

He'd also learned that there had been a Galran rebel onboard Central Command.

That was only spoken about in the most hushed whispers, so he didn't have a ton of information on the subject. But it had... he didn't know. Just knowing that there was at least _one_ Galra out there who wasn't blindly loyal to Zarkon... it helped. He'd heard further rumors that there was a whole group of them, but well... he'd believe it when he saw it.

Maybe his mother was the same.

All he knew was that they had assisted Voltron with their plan. Something about a virus- from the sound of it, a lot of the lower ranking soldiers didn't know what had happened, not fully. Zarkon had gone out to face Voltron himself in some kind of mechanical armor that the druids had been working with his technicians to build, and had ended up enduring a critical injury.

The jury was still out on just _how_ bad. Aside from Lotor and the druids, he was pretty sure that Haggar hadn't let anyone in to see Zarkon. In light of that, rumors had started to spread- that his injuries were much worse than the witch had claimed, and that he might never return to the throne.

It was also what had spurred on Throk's own plan of seizing it. He wasn't the only one, but from the sound of it, he was the one with the most support. Hence, why Lotor had decided to target him.

Lotor being Emperor? Bad. This _Commander Throk_ being Emperor? Worse.

Calling Lotor a _dangerous lunatic_ for, presumably, allowing conquered planets to continue to rule themselves? Yeah, that was pretty telling.

Look, he didn't like Lotor either. But he still really found himself hoping he'd just wipe the floor with this creep. Especially after his crack about him not having any honor just because he let those who weren't pure Galra have a crack at the command. He didn't even _like_ being part Galra, and he still felt himself taking offense.

Just how obsessed were the Galra with purity anyways?

Cheers rang out as Lotor disarmed the gladiator, felling him. Alone among them, Keith felt his body tense, his breath hitch in his throat. He both heard and felt his heart pounding in his chest, the chorus of cheers mixing in with his memories, bringing back the taste of iron. Swallowing it down, he took in a deep breath, quickly composing himself.

This was the last place he could afford to show weakness.

Maybe he was one of them now, but he didn't doubt that given the chance, the Galra would eat him alive. He wouldn't let them.

Instead he watched the shock on Throk's face as he realized that the small challenger was Prince Lotor. From his vantage point, he had just the right angle to make out the brief flash of disbelief, then apprehension- as if he realized that the timing of this was just too good. When Lotor lifted his sword, unerringly pointing towards where Throk sat in the stands, he watched realization wash over his face.

"Throk," Lotor's voice rang out through the arena, the same kind of orator's skill Allura possessed, "-you wish to challenge me? Then come down and claim your crown."

His words earned hushed whispers and pointed looks, and Lotor gave them all a moment to reach their crest. He was putting the pressure on Throk, ensuring that his challenge was taken.

Lotor did not lower his blade, nor did he waver.

Pageantry.

"True Galra do not take the throne by stirring up insurrection in darkened chambers." Lotor pressed forward, and he felt himself tense, knowing that the moment was soon approaching. "They rise through honorable rite of combat. Defeat me here, and the throne is yours."

Exhaling, Keith rose to his feet, grasping the cloak that concealed him. Thin as it was, it had been his only protection, and now he was about to cast that away.

There was his armor, but that wasn't the sort of protection he meant.

But he did. Because he didn't have a choice. To stay where he was, he had to at least _look_ loyal. And over the past two weeks, there was one thing about Lotor that had become crystal clear to him.

He was dangerous.

Not in the same way Zarkon was- but worse.

Because he knew, that if somehow Lotor had been the one to find him, lost and adrift, rather than Shiro, that even with all his experience, he still would have fallen for everything he said. He would have believed in him- maybe he'd have been skeptical at first, but eventually, his words would have taken root.

And that thought was terrifying.

There was no way he could let him go unchecked. Maybe with him around, Lotor would at least gauge his plans, keeping the fact that he had been a former paladin in mind. He didn't know how much protection that would offer the team, but if it got them any, then it was better to stay right where he was, rather than try to splinter off, and hope for the best with the rebels.

By now, he was certain that the rumors of him becoming one of Lotor's generals had spread throughout Central Command, to even those who hadn't recognized him from the arenas. But even those who did not have a fixed position in the main fleet would come to the arenas, and from there, the rumors would spread. He could already hear them start- some of them only recognizing him as the half-feral halfbreed that had been Haggar's pet gladiator for so long, and others...

It was a good thing he had practice not reacting to the words _red paladin_.

The match went as expected- with Lotor soundly defeating Throk. Even so, he couldn't help but track Throk's moves with his eyes. They were roughly the same size and shape, so even if he'd failed to defeat Lotor, it could still make for decent reference. He'd spent the bulk of the past two weeks, when he hadn't been trying to gather intelligence on the paladins, isolated in the training room, trying to figure out a new way to fight.

The results were... mixed. But he was getting there.

It felt good, having a sword in hand again. He was starting to adjust to his own gait, slowly but surely starting to feel comfortable in his changed skin.

Except when he thought about it too hard, and it all fell to the wayside. Part of him felt like he _shouldn't_ be getting comfortable, clinging to a thin desperate hope that he might be able to turn back to the human he'd once been.

Either way, the reflection in his mirror didn't belong to a stranger anymore.

Sucking in a breath, Keith listened with half an ear to Lotor's grandiose speech. Though he commanded fully the attention of the Galra, Keith still couldn't help but feel eyes on him at his remark that they should allow those who were worthy to rise and join their ranks. He can't help but wonder if he's meant to be an example of that.

The former red paladin, now swearing his allegiance to the Galra Empire. Yeah. Had to be.

Hearing a Galra preach about _allies_ \- Keith could only watch with narrowed eyes, stiff. Lotor might act like he cared about those under his command, but he still didn't buy it.

Victory or death was the Galra way. Anything that was weak wasn't needed. If one of them were to fail him, substantially, he was pretty sure his talk would turn out to be just that- talk.

Like he ever had any doubts.

Still, when the time came, Keith grit his teeth and forced himself to salute. Even as those gathered at the arena steadily rose to their feet, some in waves, doing the same, he still felt sick. Keenly, he was aware that he didn't belong here.

Even if every part of him looked as if it did.

* * *

"That could have gone worse."

Glancing up at Hunk's statement, Pidge merely frowned. "It could have gone a lot better, too."

"At least they liked your pizza rolls." Lance observed, slumping over on the couch, tucking his hands into his pockets. "I'm not really feeling like we sold them on the whole Coalition idea."

Ceasing her typing, Pidge heaved a sigh. She'd pretty much hit an impasse on her search for Matt anyways- until she could figure out who sold nano-thermite titanium-boron, she didn't have any other leads. And as it turned out, that stuff was hard to track down.

"We just have to hope Allura can smooth everything out." Pidge stated. "I... don't think they took the news of us not being able to form Voltron right now very well."

Letting out a snort, Lance rolled his eyes. "That's putting it one way."

"I mean... I kind of get it." Hunk frowned. "The Galra Empire is scary. Voltron's big. They kind of counteract each other, you know?"

"Yeah, but even Voltron can't do anything alone." Pidge observed. "We were only able to get as far as we have because of the Blade of Marmora. We'd have never had a shot at Zarkon without them."

"Yeah, not to mention we couldn't have taken back Puig without them." Lance said. "But try telling that to the _Puigans_."

"But I mean... it's not like this is a permanent thing, right?" Hunk frowned. "Shiro's gonna get better."

He was. He was, but... without knowing what was actually _wrong_ with him, they couldn't even begin to hope to heal him. She hadn't even known Shiro had been _sick_ , and the guy had been practically a legend at her house. Her father, she thought, had to have known- but they were having just as much luck finding him as they were with Keith.

And it wasn't like Shiro could tell them until he finished recuperating. He'd already been in that pod for two weeks, and from the sound of it, he'd probably be in there for two more. He'd taken a hard hit from both his drained quintessence, and whatever medical issue it was that Zarkon had managed to exacerbate, so just recovering from that was a monumental task, even with the healing pods.

Without them, he'd probably be dead.

"Yeah, but until he does, we don't have the black lion." Pidge stated. "And it's not like we can find a replacement paladin for him, like we did with..."

She trailed off there, her voice faltering. Shutting her laptop, she closed her eyes. They all knew what they had done- they'd _replaced_ Keith. Even if they had never stopped looking for him, it didn't change the fact that they'd done that.

It felt unfair to Allura, too. Constantly painting her as Keith's replacement. Like she wasn't a real part of the team- even though at this point, she'd been flying the red lion for longer than Keith ever had.

It was a sobering thought.

"I'm guessing you didn't find anything about Keith in those prison records." Lance noted.

Shaking her head, Pidge just frowned. "No. It's like he just vanished. I thought with the Blade as our allies now, we might stand a better shot at finding him but..."

"Guess the Galra don't want us to track him down that easy." Lance noted. "You know, it's weird. Sure, it was one thing before, when Allura hadn't... you know, but now? You would think at this point, they'd like, ease up on the information control a bit."

Frowning, Pidge looked up at him. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know." Lance said. "It's just been bugging me."

"He's kind of got a point." Hunk admitted. "They're _really_ putting in an effort to hide him."

"Provided he's not dead." Lance muttered.

"No." Pidge said, resolutely. "He's not. The red lion would have sensed it."

"Unless it has, and Allura just hasn't told us." Lance pointed out.

"Allura wouldn't do that." Hunk said.

"I mean, she didn't tell us about Zarkon being the black lion's former paladin until he started hunting us down across galaxies with the thing." Lance remarked. "I'm just saying- maybe she's just trying to spare our feelings."

Face falling, as much as Pidge wanted to agree with him, Lance had a point. Even so...

"No," Pidge said, "-she would have told Shiro, at least. And Shiro would have told us. Keith _has_ to still be alive. We can't give up on him."

The lounge fell into silence after that. Staring down at her hands, she couldn't help but feel frustrated, like there was something more that she could be doing. But there wasn't. With just four active lions, their forces had been spread thin. Just liberating the few planets they had took up most of them, even _with_ the Blade of Marmora.

Not every fight had been as easy as Puig.

Which meant they needed this Coalition now more than ever.

"You know, it's funny." Lance said. "A year ago, I would have laughed if anyone told me I'd care about mullet this much."

She hadn't even _known_ Keith a year ago. Even now, she still didn't know him that well. He'd always been... well, he'd made an effort, she could tell that much, but he still sort of kept to the fringes, especially after they had left Arus. She can still remember the way he blew up at her when she'd wanted to leave to find her family.

God, Keith's family.

He'd never mentioned them, even once. But he had to have a family, right? How were they going to explain this to them, once they got back to Earth?

 _If_ they ever got back to Earth.

And that was starting to look like a big _if_.

"Who knows?" Hunk said. "Maybe- maybe we'll have a breakthrough. Surprise Shiro when he gets out of the pod. Just... hey look, we found Keith!"

She couldn't help but wish she had Hunk's optimism. That said, it had taken her nearly eight months to find even a trace of Matt- so that wasn't to say it was impossible.

"Yeah, well, mullet better be grateful for all the effort we put into finding him." Lance said- though it was clear he didn't mean it. Of course they would look for Keith. Maybe they didn't know him that well, but he was still a part of this time- still the red paladin.

Maybe Allura flew the red lion for now, but it didn't change that fact.

* * *

He didn't expect Lotor to call on him so soon after his speech.

It was to his admitted relief that he had decided to opt out of taking up quarters on Central Command, but had instead chosen to remain on his flagship. After his theatrical display in the gladiator arena, grandiose speech and all, his flagship had departed from Central Command. He'd done what he'd came there to do, and now it was time to leave.

They were headed for the Paglium quadrant. He sort of had an idea as to where that was- he had been making himself familiar with the Empire's star maps.

He'd also been trying to learn Galran. He'd been frustrated to learn that Lotor had anticipated this, and had already pre-set the ship with a tutorial program in English. He shouldn't have been, it should have been an obvious assumption to make, but he still didn't like the idea of Lotor thinking two, three steps ahead of him.

At the very least, it had kept him busy during his time on Central Command. In between learning about the Empire, trying to gain intelligence, and training, he'd had very little time to think. Which wasn't to say he hadn't been- just... not so many personal thoughts.

He'd learned that while he'd been out in the desert. If he kept himself busy, he wouldn't have to dwell on Shiro's loss. If he kept himself busy now, he wouldn't have time to dwell on the loss of his own humanity.

"Ah, Keith, there you are." Lotor said, as if he hadn't been the one to call him to the bridge. "I have a question for you."

Tilting his head, Keith blinked. That was new.

He hadn't responded, but Lotor pressed forward anyways. "Are you familiar with the Blade of Marmora?"

"No." Keith automatically replied- because he hadn't.

Lotor said nothing, instead merely leaning back in his chair. "You are certain?"

"Yes." Keith stated, wondering what this was about.

"Very well, I believe you." Lotor said. "Might I see your knife?"

Tensing, Keith felt his fur bristle. What did Lotor want with his knife?

"You don't have to worry." Lotor said. "I intend to give it back."

Frowning, he still didn't trust that. But in the end, he reached behind him, pulling it from its new sheath. He had been able to obtain one while on Central Command, plain black with no frills. Setting down the knife in front of Lotor, he folded his arms in front of him, waiting to see what it was that he would do with it.

Carefully picking it up, Lotor studied the blade. "Do you know what this is made out of?"

"No." Keith replied.

"Luxite." Lotor told him. "Very rare."

He didn't say anything to that, instead watching as Lotor began to work at the bandages that concealed the hilt. He bristled at that, fighting the urge to tell him to stop. It wasn't like there was any point to hiding the symbol on the hilt- it was just some Galra symbol.

Merely lifting a brow at the sight of the glowing sigil, Lotor placed the knife down on the table in front of him. "You truly do not know what this knife is?"

"No." Keith told him.

All he knew was that it was his mother's. But he wasn't going to tell him _that_. He probably already had guessed that much anyways.

Merely letting out a hum, Lotor looked as if he were debating something. "I believe your mother was a member of the Blade of Marmora."

"Like I said, I don't know what that is." Keith said.

"Patience now." Lotor chided him- and he felt his skin crawl at hearing that word leave Lotor's lips. "I am sure that while you were snooping around for information in regards to the paladins, you heard rumor of there being some sort of resistance movement within the Galra Empire itself."

Tail twitching, Keith frowned. It wasn't like he was surprised Lotor had known what he was up to, but it bothered him how casually he had said it. "I might have."

"That would be the Blade of Marmora." Lotor told him.

For a second, Keith couldn't quite process what he had told him, trying in vain to connect the dots. Sure, he had been hoping that his mother hadn't been a part of the Empire, but he'd thought it was just naive hope.

He didn't actually expect it to be _true_.

His next reaction was to get defensive. "I don't know anything about her."

"Oh, I imagine you don't." Lotor said, making it sound so simple. "I just merely wanted to confirm my own suspicions."

Watching with one eye as Lotor carefully wrapped the hilt of the blade back up, Keith mulled over this revelation. Sure, he was glad to hear his mom wasn't some Zarkon fanatic, but it still didn't answer the most important question- namely, who she was.

Or why she had left him.

He tried really hard not to think what she would think of what he was up to.

Handing him back his knife, Keith quickly took it, sheathing it behind him without any hesitation. "Is that all?"

"For now, yes." Lotor told him. "We will be having a briefing once we reach the Paglium quadrant. There is much work to be done, so you may be quite occupied for some time."

He tried not to overthink that comment. Had Lotor known he was purposefully keeping himself busy?

He pushed it aside, instead giving him a curt nod. "Understood."

"Good." Lotor told him. "That is all for now."

Taking that as the dismissal it was meant to be, Keith didn't waste any time in leaving. It wasn't until he returned to his quarters that he dared to draw his knife, tearing away at the wrappings to study the sigil for himself.

Rebel.

His mother was a rebel.

Falling back on his bed, he groaned, rolling on his side, his tail grateful to be freed. It looped itself over his torso, twitching as he studied the blade itself. For so long, it had been a huge mystery to him, so to have it solved, just like that...

And yet, he still had questions.

The Blade of Marmora.

Just who were they, exactly?

* * *

"He's coming around."

Though he had returned from his mission alive, Thace had sustained injuries from one of Haggar's druids. They had been substantial, enough to require the use of a stasis pod to fully stabilize his condition, until he was well enough to recover on his own strength. Princess Allura had offered the use of one of her healing pods, but he had refused- Thace's condition had not been quite that serious, and he'd rather keep his operatives close.

Still, it had taken him two full movements to recover enough to be brought out of stasis. Kolivan had briefed their medical staff to inform him when he started waking up, so that he might be there.

After losing Ulaz and Antok, losing Thace would have been a heavy blow to the Blade of Marmora. He was only glad it hadn't come to that.

For a long moment, Thace struggled to place his whereabouts- before his eyes fell on his face. "Kolivan."

"Thace." Kolivan said simply, remaining impassive, though in truth, he was relieved. Antok had been his right hand for centuries, so to see him fall in battle...

It was not something that got easier.

"The mission...?"

"We were able to substantially damage Central Command, but were unable to destroy it." Kolivan said simply. "The paladins were, however, able to strike a decisive blow against Zarkon, though we do not know yet if he is dead."

Unable to take command, at least. Death would have been optimal, but this at least afforded them an opportunity.

Seeming more at ease now that he had heard that, Thace sunk back into the cot. "Good."

"Now," turning his head so that he could look up at him properly, Thace frowned, "-what is that you aren't telling me, old friend?"

Kolivan did not drop his gaze. "The black paladin's condition is critical. He is expected to recover, but it will take up to two full movements longer."

"I take it that it's already been two full movements then." Thace observed.

"Yes." Kolivan said simply, seeing no reason to lie. "We had to put you in stasis, due to the extent of your injuries."

"So I gathered." Thace observed. "What else are you not telling me?"

Merely frowning, Kolivan still did not drop his gaze. "Antok did not make it back from our assault on the komar."

Now Thace's expression turned grave. "I see."

Silence lingered for a long moment, before Thace chose to break it. "...and the komar?"

"Destroyed." Kolivan reported. "Princess Allura saw to it."

"The Altean princess." Thace noted. "Never thought I would see they day there were Alteans among us again."

There had been one, of course- Prince Lotor. Narrowing his eyes at the thought of the prince, Kolivan ran through the rumors that they had been picking up. Chief among them was that Prince Lotor had been summoned to Central Command.

Without a spy in their ranks, he was not able to say what for. But it was not hard to make a few assumptions.

"News of Zarkon's defeat at the hands of the paladins has spread." Kolivan informed him. "They are already acting to take advantage of this momentum. Several previously Galra occupied planets have been freed already."

"Heartening news, my friend." Thace observed. "Yet there still remains something you have not yet told me."

Studying Thace, Kolivan assessed his next words. Though he had gained rank and access within Central Command, there were still many things that Thace had been kept out of. He did not know if telling him would be of any use, but only a fool would fail to divulge important information simply because they assumed it would be pointless.

Thousands of years past his natural lifespan, and the universe still managed to be full of surprises.

"The rumors were true."

It took Thace a moment to assess those words. Once he did, he pushed himself to set up, feet hanging out of the cot. "Regarding the red paladin?"

"Yes."

They had picked up on them, nearly half a deca-phoeb ago. That the red paladin of Voltron had vanished, leaving the paladins that remained unable to form the mighty warrior. When the red lion began to reappear, and Voltron with it, they assumed that they had either simply been rumors- or that perhaps the red paladin had sustained some form of injury, and had been recovering.

None of their intelligence had indicated that the Empire was in possession of him.

Yet as it turned out, that had not been true. The red lion still flew simply because its paladin had been replaced- and the paladins that remained had been searching for their missing comrade ever since.

Keith Kogane, a boy from Earth. Eighteen cycles old, on the cusp of adulthood for a human. From the sound of it, he possessed a strong connection to the black paladin.

And he had been taken by the Empire. Even worse, by a _druid_.

It did not speak well as to his odds of survival.

Even so, it was strange that the Empire had kept it so well under wraps. It didn't fit with how they normally operated.

Narrowing his eyes, Thace frowned. He recognized that contemplative expression, one he knew so well when Thace was hesitating to express something he felt that would be troubling.

"Now who is it that is not saying everything."

To his credit, Thace merely let out a faint laugh. There was no humor to it, however.

"There were rumors," he began, "-of a prisoner from the general block that Haggar had taken an interest in."

Kolivan frowned. That was not unusual, from what he knew, but he was certain that Thace was going somewhere with this, so he simply let him continue.

"I was never able to see him myself, but it would seem that she had them fighting against arena beasts." Thace told him. "From what I was able to learn, he was a rebel of some kind."

Kolivan merely blinked at that. "And they are still alive?"

"Unknown." Thace stated. "They seem to have disappeared."

His frown deepening, Kolivan considered this. "And you believe this could be the missing red paladin?"

"There were rumors. At his first few matches, some say he was announced as such, but there was never any proof." Thace said, his brow furrowing. "These new paladins... they are humans, correct?"

Lifting his brows, Kolivan studded Thace. "Yes."

"Then it cannot be." Thace said simply. "The rebel was part Galra."

"That is highly unusual." Kolivan stated. "Most are with us."

But even so, he couldn't help but think that there had been Galra presence on Earth. One of their own operatives, Krolia, had been stationed there for nearly two deca-phoebs, after being stranded due to the loss of her ship. When she was finally able to return to base, she had informed him that she had located the blue lion on Earth, and that she had destroyed a secondary scouting party that had tracked it down.

He doubted she would have left any of the scouts alive.

And he did not believe that Krolia would have left out something as important as having had a child. Not when she had informed him of the loss of her luxite blade- it had disappeared during the crash, and she had since been unable to find it. In all likelihood, it had sunk somewhere into the sands of the desert terrain in which she had crashed.

It was unthinkable to believe that she could have lied.

Beyond that, the paladins would have likely noticed if one of their own was part Galra. Given the initial disdain the Altean princess had towards him, he found it difficult to believe that she would have allowed one to fly what once had been her father's lion.

And yet, something about this sat uneasily in the pit of his stomach. Experience dictated that was not something to be ignored.

He knew what it was too, his mind already forming the connection.

A part Galra rebel, a gladiator, one who had gone missing.

Prince Lotor's new general.

Kolivan was not a man who believed in coincidence. He just didn't like what this one seemed to imply.


	11. puig

Chapter eleven, hot off the presses! My oh my, are things ever getting hot in here. The situation is heating up! We're all set for our first real confrontation, but how will it go? Exciting stuff, if I do say so myself! As always, thanks for reading, and I'll see y'all next update~!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter eleven**

 **puig**

* * *

He was still studying his knife when they reached the Paglium quadrant. Hastily re-wrapping the bandages and sheathing it, Keith hauled himself to his feet, making his way towards the bridge. He didn't know what Lotor's interest was in this section of space, but he could make a pretty good guess.

Rumor was, several planets in the quadrant had been freed recently by Voltron.

He was the last to arrive on the bridge, and he could feel Acxa's eyes lock onto him the minute he entered. Ignoring it, he fell into place, folding his arms in front of him. Whatever Lotor did here, it would be his first act as Emperor, so he was paying close attention.

"Now that we're all here," Lotor began, "-I would like to go over our... angle of approach."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith's tail flicked. "You don't have dance around the subject just because I'm here."

Inclining his brows, Lotor briefly glanced in his direction. "Very well then. In that case- Acxa, if you would?"

Giving Lotor a stern nod of her head, she stepped forward, bringing up a display. It was a planet, one that reminded him almost of a hollowed out apple core. "According to our intelligence, Voltron and its allies recently freed this planet from Galra control."

"Planet Puig." Lotor remarked. "It is our destination."

No matter how much he wanted to cut in, Keith instead bit his tongue. He knew that coming up against Voltron at some point was inevitable- the Weblum had been a sharp reminder of that, one that he hadn't forgotten.

"Our aim is to retake the planet." Lotor stated. "It will serve a twofold purpose. The first, of course, is to appease the denizens of the Empire. The second is to draw out Voltron, so that we may confirm some... _rumors_ that I have been hearing as of late."

Ears twitching, Keith perked up at that. "Rumors?"

Lotor's expression remained perfectly neutral. "Yes."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith frowned. Didn't sound like he was going to share.

"Of course, I intend to take back the planet in name only, shall we say." Lotor continued, unperturbed by his interruption. "Our main goal is to confirm the current status of Voltron after their fight with my father, and to perhaps remind them that it is far from wise to spread their forces so thin."

Sounded diplomatic. Guess he _was_ holding back because he was here.

"And the people?" Keith asked.

"I intend for this to be a bloodless conquest, if possible." Lotor noted. "Naturally, I will make an offer of allegiance to the Puigan leader, though I am... _skeptical_ he will accept it."

"So what you're saying is, I can't rip off anyone's limbs." Zethrid frowned.

"Perhaps another time." Lotor merely stated. "I would much rather this end with the Puigans having all their limbs accounted for, preferably in their... correct location."

Narrowing her eyes, Zethrid grumbled, but seemed to accept Lotor's command.

"After Puig is under our control, we shall question its inhabitants, and decide on our next course of action from there." Lotor said. "Acxa, Narti, Zethrid- the three of you will round up prisoners. Remember, we want them all _alive_."

That last one felt like it was directed towards Zethrid specifically.

"Ezor, you will capture the Puigan leader." Lotor stated. "As for Keith... I would like for you to assist Acxa."

Tensing, Keith merely gave a curt nod of his head. "Understood."

Acxa's gaze briefly flickered his way, narrowing in unmasked suspicion. He returned it, schooling his own to be perfectly neutral.

He could do this. As long as he didn't have to kill anyone, it would be fine.

There was a difference between killing nameless beasts and sentient aliens, and he didn't really want to find out if he'd become capable of the latter just yet. Even when he had been _fighting_ the Galra, he hadn't taken any lives- not _directly_ , at least.

He wasn't kidding himself, trying to pretend that no one had died when they destroyed Sendak's cruiser. Or when they had shot down the cruiser over the Balmera. But that was still different than actually say, stabbing someone to death.

At least, that was what he told himself.

"Good." Lotor said, rising to his feet. "Once you have taken Puig's leader, I will join you. We will strike quickly, and without warning. Ezor, it is imperative that you locate the leader _before_ he has a chance to contact Voltron."

"I think I can handle that." Ezor said.

"See to it that you do." Lotor directed.

Closing his eyes, Keith drew in a long breath. He could do this. He _had_ to do this- it wasn't like he had much of a choice.

* * *

Just freefall out of a cruiser. Right.

To be fair, he'd pulled some crazy stunts in the past, but none of those had involved plummeting to the Earth at a breakneck speed with only a pair of thrusters to slow his descent. The cliff dive didn't even come close.

And yet, he couldn't deny the way it got his heart pounding, adrenaline kicking in. He hadn't exactly had much of a chance to test the limits of his new form, so this was about as good a chance as any. He barely even had to use his thrusters, and probably would have been fine without them- which yeah, that was a thing.

Guess his bones must have gotten a lot stronger.

Rising to his feet, he took stock of where they had landed. It was some kind of city, one that showed scars from a recent battle- from the look of it, they had interrupted their restoration efforts. He felt his lips tighten in a frown, but forced himself not to think about it too hard.

"Ezor," Acxa's voice cracked over the coms, "-find the leader. Narti, Zethrid, Keith, take prisoners. Kill no one."

Her orders were an echo of Lotor's, but she spoke them with authority. Guess that was why she was considered his right hand.

It wasn't a thought he had long to dwell on, because he quickly found himself under attack. Ducking a laser blast, Keith pivoted on his heel, reaching for his bayard on instinct, gray and red sword forming at his call. They had some kind of Galran blaster, probably remnants from forces that Voltron had chased out.

It dimly occurred to him that this was the first real fight he'd been in since he'd left the arenas behind. And it was the first fight he'd fought using an actual _weapon_ since he had been captured eight months ago.

Right. Guess that was one way to get back into the swing of things.

His speed had comparatively decreased from before, but he wasn't exactly _slow_ , either. With enough time, he could probably get back up to where he had been before his transformation- but right now, it was fast enough to catch the Puigans off guard. He was guessing they weren't exactly known for their quick reflexes.

There were three of them, but only two had blasters. He targeted one of the ones who did first, slamming his knee into the pit of their stomach, in hopes of knocking them out. It worked- maybe a little too well, he thought, and made a mental note to try and dial back his strength.

He'd always been strong- _too_ strong, given his frame- but now he definitely packed a serious punch. If his tail alone could pick up Ezor and throw her, then he couldn't even imagine how much stronger the rest of him was.

Knocking the remaining blaster out of the second Puigan's hands, Keith took a little more care when it came to knocking them out. The third one was the easiest, giving him a bit of space to breathe- and to check on the first one.

Okay, still breathing. Good. They... _might_ have a few broken bones, but they'd probably be fine. At least, he hoped.

Tying them up, he leaned them up against a wall, muttering his apologies. He doubted they'd be able to hear them, but it at least served to make him feel better.

The Puigans, unprepared for the assault was they were, didn't put up much resistance- though they did try. Ezor quickly found the leader- inside the biggest bunker, overlooking the village. Banishing his bayard sword, he hooked it back onto his belt, vaguely grateful that at first glance, its shape wouldn't be recognizable to an outsider.

At least, he hoped.

"Finish your tasks, and meet me at the central bunker." Lotor's voice directed over the coms, and he narrowed his eyes, half tempted to just rip the thing out of his ear rather than hear that honey sweet voice inside of it. "We have much to discuss with their leader."

Discuss. Yeah. Right.

He didn't expect Zethrid to aggressively ruffle his hair when they crossed paths, each making their way to the central bunker. "For your first mission, you did pretty good, kid."

Shooting her a glare, Keith said nothing, instead opting to try and fix his hair. His tail flicked behind him, expressing his irritation for him. The last thing he wanted was to be affectionately called _kid_ by a Galra.

(Shiro was the only person who had that privilege- at least, the only person _alive_.)

As they approached the central bunker, he became keenly aware that his face was exposed. The thought briefly sent a surge of panic through him- before he exhaled, reminding himself that he wasn't exactly instantly recognizable, even _with_ the haircut. It was still sloppy- he'd never exactly bothered to fix it.

If even the paladins might have trouble recognizing him, there was no way in hell someone he had never met would. He doubted they were exactly showing his photo around on every planet they went- and even if for some reason they had been, he still doubted anyone would put two and two together.

At least, not yet.

Lotor was already waiting for them outside of the central bunker. He caught his eye briefly, before looking away just as quick- though he could have sworn in that split second, the prince had looked downright _smug_. Unable to help it, he felt his fur raise, tail lashing wildly behind him.

Don't treat this like some kind of fucking victory, he wanted to yell. But instead he bit down on his tongue, forcing himself to keep quiet.

Instead he tried to keep his head held high, listening with half an ear as Lotor spoke to the Puigan leader. He had to admire to his guts- sticking to his beliefs, insisting that they were a free people, even when faced down with five armored Galra.

 _Six_ , he reminded himself.

It was six.

It stung, but he forced himself not to look away. Whatever his motivations were, he was compliant in this, so he had no right to do otherwise. All that would be was just taking the easy way out.

Lotor was right about one thing, at least- even when offered an alliance, the Puigan leader refused. He held his ground, even though it was clear he was scared out of his wits.

But to Lotor, it didn't matter at all.

"Very well, then." Lotor said simply. "You've made your choice. Ezor, find somewhere to detain him. We may yet be in need of his services."

Narrowing his eyes at that comment, Keith frowned. What _was_ Lotor's plan here, anyways? Taking back the planet he could understand, but if he wanted to draw Voltron in, wouldn't it have been better to give the Puigans a chance to actually contact them?

He must have some other card up his sleeve, Keith realized- and that thought sat uneasily with him. He didn't like not knowing, especially when Lotor was involved.

Maybe he just wanted a chance to gather intelligence first. And that... didn't sound wrong, but it didn't sound entirely _right_ , either.

"As for the rest of you," Lotor began, "-I want you to spread out. There may yet be those who would attempt to resist us. Find them, and deal with them accordingly. But remember- you are to kill no one."

Saluting, Acxa gave him a firm nod of her head. "Understood."

"When you are done, rendezvous back on the ship so we can discuss anything you might have learned." Lotor instructed. "Remember, we are looking for information about Voltron."

"What about that rebel group?" Ezor piped up. "The Blade of Marmora?"

"You can ask about them if you wish, but our main objective is Voltron." Lotor stated.

"How are we supposed to know what to ask if you don't even tell us what you're looking for?" Keith asked.

Leveling his gaze on him, Lotor didn't so much as blink. "I will know."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith fought the urge to just yell at him about being purposefully vague. It wasn't like it would get him anywhere.

"Fine," Keith said, "-guess we'll ask vague questions."

"You needn't worry." Lotor assured him. "I will share in good time."

Yeah, well he'd like it if he'd do it _now_. If it was related to Voltron, it was related to him- maybe he was an ex-paladin traitor, but that didn't mean he wasn't worried about his former team. That was the whole reason he had agreed to all this in the first place.

But he couldn't say that, not here. Not in the presence of the Puigan leader, who was watching their exchange with a small hint of curiosity. He inwardly flinched at that- the last thing he wanted to do was draw overt attention to himself, and he'd done just that.

Still, he doubted the paladins would put two and two together just based off his description alone. After all, when he'd been with them, he'd been human- or at least, he'd _looked_ the part. Now he was a seven foot something Galra, so... yeah. Big difference.

But he still definitely wasn't helping himself.

So instead, he just gave Lotor a wordless nod of his head, which the prince accepted.

"I will leave you in charge here, Acxa." Lotor told her. "I trust that you will ensure things progress smoothly."

"I won't let you down." Acxa promised.

"See to it that you do not."

With that said, Lotor departed. Guess he didn't want to get his hands dirty- so much for fighting alongside his enlisted men.

"You heard Lotor," Acxa began once the prince was gone, "-spread out and search for any remaining members of the resistance. Ezor, once you're done with their leader, come join us."

"After missing out on all the action?" Ezor asked. "I'll finish this up _real_ quick~."

"We will never tell you what we know about Voltron." The Puigan leader insisted.

"Aw, that's what they all say!" Ezor all but chirped. "But don't worry, we've got ways of making you talk."

In spite of himself, Keith felt himself bristle. He wasn't stupid, he knew exactly what she was implying- and so did the Puigan leader, judging from the spark of fear in his eyes.

" _Ezor_." Acxa's tone was harsh. "You heard Lotor. We don't want any blood spilled today."

Frowning, Ezor's face fell. "Fine. Just spoil the fun, why don't you?"

Looking towards Acxa, he didn't miss the way she narrowed her eyes. "I mean it, Ezor."

Brows furrowing, Keith couldn't help but study Acxa. The one thing he'd gathered about her aside from the fact that she didn't trust him, was just how _loyal_ she was to Lotor. And maybe that was all this was about- her loyalty ensuring that she stuck to the exact letter of his orders.

But it felt... almost genuine.

Like she didn't _want_ to see any blood spilled.

He shook off the thought- she was still Galra, a servant of the Empire, so he doubted it. If he weren't here, he doubted Lotor would have aimed for a bloodless conquest, and she would have just as easily gone along with that.

Acxa caught his gaze, leveling her own, having to lift her chin in order to do so. Idly, he wondered what she was mixed with- he only knew that Ezor came from a jungle-like planet, with brightly colored plant life, and only because she had mentioned it in passing. Other than that, he knew next to nothing about the other generals.

He hadn't really bothered to ask.

"The same goes for you. Follow orders." Acxa stated. "You swore an oath to Lotor. Do not allow any other allegiances you might hold to get in the way."

Biting back a comment that he had sworn no such oath, Keith instead nodded. He couldn't exactly deny the part about _other allegiances_. "I haven't yet."

He couldn't tell if she was satisfied with that or not, but she at least wasn't willing to press the issue. "See to it that it stays that way."

Stalking out, Acxa didn't so much as glance back at him. Heaving a slight sigh, he felt his shoulders slump- before he chose to leave, before anyone else could have the chance to talk to him. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to bring up his name- maybe he really _should_ consider getting an alias.

Probably too late for that anyways.

* * *

"Has there been any change?"

"I'm afraid not, princess." Coran told her. "Though his condition is steadily improving, it will be some time before he is fully recovered."

Heaving a sigh, Allura felt her shoulders slump, staring up at the healing pod. She wished that there was more they could do, but without a full understanding of human biology, there was only so much they could accomplish. Perhaps if Shiro woke up, they would be able to discuss the matter with him, but until he did, all they had was their best guesswork.

And that could only take them so far.

"I'll keep at it, princess." Coran assured her. "Why don't you take a bit of a rest? You and the paladins have been working awfully hard, as of late. Perhaps a bit of downtime would do you all good."

"We cannot afford to rest." Allura stated. "We do not know how long things with continue as they have been. It is imperative that we take advantage of this chance to free as many planets as we possibly can."

But in truth, she knew he was right. Things had been rather difficult as of late. Without the black lion, without _Shiro_ , they were unable to form Voltron- and even if it was only temporary, she knew that it left them vulnerable.

But they- _she_ \- simply could not afford to rest. There was much work yet to be done, with the Coalition in such a fragile state as it was. Besides, if she took the time to rest, she might start thinking again. And as of late, her thoughts had been going in a rather... _unpleasant_ direction.

She had held it together during their fight against Zarkon out of pure necessity. She was already a replacement- she could not afford to be the weak link.

Except that was the whole root of the issue.

She _wasn't_ a replacement. At least, not anymore.

She had known ever since the night before the battle, when the red lion had _roared_ , soul deep. It was in mourning, she recognized- the bond that it had possessed with Keith had been severed, and from that, she could only conclude one thing.

Keith was dead.

She'd meant to tell the other paladins. Truly, she had. They deserved to know the truth. But there was no way she could possibly tell them, not when they were about to face their greatest challenge yet. It would destroy them.

After, she had decided. She would tell them after the battle.

But then, with Shiro in the condition he was in, and Zarkon's fate uncertain... she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it. Perhaps it was fortunate that they were currently unable to form Voltron, in that sense.

But she must. She could not hide this forever.

Just... not yet. Once Shiro woke, perhaps. She imagined that they would be furious with her for keeping the truth hidden for so long, but what choice did she have? To tell them of his fate now would crush them.

She felt like a failure enough as it was already.

The red lion had accepted her as its paladin, fully- and yet she could find no joy in it. She doubted she ever would. It just felt like a burden. Nothing glorious about it.

Heaving a sigh, Allura's shoulders slumped. Apparently, keeping herself busy did not, in fact, keep her from dwelling on it.

"Perhaps you are right, Coran." Allura said. "Perhaps we _should_ take a short rest."

"That's the spirit, princess." Coran told her. "Perhaps you could get the paladins to teach you one of those Earth card games?"

She gave him a weak smile. "Perhaps."

But no amount of rest could bring back the dead.

* * *

Turned out, the Puigans weren't exactly wild about being asked questions.

It was probably a good thing he'd built up thick skin, otherwise being spat at in the face and called _Galra scum_ probably would have stung more. As far as he saw it, they had the right to it. Just because he was a former paladin, it didn't mean anything.

Not like any of them even knew that, anyways.

Still, he did manage to gather _some_ information. It had been the blue and yellow lions who had freed Puig, along with a strike force composed of that Galran resistance group that Lotor had mentioned- the Blade of Marmora. He'd perked up at that, fresh questions in his mind due to the recent revelation, but he didn't dare ask.

Even if he did, what would he say? He didn't know the first thing about his mother, other than the fact that she was Galra and, apparently, a rebel. That wasn't a lot to go off of.

He wasn't even sure he _wanted_ to find her anyways. She'd made her choice years ago, and it had been to leave him and his father behind. He didn't know what she was even doing on Earth, but he suspected it had to do with the blue lion. Maybe his father was just a way of passing time while she was doing that, and he had been an unexpected consequence.

It was an easy thing to believe.

It took roughly only two hours to round up the last members of the resistance, and he spent the entire time trying not to think too hard about what he was doing. Later, he'd probably dwell on it, but for now, he couldn't afford to look weak.

That was a lesson his time in foster care had taught him unfortunately well.

Don't look weak. Don't trust anyone. Always be on your guard. If you don't look out for yourself, no one else will.

Just when he thought he'd found a place where he could finally relax, all of it came crashing down. And it had been his own fault in the end- he'd been the one who had chosen to chase after that druid. Lance had tried to talk him out of it, but he hadn't listened- hadn't even bothered to acknowledge him.

He didn't know about the other paladins, but Lance at least was probably happy he was gone.

* * *

He was somehow, again, the last one to report to the bridge.

"Ah, Keith," Lotor looked up, "-good of you to join us. I take it there were no issues on your end?"

"No." He said flatly, crossing his arms. "It went fine."

"Excellent." Lotor said. "What of their rebellion?"

"Crushed." Zethrid stated, with bone chilling simplicity.

"As for the locations of the Voltron lions," Acxa began, bringing up a star map consisting of several quadrants, "-we've had reports of yellow and blue in the Paglium quadrant," tapping the screen, icon indicators of the aforementioned lions popped up in the corresponding location on the star map- Puig, he realized, "-and the green one here, here, and here."

Pidge. Probably looking for her family, he thought.

"As for the red lion," and he couldn't deny the way he straightened at the mention of his former lion, causing Acxa to briefly narrow her eyes, "-has been seen in all quadrants in which Voltron has freed planets."

"We believe its new pilot to be the Altean princess." She added.

Keith tried not to look fazed. It wasn't hard- he already knew as much from his not-dream. Guess it had been real after all.

Still... something was wrong here.

"No black lion?" Lotor inquired.

Instinctively, he felt himself swallow. He tried not to react, even though he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

 _Shiro_.

"We've questioned the planet's inhabitants." Acxa reported. "No one has seen it."

"It's like it just vanished." Ezor quipped, making it sound so simple. " _Poof_."

"No black lion, no Voltron." Lotor observed, lifting his head from where he had rested it on his hand. "Narti. Go to planet Puig and... speak with their leader."

He barely even heard him. All he could think about was Shiro. Why had no one seen the black lion? Had it just not been needed? Maybe it had just taken damage in the last fight, and Shiro was fine.

Or maybe... maybe something had happened to him.

Fear seized his heart. He knew that Shiro was living on borrowed time. While the Galra Empire had been gracious enough to install electro-stimulators in his arm, much like the ones he'd had back on Earth, they hadn't done much to actually _help_ him. All they cared about was keeping their Champion in prime condition- nothing else.

To them, it only mattered if he survived to see his next bout. They didn't care if he started to deteriorate a few years down the road. Why would they? By then, they'd probably have a new Champion.

Even _with_ the electro-stimulators, there was still a chance something could have gone wrong. He didn't know. Shiro had never talked about what was wrong with him in any specifics, and he'd never asked.

After all, Shiro had never asked _him_ any questions- and he knew for a fact that he'd gone over his medical reports. If he wasn't going to pry, why should he?

It didn't _have_ to be because of disability, though- he could have just been gravely injured.

Or killed.

He sucked in a breath at the thought, closing his eyes. No. He didn't want to think about that. Shiro _had_ to be alive. He was going to pull through this, get back to Earth, back to Adam. Shiro had done so much for him, so how could he not want that for him?

Ezor clapped her hands, dragging him out of his thoughts. Opening his eyes, he looked in her direction. She looked eager- almost _giddy_.

"So what's the plan?" She asked.

"The plan," Lotor stated, "-is to draw out Voltron. Confirm the rumors for ourselves."

He tried not to react to that, but even he couldn't stop the fur on the back of his neck from raising like it did. Otherwise, he forced himself to remain neutral, stiff as a board.

"Will we be engaging them?" Acxa asked.

"In a sense." Lotor said. "Our intention is to merely gather information. We will send out fighters, gauge the condition of the Voltron lions for ourselves."

"Keith," he felt Lotor's eyes on him, before he even saw them, "-have you become acquainted with the controls of the fighter I have provided you with?"

He didn't like where this was going, but he forced himself to keep up his mask of neutrality- even if the anxious flick of his tail was already giving him away. "Yes."

Familiar enough, at least.

"Good." Lotor said. "In that case, I want you to engage the Voltron lions."

He felt his mask shatter.

"I- I can't-" he stammered, feeling like a child, "I-"

"If you would rather, I could always have someone else do it." Lotor remarked.

He froze at that. Someone else. No, that- he couldn't allow that. He didn't know about Acxa and Narti, but Zethrid and Ezor definitely wouldn't show the paladins any mercy.

But he could.

Swallowing, Keith straightened his back. "I'll do it."

"Good," Lotor said simply, "-I wish for you to give me a full report on their movements. Out of all of us, you are the one with the most cause to be familiar with the lions."

He felt sick.

"Understood."

* * *

Coran was right about one thing- the paladins had desperately needed a break.

She had not been fully aware of just how hard she had been working them, not until she watched the relief that crossed their faces when she announced that, any emergencies not withstanding, they would have the rest of the day off.

And yes, she did have them teach her one of their Earth card games. It turned out she was quite good at this thing called _poker_ \- at least, once she had gotten the hang of it. Perhaps she was supposed to be resting, but she could not help but think of it as training.

After all, keeping a straight face was an important part of diplomacy. One that she could sometimes admittedly fail at, under the right circumstances.

But then, she had hardly had the chance to complete her training as the future queen of Altea. When the war had broken out, such thoughts were forgotten. Suddenly, there was no time for diplomacy, or even any need. As her father quickly discovered, words could no longer sway Zarkon.

Flopping back against the couch, Lance leaned his head back. "Ugh. Remind me to never agree to play poker against you again, princess. There's like, no winning against you."

"No offense Lance, but I don't think you'd win against anyone." Pidge noted, pushing up her glasses. "Except for maybe Hunk."

"It's true, I admit it." Hunk admitted. "I don't have much of a poker face."

The exchange brought a smile to her lips, one dampened by the thought that Keith should have been here with them. It was easy to imagine that he would possess this... _poker face_ , of which they spoke, given how guarded he could be.

She had never been able to learn his story, in the end. Out of all the paladins, she had known the least about him.

Now perhaps, she never would.

"You okay, Allura?" Lance suddenly asked, causing her to blink. "You've been kind of quiet."

"I just have a lot on my mind, that's all." Allura told him. It wasn't a lie, not exactly.

"We've all been pretty busy lately." Hunk observed. "But I think you've been the busiest. I mean, between flying the red lion and trying to organize the Coalition, I think this might be the first break you've taken since we defeated Zarkon."

Defeated. How she wished that were actually true.

But they still didn't know his fate- not for certain, at least. There were rumors, yes- but there was no telling if the rumors were true.

"Perhaps you are right." Allura admitted. "Perhaps I _do_ need to give myself more time to rest."

"Speaking of rest," Pidge piped up, "-Hunk, do you have anymore of those cookies you baked during your last break?"

"...we're not talking about more scaultrite cookies here, are we?" Lance frowned, looking almost suspicious.

"No, we are not talking about more scaultrite cookies." Hunk stated flatly. "And yeah, I've got a few. Want me to go fetch them?"

Pidge didn't get the chance to answer, because as fate would have it, their peace was interrupted. There was a faint burst of static, before the image of the Puigan leader appeared on screen, his expression just as desperate as his tone.

"Voltron, we need your help. The Galrans have returned. Once you left, we were defenseless."

She felt a bolt of fear at those words. This was exactly the scenario that she had been afraid of.

"My people are trying to hold out," the Puigan leader pleaded, "-but the Galra are too powerful."

Clearly, this was no longer the time for a break.

"The lions are on their way." Allura stated, having already risen to her feet. "Hold your ground and protect your people until we arrive. Voltron stands with you."

She would not allow the Galra to take back Puig.

"Everyone," Allura commanded, "-to your lions."

There wasn't even a trace of grumbling at having their rare break interrupted- not when the situation was as serious as it was. But she did not expect anything less of the paladins. Over the past few phoebs, they had grown exponentially, washing away all of her early doubts.

Changing into her armor, she made her way to the red lion's hangar. Whatever else was true, it did not change the fact that they must continue to fight.

But upon reaching the hangar, she found herself freezing in her tracks, a look of disbelief surely on her face, as if she could not comprehend what she was seeing. And truly, she could not.

The red lion's particle barrier was up.


	12. firefight

Hey look, it's chapter twelve! I'm really pleased with how this one came out, it was super fun to write! How was everyone's Halloween? I hope everybody had a good one! Unless you live in a country where it's not really celebrated, in which case, I hope you had a fantastic Wednesday.

Until next time!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter twelve**

 **firefight**

* * *

Allura could not comprehend what she was seeing.

Her mind reeled, trying to think of a reason why the red lion would choose to shut her out now, of all times. The paladins had doubtlessly already launched, and without her, they would now be _two_ lions short, instead of just one.

Hardly the ideal conditions under which to take back a planet.

Stepping forward, Allura rested a hand on the red lion's particle barrier. This made no sense to her- she had never heard of a lion rejecting its paladin like this, aside from the black lion. Even then, the circumstances under which it had chosen to reject Zarkon were special.

And _she_ was the red lion's paladin now.

Perhaps that was it. Perhaps the red lion was displeased with her. Perhaps she was upset that she continued to keep the fate of her previous paladin silent.

"Please," Allura pleaded, "-if I have upset you in some way, we can discuss the matter later. But right now, I need to assist the others."

But the red lion's particle barrier firmly remained in place.

"Allura?" Lance's voice crackled over the coms. "What's wrong? Where are you?"

"I- the red lion is not letting me in." Allura stated, not knowing what else to say. "I do not know what's wrong."

There was a slight pause, as if they were letting her words sink in.

"Do you think it could be because of Keith?" Hunk finally ventured, sounding almost hesitant.

Opening her mouth to say that was impossible, she quickly snapped it shut. These would be the worst circumstances under which to inform the paladins' of Keith's passing.

"I do not think so." Allura stated, trying to sound calm. "I fail to see any reason why he would be anywhere near Puig. None of our intelligence has indicated that there are any imperial prisons within the vicinity."

It was a reasonable response, and not truly a lie.

"Well try to work it out." Pidge told her. "We're going in."

Biting down on her lip, Allura absently nodded her head, before recalling that they could not see her. "Right. I will see what I can do."

Staring up at the red lion, Allura narrowed her eyes. "I do not understand. We have already come so far, why are you shutting me out now?"

She nearly did not expect an answer, but it came, and with it, it brought a surge of relief. The red lion was still communicating with her, so it had not truly shut her out- it was simply not allowing her access at the moment, for whatever reason.

Its answer, however, only brought about more questions.

 _Will not fight._

Brow furrowing, she stared up at the lion, puzzled. She had felt for herself the depths of the red lion's hatred for the Galra Empire. It had stolen away two paladins from her now, and given how loyal she could be, it was enough to create quite the grudge. That it would refuse to go out and fight was almost incomprehensible.

"I do not understand." Allura said. "We _must_ fight."

 _Paladin_ , the red lion said, _will not fight_.

"We _must_." Allura insisted. "Without you, we only have three lions. I cannot put the paladins in more danger, nor can we afford to abandon Puig and its people."

But the red lion did not budge.

Heaving a sigh, Allura took a step back. She did not understand, not in the least. But it was clear that whatever the reason, the red lion was not moving anytime soon.

"Coran," Allura said, contacting the bridge, "-prepare to move the Castle to Puig. We will need to give the paladins all the support we can."

There was a hesitant pause on Coran's end, as if he were almost tempted to ask- but apparently concluded that this was not the time nor the place. "Yes, princess."

At least with the Castle of Lions providing backup, the paladins had a chance. She could only hope that whatever forces the Galra Empire had sent to reclaim Puig, they were minimal. Without Shiro, without the red lion, she was uncertain if they could handle anything more.

* * *

Okay, so the red lion wasn't letting Allura in. Not a great start to this battle.

With Shiro in a healing pod, that meant they had just three lions to take back an entire planet- and yeah sure, they'd taken it from the Galra in the first place with just two lions, but they'd also had the Blade of Marmora as ground support at the time. That was like a whole extra lion, right there.

Why wasn't the red lion responding to Allura? Hunk was right- the only possible reason he could think of was that it had something to do with Keith. But problem was, Allura was _also_ right- he basically had no business being here, not unless the Galra had dragged him out after all this time to use as a hostage.

But they could have done that at like, any time. Why now?

Besides, if they were using him as a hostage, they were bound to get _some_ kind of ransom demand, and so far, they'd gotten nothing. Heck, the Galra hadn't even contacted them- it had been the Puigan leader, sending a distress signal, that sent them on their way.

"Guys?" Pidge asked. "Is it just me, or do the skies seem kind of... Galra free?"

Looking up, Lance frowned. She had a good point. When he'd heard the Galra were trying to take back Puig, he'd expected like... a bunch of cruisers or something. But he didn't even see _one_.

That was weird.

"You don't think the Puigans managed to chase them off after all, do you?" Hunk asked.

"I don't think-"

Pidge didn't get a chance to finish that sentence, because something jumped out of hyperspace, almost right on top of them. It was a massive cruiser, maybe twice the size of the Castle of Lions- but he'd never seen a Galra ship with this kind of design before.

He had a bad feeling about this.

"Attention, paladins of Voltron."

It was a man's voice, commanding in its presence, that spoke. Frankly, he didn't know if he should dwell on it, or the steady stream of fighters that were emerging from the cruiser.

"This is Prince Lotor, son of Zarkon, Emperor pro tem of the Galra Empire. Surrender now, or you will be destroyed."

Prince Lotor.

 _Prince Lotor._

Oh man, now he knew why that cruiser was giving him such a bad feeling. Because this wasn't the first time he'd run into a Galra ship that didn't match up with anything he had seen before- oh no, this was the _second_ time. And the first time? The first time hadn't gone so hot for them.

"We've been set up!" Pidge exclaimed, already pulling the green lion back, just barely fast enough to avoid getting blasted by laser fire.

"Ya think!?" Lance shouted, just barely avoiding laser fire of his own.

At least these were all the standard Galra fighters, the kind they were used to. Whatever those other fighters had been, they were probably reserved for Lotor's generals, and so far, there was no sign of any of them.

Of course, no sooner than had he thought that, did one emerge from the bowels of Lotor's cruiser. Great. Just great. He hadn't even said that _out loud_ , and he'd still somehow managed to jinx them.

"Guys, we've got one of those fighters." Lance reported. "Probably has a live pilot, not just a sentry. Keep a sharp eye out."

If this guy was anything like the one they had encountered back at the Weblum, then they were going to be a serious problem. Just the fact that there was a real person in the cockpit, and not just a sentry was already bad news- and they were two lions down.

At least there was only _one_ of them.

And- oh shit. Oh shit, it was angling for _him_.

Swearing mentally, Lance barely got out of the way in time. What the hell was this guy thinking- were they _trying_ to ram him?

That fighter had some crazy mobility, because it turned on a dime, opening fire on him. He tried to avoid it by going up, but it didn't fire like he thought it would- it wasn't one, continuous shot like the standard fighters, but a steady stream of shorter shots that moved with the ship. Pushing the blue lion's controls hard, he gave it all the speed the lion had, just trying to avoid them.

Unfortunately for him, the fighter was fast, too.

Grunting, Lance put the blue lion into a spiral. For a second, he thought that had done the trick- the fighter wasn't behind him anymore.

"Okay, I think we-"

The blue lion shook, a burst of laser fire skirting the edge of his lion. Proximity alarms blared, like he couldn't see the fighter that had manifested out of nowhere in front of the blue lion with his own eyes. He barely had time to pull out of the way to avoid ramming it- but the fighter itself didn't even _budge_.

Even worse? The thing was on his damn tail again.

"Uh, guys?" Lance said. "A little help?"

"I see it, buddy." Hunk told him, and he felt himself breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm on the way."

"Blue, girl," Lance muttered, half to himself, half to his lion, "-I don't think this is our day."

* * *

"Uh, guys? A little help?"

Gripping the controls of the yellow lion, Hunk brought it around to where he had last seen the blue lion. He'd been wondering where that fighter was that Lance had mentioned, and the answer was apparently on his tail.

"I see it, buddy." Hunk said. "I'm on the way."

Not that he was having an easy time of it either- it felt like for every fighter he shot down, two more took its place. But no way was he leaving Lance alone.

Whoever this jerk was giving him a hard time, he'd teach them a thing or two.

He just sort of hoped that it wasn't the pilot from the Weblum. He'd already fought them, and hadn't exactly done too well.

Speaking of reverse moves- gearing up the yellow lion, he dispatched the standard fighter that had been tailing him, slamming backwards into it. His lion rocked a little in response, but otherwise held fast- it didn't have the toughest armor out of the lions just for show.

With that taken care of, Hunk focused his attention on the problem fighter. If he didn't know any better, it was almost like its pilot was _toying_ with Lance. None of their laser fire actually seemed to hit, and while maybe that was just testament to Lance's skills as a pilot, somehow he didn't think it was that simple.

Whipping Yellow's tail around, Hunk fired off a shot. It skirted off the edge of the fighter, barely able to do any damage- but it did manage to draw the fighter's attention away from Lance. Which was good.

Unfortunately, that meant it was now paying attention to _him_.

Paling, Hunk threw the yellow lion into reverse again, the fighter wasting no time in gunning after him. Not good, not good, not good!

Laser fire shook the yellow lion, and he made a hard jerk to the left to try and avoid it. But it just pursued him, like a rapid fire chain, causing him to zig zag to avoid it, until it nearly made him nauseous. Forcing back the urge to gag, he fired a shot from his lion's mouth, hoping to at least break the chain.

The fighter expertly avoided it, with the kind of maneuverability he _wished_ the yellow lion had right now. The only lion that maneuverable was the red lion, and it wasn't even here right now.

God, he hoped Allura could work out whatever issue it was that she was having with it, because they could _really_ use the help right now.

Part of him still hoped it was a Keith-related issue. That would be a good thing, right? Up until now, the red lion had behaved itself, so for it to suddenly act up like this had to mean Keith was involved _somehow_ , didn't it?

Granted, he couldn't think _how_. Allura was right, there weren't any prisons around here. Those Blade guys would have found it for sure, even if it was like, hidden or something. Granted, he got the impression that they were spread a bit thin now, but...

With a violent jerk, the yellow lion pitched forward. Oh man, not good- the fighter had gotten behind him somehow. He'd had enough trouble keeping track of it when it was in _front_ of him!

"Guys?" Hunk said, knowing that he sounded as anxious as he felt. "Could use a hand here."

"I got you covered, Hunk." Pidge said. "Just hang on."

"You heard her, Yellow." Hunk muttered. "Hold up there a little longer, buddy boy."

* * *

"Guys? Could use a hand here."

Diverting her attention from the pair of fighters that she had been chasing, Pidge spared a glance in the direction she'd last seen the yellow lion in. She hadn't had a chance to see the new type of fighter herself, other than in the recording that Hunk had put into the Castle's systems, but it was hard to mistake it for anything else- it kind of stood out.

She'd watched the clip maybe a hundred times. Part of it was for the war effort, but part of it was the tech junkie in her- she couldn't help but be curious about this previously unknown type of fighter.

It wasn't exactly small, roughly the same size as the standard Galra fighters. It was _definitely_ more mobile, not to mention faster- which made its current actions nonsensical.

If it was fast enough to overtake the blue lion, why was it keeping pace with the yellow lion? If she didn't know any better, it was like its pilot was just toying with them.

Or testing them, she thought.

Narrowing her eyes, Pidge blasted apart the two fighters that held her attention, turning the green lion around. Maybe the Galra Empire had caught wind of the fact that the black lion hadn't been seen recently. She didn't know the first thing about this _Prince Lotor_ guy, but if he was someone that even the Blade of Marmora had trouble keeping tabs on, then he had to be pretty clever.

Clever enough to draw them into a trap.

But she could think big picture later. Right now, she had to get this guy off of Hunk's butt.

And she had just the ticket.

Grinning, Pidge summoned the green lion's vine cannon, firing off a round towards the fighter. Let's see how he liked _that_.

Except it never hit. Not the fighter she wanted, at least- instead it struck one of the standard fighters, the actual target weaving out of the way. The standard fighter burst into a lump of vines, leaving it listing in open space. Okay, no problem, she could get him on the next shot- and oh crap.

Next shot did not look like it was going to happen, because now the fighter was gunning for _her_. She was not so proud that she wouldn't admit she yelped a little, throwing the green lion into reverse, thankful that it was faster than both the blue and yellow lions. When it opened fire, she was just barely able to avoid it, plunging the green lion downwards so that it pinged off its shield, not striking anything vital.

She was _really_ starting to hate this guy.

And while the green lion might be fast, the fighter was still faster- not to mention that its design allowed it way more mobility than her lion.

If there were any lion capable of outrunning it, it was the red lion. But the red lion wasn't here right now.

"Allura!" She shouted. "Any chance you've worked things out with Red yet?!"

"I'm sorry, Pidge." Allura apologized. "But the red lion is refusing to fight."

"What- why would the red lion refuse to fight!?" Pidge asked, grunting as a bit of laser fire skirted off the green lion, causing it to shake, but not actually doing any real damage.

This guy was _definitely_ just toying with them.

"I am afraid I cannot answer that." Allura replied. "But the Castle is on its way. Just hold out for a little longer."

"Easier said than done!" Lance chimed in. "This fighter is kicking our butts!"

"Yeah, and there's only one of them!" Hunk added.

"Thanks for the reminder, Hunk." Pidge grunted. "Now will someone come and get this guy off my tail!?"

"I'm on it, Pidge!" Lance said. "Let's see how this jerk likes a taste of my freeze ray!"

* * *

The blue lion's freeze ray crackled past his fighter, narrowly missing it. Instead of hitting him, it froze one of the standard fighters, but Lance wasn't giving up that easily- he came after him, firing off a round of shots with his freeze ray, each which he avoided.

If he focused on the battle, he didn't have to think about anything else.

And if he thought of this as a test, he didn't have to give in to the wave of guilt that was poised to crash down on him the second he let it. He thought he'd been ready to face the paladins in battle, prepared- but apparently, he'd been wrong.

But whether he was ready or not didn't matter. He had to do this- because if he didn't, someone else would. And at least he could pull his punches, aiming not to harm the lions or their paladins, all of his shots just barely skirting them on purpose.

Though to be honest, even he was a bit surprised at how well he was doing. He was going up against the lions of Voltron, and even if his fighter wasn't the only one they were up against, it didn't change the fact that there was a substantial difference in overall firepower between them.

Pidge's vine cannon had been proof enough of that.

He was glad he'd pulled the records of the Olkarion invasion from Central Command's data banks. His fighter had a system in place to deal with freeze, so even if one of Lance's freeze rays hit him, he'd be able to deal with it, but _vines_? That wasn't exactly something the Galra Empire thought to try and program around.

It wasn't the only data he'd pulled- there were records from a planet called Taujeer, where Voltron had fought back a Commander by the name of Morvok. According to them, the yellow lion also had its own hidden power that it had managed to awaken- but he doubted Hunk would be using the super armor in this fight.

He didn't know about Lance- there weren't any records of the blue lion unlocking anything other than its freeze ray. And as for Red...

...well, she wasn't even out here.

And he knew why.

Biting down on his lip, he ignored the faint tug he could feel in the back of his mind. He thought he had severed their bond completely, but he guessed he was wrong. The closer the Castle drew, the stronger it became- even if it was considerably fainter than it had ever been, save for during his time as Haggar's prisoner, when he hadn't been able to feel it at all.

He knew it was the Castle that was drawing closer, and not the red lion- because though faint, all he got from his former lion was the stubborn refusal to fight him.

It should have moved him. It knew he was here, knew what he was doing- yet it opted not to view him as a traitor, even though he knew that was what he was. There was no getting around it- he'd helped reclaim a planet in the name of the Galra Empire, and now here he was, fighting three of the lions.

Just three- there was no black lion, either. No Shiro.

He tried not to think about that either. Forced himself not to dwell on the fact that Shiro would never let the three younger cadets fight alone, not under these circumstances- not if he had any say in the matter.

When the Castle of Lions came into view, wasting no time in firing a shot at Lotor's warship, he had to bite down on his lip all the harder, drawing blood. Not because the red lion's presence in the back of his mind was now stronger than ever- but because the sight of the Castle, shining white in the inky blackness of space, caused something in his chest to painfully wrench.

He was only dimly aware that it was his heart.

It could have become his new home, maybe, if he hadn't screwed up. But that was the past, and he couldn't afford to dwell on it now. He didn't have the luxury of losing focus.

Especially not after a searing beam of white whizzed past him, rocking his fighter. But it hadn't come from the Castle- that blast had come from Lotor's ship. Eyes widening, he turned in his seat, staring at it with horror as he realized it had just fired on the Castle of Lions.

"What are you doing!?" Keith demanded, not fully thinking his actions through. "It thought you said you'd let me handle this!"

"Now, now, there's no need for that." Lotor's voice was as calm as always, and somehow, it just managed to piss him off more. "Putting the matter of the black lion aside, there is still one lion that's yet to show up. I am simply attempting to draw it out."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith gripped the controls of his fighter. If he didn't do something, Lotor would just keep firing on the Castle until the red lion came out- and he didn't know how many shots it could take.

Drawing in a deep breath, he focused- hesitantly at first, but then with more resolve. He needed to get the red lion out here.

It had been so long, that he'd nearly forgotten how to do it. At first, he wasn't even certain if the red lion had gotten the impression he sent it, their bond being so weak now.

The red lion merely responded by continuing its refusal to fight.

Gritting his teeth, Keith let out a low growl. He didn't want to have to fight his former lion either- but things were different now. He wasn't a paladin, he was the enemy- and as far as he saw it, there was no reason to treat him as anything else.

And if it didn't stop being so _stubborn_ , it might just put the paladins in danger. Was that what it wanted?

 _No_ , the red lion eventually seemed to respond. That was not what it wanted. It still felt reluctant, but it would fight.

Breathing easier, Keith fixed his attention back on the battle, just in time to move his fighter out of the way of a shot from the green lion. It still nicked one of its thrusters, though, skirting off the edge- but thankfully, it was a normal laser, and not its vine cannon.

Maybe that would satisfy Lotor.

* * *

There was nothing more torturous than hearing the voices of the paladins, and being unable to do anything. She could only monitor the ongoing firefight from the red lion's hangar, watching as the special fighter weaved its way through the lions, evading them at every turn and returning fire that came so close, that at times it had her holding her breath.

When the Castle shook from the force of the enemy cruiser's ion cannon, Allura felt her frustration bubble up, near ready to explode. But just as she turned on her heel, ready to demand that the red lion allow her in, its particle barrier flickered, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

Stunned as she was, she still did not hesitate for more than a second. Pulling on her helmet, she rushed into the red lion, taking the pilot's seat before it could change its mind. She could not shake how silent it felt, but its cockpit still lit up at her command, so their bond remained.

And yet, she could not help but feel as if it were _strained_ , somehow. As if there were something else pulling on it, however faint.

But she would focus on that later. Right now, she had to join the paladins.

Against this new threat, they would need everything they had. Prince Lotor- she had not forgotten Kolivan's previous mention of him, and it would seem that she had been right to worry. Even worse was the fact that he simply dubbed himself _emperor pro tem_ , rather than emperor outright- which did seem to imply that Zarkon was not yet dead.

"Good news," she began, "-the red lion has finally allowed me in. I will be there in a few ticks."

"Oh thank god." Hunk said. "Because this pilot is basically just running circles around us."

"It's like they know all of our moves." Pidge observed.

"Not to mention none of our lions can keep up with them." Lance added. "But maybe Red can."

"Let us hope." Allura said, launching the red lion without any further delay. She had not missed the way that the fighter in question had almost seemed to be toying with the paladins- its pilot had numerous chances to do severe damage to the lions, but each time, it had opted instead to merely graze them.

Given the amount of control they had of their fighter, she could only assume it was on purpose.

She wasted no time in throwing herself into battle, using the red lion's heat ray to melt her way through a trio of standard Galra fighters that rose up to try and stop her. Perhaps they were still one lion short, but at least now they would have better odds.

Provided any of them could take out that fighter.

Pushing the red lion forward, she wasted no time in firing off a shot at the fighter in question- or at least, she attempted to. Just as she was about to shoot, the red lion jerked violently, sending the blast in another direction instead, simply firing into empty space.

Had something hit her? But there were no alarms going off- it was almost as if the red lion itself had chosen to redirect the blast at the last second.

Which made absolutely no sense.

"What are you doing?" Allura questioned. "We have to fight. I am certain you heard them say that we are the only ones with the speed to match that fighter."

The red lion rumbled briefly in protest, but quickly seemed to settle down, allowing her to fire on the fighter properly. True to fashion, its pilot evaded the blast, making use of their ship's highly mobile thrusters to almost weave out of the way. She fully expected them to return fire, but instead they moved out of her area of attack, focusing their attention back on the yellow lion, with which they had been previously engaged.

The action left her baffled.

Not only did the red lion not seem to want to engage the fighter, which was strange enough, but the fighter also seemed to not wish to engage the red lion, which was stranger still.

None of this made any _sense_ , she thought. It was as if there was a vital piece to all of this that she was simply missing, and without that, she would be unable to find answers to any of her questions.

It was almost as if...

...no. That was simply not a possibility. She refused to even consider it.

* * *

The black lion, Acxa reasoned, was not coming out.

Prince Lotor sensed the same thing as she did- once the red lion finally emerged, he had lifted a hand, ordering Zethrid to cease firing upon the Castle of Lions.

"Sir?" Acxa asked. "What are your orders?"

Lotor considered the question for a moment, watching the battle with interest. His gaze was mostly fixed on Keith's fighter, but he spared her a glance after a few moments. "I think we have confirmed that the black lion is... out of commission, for the time being."

"Should I fire on their ship again, sir?" Zethrid asked, almost sounding hopeful.

"I am afraid not, Zethrid." Lotor told her. "I do not believe it will produce any further results. Tell Keith to withdraw. We shall retreat, for the moment."

Resting her hand over her heart, Acxa gave Lotor a quick salute. Opening a com line to Keith's fighter, she narrowed her eyes a bit as she did so. He'd kept his word- for the most part, at least. She hadn't missed the way he had refused to fire on his former lion- but she didn't know if it was because he still possessed some kind of bond with it, or if it was due to its new paladin, the Altean princess.

Either way, she still didn't trust him.

"Keith," Acxa began, "-withdraw."

There was a slight pause, before she made out what sounded to be a grunt of acknowledgment. It must have been, because not seconds later, his fighter disengaged with the blue lion, returning to the main ship. What sentries remained began to disengage as well, moving to flank the ship in retreat.

"Acxa," Lotor said, typing something out on his screen, sending it to her with a swipe of his hand, "-set a course for these coordinates. There is something I wish to see for myself."

"Sir." Nodding her head, Acxa quickly input the coordinates, prepping the ship for the jump to hyperspace. She paused for only a moment, a slight frown on her features- as far as she knew, there was nothing in that area but empty space.

But Prince Lotor did nothing without a reason, even if she didn't always understand what it was. She trusted him.

"And Acxa?" Lotor asked. "There is something else I would like for you to do for me."

* * *

He didn't exactly expect a welcoming committee.

Judging from the sour look on Acxa's face, she didn't expect to be here either. Her arms were drawn up tightly in front of her chest, her face set in a perpetual frown. Pulling off his helmet, he tucked it underneath his arm, squaring his shoulders so that he didn't betray anything he was thinking right now.

Or was trying not to think about. Fighting the paladins had been... he didn't know. Now that it was over, and the adrenaline was starting to wear off, all he could feel was a crushing sense of guilt, one that threatened to overpower him if he let it.

He wouldn't.

He _couldn't_. He didn't have that kind of luxury.

"We have new orders." Acxa stated, locking eyes with him.

He narrowed his own. _We_? He'd just got done fighting the paladins, and now he was supposed to go on a mission with Acxa?

Guess what they said was true- there really was no rest for the wicked.

"We leave in one varga, as soon as we leave hyperspace." Acxa instructed. "We'll be taking my fighter. Don't be late."

Frowning, Keith stared the Galra general down. "You're not even going to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing?"

The staredown continued for a long moment- before Acxa broke it, turning slightly on her heel. "Lotor has ordered us to check out a particular rumor."

Brows knitting together, Keith couldn't help but be a bit curious. "About what?"

"A superweapon."


	13. general

Chapter thirteen? Chapter thirteen! I'm quite pleased with how this one turned out! Also wow, guess season eight airs in just like, a month. It'll be sad to see the show go, but life moves on. Here's to hoping they keep up the Hunk focus in the next season! He deserves it.

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter thirteen**

 **general**

* * *

"They're... gone?"

Pidge sounded just as baffled as he felt. Sure, they had the red lion on their side now, but it didn't change the fact that the Galra had _still_ been kicking their butts. So for them to suddenly retreat just didn't sit well with him.

"I don't get it," Hunk said, giving voice to those feelings, "-I'm pretty sure they were _winning_. Why would they retreat?"

"Who cares why?" Lance asked. "The important thing is that they're gone."

"No, Hunk is right." Allura said. "This does seem strange."

Feeds from all three lions were up on the yellow lion's display screen, so Hunk could see just how concerned Allura appeared, and how lost in thought Pidge was. Not that he could blame them- this whole thing had just left a bad taste in his mouth. It was the same instinct that had told him that Rolo and Nyma were up to no good, what felt like ages ago.

"Should we try to follow them?" Pidge asked. "We might be able to pick up on their hyperspace trail."

"No." Allura said, firmly. "We are still one lion short, and we cannot be certain that the red lion will continue to allow me to pilot it."

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Lance asked. "Did you ever figure that out?"

"No," Allura said, but Hunk couldn't help but note that she sounded a bit... distant, "-I am afraid not. All I know is that it refused to fight."

"Well, clearly it changed its mind." Pidge said. "What should we do next?"

"We should check on the Puigans." Allura replied. "Coran, keep the Castle in orbit in the event that more Galra show up. And contact the Blade of Marmora- they need to know about Prince Lotor, if they do not already."

"Yes, princess." Coran readily agreed. "Take caution. For all we know, there might be some kind of trap down on Puig."

"This whole thing felt like a trap." Pidge remarked.

"Yeah, I agree with Pidge on that one." Hunk said, frowning. This had _trap_ written all over it. "But that just makes the fact that they chose to retreat make even _less_ sense. If this was a trap, why not try and go all out? It's not like we can form Voltron right now."

"That... may be it." Allura said. " _We_ know that we cannot form Voltron at the moment, but the Galra do not."

"So you think this Prince Lotor guy was checking that out?" Lance frowned.

Hunk winced. "Probably means we failed, huh?"

Heaving a sigh, Allura closed her eyes. "More than likely. But for the time being, we do not have much of a choice. Removing Shiro from the healing pod before he has fully recovered could cause serious problems further down the line."

"And I'm guessing the black lion won't accept a temporary paladin, huh?" Lance asked.

"No, I am afraid not." Allura told him. "It might not be as picky as the red lion is, but it is just as loyal. The fact that Shiro had to fight Zarkon for control is proof enough of that. We must simply wait it out, and do what we can in the meantime."

"I mean... he must have realized that we didn't have the black lion, right?" Pidge ventured. "But this _Prince Lotor_ still chose to retreat. I think we're all avoiding the question of _why_."

"Maybe he was just trying to gather information?" Hunk suggested. "I mean... that fighter could have easily kicked any of our butts, but it didn't."

"Hey, speak for yourself." Lance protested, sounding vaguely offended.

"No, Hunk's right." Pidge said. "Whoever that pilot was, they were definitely toying with us. And that was only _one_ fighter. If Lotor was serious about this, he would have sent out more."

"I mean..."

"More _royal_ fighters, Lance." Pidge clarified.

"Royal?" Hunk blinked.

"Well... yeah." Pidge frowned. "I mean, we haven't seen fighters like that before, so they have to be a part of Lotor's private fleet or something, right? And he's a prince, so... royal fighters."

"We can discuss what to call the fighter later." Allura cut in. "Right now the Puigans should be our priority."

"Allura's right." Hunk said. "Are you sure you'll be fine in Red, princess?"

"For now, yes." Allura stated. "She is cooperating perfectly at the moment."

And there was that distant feeling again. Was anyone else picking up on that? Was it just him? _Something_ didn't feel right about this, but he just couldn't put his finger on _what_.

I mean, sure, he could say that about like, a lot of things. The red lion refusing to fight. Allura's distance. The way that fighter pilot seemed to know all of their moves- not that he really _had_ any moves, he didn't, but like, Pidge and Lance definitely had moves, and the pilot had been all over them.

There was a pesky feeling at the back of his mind, but for the time being, Hunk chose to ignore it. Like he said, Allura was right- their first concern right now should be the Puigans.

God he hoped they were all alive. This was war, people died, he knew that- it didn't mean he had to _like_ it.

"Hunk, Lance," Allura began, "-the two of you were here before. Do you think you could lead the way?"

"Why of course, princess," Lance began, waggling his brow, "-I'll escort you anywhere."

Allura's tired groan at least served to make things feel a bit more normal. But Hunk still couldn't shake that pesky feeling that something was wrong.

Could just be anxiety. God, he hoped it _was_ just anxiety.

But somehow, he doubted that.

* * *

The mood on Puig when they landed was understandably tense. When he had been here before with Hunk, the Puigans had all been out in the streets, celebrating their liberation- if there was any tension, it was from the presence of the Blade of Marmora.

But now? Even though they had chased away the Galra- well, sort of- no one was coming out.

Casting an uneasy glance towards Allura, the only thing that kept Lance from outright panicking was the absence of any blood. "...princess?"

She gripped her staff tighter, and Lance took that as his cue to summon his bayard. Pidge and Hunk followed suit, and behind them, the lions raised their particle barriers. Maybe Coran was right. Maybe this _was_ a trap.

"Stay on your guard." Allura instructed. "Lance, Pidge, search for any survivors. Hunk, you and I will check on the Puigan leader. Can you guide me to his bunker?"

"Yeah, no problem, princess." Hunk readily agreed.

"If you find anything," Allura looked back towards him, "-contact me."

Giving the princess a curt nod, Lance tried not to let the eerie silence of the Puigan village weigh him down. This was their main village- there should have been at least _someone_ on the streets to greet them, right?

"Come on," turning towards Pidge, Lance transformed his bayard into rifle mode, just in case. He didn't like this, he didn't like this at all. "You heard Allura. Let's find those Puigans."

Tapping her gauntlet, Pidge brought up a screen. "I'm detecting some life signs from this direction." She told him, motioning with her bayard.

Okay. Life signs. Good. "Guess we should start there."

Pidge just gave him a curt nod, using the map to guide them. Lance fell into step behind her, rifle at the ready in case any Galra tried to jump out at them. Seriously though, this place was giving him the creeps- where _was_ everyone?

Pidge came to a halt, motioning towards one of the buildings. Lance gave her a silent nod, the pair of them quietly creeping closer to it. Pressing their backs flat against the side of the building, they exchanged a look, each giving the other a mutual nod, before they stormed inside, ready for anything.

Which, in this case, would be a horde of captured Puigans.

Banishing his bayard instantly, Lance hurried to the closest one, attempting to free them. Pidge kept watch, at least until she determined this wasn't a trap, at which point, she motioned for him to move, using her bayard to cut away at the rope that had restrained the Puigan.

Once free, they wasted no time in ripping off what had to be the Galra equivalent of tape from their mouth, sucking in a long breath of air. They seemed a little bruised, but were otherwise intact- or at least, he thought so. Alien biology wasn't exactly his forte, even if the Puigans were pretty humanoid.

"Are you alright?" Lance asked.

"What happened?" Pidge followed up.

"The Galra," the Puigan told him, "-they came back."

"Yeah, we kinda know that part." Pidge noted, moving on to freeing the rest of the Puigans. There were ten in total, still nowhere near close to the population of this village.

"So they are gone?" The Puigan asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yeah," Lance said, puffing out his chest confidently, "-they couldn't take us."

That was a total and complete bold faced like, but listen- it was more for the Puigans than it was for the sake of their- specifically _his_ \- reputation, okay? They needed to believe that the Galra had run away with their tails between their legs.

"Any chance you can tell us exactly what happened?" Lance asked. "I mean... I'm glad to see that you're all like, alive, but taking prisoners like this doesn't exactly seem like how the Galra do things."

"I do not know," the Puigan said, shaking her head, "-I only know that these Galra seemed to want something."

"Something?" Pidge asked.

"Information." Another Puigan supplied. "The general who questioned us wanted to know about Voltron."

Pidge frowned. "What did you tell them?"

"Nothing!" The Puigan hurriedly replied, eyes wide. "We said only that it was the blue and yellow lions who freed us, and nothing more."

Lance frowned. The Galra would have already known that much. "Did they ask about the black lion?"

"They asked about all the lions," one Puigan replied, "-but they seemed most interested in the red lion."

Pidge blinked, exchanging a glance with him. "The red lion?"

"Yes," the Puigan said, "-they wanted to know if we had seen it. We said no."

"And this _general_ ," Lance frowned, "-what were they like?"

"Tall, almost as tall as the Blade leader who accompanied you the last time you were here," the same Puigan began, "-with purple fur, and a tail. Male, unlike the others. White hair."

"The tail had scales." A different Puigan added.

"Fur _and_ scales?" Pidge asked, arching her brows. "Weird. Usually it's one or the other."

"I mean, if he was with Lotor, then he has to be a half-breed, right?" Lance suggested.

That had to be right- but more to the point, that description was ringing an awful lot of bells. Sure, he hadn't seen the guy's face back in the Weblum, but he'd eat his entire helmet if they weren't describing the same dude. Male, with a scaly tail? Had to be the same guy.

But why would he be so interested in the red lion? Wasn't it the black lion they wanted to know about? Weird.

Pidge just hummed, freeing the last Puigan. "Is this all of you?"

"No, there are others." The Puigan she had freed said. "I saw another group being lead towards the east."

"Any casualties?" Lance asked- and man, that was a question he hated having to ask. It just never got any easier.

"No," one said, "-they only took prisoners. I saw no dead."

Well that was a relief. _Weird_ , but a relief.

"We need to contact the princess." Pidge said.

"On it." Lance told her. "You guys think you can handle things here?"

One of the Puigans nodded. "Yes. Thank you, paladin."

Thank him? For what? They hadn't even _been_ here when they needed them the most, and the only reason that they had won was because this _Prince Lotor_ dude had chosen to retreat. Some defenders of the universe they were.

The battle had made one thing clear- they desperately needed Shiro back.

* * *

The Puigan leader was whole and hale when they found him, to her great relief. None of the Puigans had been harmed either- merely captured. Pidge and Lance were assisting them in freeing their comrades, trying to learn what they could as they did.

They were currently doing much the same.

"So, this Prince Lotor and his generals attacked your village?" Hunk asked.

"Yes." The Puigan leader stated. "I tried to contact you, but it was too late."

"And when you contacted us before?" Allura inquired.

Shaking his head, the man frowned. "I don't know. I don't remember doing anything like that. Just one of the prince's generals arriving."

"Which one, might I ask?" Allura asked.

"She had a hood, and no eyes. There was a strange creature with her, one I've never seen before." The leader described. "If you say that I contacted you, then she must have used some sort of strange magic on me. I don't remember a thing."

Magic. That was... disquieting, to be sure.

"That is quite alright." Allura assured him. "What _do_ you remember?"

"There were six of them." The leader divulged. "Including the prince, but I only caught two of their names. Acxa and Ezor. The latter is the one who imprisoned me."

"But not the one who came back for you?" Allura inquired, to which the Puigan leader simply shook his head. "Hunk? Did you not say that Acxa was the general you met in the Weblum?"

"One of them, yeah." Hunk said. "Was there uh, was there a really tall one too? With a tail?"

"There were two who possessed tails." The Puigan leader reported. "One was the one I mentioned earlier, and the other was the only male in the group aside from the prince. He was... strange."

"Strange?" Allura frowned. "Strange how?"

"I overheard them speaking to one another," he told them, "-after the prince left. He put the one called Acxa in charge, and she said something to him about _other allegiances_."

Lifting her head, Allura blinked, unsure if she liked the sound of that. "Were you able to hear what those allegiances were?"

"No," he said, shaking his head, "-they didn't say."

"Well that sure _sounds_ like the other Weblum Galra." Hunk frowned. "But what did she mean, _other allegiances_? You don't think he was Blade of Marmora, do you?"

"No." Allura shook her head. "Kolivan would have informed us if he had a spy in Lotor's ranks, and he seemed quite surprised to hear that he had recruited another general. I am... uncertain as to what this Acxa could have been referring to, unless perhaps she meant Zarkon."

But even that explanation did not sit right with her. If this new general was only half-Galra, just as the rest were, then she could hardly imagine that he could get very far within Zarkon's ranks, certainly not to the point where his loyalty might be called into question.

There was one other possibility, but it seemed so impossible, that she dismissed it out of hand. As much as she feared that the pilot of that royal fighter had in fact, been Keith, she had no reason to believe that he and this new general were one and the same.

Keith, after all, was human. Earth was so remote that it had remained off of the Galra Empire's radar for ten thousand years. Surely, if any Galra _had_ been there, then the blue lion would have been found much faster, so for Keith to be anything other than human was simply impossible.

He _could_ be manipulated, however.

It was not an explanation she liked, not in the least. But it was better than thinking that Keith had willingly betrayed them- even if that were the case, the red lion's behavior would have still made no sense. The red lion was extremely loyal once it had chosen a paladin- even if he were to change sides, she didn't doubt that the red lion would still choose to go to him.

The fact that their bond had been severed was proof enough that something had to have happened.

But for the time being, she would keep this to herself. It felt prudent to discuss the possibility with Kolivan first- she had no way of knowing if the Galra even had the ability to brainwash someone, though with an Altean on their side, she would not put it past them.

She _must_ have been Honerva, Zarkon's witch. There was no other explanation. The quintessence that had so corrupted Zarkon must have twisted her mind too- and her very being along with it.

But regardless of _who_ she was, anyone who had the ability to build something as dreadful as the _komar_ must be extremely powerful. She had felt as much while she had her magic coursing through her veins, so twisting ones mind against them... it did seem within the realm of possibility.

It would explain why the red lion did not wish to fight.

But no. Keith and this new general were two separate issues.

"This general... I do not suppose you happened to hear his name, did you?" Allura inquired. It never hurt to ask.

"No," the Puigan leader shook his head, "-I'm sorry, princess. I only know what I told you."

Heaving a sigh, Allura nevertheless kept her shoulders squared. She could not afford to look weak, not when she had the whole Coalition on her shoulders. While she could understand perfectly well why they were loathe to trust him, she still wished that the leaders of her tenuous Coalition would put a bit more faith into Kolivan- while she had certainly been trained to lead, she'd not had much actual practice before Voltron.

If _any_ , really.

While she was quite certain her father would _never_ send her hurtling into an exploding star, she sometimes wondered how much of his corrupted AI's defeatist sentiment was manufactured, and how much was actually genuine. They had sacrificed so much to face down Zarkon, and he wasn't even _dead_.

Still, it was not nearly enough to make her give up. What her father had been unable to do, she would- that was the legacy that she would carry into the future.

"That is quite alright," Allura said, "-I owe you an apology as well. I am afraid that we might have spread our forces a bit too thin."

"You chased the Galra away again." The Puigan leader said. "That is all we could ask for."

"Does that mean no more freeing planets?" Hunk asked.

"At least not until Shiro recovers." Allura told him. "For the time being, we will act defensively. We cannot be certain if Lotor will strike again."

She didn't _like_ the idea, but for the moment, it was their best option. At least until they figured things out.

At least until _she_ figured things out.

* * *

It was a good thing he was used to awkward silences. Even with that in mind, his patience was wearing thin. His arms folded in front of him, one leg crossed over his knee, Keith glanced over towards Acxa. She was doing her utmost to ignore him, and he was about sick of it.

"So?" Keith asked. "You still haven't told me where we're going."

"To a base on the fringes of the Empire's territory." Acxa curtly supplied. "It's run by a commander named Ranveig."

Keith frowned, letting out his breath in a huff. "And what's this _superweapon_ you mentioned?"

Acxa briefly glanced back towards him, her eyes narrowed in consideration. He returned her gaze, holding it until she broke it. "That's what we're going to find out."

"So we're chasing rumors again." Keith observed.

"Any rumor that Prince Lotor deems worth investigating usually is." Acxa coolly observed.

"Like the one about the black lion?" Keith asked.

Acxa didn't even so much as look at him. "Yes."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith stared at the back of her head. Tail twitching, he tried not to think about Shiro. He didn't want to consider that something might have happened to him. He was fine- he had to convince himself of that.

But in truth, not knowing was eating away at him. Shiro had been there for him when no one else was, and he owed him more than he could ever imagine.

Everyone else in life had given up on him. Shiro hadn't.

He deserved... well, a whole lot more than having been held captive by an alien empire and forced to fight for his life in gladiator matches for a year. He _should_ be back on Earth right now, having reconciled with Adam and making plans for their wedding. Not out here, fighting a war that he had nothing to do with.

Keith couldn't give him that, but he could at least make sure he was safe. Or at least, that was what he thought when they had first become paladins. Now? Now the best thing he could do for Shiro was stay far away from him.

So he didn't have to learn that the kid he'd spent so much time on, had believed in for so long, carried the same blood as those who had imprisoned and tortured him. It was bad enough letting him know that he had been thrown out of the Garrison- disappointed wouldn't even _begin_ to describe how badly this news might affect him.

"I should warn you," Acxa spoke, causing his eyes to snap open, "-Ranveig isn't fond of those with mixed blood."

Somehow, that didn't surprise him. Acxa's warning did, but he refused to let it show. "Well, thanks. But I'm starting to think that's just what the Galra Empire is like."

"Most believe that only those with pure Galra blood deserve rights within the Empire. Ranveig doesn't even allow anyone with mixed blood to serve as anything beyond a foot soldier." Acxa said, her tone so level, it was like it didn't effect her at all. "But he's not the worst."

He arched a brow at that, unable to help his curiosity. "How can you get worse than that?"

"Some don't even allow that." Acxa observed. "Such as Commander Sendak, who I'm sure you're familiar with."

 _Sendak_. Keith's eyes narrowed. He had tried looking through the Empire's database, to see if they had any information about where he had ended up once Shiro had jettisoned his pod, but he couldn't find anything. Either they still hadn't found him yet, or he just wasn't able to access that information at his current rank.

"Yeah," Keith said, "-we've met."

Acxa lapsed into silence after that. This base was far enough away that it would take multiple hyperspace jumps just to get there. He was starting to miss the ability to travel via wormhole.

He wished at least he could be the one flying the ship. But this was Acxa's fighter, so all he could do was put up with it. Tail twitching, he fought the urge to fidget, instead drawing in a long breath, opting to try some meditation instead.

He didn't get very far. Every time he tried to focus, he thought about Shiro. About fighting the paladins. About the way the red lion still trusted him.

With nothing to do, he was left with no other option _but_ to think.

If he called for Red, would she come? Would she accept him as her paladin, even as he was now? He had cut their bond, and now that she was far away again, he could no longer feel her. The sensation from before was akin to a distant memory now.

If Lotor knew his bond with the red lion still existed...

...he couldn't let him find out. He would _never_ pilot the red lion for him. The Galra Empire had her once, but he would never let her fall into their hands again.

He couldn't go back to being a paladin. Not now, not after he'd changed so much. Allura was better suited to it than he was- the only things he knew how to do were fly and fight, and while that made him a good solider, it didn't make him a good _paladin_.

He knew that. It was why it was for the best that he was the one who was captured. As far as he was concerned, he was disposable.

He grimaced at the thought. Just because it was true, didn't mean he liked dwelling on it.

Thankfully, he didn't have to for long.

"We're here."

Lifting his head, Keith rose to his feet, stalking towards the front of the ship. Ducking his head, he peered out of the cockpit, at the planet before them. From space, it appeared rocky- maybe even desert-like. It made him think of his shack with a painful tug. Even that lonely year of solitude had been better than this.

Opening up a communications line, Acxa briefly halted her advance towards the planet. "This is General Acxa, of the Galra Empire. I am here under Prince Lotor's personal command and am requesting permission to dock at base X-1483."

There was a long pause before they got a response, a woman's voice coming through from the other end. "General Acxa. This is Lieutenant Commander Krolia. We have received your request and have granted you docking clearance. Please proceed to docking bay five."

"Understood."

Switching off the coms, Acxa proceeded to advance towards the planet, breaking through its atmosphere. She wasn't half bad, Keith noted, watching as she navigated her way towards the base, standing out like a monolith against the rocky desert environment it was set in.

At least there didn't seem to be any other life on _this_ planet.

"While we are here," Acxa began, "-you are to follow my lead. Is that understood?"

Narrowing his eyes, Keith's tail twitched behind him. "Crystal."

But if he could gather some more information while he was here... well, he'd do that too.


	14. mother

And we're back! Speaking of things being back, how about that trailer, huh? I, for one, am excited about the possibility of learning a bit more about the former paladins, if that's what that one clip in the trailer was hinting at. Please give me all the lore. Definitely hyped for the next season! Although if they kill off Allura or Krolia (but especially Allura), we riot.

Anyways, on to the chapter!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter fourteen**

 **mother**

* * *

The visit was... unexpected, to say the least.

She was well aware that Prince Lotor had ascended to the throne temporarily in Zarkon's absence. Word had spread quickly throughout the Galra Empire- or at least, the rumors had. Out here on the fringes, her most reliable source of information were the Blades, and they had only contacted her two vargas ago to confirm the situation.

Kolivan had sent out an emergency broadcast to all Blades, to confirm the long standing rumor. The information had apparently been gleaned by Voltron- who had briefly engaged the prince in battle, only for him to retreat without explanation.

Now that Thace's cover had been blown, they were left without any eyes inside Central Command. While they had other Blades placed in positions of power, herself included, none of them were anywhere close to the Galra headquarters. Trying to move them into position too quickly would only arouse suspicion- and now that their cover had been effectively blown, their existence exposed, that was exactly what they needed to _avoid_.

So suffice to say, she wasn't about to miss this chance.

Little was known about Prince Lotor. Even what the Blades knew about him was limited. If she could gather any relevant intelligence, it would likely prove invaluable- not just to the Blade of Marmora, but also to the paladins of Voltron, and their budding Coalition.

She had heard rumors about the paladins, even this far out. It was hard not to. But it had still taken awhile for the word to reach her that they were _human_. Of course, she already knew that the current black paladin was the former Champion, whom she had long since known was human. But she had been surprised to learn that the same was true of the others.

Or nearly. There was some confusion in regards to the red paladin- in the early stages, there had been a belief that he was a human male, but recently, all she had been hearing was that the red lion's paladin was in fact, the Altean princess herself. There had been some talk that the red paladin had been captured, but no such information ever leaked it's way down to her, so she could not be sure.

She had a hard time believing that the Empire would stay silent on it if they had. Judging from the fact that the rumors of the princess being the red lion's paladin had been more consistent, she was willing to believe that one.

As for the rest of the paladins being human...

Thinking about humans inevitably made her think of Heath, and thinking of Heath inevitably made her think of Keith. The only thing that kept her from outright abandoning her post and setting a course for Earth herself was the confirmation that the Galra Empire had not yet turned their attention towards it. As soon as the blue lion had left the planet, any interest the Empire had in it had been shelved.

She would just have to trust it stayed that way.

Maybe with Voltron in the fight, she actually stood a chance of seeing them again.

Such were her thoughts as she headed towards docking bay five. The visit was unexpected, but she could hazard a few guesses as to what it might be about. Or to be more accurate, she could only think of a single reason why the prince would send one of his generals this far out to the fringes.

For someone who stayed hidden so well, Prince Lotor's information network was not something that should be underestimated. She didn't know how he had gotten word, but he had, somehow. She was willing to bet her bottom dollar that they were here about Ranveig's weapon.

There was the chance that he could have sent Acxa here in order to ascertain the status of their expanding conquest, but she doubted it. There were better bases for that than this one. This was more of a research base- which, while it made for an appealing target for the budding rebellion, did not lend itself to being a stronghold for their forces.

With Ranveig away, she would just have to deal with them herself.

The fighters that Lotor's forces used were, as always, flashy. It did make them easy to spot, if nothing else. They were meant strictly for living pilots- these were not ships intended to be piloted by sentries.

Standing at the ready, she watched as the fighter landed. She had heard rumors that Acxa was a talented pilot, and given how she handled the fairly narrow space in which she had to land, it would seem that they were true. This would be her first time meeting the general- or _any_ of Lotor's generals, for that matter, and she didn't intend to waste it.

No matter how well informed the prince was, the one thing she was confident about was that he was unaware that she was with the Blades.

The first thing she noticed, as Acxa left her ship, was that she was not alone.

The second thing she noticed was that she did not recognize the general she was with. She knew that he had to be one of Lotor's men- their armor was just as distinct as their fighters. She had heard from Kolivan that it was possible that Lotor had recruited another general, and it would appear that the rumors were true.

He must have been only half-Galra, given the prince's preferences, but frankly, he didn't look it. His eyes were the standard Galra yellow, lacking visible pupils, and he stood tall. The only thing worth noting was the fact that he was tailed- an uncommon trait among pure Galra, and that said tail was furthermore _scaled_ , in contrast to the purple fur that the rest of his body sported.

It was only her strict training that kept her from blinking at the sight of his markings. They matched her own, which, while a rarity, was not completely unheard of.

She couldn't say the same for the general in question- he went stiff at the sight of her, his eyes tracking her own markings, left hand almost seeming to twitch, as if he wanted to brush it against those of his own. To his credit, it vanished quickly, replaced by a mask of neutrality.

But she hadn't missed it.

Nor had she missed the weapon he wore at his belt. Perhaps this was her only encounter with Lotor's generals, but she _had_ crossed paths with Emperor Zarkon on several occasions. She had been brought before him to personally explain how she had disappeared for several deca-phoebs, once she had returned to the Empire.

So she recognized that shape. It was a bayard.

It was not the same shape as the bayards the paladins of lore- and perhaps the current paladins- carried. No, it mirrored that of Zarkon's- but she could tell from the dark red accents that it was not the same weapon.

That was disturbing.

While it was certainly possible that the Empire might have been able to construct bayards of their own, it was unlikely. If the legends were true, they were a piece of the lions themselves. Even Prince Lotor, with his Altean heritage, would have a difficult time of it.

She would be less bothered by it, she was certain, if it were not for the red accents. She thought back to the rumors of the red paladin's disappearance, and began to wonder if she should have not dismissed them as quickly as she had.

Had the Empire seized his weapon for their own? Or had the red paladin turned traitor?

She had heard nothing about the missing red paladin being Galra- she had merely heard that they were human. That thought gnawed at her, the markings that reflected her own suddenly giving her more cause for concern.

No. Surely it couldn't be.

"General Acxa," Krolia stepped forward, masking her thoughts, and her emotions with them, "-I am Lieutenant Commander Krolia."

"Lieutenant Commander Krolia." Acxa acknowledged, extending her arm. She grasped it by the general's forearm, a gesture which the general returned. "On behalf of Prince Lotor, we have come to conduct an inspection of this base."

"We?" Krolia questioned.

Narrowing her eyes, Acxa straightened, seeming to glower behind her. " _We_."

The other general grit his teeth, but begrudgingly extended his own arm. She hesitated for a split second, before she grasped it, not missing the faint downwards tug of the general's lips and his own delay in returning the gesture.

In lieu of an introduction, his gaze merely flicked in Acxa's direction. "I'm with her."

His voice sounded a bit young. Younger than she had expected, at any rate. His words were curt, and his Galran strangely halting, accented in a way that she couldn't pinpoint, but his choice of words... she didn't know why they bothered her.

Perhaps it was because he hadn't introduced himself, and she therefore could not put her gnawing fear to rest. If anything, the lack of a name only managed to amplify them, at the same time as she was trying to bury them. She couldn't let this compromise her ability to carry out her mission.

She didn't want to think about it.

From the look of it, Acxa wasn't exactly satisfied with her fellow general's introduction either. She stared at him, her eyes narrowed further, but in the end, she made no move to introduce him in his stead. She got the impression that neither of them liked each other, taking a tiny sliver of comfort in that.

At the same time, she tried to convince herself that it was impossible.

"You are more than welcome to conduct your inspection." Krolia said. "Though I am curious what it is that Prince Lotor hopes to find here."

Diverting her attention back to her, Acxa didn't so much as flinch. "Prince Lotor has heard some rumors. He wishes to confirm if they are true."

So they _were_ here about the weapon.

Closing her eyes, Krolia drew in a breath, quickly calculating her next move. The less people who knew about the weapon Ranveig was working on, the better. He had only just begun the project, but already, the results were startling- and not in a good way. Not only was the weapon proving to be more powerful than anything they had in comparison, she also feared that it was becoming too powerful, too quickly.

She had been searching for a way to sabotage it, without blowing her cover, but she hadn't found a way just yet. She feared that she might not.

Even worse, she feared that Ranveig might not be able to control what he had created.

Opening her eyes, Krolia drew on her training, betraying nothing. She didn't want Lotor to know about the weapon, or about the enriched quintessence they were using to make it- but she also didn't have a choice. "You're here about the weapon."

Acxa didn't even blink. "Yes."

"I will have to contact Commander Ranveig." Krolia told them. "Only he has the clearance to access the weapon."

She was steadily working on getting said clearance herself, but she wasn't there just yet.

"Is the Commander not present?" Acxa inquired.

"Currently, no." Krolia told her. He was out inspecting another base, one that had taken a hit from rebel forces. "But he should return within a few vargas. Sooner, if I contact him."

"Understood," Acxa said, "-we'll wait."

Giving the general a curt nod of her head, Krolia motioned to one of the sentries. "In the meantime, this sentry will take you anywhere you wish on the base."

"Except for where the weapon is." The other general seemed to mutter underneath his breath.

Krolia merely frowned, turning to look at him again. He flinched, tail flicking behind him- he'd uncurled it from around his waist. Ducking his head, his eyes vanished behind his bangs, though she was just barely able to make out the odd fact that his brows were a different color than his hair. She wasn't sure as to how she had missed it- the black stood out, a stark contrast to his white hair and purple fur.

Their color made her uneasy.

Acxa simply glowered at her fellow general. "We understand."

She let her gaze linger for a second longer, before she pulled it away. There was one way she could put an end to her doubts.

"Very well," Krolia acknowledged, "-in that case, I will leave you to your inspection while I contact Commander Ranveig."

Acxa saluted in response- and after several seconds, so did her companion. She didn't miss the way that his heart didn't seem to be quite into it, and again, she felt the strange stirrings of comfort at the same time as she continued to deny her worst fear.

She had good instincts, but she was certain that this time, she was mistaken. She _had_ to be.

* * *

He didn't feel himself relax until Krolia left the hangar.

 _Relax_ probably wasn't a good word for it. He wasn't actually relaxed- just less tense. He still couldn't shake the mentality that he was in enemy territory- but that wasn't what had him so tense. It had less to do with being on a Galra base, and more to do with that lieutenant.

She had introduced herself as _Krolia_ , and the first thing he'd noticed about her were her markings. They were pretty hard to miss, considering he'd seen the exact ones whenever he'd looked into a mirror the past few weeks. He'd seen a lot of Galra on Central Command, and they had come in all shapes and sizes- but none of them had markings quite like his.

He didn't have long to dwell on it- or to relax, because the minute the lieutenant left the hangar, Acxa whirled on him. "I thought I told you to follow my lead."

He bristled at that. "I grasped her arm!"

"And yet you failed to introduce yourself or state your rank. You were late in your salute, too. All of that is basic protocol." Acxa coolly observed, narrowing her eyes. "Don't forget that your actions reflect on Prince Lotor."

Gritting his teeth, Keith's tail lashed behind him. He wanted to say that Prince Lotor could shove it, for all he cared, but for once, he managed to think before he spoke. "Well maybe it's not _my_ fault that nobody's ever bothered to teach me imperial protocol. In case you forgot, I didn't exactly grow up in the Empire."

He already had his hands full juggling learning Galran, the Empire's history, and training- he didn't want another thing to add to his already full plate.

He expected Acxa to snap at him, but instead she flinched- opening her mouth to say something before she snapped it shut. Instead, she just glowered at him. "Fine. But when we return to Lotor's ship, you're going to learn."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith grit his teeth. That sounded an awful lot like a threat. "What? You going to teach me?"

"If it's necessary, yes." Acxa stated. "You're just lucky it was the Lieutenant Commander who greeted us, and not Commander Ranveig."

Clenching his fists, Keith looked away. He hated to admit it, but she was probably right. He just- he didn't know why, he just didn't feel comfortable telling Krolia his name. When he put it like that, it sounded stupid- he was obviously just overthinking things.

He knew his mother had to be out there somewhere, but what were the odds he'd just run into her, and so soon? It just didn't seem likely.

Frankly, he didn't want to meet her. Not now, not when he was like this. Not when she was apparently Blade of Marmora, a rebel- and what was he? A former paladin of Voltron, who had, for all intents and purposes, chosen the Galra Empire over the good guys. A _traitor_.

He didn't want to meet her like this, if ever.

No, he decided- it couldn't have been her. The markings were probably just coincidence. It wasn't like she had even _reacted_ to them.

Or _him_. Not that she _would_ , even if she was. When his mother had left, he'd still been in diapers- and human. If he was unrecognizable to the paladins, there was no way his mother would be able to tell it was him.

"Fine," Keith relented, "-when we meet Commander Ranveig, I'll be better. Happy?"

Acxa frowned, looking unconvinced- not that he could exactly blame her. He hadn't been written up for insubordination as many times as he had back at the Garrison for nothing. His old teacher was right- he really hadn't been the right fit for their rigid culture.

Figures he'd be a lousy fit for an imperialistic military empire too.

Not that he _wanted_ to fit in with the Galra. God no. He'd rather get his teeth pulled out a second time than truly blend in.

"Fine." Acxa still didn't look like she believed him, but it didn't appear she was willing to waste the time to press the issue further. "Just remember- whatever allegiances you might have held in the past, you vowed loyalty to Prince Lotor. That's the only thing that matters."

He wanted to say that she'd told him that already, but he bit it back. Just what the hell had Lotor done to earn such fervent loyalty from her anyways? It was like she was practically hanging off his every word.

Turning on her heel, Acxa motioned towards the sentry. Narrowing his eyes, Keith fell into step behind the pair of them. This still didn't feel right to him- even after all his time on Central Command, being paraded around a Galra base as a guest still felt _wrong_.

He guessed he should be happy about it. If it didn't, that would be a sign he should be worried. The last thing he wanted to do was get comfortable with this lie, on the off chance he might actually start _believing_ it.

The thought made him shiver.

* * *

"Krolia. I didn't expect to receive your next communication so soon."

Kolivan felt the edge of his lips curl into a slight frown. It had only been a handful of vargas ago that he had issued the emergency broadcast, confirming what they had all feared- that in the absence of his father, Prince Lotor had taken over the Galra Empire. The Altean princess had confirmed that much for him, having encountered the prince on Puig, after he had taken back the planet from Puigan control.

The thought sat uneasily with him. The Empire now knew that they were not able to use the black lion, which had likely been Prince Lotor's goal. That was a fact that they had been attempting to conceal, as it would indicate to the Empire that they had a weakness.

The princess' communication had been brief, just long enough to update him on the situation. He had sensed right from the start, that there was more she wished to speak about, so he hadn't been all that shocked when she had asked if she could arrange a meeting in person.

He had agreed, making arrangements at once. The red lion was to arrive at their main base within half a varga. It would seem that whatever it was the princess wanted to discuss, she didn't want to do it with the paladins around.

"There has been a development." Krolia stated.

As usual, her expression betrayed nothing. She was one of the Blade of Marmora's most senior members, even if she was a generation behind himself and- Kolivan paused there. Antok, Ulaz... they had both been senior members, and now, all that were left were himself and Thace.

It was a difficult thing to take.

"Have you been able to sabotage Commander Ranveig's weapon?" Kolivan asked.

"Negative." Krolia reported. "But we're not the only ones who have heard of the weapon. Just now, two of Prince Lotor's generals arrived inquiring about it."

He didn't expect to hear about the prince again so soon, so Krolia's information took him by surprise. "And the prince?"

"Not present." Krolia told him. "He sent Acxa and another general that I am not familiar with in his stead."

Kolivan lifted his brows at that. So the paladin's information was correct.

"I sent you some visuals from our cameras." Krolia informed him.

He quickly verified this for himself, uploading the file that Krolia had sent him. There were several, all of the same general, from different angles. Kolivan narrowed his eyes, his thoughts flicking back to his own earlier suspicions. The general and the missing red paladin did not appear all that similar, not at first glance- but there was no telling what the witch might have done to him while he was in captivity.

And he was carrying a bayard.

"He has a bayard." Krolia told him, as if reading his mind. "Similar to the one Zarkon had, only its accents are red. What's going on, Kolivan?"

It was a loaded question, he could sense that. Krolia's expression didn't betray much- she was too well trained for that. But she had also chosen to report on the arrival of the two generals while they were both still on base- so something must have driven her to do so.

He thought again about his own theories.

"When we first made contact with the paladins," Kolivan began, "-we were able to verify a long-standing rumor."

Krolia's eyes narrowed at that. "The red paladin's capture."

"Yes." Kolivan stated. "According to Thace, there was a prisoner that was transferred from the general cell block to Haggar's lair phoebs ago. It would appear that she had taken an interest in them. We have reason to believe that it might have been the former red paladin."

Krolia looked as if she were holding her breath. "What was their name?"

Kolivan merely frowned. "Pardon?"

"The red paladin," Krolia clarified, though in truth, it wasn't necessary, "-what was their name?"

Unthinkable. That had been his initial thought when the idea had begun to take root in his head. That it was unthinkable for Krolia to have withheld information from him.

Now he was not so sure.

"Krolia-"

"His _name_ , Kolivan." Krolia repeated, her tone far harsher this time, bordering on demanding. "That's all I'm asking for."

For Krolia to let her composure slip to this extent... Kolivan didn't even have to ask to know that the unthinkable was in fact, the reality. The pronoun switch was acknowledgement enough.

"Keith." Kolivan stated. "The paladins gave his name as Keith Kogane."

* * *

Keith.

The name rung in her ears, Kolivan's repetition of it only sufficing to make it worse. She knew that she must have turned pale, but at the moment, she couldn't find it in her to care.

Keith. Keith, her _son_.

Her son, who she thought she had left behind safely on Earth, in the care of his father. Her son, who had been so small, so _human_ , when she had left them. _That_ Keith.

She realized she wasn't breathing, and forced herself to draw in a large gulp of air. Her lungs burned with it, and she felt as if she were drowning. She had left him behind in order to protect him, to keep the Galra Empire from finding him. So how had... how had this happened?

How could Keith be _here_? Galra, and in Lotor's colors, no less?

She wanted to deny it. Yes, maybe her son had been captured by the Empire, but the only reason that one of Lotor's general had the red bayard was because he had taken it from him. But no. She knew that couldn't be true. The bayards were pieces of the lions themselves, and weren't something just _anyone_ could use.

And she doubted that anyone would carry a useless weapon.

Dimly, she was aware that Kolivan had lapsed into silence. Swallowing, she composed herself, though her heart wasn't in it. All the training in the world, and it was gone in just an instant, the reality not something that she wanted to face.

She didn't know what had happened between now and when she had left, but the truth was clear. Her son was working for Prince Lotor.

Keith had grown up to be the enemy.

It left a sick feeling in her gut. Like a worst case scenario playing out before her very eyes. She supposed the only small mercy was the fact that it was the _prince_ he served, and not Zarkon himself- although they knew so little about Prince Lotor, that she couldn't decide if that was the better option or not.

"Are you," Krolia began, voice weak, "-are you certain?"

"Yes." Kolivan responded, seemingly impassive. She knew better than to think that. "Krolia, you-"

It didn't take much for her to realize that Kolivan had figured it out. Her reaction alone had made it obvious enough. She was a deep cover spy, she couldn't afford to be emotional. And yet, she had been- betrayed each and every one of her feelings, too raw to be contained, the reality too awful to pretend that she wasn't affected by it.

"I know." Krolia said, finally regaining some of her composure. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect for things to turn out this way."

She could feel Kolivan assessing her. Probably looking for any signs that she might be a traitor herself. She felt nothing at that, no sting of betrayal from all their long years spent fighting together- in their line of work, it paid to be suspicious of even those you trusted implicitly.

"Is this the only thing you withheld from your report?" Kolivan inquired.

Straightening her back, Krolia drew in a long breath. "Yes."

Kolivan closed his eyes, taking in her words. "He's your son."

"Yes." Krolia repeated.

Opening his eyes, there was a faint trace of sympathy in them. "I am sorry."

She felt numb. "You don't need to apologize. This is my fault. If I had briefed you properly, this might not be happening."

If she had never left, this wouldn't be happening. None of it. She should have brought them _with_ her, not left them behind- she should have insisted until Kolivan tired of hearing her speak that they be allowed to reside on base. If she had, then Keith wouldn't be...

What had that witch _done_ to him? He looked more typically Galran than _she_ did, attaining a height that she never had in all her years. His eyes, and that _tail_ \- she fought back a shudder, unable to help but wonder if it had been at all painful.

She knew the answer could only be yes. One thing was for sure- if she ever got the chance, she would string Haggar up with own intestines for laying a single finger on her son.

Drawing in a long breath, Krolia steeled herself. "Tell me everything."

If this was the card that she had been dealt, then she only had herself to blame. She didn't truly want to believe that her son could have become a _paladin_ , only to end up betraying them for the sake of the Galra Empire- or for Prince Lotor. She wanted to believe in her son, but at the same time, she had to brace herself for the possibility that he had.

Even so, she clung to the half-hearted way he had given his salute. She didn't want to have to fight against her own son.

"What we know isn't much." Kolivan confessed. "Only that shortly before the assault on Central Command, one of the witch's gladiators went missing."

 _Gladiator_. Her fingers twitched at the word. So twisting her son's body hadn't been enough for Haggar- she had thrown him into the arenas too? Perhaps strangling her with her own innards would be too kind.

Kolivan paused, locking eyes with her. "Krolia... are you certain?"

She didn't want to be, but she was.

"Yes," she told him, "-I'm certain."

Kolivan's brows furrowed, his expression grave. "While we don't know the circumstances, if your son has truly chosen to serve Prince Lotor..."

"I know, Kolivan." Krolia said. "You don't need to tell me. Our mission cannot afford to be compromised. I won't let my emotions get in the way."

 _Just don't ask me to fight him_ , some silent part of her whispered. She didn't think Kolivan would. He was accustomed to making tough decisions, but he wasn't _cruel_. Not without good reason.

Kolivan nodded, accepting her words. They had fought side by side for centuries, and knew each other well as a result. If she hadn't meant to keep her word, then she wouldn't have said them.

Then again, she had also said that she'd keep Keith safe.

"Does he know?" Kolivan asked.

"That I'm his mother?" Krolia finished. "No. When I left, he was still an infant. I doubt his father told him much about me."

He had looked so human- why complicate things when he could have just gone on believing that? When he had been born, carrying no trace of his Galra heritage, she had been ecstatic. He had a privilege that few half-Galra were afforded- to grow up in the culture of their non-Galra parent, with none of the stigma that being Galra carried.

Now that was gone.

There was almost no trace of his human heritage left. It was hard to really compare, considering that she had never seen him grown up, but the only trace she could pick out of the child she had left behind were the color of his brows. She knew some of that was bound to be because the last time she had seen him, he still had all of his baby fat, features not yet fully defined, but the change was still hard to take.

If it were just that alone... she could accept it. _She_ was Galra. She was not about to resent her own son for looking as such, especially when it hadn't been by choice.

That it hadn't was her own assumption. She could only reason that if it had been, he would look more like her- instead, the only similarity between them were their markings. Without those, she might have never recognized him.

And she still almost hadn't.

"Try and learn what you can." Kolivan instructed her. "I will have to inform the paladins. If your son... if the former red paladin has truly turned against them, they need to know. It could potentially compromise the red lion."

She gave him a curt nod of her head. She could not dispute that, though some part of her wished that they could keep this between the two of them. The less people who knew about her son, the better. It wasn't out of shame- knowing that Keith might have chosen the Galra Empire over the paladin cause- over _their_ cause- stung, but she had no right to judge him for any of his choices, not when she had abandoned him to his fate.

At the very least, it didn't seem like Zarkon's witch was using him as a puppet. He wouldn't have had the free will left to be half as grumpy as he had been. She would count her blessings where she could find them.

And there was still the slight chance that she was wrong. That Keith wasn't doing this because he wanted to. But she didn't want to pin all of her hopes on that. It was easier to accept that he was, and be pleasantly surprised later, rather than be proven wrong.

"Understood." Krolia said. "I will learn what I can."

With that, she brought an end to the transmission. Drawing in a long breath, she squared her shoulders. She had been well trained, and while she might have slipped, her conversation with Kolivan had allowed her time to process her emotions. Concealing her transmitter underneath one of her claws, she steeled herself.

Right now, she wasn't a mother. She couldn't afford to be. She was Krolia, sworn by blood oath to the Blade of Marmora.

If the source of her new mission was her own son... then so be it.


	15. son

It's time... time for the next chapter! You can't imagine how delighted I was to see Ranveig's superweapon come back in season eight, right before I had to write this chapter! How very convenient! It certainly made my job a lot easier. That said, hopefully everyone enjoys this update, because it sure was fun to write! Next chapter we should go back to the paladins for a bit, but we'll see how things play out when I actually get around to writing it.

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter fifteen**

 **son**

* * *

When he first heard the comparison to Sendak, he'd gotten a certain picture of this _Ranveig_ in his mind. The reality definitely didn't fail to live up to it.

"Commander Ranveig," Acxa greeted, the moment he stepped into the room they had been left to wait in, "-our apologies from calling you away from your affairs. I am-"

"I am aware of who you are, and who sent you." Ranveig cut her off. "What I wish to know is how your prince managed to learn about _my_ weapon."

To her credit, Acxa didn't even flinch. "Prince Lotor keeps an ear out for any information that might be relevant to the Empire's expanse. He believes your weapon may prove useful."

"So the exiled brat finally intends to take his duties as heir seriously?" Ranveig inquired, letting out a distasteful snort. "And all it took was for the witch to place him on the throne. And all without a Kral Zera."

 _Kral Zera_? Keith frowned. He had heard the words being thrown around before, back on Central Command, but he didn't have any idea as to what they meant.

Acxa narrowed her eyes at Ranveig's words, not taking to them kindly. But she fought back what had to be an urge to snap at the Commander, instead swallowing her pride. "Prince Lotor's reign is only temporary, until Emperor Zarkon recovers."

"Then tell me, General," Ranveig began, "-why should I allow the pawns of a temporary Emperor to see what will become my greatest weapon?"

"Because temporary or not, Lotor is still Emperor." Acxa stated. "You have no choice."

Ranveig stared at her for a long moment. The tension in the air was palpable, enough to make Keith's hand stray towards his own bayard, just in case they had to fight their way out of here. Ranveig didn't exactly seem the type to be impressed by the kind of pageantry that Lotor had won the support of the Galra on Central Command through- and he hadn't exactly forgotten Acxa's warning as to how much he detested those of mixed blood.

In the end, Ranveig merely scoffed. "Very well."

Shoulders slumping, Keith lowered his hand. He'd gotten better, but he still wasn't totally confident in his capabilities as a fighter yet. Maybe he was almost as tall as Ranveig, but the Galra was a sheer wall of muscle- he had no illusions that he could snap him in half, if he wanted.

In doing so, he caught Ranveig's eye. He cast his gaze first at his face, then down to the bayard hooked to his belt. "So, the rumors are true."

Keith stilled. Had the rumors already spread this far?

"I had heard that Prince Lotor was keeping the former red paladin of Voltron as his pet," Ranveig spat, "-but it would seem that it's true."

Suddenly he found himself very glad that Krolia wasn't in the room. He didn't know why. Just some instinct- probably the same one that had looked at her markings, and recognized them as being a match to his own. If Ranveig had anything to say about that, he held his tongue on the subject.

"I'm no one's _pet_." Keith merely responded.

General, fine. But _pet_? He'd rather go back and rot in Haggar's cell than be called the prince's _pet_.

Ranveig merely looked amused at what had to be some kind of breech of decorum. "So you _can_ speak. And here I was, wondering how the prince managed to tame you."

Not for the first time, Keith caught himself wondering just what kind of impression he'd made during his arena matches. _Half-feral_ , he'd been called before- and from the little he remembered of his time in the arenas, he couldn't exactly blame anyone for thinking so. The whole affair had left him a lot more in touch with his base animal instincts, which he was only starting to grow used to.

"If you are not the prince's pet," Ranveig began, "-how _should_ I call you?"

He also felt Acxa's eyes on him, her glare sharp and disapproving. Gritting his teeth, Keith forced himself to salute, standing to his full height. "I am Keith, a general of Prince Lotor."

He wanted to vomit.

"You still cling to the name of your weaker ancestry." Ranveig noted. "How curious."

Keith narrowed his eyes, having to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from retorting. His name was the one thing he wasn't ready to give up.

He was almost grateful that Acxa chose to step in. Probably to prevent him from screwing things up, but still. "Do we have an accord?"

Ranveig merely glanced at her. "Yes, General, we do."

"Good." Acxa stated. "We will leave after we examine the weapon."

"I will have my second in command show you to the weapon." Ranveig said- and in spite of himself, Keith felt himself tense at those words. Second in command had to mean Krolia, right?

He still didn't know what to make of Krolia. He tried to reason that it was impossible for her to be his mother- the Galra Empire was vast. Just running into her like this didn't seem plausible. And frankly? Knowing that she was a Galra rebel, his mother was about the last person he wanted to see.

It was bad enough she had abandoned him. He didn't want to know what she thought of his current actions. He didn't exactly have any way to justify himself.

It wasn't like the thought of trying to reach out to this _Blade of Marmora_ hadn't crossed his mind. It was just that he didn't expect them to believe him. The only thing he had to back up his claims was the knife his mother had left behind, and even that was tenuous at best- even if they believed he didn't steal it, it still didn't mean he they would trust him.

Everything he knew about Lotor indicated otherwise. He had known about the Blade of Marmora, possibly even before they had allied themselves with Voltron and attacked Central Command. He wouldn't put it past him to try and use him to get to them. And considering the fact that he had known all about the inquires he had made while on Central Command, he wouldn't put it past the prince to try to use him without him even realizing it.

He couldn't put anyone at risk. He'd find another way to pass information along to Voltron.

"Understood." Acxa said.

Ranveig merely gave them both another evaluating look, before he motioned to one of the sentries to summon Krolia. Looping his tail around his waist, Keith clenched his fists. He could get through this. If he didn't think about Krolia, he'd be fine.

Acxa spared him a look, a slight frown on her face. She chose not to say anything, instead looking away once more, which was fine by him. He wasn't exactly looking for camaraderie with Lotor's generals, especially not with Acxa.

He'd been alone before. He could do it again.

* * *

When Commander Ranveig summoned her, she was prepared.

Burying her emotions deep down was something she was accustomed to. Save for those two blissful deca-phoebs on Earth, it had been the way she had survived for centuries. Around Heath, there had been no need for walls, or pretense- it was safe to be open, _honest_.

It was a bitter irony that she had to shut herself off to her own son. But Kolivan was right. She couldn't afford to let her emotions blind her.

Even if she couldn't deny the pain she felt.

She thought that she had been leaving them behind to protect them. How had things gotten to this point? What had happened to Heath? How had Keith even ended up this far out in space? Why had he chosen to follow Lotor? What had Zarkon's witch done to him to alter his physical form so drastically?

She had a million questions she wanted to ask, but none that she could. It was fortunate that she was adept at gathering intelligence- she just never thought she would be putting her skills to work like this.

As she guided her son and Acxa through the base, she kept her gaze fixed solely in front of her. Keith, she sensed, had been interchangeably staring at her and the floor. Heath had once told her that he had her eyes, and it had made her smile. As happy as she was that her son bore no clues to his Galra lineage, she had been pleased to have left some trace of herself behind in him.

Now that shared connection was gone, replaced by the solid yellow that so many Galra possessed. It was the quintessence- gradual exposure to the material had slowly altered many of her kin. Even she was not completely unaffected, though the changes that she had endured were not as severe as some.

Whatever transformation her son had been forced to endure, quintessence had likely been involved. It made her sick to the stomach to think of it.

"How long have you been working on this weapon?" Acxa inquired, seemingly indifferent to the behavior of her fellow general. She doubted it had slipped by her notice, but she largely seemed to be attempting to ignore it.

"Only for about two phoebs now." Krolia replied. "The first of which was largely spent in planning. We did not begin work in earnest until a phoeb ago."

Acxa merely nodded in response. Keith pretended like he wasn't staring at the back of her head. He was bad at it. She would have smiled at it, under different circumstances.

She pressed her hand against the access panel that lead to the underground bunker where the weapon was being worked on. The creature that Ranveig had brought back from the quantum abyss could be unpredictable, as could the quintessence they had acquired. Keeping them both down on the lowest level, under restricted access, would give them enough time to evacuate the base in the event of a potential breech.

Ranveig could be ruthless, but he was not a fool.

If there was one silver lining to be gained from this situation, it was the fact that Ranveig trusted her enough to grant her temporary access to the weapon. Likely a prelude to granting her full access- not just to the weapon, but to the entire base.

Maybe she had failed as a mother, but at least she could still succeed as a Blade.

Stepping inside the elevator, both Keith and Acxa followed behind her. Keith purposefully stood to the far side of the elevator, his arms folded tightly over his chest. He was tense, and being in an enclosed space didn't seem to help with that. Though he had wrapped his tail around his waist, she could still make out the very tip of it twitching behind his back.

She also didn't miss the way he looked in her direction again, only to flinch once he realized she was looking back at him this time. Ducking his head, his brows furrowed, his body language growing more withdrawn. Outwardly, she did not so much as blink- but inwardly, she recognized his behavior as being suspicious.

Perhaps he suspected.

Suspected, but didn't know for sure. She fought the urge to confess to him, prompted by a deep maternal yearning to reconnect, one that she knew she could not follow through on. She didn't know what Heath had told their son, if anything, but if he still possessed the blade that she had left behind for him, admitting to their familial bond would only compromise her mission.

Her son was no Blade. It pained her, but it was the truth.

She couldn't tell him. Not ever. It would be better that way. Likely for the both of them. She didn't know how stable Keith's current position was with Lotor, and she would rather avoid taking action that might get him killed. She was still his mother, after all.

She was simply grateful that she was not alone with him. Acxa's presence as a third party was a relief.

As the elevator continued to descend, the aforementioned general's frown grew deeper. "How far down are we going?"

"We're headed to the lowest level of this base." Krolia informed her. "We keep the weapon here as a precaution."

Acxa frowned. "A precaution?"

"We're dealing with two very unstable materials." Krolia explained. "They're secure, for the most part, but if the weapon were to break out, the wisest choice would be to evacuate the base."

Keith frowned, finally opting to speak. "Break out?"

"Yes," Krolia said, not allowing anything to come out in her voice, "-the weapon itself is based off a living organism."

Keith froze, breath hitching in his throat. Were it not for the fur he had grown, she would have said that he'd paled. She wondered, briefly, if his skin had remained as pale as it had been when he was born, or if it had darkened in the sun to a warmer peach hue as he grew older, like his father's.

"The weapon is biological?" Acxa inquired.

Krolia gave her a stiff nod. "Yes. It's largely composed of a creature that Ranveig discovered in the quantum abyss."

Keith blinked, seeming to snap out of his reverie. Shook it off, to be more precise. "The quantum abyss?"

In spite of herself, she felt a touch of fondness, caught in the crinkle of her brow. It didn't surprise her that he wouldn't know. His father's kind had only just barely begun to put a dent into exploring their small pocket of the universe. Save for perhaps the paladins, he was farther than any human had ever been.

"It's a part of the galaxy, where dense neutron stars orbit even larger dark stars." Krolia explained. "The presence of such massive objects has... unusual effects on gravitational waves and space-time itself. It's possible to spend deca-phoebs in the quantum abyss, but to have only a handful of movements pass outside of it."

"Hm," Keith frowned, tilting his head, "-sounds dangerous."

"Very." Krolia agreed. "Even Ranveig would only risk sending sentries."

"But he has been risking it." Acxa observed.

"Yes." Krolia stated. "We have been trying to uncover the source of an undocumented shipment of quintessence that we discovered traveling through the territory. It has properties unlike anything we've ever seen before."

Thus far, Kolivan hadn't uncovered any other reports of quintessence that matched what she had found. But somehow, she didn't think that this was an isolated incident.

Acxa, for her part, merely frowned. "You believe it comes from this... quantum abyss?"

"No." Krolia shook her head. "Beyond it."

Before they had the chance to pursue that line of questioning any further, the elevator doors opened. Striding ahead, she listened with half an ear as the pair caught up with her. Acxa's steps were purposeful, driven, while Keith's were more... reluctant. She got the distinct feeling that he didn't want to be here.

She wished she could take it as a good sign. But judging from his reaction back in the elevator, she doubted his reluctance had anything to do with faltering loyalties.

He knew what it was like to be experimented on.

She tried not to think about that, either. It proved more difficult.

Instead, she focused on leading them both to the observation chamber. It had been reinforced substantially- they had reason to suspect that the creature they had captured in the quantum abyss was likely the same type of creature that had torn apart the cargo ship they had discovered, the same one containing the enriched quintessence. Whatever the creature was, it seemed to thrive with it, and the initial experiments had already shown promising results.

It was just a matter as to whether or not Ranveig could actually control it.

"The creature seems to have the ability to transport its being at will." Krolia remarked. "The chamber has been designed to restrict that ability."

Without another word, Krolia pressed her hand against a panel. The chamber below lit up, revealing the creature. When Ranveig had first captured it, it had been about as tall as she was, but since injecting it with the first of the enriched quintessence, it had grown substantially. It was unlike anything she had seen before- it possessed no eyes, seeming to sense those around it by their quintessence alone.

Its desire for the substance was already proving to be insatiable.

By her side, Acxa tensed. "What is that?"

"We don't know." Krolia admitted. "But it's powerful."

Keith remained silent. She kept tabs on him out of the corner of her eyes, but avoided looking directly at him. He was clearly on edge, and she didn't want to make him more nervous than he already was. His gaze was fixed on the creature's restraints- and she didn't miss the way in which he drew his own wrists a bit further into himself.

Lifting her head, she watched as a pair of scientists entered the room. They were not alone, escorted by a quartet of sentries- another precaution. They watched in silence as they began to work, extracting a small amount of quintessence from the vat they had recovered. By pacing the injections, they reasoned that they could better control the results.

She feared it would not matter.

Acxa's eyes narrowed, watching as the creature was injected with the quintessence. It thrashed against its bonds, but they held- while it desired the substance, there seemed to be something about this particular quintessence that made it rage. She also suspected that the method of absorption- injection- was quite different from how it normally went about consuming quintessence, though of course, these were all theories.

She didn't miss the way Keith took half a step backwards, his entire body tense and she swore that he was almost shaking. His gaze was fixed squarely on the creature, raging against its bonds, as the quintessence coursed through its veins.

He also didn't seem to be breathing.

Snapping her head up, Krolia cursed herself for not thinking of it. She should have recognized it- these were all the signs of a panic attack. He'd been showing clear warning signs ever since he had learned that the weapon was a living organism. He had undergone a deeply traumatic experience, and now here she was, exposing him to that same situation once again.

She was even more a failure as a mother than she had first thought.

Acxa lifted her head, seeming to notice. "Keith?"

She didn't dwell on the full confirmation that her son's name on her lips brought her. Instead she just focused on using her most authoritative voice, both in hopes of convincing Acxa to do what needed to be done, and to keep herself as detached as she possibly could from the situation. She couldn't afford to let on how much she actually cared.

"Remove him." Krolia instructed, barely sparing Keith a look as she spoke, though all she wanted to do was to help him herself.

Acxa merely locked eyes with her, before she wordlessly complied. Placing a hand against Keith's back, she guided him out of the observation chamber. He stumbled, but almost mindlessly followed after her, letting her guide him out.

It was only once they were gone, that Krolia dared to breathe.

Staring down at the creature, still writhing in its bonds, she bit her lip, hard enough to draw blood. Perhaps simply killing the witch would be too kind.

* * *

For a time, all he was aware of was a hand on the small of his back, pushing him forward. He let it guide him, unable to think straight. Every step he took felt like he was wearing lead weights, his body suddenly heavy, _alien_ , like it wasn't his own.

His skin crawled, suddenly keenly aware of every bit of fur that grew from it, every twitch of his tail, the way his joints bent and moved in ways that were unfamiliar. Every inch of his body suddenly felt wrong in a way it hadn't, not since the transformation had first begun in earnest, and even then, he'd been in so much of a haze that he barely even had the time to dwell on it. Now it all came back, sharper than ever, robbing him of even his breath.

He swore he could still hear the creature's cries. They pounded in his ears, the image of it writhing against its bonds etched into his eyelids, there even when he closed his eyes. It took him a second to realize that what he was actually recalling was not the creature he had just seen- but it was _himself_ , not quite human, and not quite Galra, like a vision outside of himself from a time that he could barely even coherently remember.

What he heard weren't the creatures cries- they were his own.

Something dug into his shoulder, sharp and piercing, right where the armor was at its weakest. The pain, though slight, drew him out of himself, and though he was still dazed, he could see someone's face swimming just outside of his vision. Blinking a few times brought Acxa into focus, and only then did he realize how close she was to him.

Eyes going wide, he tried to jerk back, but only managed to slam his head against the wall. Grunting, he lifted a hand to lightly touch it, all too keenly aware of his missing digit.

But at least he could breathe again.

Acxa stared at him, her face set in a tight expression. He swore there was concern in the crease of her brows, but he laughed the idea off- Acxa hated him. There was no way she, of all people, would be _worried_ about him. Besides, he was with the Galra now- and they didn't exactly take kindly to weakness.

Victory or death.

Once she realized he was no longer in a daze, she drew back, standing to her full height. For a split second, he didn't understand why she was suddenly taller than him, before he realized he'd been squatting. Abruptly, he forced himself to stand, an action which quickly proved to be a mistake as he was still a bit unsteady on his feet. He just barely managed to keep himself from falling over, using the wall to help with his balance.

"Are you with me?" Acxa inquired.

Biting down on his tongue to keep himself from snapping, Keith just gave the general a curt nod. Nothing had happened on Central Command, so he had assumed he was fine, but apparently, he was wrong. Guess he was more traumatized than he thought.

"I said," Acxa began, pressing for an actual answer, "-are you with me?"

Keith grit his teeth. "Yeah. Sorry."

Acxa frowned, but her expression remained otherwise unreadable. "Good. I'll finish things up with the Lieutenant. You stay here."

He bristled at her words. This was his mission too- he didn't need to be babied just because he had momentarily let trauma he didn't even know he had get the better of him. "I'm fine."

Lifting her chin, Acxa leveled her gaze with his. "No, you're not."

Baring his teeth, Keith narrowed his eyes. It didn't _sound_ like an accusation, but he took it as one. "I can handle it."

"Do you know how long it has been since we stepped out?" Acxa inquired.

Keith tensed. He didn't. But it couldn't have been more than, what... two, three minutes?

"It's been ten doboshes." Acxa informed him.

Ten- he'd blanked out for _ten minutes_? Okay. That wasn't good. But still, he was fine.

"It won't happen again." Keith told her, his tone curt. The last thing he needed was to be painted as useless.

"It won't," Acxa began, "-because you're staying out here."

"I can-"

"That's an order." Acxa cut him off.

Shutting his mouth, Keith fought the urge to growl. "You can't order me."

"I've been serving Lotor for the longest." Acxa said simply. "So yes, I can. And I am. Stay here."

She didn't give him so much as a chance to protest, turning sharply on her heel to return to the observation chamber. The door shut firmly behind her, only allowing a momentary glimpse of Krolia inside- he couldn't even imagine how she had taken what had probably been an incredibly pathetic display.

Just another reason to hope she _wasn't_ actually his mother, he guessed.

Drawing in a long, shaky breath, he pounded his fist against the wall, making a slight dent in the metal. Right. He was a lot stronger now. He kept forgetting that.

Unclenching his fist, he stared at his hand. The sense of being disconnected from his own body hadn't exactly faded, and it occurred to him that he hadn't actually so much as gotten used to it, as much as he had just been avoiding dealing with it. Back while he was still held prisoner by Haggar, he either didn't have the awareness or the time to dwell on it, and he'd kept himself so busy since joining Lotor that he just didn't have the time to think about it.

Maybe that wasn't his best decision.

Letting out a long sigh, he dropped his hand. It wasn't like he knew what to do about it. There wasn't exactly a 101 manual for what to do when your body was transformed by an evil space witch.

Leaning his head back against the wall, Keith stared up at the ceiling. He wondered if Lotor had chosen to send him here on purpose. Maybe he knew about Krolia, and had suspicions of his own. Maybe he knew that the superweapon was a living creature, and just wanted to remind him of what he could have continued to endure had he not reached out to him.

Like he even _needed_ the reminder. Seeing his ugly Galra mug every time he so much as looked in a mirror was reminder enough.

Either way, he doubted Lotor had chosen him for this mission for no reason. He just didn't know what it was.

Closing his eyes, Keith dropped his gaze. His tail swished behind him, sending a shiver up his spine each time it touched the floor. He never had the time to question the sensations it sent to his brain, but now he couldn't _not_ think about it, suddenly hyper-aware of every move it made. He tried to keep it still, but that only made him more aware of its weight.

Laughing bitterly, Keith opened his eyes, running a hand through his hair. His ears twitched, and all he could do was smile dryly. Guess what he had undergone as Haggar's prisoner had fucked him up more than he thought it had.

Right. Of course it had. And he hadn't even _noticed_. Classic.

Folding his arms in front of him, Keith leaned back against the wall. Guess all he could do now was wait.

* * *

When Acxa returned alone, Krolia felt herself momentarily tense.

"Where is your companion?" Krolia inquired, forcibly keeping her tone neutral.

"Keith will remain on standby." Acxa informed her. "He is not well."

 _Not well_. Krolia felt her heart clench. She should have realized sooner that Keith may have this kind of reaction to the weapon. It was likely too similar to what he had endured under the witch, a forced transformation likely brought on by quintessence. She never should have allowed him inside the observation chamber.

But she knew she also didn't have a choice. _Compassion_ was not a Galra trait, not under Zarkon's reign. If she allowed herself to show what was regarded to be a weakness, she would only place herself under suspicion- and that was the last thing she needed to do. She just hoped that being of mixed blood, perhaps Acxa at least had enough compassion not to leave behind her fellow general if he was truly suffering.

"Does he suffer from an illness?" Krolia inquired, trying to sound disinterested.

Acxa merely spared her a glance. "No."

Krolia narrowed her eyes, but forced herself to change the topic. "Ranveig has been attempting to train the creature to take out his enemies."

She left out the fact that those enemies were all _Galra_. Ranveig was nothing but brutal and ruthless- and with Emperor Zarkon's fate in question, there was now a brewing power vacuum. Lotor's temporary appointment as Emperor might keep it from reaching its apex, but Ranveig wasn't the only Commander that was now trying to consolidate his power.

"Has he been successful?" Acxa inquired.

"No." Krolia admitted bluntly. "Not yet."

Acxa's brows crinkled, clearly in thought. "In your opinion, will he?"

"In my opinion," Krolia began, locking eyes with the general, "-the Commander is dealing with things he does not fully understand. It will not go well."

Acxa held her gaze for a long moment, before giving her a curt nod. "I will pass this information along to Prince Lotor."

"So your inspection is over?" Krolia asked. Part of her was already searching for a way to keep them here- maybe this wasn't how she wanted to meet him again, but it didn't change the fact that this was the first time she had seen her son in nearly eighteen deca-phoebs. She didn't want to let him go just yet.

She hadn't even begun to dig into his motivations for joining Lotor yet. He _must_ have a reason. Maybe there was still a chance she could convince him that he had chosen the wrong path- especially if he believed that following Lotor was his _only_ path.

"Yes." Acxa acknowledged. "We have standing orders to return to Prince Lotor as soon as we finish here."

She couldn't think of a single reason to prompt either of them to stay. So instead, she simply resigned herself to it. "Understood. I will guide you both back to the docking bay."

Acxa merely inclined her head in acknowledgement. Upon exiting, Krolia fought the urge to sigh in relief as she spotted Keith- he looked vaguely irritated, but was otherwise completely fine. At least, he did on the outside.

She thought about Heath, likely alone on Earth. How could she possibly explain this to him? She had left them both behind to protect them from this war, and now their son was here, a former paladin turned Galra general. And she couldn't even do anything to convince him he was on the wrong side.

He'd been with the paladins. He had to know just what it was that the Galra Empire was doing to the universe. And yet, he'd chosen Lotor. She prayed it was with good reason. She wanted to believe in him, but eighteen deca-phoebs was a long time- and in truth, she had never really known her son.

Keith lifted his head, his tail swishing behind him. "Finished?"

"Yes." Acxa said, her words curt. "We're leaving."

Keith simply frowned, standing to his full height. She doubted it was a height he had reached in his natural form- likely another effect of the transformation. "Understood."

She escorted them in silence back to the docking bay. She tried to think of something to say, some subtle way to discern Keith's motivations. But she couldn't think of a thing- maybe she wasn't as emotionally prepared for this as she thought she was. She'd only been given a varga or two to fully digest the information before she'd been sent to escort them. That wasn't exactly a lot of time.

She just hoped that this wasn't the last time she'd see him.

* * *

Once she was certain they weren't being tracked, Acxa paused to look behind her.

Keith sat with his back to the wall, staring straight ahead. She hadn't exactly missed his behavior back on the base- at first she thought it had been mere disrespect, but she soon suspected that wasn't the full picture. Eyes tracking the markings on his cheeks, she recalled that the Lieutenant possessed similar markings- and dimly recalled that Keith had no knowledge of his Galra parentage until after he had been captured by the druids.

He didn't know how lucky he was.

Turning away, she focused on making the jump into hyperspace. Their mission would have taken them away from the royal warship for a full quintant, and she was eager to return. She had much to report to the Prince.

She suspected he knew already, but it would seem that some of the enriched quintessence that he had been formulating in secret had made its way into the hands of Commander Ranveig. Even she didn't know the source of the quintessence- it was one of Lotor's most closely guarded secrets, one of many.

She could understand the need for it. When one had as many enemies as Lotor did, the more cards one kept hidden, the better off they'd be.

But the weapon they were developing with it was... disturbing. She trusted Krolia's assessment of it, that it was something beyond their control. Even Lotor wouldn't be able to tame such a beast.

As for the rest...

Standing, Acxa turned to look behind her. Should she inform Prince Lotor about Keith's... she didn't know _what_ had happened to him, exactly. One second he had been fine, and the next, he had completely blanked out. He seemed to have recovered, however...

"What?"

Keith's sharp tone drew her out of her thoughts, and she realized he was looking straight at her. She suspected he didn't like being stared at. Probably reminded him too much of being gawked at by those in the arena, who viewed him as a spectacle.

The red paladin of Voltron, turned feral and set loose on arena beasts. She had been instructed by Lotor to observe a few of his... _matches_. If it hadn't been for Kova, they probably never would have been able to establish that he still possessed intelligence. Even then, she refused to believe it until he stepped foot on their ship, clearly still with his wits about him.

She still knew what he was capable of. That, combined with his uncertain loyalties, was enough to make her not trust him. There was no telling when he might revert back to a simple beast.

"Nothing." Acxa said.

Keith frowned, clearly not buying it. "Look, if you have something to say to me, why don't you just spit it out?"

She blinked at the phrase- it appear humans were quite fond of these... odd figures of speech. Thankfully, the meaning of this one was easy to discern.

"Have you recovered?" Acxa inquired. She didn't trust him, that was a fact, but she wasn't heartless- _something_ in that room had greatly effected him, to the point where he had ceased breathing. She just didn't understand _what_.

And he was... young. She did not know what eighteen cycles of life was to a human, but to a Galra, he was nearly still a child. And the Altean princess had him fighting on the front lines of a war?

She supposed that they were no better. But at least with Lotor, he would be safer- she just wished he would understand that. For all that she didn't trust him, she knew that Lotor merely had his best interests at heart- just like he had saved her, and had come to save the others. Lotor seemed confident that he would understand that with time, but so long as he clung to the paladins, she doubted he ever would.

Keith just snorted. "What do you care?"

Acxa frowned. She did, but she couldn't blame him for thinking otherwise. "I may not trust you, but it does not change the fact that Prince Lotor has accepted you as one of his own. So yes, I do care."

Keith merely stared at her for a second longer, before tearing his gaze away. "I'm fine. It won't happen again."

She didn't know if she bought that, but Keith seemed determined not to talk about it. She supposed he trusted her just as little as she trusted him.

"Fine." Acxa said. "We should be out of this hyperspace jump in a varga."

"Good to know." Keith remarked.

He lapsed into silence then, only the tip of his tail twitching to let her know he was even still breathing. It was curled protectively around himself, and it was clear his thoughts were... elsewhere.

She just didn't know where.


	16. traitor

New year, new chapter! How's everybody doing? We're here at chapter sixteen, and it's time for a ball to drop! I will note in advance that if things go as planned, there should be a slight time skip come chapter seventeen, but I'll note that in the chapter itself, so hopefully no one will be too confused! As always, thanks for reading, and until next update!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter sixteen**

 **traitor**

* * *

The journey back from Puig was perhaps one of the most difficult things she had ever experienced.

It was an absurd thing to say, she knew. After experiencing war, the loss of her planet and her people, and enduring combat herself, this should be nothing in comparison. But the knowledge that she held did not rest easy with her, not when she was required to keep it a secret from the paladins.

Required by _who_ , one might ask. By common sense, really. They had barely managed to take back Puig, and in truth, she knew that the only reason they had succeeded was because the enemy never meant to truly claim it in the first place. This... _Prince Lotor_ , his motivation was not to recapture Puig, but rather to assess the state of the paladins- and she knew that it was a test that they had all failed.

Now the Empire knew that the black lion was no longer functional. And while _she_ knew it was only temporary, there was a lot that could happen in two movements.

She could not burden the rest of the paladins with this information just yet. She could wait at least until Shiro woke- or so she hoped. If she was right, and if Keith truly were in the hands of the enemy, she did not know how long she had before they decided to make that fact known.

The paladins were one thing- but Kolivan and the Blade of Marmora were quite another. In order to determine her next course of action, she needed all the information that they possessed on this Prince Lotor. Simply leaving Keith there was not an option, not when it was her fault that the Galra Empire had managed to capture him in the first place.

She _would_ free him. She owed him nothing less.

And beyond that... she needed to tell _someone_ about this, or she knew she was going to break. She was tempted to speak with Coran, but he was too close. No, she needed to speak to someone who she knew could be objective- so Kolivan it was.

She kept her initial contact with him brief, merely requesting a meeting when he had time. She did not expect him to make time so quickly- half a varga did not seem like a lot of time to properly digest the information she held herself, much less think about how to tell it to someone else. Perhaps it was for the best, though- if she were given longer to linger on it, she might just change her mind.

She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to think Keith would betray them of his own free will. It was easier to think that he was being manipulated somehow. And it wasn't as if she knew for _certain_ that the pilot of the royal fighter had been Keith- it was really just a guess.

But she also knew that the red lion would not refrain from attacking because of anyone else.

That was how she found herself in the red lion's hangar, only a few doboshes later. Gazing up at the mighty lion, she heaved a long sigh.

"What would _you_ have me do?" Allura inquired.

But the red lion had no guidance to give her, it seemed. Resolving herself to that, she simply rested a hand against its massive jaw, pressing her forehead against it, trying to draw strength from it. Though it had no answers, it still rumbled faintly in response to her touch, and she swore that she could feel it mourn.

Yes, she thought, she supposed this was a form of loss as well.

"You miss him," Allura stated, "-I understand. I will bring him back if I can."

The red lion rumbled again, softer than she had ever heard it. Drawing her head away, she squared her shoulders. She was about to inform one of their closest allies that a former paladin had betrayed them. Whether it was by choice or not, the latter far more likely, it stung too much of the past for her to be fully comfortable with.

She had still yet to get over Zarkon's betrayal. She did not know what she would do if she had to face that again. What the _universe_ would do.

But above all... above all, this was not a feeling that she wished on her fellow paladins. She knew firsthand just how crushing it could be.

Whatever the truth, she only prayed that Voltron could endure.

* * *

By the time she landed, Kolivan was waiting for her. Even with his mask up, she recognized him at once. The Blade leader's armor was distinct, hard to miss.

She also didn't fail to note the fact that he was alone.

"Kolivan," Allura began, trying not to dwell on that fact, "-I should thank you, for finding the time to meet with me so quickly. It could not have been easy."

"Any information about Prince Lotor is vital, princess." Kolivan told her, making it sound so simple. "I thought it wise to learn what you knew quickly."

Allura nodded. It was reasonable enough. Over the past few movements, she had come to learn just how efficient the Blade of Marmora was at gathering intelligence- they truly did have spies all over the Galra Empire. So for them to simply lack any relevant intelligence... that was indicative of just how elusive the Galra prince had been.

"I understand." Allura said. "Then let us discuss the matter at once."

Kolivan merely gave her a curt nod in response, leading her into the base proper. It was only the second time that she had been here, and she still wasn't truly used to it. Perhaps it was simply because of the fond memories that she tied to it, but the Castle of Lions simply seemed _warmer_ than the Blade's base- or maybe it was the fact that it was rare, even within their own base, to see Blades without their masks.

She understood the importance of anonymity, but surely there was no risk in showing their faces to each other? Or perhaps it was simply because she was here- which still did not sit well with her. They were allies, were they not? Would it truly be so bad if she knew their faces?

But she brushed the thought aside- that was not what she was here to discuss. How the Blade of Marmora chose to operate was their business.

Kolivan lead her to a briefing room. She thought she recognized it from some of his transmissions, though she couldn't be certain. Once inside, he lowered his mask, and now she truly did frown- he seemed... displeased, perhaps.

But then, the Blade leader could be rather difficult to read. Perhaps it was simply her imagination.

"I take it there were no issues in securing Puig." Kolivan began, skipping any preamble. He clasped his arms behind his back, watching her with an assessing gaze that seemed to come naturally to him.

Allura merely nodded. "Yes. We still have the Castle in orbit, just in case the Galra attempt to return. But I do not think they will."

"You sound confident." Kolivan observed.

"I believe today was a test," Allura told him, "-one that I am afraid we failed."

Kolivan frowned. "They know about the black lion."

"I am afraid so." Allura admitted. "But that is not what I came here to discuss."

Kolivan merely arched a brow, but otherwise waited for her to continue. Bracing herself, Allura squared her shoulders. She was not the only one who had been trained to present herself in a way that displayed no weaknesses.

"During the battle, the red lion displayed some rather... unusual behavior." Allura began. "It locked me out. It would seem the lion was refusing to fight."

She knew Kolivan controlled himself well, as one would expect, but his lack of reaction to her words seemed almost too much. She frowned, but decided to persist in her briefing. "It was only once Lotor's flagship began to fire on the Castle that the red lion allowed me inside. And even then, it seemed hesitant to attack one fighter in particular."

Glancing over towards the console, Allura's eyes darted just as quickly back towards Kolivan. "May I?"

Kolivan wordlessly nodded, subtly stepping back so that she had better access to it. She gave him a faint smile in thanks, before she linked it to her gauntlet's computer. Before she had left, she had downloaded what relevant information she could from the Castle's computers. She had also proceeded to erase said data, just in case any of the other paladins had made the connection, and wanted to double check.

She didn't think any of them had, but she didn't know how long it would stay that way. They were all perceptive in their own right.

"This is the fighter in question," Allura began, displaying several images on the screen, "-for some reason, this fighter, and this fighter alone, the red lion refused to attack. I had to coax it into doing so."

Kolivan's brows furrowed, studying the fighter. "And the fighter?"

"That is the strangest part." Allura admitted. "For some reason, the fighter _also_ refused to attack the red lion. In fact, its pilot seemed to spend the entire battle simply toying with the paladins. At first I thought it was merely because Lotor was testing us, but..."

"...but now," Allura had to force herself not to avert her eyes- this was no easy thing to admit, "-now I am not so sure."

Kolivan simply took in her words, with a watchful gaze. Turning towards the console himself, he placed a hand on it. "There is something I must show you as well."

Blinking, she turned her head, brow furrowing as the Blade leader brought up several images on screen. They looked as if they had been pulled from security footage of some kind- she recognized the fighter in some of them as being the royal fighter they had dealt with, though she could not be certain if it were the same one or not. She assumed that Lotor had multiple such fighters in his possession.

But it was not the fighter that was the central figure of the images. Nor was it Acxa, whom she recognized from the data the Kolivan had already shared with him.

No, the focus here was on another, clad in the same armor as Acxa was. One who possessed white hair and a tail, covered in purple scales, just as the Puigans had described.

They left out, however, the part where he possessed a _bayard_. Its form had been warped, but it was very much still recognizable. In fact, it looked rather similar to the one Zarkon had used, except this one...

...this one had red accents.

She felt herself take a step back. No. It could not be. She knew what she had theorized herself, but this was... this couldn't be right.

But the more she looked at the Galra, the more she saw it. The shape of his jaw, the set of his lips, the style of his hair, if not the shade... he was tall, far too tall, but that body type, thin, but with lean muscle... it was all the same.

This Galra, this _general_... impossible as it was, they were Keith.

"I do not understand," the words slipped out, "-how can this be?"

This didn't make any sense. Keith wasn't Galra. And though she believed that Haggar was capable of much, to be able to rewrite the entire genome of a living being... she did not think such a thing was even possible.

Kolivan didn't even so much as look at her. She wished that he would. "One of our operatives sent me these images shortly after your transmission."

"Where were these images taken?" Allura demanded.

She would not accept this. She _refused_ \- not without seeing him herself. If Keith were truly Galra, then what did that mean? Was this merely the product of the witch's experiments, or had he simply been hiding his true nature all this time? Had he _willingly_ joined the Empire?

The thought gnawed at her. No. She could not go through this again.

This time, Kolivan did look at her. She changed her mind. She wished that he hadn't. "I take it you recognize him."

"That did not answer my question." Allura told him. "Where were these images taken? I need to know."

Kolivan merely frowned. "On a base belonging to a commander named Ranveig."

"Give me the coordinates." Allura demanded. " _Now_."

"And what will you do if I tell you?" Kolivan challenged. "Ranveig is one of the most dangerous commanders in the Empire. If you go, you'll only get yourself killed."

She bristled, not liking the way she was being spoken to. But after a moment, she drew in a breath, realizing that Kolivan was correct- she wasn't being rational. Even if she had the coordinates, going there alone would resolve nothing, and likely would only make things even worse.

"My apologies," Allura began, "-you are correct."

Kolivan's gaze lingered for a second longer, before it returned back towards the screen. "It is I who needs to apologize to you, princess."

Allura looked towards him in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"As I am certain you are already aware, for a time, Zarkon was in possession of the red lion." Kolivan began, and she nodded- they'd had to free it from Sendak's ship. _Keith_ had to free it from Zarkon's ship. "He developed a method of scanning for the lions at close range, and sent out a number of scout teams in an effort to locate the other lions. We made sure to plant as many Blades as possible into those teams, in the hopes of preventing him from obtaining any more lions."

"One of those scouts was sent to Earth, where they picked up traces of the blue lion." Kolivan explained, bringing up a new image on the screen, this time of a woman, whose eyes were almost eerily familiar. "After which, we briefly lost contact with her."

Allura frowned. She wasn't sure she liked where this was going. " _How_ briefly?"

"A little over two deca-phoebs." Kolivan reported. "Her ship had been damaged in a skirmish with her fellow scout."

Two deca-phoebs. Two deca-phoebs was plenty of time to have a child. The more she looked at this woman, the more she could see the resemblance. If not for the fact that she was Galra, she would be nearly a mirror image of Keith.

"So what you are saying is," Allura began, looking over towards Kolivan, "-that this operative is Keith's mother? I cannot help but notice that you failed to mention this earlier."

Her tone came out harsher than she intended for it to, but she could not help it. She was in a foul mood at the moment, which only seemed to worsen with every tick. And she got the feeling the news would only get worse from here.

"Until recently, I was unaware." Kolivan stated. "It was not included in her report."

Allura narrowed her eyes. So all this time, Keith had been part Galra? She bit her lip. That in itself should not be an issue. Perhaps if this had been even a phoeb ago, her reaction might be different, but she had since come to understand that there were still Galra who could be trusted.

No. The issue lay in his current actions. Drawing in a long breath, her gaze focused again on the images of Keith. Looking at him, she realized that even if he _were_ part Galra, that there was simply no way that his Galra genes could ever become so pronounced- not on their own, at least. It was as if the more Galra he had become, the less he looked like his mother- which simply made no sense.

Therefore, she could only assume that the transformation was something that had occurred while in captivity. Which still left plenty of unanswered questions.

"How did you come to learn this?" Allura inquired.

"The operative I previously mentioned is Keith's mother." Kolivan said simply.

She felt herself pale. Oh. She could only imagine the woman's shock- she did not know the full circumstances, nor her reasons for leaving, but she was quite certain that she did not expect to ever meet her son again, especially not like this.

To say nothing of her _own_ shock. Now that she wasn't looking for the similarities, all she could see were the differences- without the bayard, she might never have even thought to look, at least, not at first. He looked nothing like the silent yet oftentimes impulsive red paladin she had once known- she could not even begin to imagine what such a transformation had entailed.

Pain, likely.

Looking up at Kolivan, Allura locked eyes with him. "Tell me everything you know."

* * *

Slumping back into the pilot's seat, Allura closed her eyes.

What Kolivan knew was almost more than she wanted to hear. She was still clinging to the hope that Keith was simply being manipulated, so to hear that by all appearances, he was acting out of his own free will...

...she didn't know _what_ to think. She didn't want to believe that another paladin could have betrayed her. Betrayed them all. She wanted to believe that if Keith had joined Lotor, that he had his reasons for it. It was a silly thing to think- _of course_ he had his reasons, but she simply hoped that those reasons were of the sort that meant he wasn't actually betraying them, not truly.

But she couldn't think of how.

What could she possibly tell the other paladins? It was one thing when she simply thought he was being manipulated, but to learn everything she had... that Keith had been part Galra all along, that he had likely chosen to join Lotor _willingly_...

Though she supposed it wasn't as if he had a lot of options. They had effectively abandoned him to his fate, even if in truth, she knew that they had never stopped searching for him. She had replaced him as a paladin of Voltron. How could he possibly _not_ hate them after everything he had been through?

Lotor and his half-Galra generals must have offered him something they never could. Safety, freedom... acceptance, even. She cringed to think of it, how such a reveal would have gone even a phoeb earlier. She wanted to believe that the revelation of his Galra blood wouldn't have changed things between them, but if she was going to be honest, she knew better than to think that.

She couldn't speak for the other paladins, only herself. But she could certainly understand how Keith might come to the conclusion that his Galra blood might cause them to resent him, even view him with suspicion.

All the more so with his appearance being as it was currently. It would be one thing if they were to learn it while he still appeared human, but now... she drew in a sharp breath. Now there was no denying his heritage.

They _all_ had reasons to loathe the Galra. She had lost her planet, her people to them. Pidge had lost her family. Shiro had lost his freedom, his arm, and his peace of mind.

Hunk and Lance hadn't lost anything to them, not really, and she hoped it _stayed_ that way. But Hunk had seen what the Galra had done to the Balmera, and Lance... beyond all the brashness, Lance had a good heart, she knew, and a strong sense of justice to go with it. He had every reason to want to stop the Galra Empire before they could reach Earth.

For the moment, she had urged Kolivan to keep this information between them. He had agreed, though he'd seemed hesitant. She had assured him that she would inform the paladins once Shiro woke up, which had always been her plan, but now...

...now she was not so sure. The severity of the news had changed.

Being manipulated was one thing.

Being a _traitor_ was something quite different.

Opening her eyes, she gazed at the red lion's controls. Resting her hands on them, she drew in a long breath.

"You _knew_ ," Allura whispered, almost in accusation, "-and yet you said nothing."

The red lion only rumbled in response, seemingly pointing out the fact that it was Keith who had severed their bond himself. She frowned. She had guessed as much, but actually hearing it added yet another layer of uncertainty to the situation- as if it could possibly need any more.

If he called, the red lion would have gone to him- even if he now served under the banner of the Galra Empire. That was how far the red lion's loyalty extended.

The red lion merely rumbled in affirmation. She wanted to be angry, but she couldn't. The lions were sentient, yes, but they existed on a different level than the rest of them. It was the same reason Shiro had to fight so hard for full control of the black lion. The lions were bonded to their paladins- not to their cause.

But Keith had chosen to sever that bond himself. Not completely- such a bond could never be severed fully- but enough.

It was enough to give her a thin thread of hope. There was no question that Keith had betrayed them, much as it pained her to think that. Perhaps he had joined Lotor because he felt he had no other choice- perhaps the offer of freedom had simply been too tantalizing to resist. Even just from the small details that Kolivan knew, she could hardly blame him- his time as Haggar's prisoner sounded absolutely abhorrent.

But at the very least, he refused to completely betray the paladin cause. That was a small comfort.

A lot could happen in two movements. Perhaps she could find the answers she sought _before_ Shiro awoke- and before she had to tell the other paladins the truth.

Perhaps not. But she could at least _try_.

* * *

Tucking his helmet underneath his arm, Keith let out a long sigh. There was no welcome committee waiting for them when they returned to Lotor's flagship, but he'd been here long enough to understand that meant everyone was probably on the bridge- or at least, that was where they would find Lotor. It also meant that they were expected to head there, even though all he really wanted to do was bury himself in the training room for the next few hours.

His visit to Ranveig's base had given him plenty to think about- which was exactly what he didn't want to do.

But still, he let his feet lead him towards the bridge, following behind Acxa. She periodically glanced back, shooting him looks that he couldn't entirely gauge. For his part, he just pretended not to notice them. He just wasn't in the mood right now.

He couldn't stop thinking about Krolia, about the weapon- not to mention Ranveig's comments. They had been on his mind ever since he had left the base- and when it wasn't those, his thoughts drifted towards Shiro and the black lion.

It was starting to be a little much.

"Ah, you've returned." Lotor stood to greet them. He was alone on the bridge, so either the other three were somewhere else on the ship, or they had been given missions of their own. "Good. How was your trip?"

 _Trip_. Like they had gone on a quick vacation to Disneyland instead of visiting the base of a warlord. Keith fought the urge to snort.

"We were able to ascertain the nature of Ranveig's weapon." Acxa stated. "I don't think it will be useful."

Lotor hummed, no doubt taking her words into consideration. "I trust your judgement. But just to be safe, what exactly is it that we are dealing with here? I would not put it past Ranveig to try and use it to usurp power. Certainly not from my father, but from _me_..."

"...well, that is a different story."

Acxa spared him a brief glance, one that did not go unnoticed. He just grit his teeth and tried to ignore it. As long as she didn't mention his panic attack, it would be fine. Then again, what were the odds of that? Acxa was as loyal to Lotor as they came. He doubted she would be leaving anything out from her report, even with him still in the room.

"Ranveig has apparently begun to tentatively explore the Quantum Abyss." Acxa explained. "The weapon is a biological creature that was brought back from one of his expeditions."

Lotor raised his brows at that, momentarily looking surprised. "You mean to tell me he brought something back from the Quantum Abyss?"

"Yes." Acxa replied. "He appears to be using the enriched quintessence his second in command discovered aboard a destroyed cargo ship, and is fusing it with the creature."

"That sounds like a rather risky business." Lotor observed, his lips set in a tight frown.

The news bothered him, to the extent that he was willing to show it. Keith wasn't sure what to make of that, but he filed it away for later.

"Lieutenant Krolia certainly seems to think so." Acxa told him, and Keith tried not to flinch at Krolia's name. "She claimed that thus far, they had no success in actually training the creature, and was doubtful that they would be able to. I believe her claims were genuine."

"We will continue to monitor the project," Lotor instructed, "-but I believe your assessment is correct. Ranveig is toying with powers that I am not certain he fully understands."

Saluting, Acxa bowed her head. "Understood."

"Now," Lotor began, "-is that all?"

Keith tried not to cringe. Great. Here it came.

"Yes," Acxa told him, "-that's everything."

Blinking, Keith tried not to look too shocked, but he still couldn't help but stare at Acxa. She wasn't going to mention it?

Lotor frowned slightly, but didn't seem to question it. "Good."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith bit his lip. Acxa lifted her head, glancing slightly in his direction, but he quickly turned away, looking instead at Lotor. "So... where's everyone else?"

"Narti and Ezor are out gathering information." Lotor replied. "Zethrid is busy with," the prince tilted his head slightly, and he swore that he looked almost vaguely amused, "-another task. They should be back in a few vargas."

That was a pretty vague answer. But it was also exactly what he had come to expect from Lotor. If he was going to go into detail, he would, so there was no point in asking for clarification. Instead, he just gave him a curt nod of his head, folding his arms in front of his chest. The faster they got dismissed, and he could drown all of these thoughts and uncertainties with training, the better.

He wondered briefly about the paladins- about what they were doing now. They had probably already finished things up on Puig by now. The thought brought with a faint surge of guilt, but also apprehension- they were bound to be asking questions.

He tried to recall if any of the Puigans had heard someone say his name. He couldn't recall. Either way, there was nothing he could about it now.

"Right, got it." Keith said. "Is that all?"

Lotor merely looked bemused by his sharp tone. "That is all for now. When the others return, I will summon you both again. But for now, you are free to do as you wish, so long as you stay on the ship."

He got the feeling that last part was directed squarely at him. He wanted to roll his eyes- if he was going to try leaving, he would have done that a long time ago. He'd lost that option the moment he stepped foot in Central Command again.

It was Acxa who responded, however. "Understood."

Watching out of the corner of his eye as Acxa turned and left, Keith frowned. Sparing a brief glance back towards Lotor, he quickly followed behind her. Acxa's pace was quick, but so was his own- plus, his legs were longer, so that was always a boon.

She quickly noticed that he was following her, coming to an abrupt stop. Turning sharply to look at him, she frowned. "What is it?"

Keith froze, momentarily blanking before he quickly recalled what it was that he wanted to say. "You didn't tell Lotor about what happened."

"It didn't seem relevant." Acxa replied, keeping her own tone guarded. "And you appear fine now."

"Yeah," Keith said, "-fine."

 _Not fine_ , part of him wanted to say. But he had barely even confided in the other paladins- there was no way he would ever confide in Lotor's generals. He at least felt better in his own skin again, so as far as he was concerned, that was the most important thing.

Acxa didn't so much as break her stare, not even to blink. "Is that all you wished to say?"

Chewing on his lip, Keith gave her a quick nod of his head. "Yeah, that's all. Just... thanks, I guess."

Thanks? He hadn't meant to _thank_ her. He just wanted to know why she hadn't told Lotor. Judging from the way Acxa blinked, she hadn't expected him to either.

"I didn't do anything deserving of thanks." Acxa stated simply.

Maybe not. But it still meant something to him. He was willing to admit that.

"I just wanted to say it." He said, brushing past her. He got the feeling that if he stayed here any longer, he'd just end up saying something he'd regret. He didn't want to get close to the generals. "If you need me, I'll be in the training room."

"Is that wise?" Acxa asked.

"Trust me, I'll be fine." Keith told her, refusing to let himself dwell on the question. It didn't mean anything. If she was concerned, then she was only concerned about his capacity as a fellow general, not as another... well, he couldn't say human being. _He_ was, sort of, but she wasn't.

A fellow Galra? Yeah, that sounded right.

Acxa looked unconvinced, but she didn't move to stop him. He didn't stop until he reached the training room, only allowing himself to heave a sigh once he was secure inside of it. Leaning against the wall, he pulled out his knife, staring down at its wrapped hilt.

He wondered what would have happened if he'd showed it to Krolia. Closing his eyes, he tried to put it from his mind. It didn't matter. Maybe she was his mother. Maybe she wasn't. Either way, there was no point in trying to reconnect now, not with a woman who had abandoned him. It wouldn't change anything, wouldn't set him on a different path. There was no other path than this one- he just had to face that.

Opening his eyes, he stepped forward, squaring his shoulders. There was no point in dwelling on what couldn't be changed.

He had chosen this path. He couldn't have regrets now. From this point on, whatever he had to do, he would- as long as it meant he'd be able to continue supporting the paladins in his own way, he didn't mind if he was labeled a traitor.

That was a lie. He knew it. But maybe if he told himself that long enough, it would become the truth.

But mark his words- whatever it was Lotor was trying to do, he'd find out.

And if necessary, stop it.

He got the feeling it would be.


	17. alternate

Phew! This chapter was determined to fight me until the last, but I finally managed to finish it. We have hit our next time skip, though just like last time, we've only gone forward about two weeks from the previous chapter. Shiro's back on his feet, and it's finally time for the paladins to pay a visit to another reality! At first I was just going to have it all be just one chapter, but as I was writing it I realized I really needed to play it out, or risk having either the chapter be way too long, or be way too rushed, so I opted to split it into at least two chapters at the absolute minimum.

That said, please enjoy!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter seventeen**

 **alternate**

* * *

"Alright, Number One, looks like everything checks out."

Giving the Altean a weak smile, Shiro clenched his left fist. "Thanks, Coran. Sorry for all the trouble."

"Oh, think nothing of it!" Coran assured him. "Only I wish you had informed us about your condition sooner. You gave us all quite the fright!"

Shiro felt a twinge of guilt at his words. He knew that wasn't Coran's intention, but it didn't change the fact that he had a point. It wasn't like he had meant to hide his condition from the rest of the paladins, but it was just that there was never a good time to tell anyone about it. And after Keith disappeared...

...well, they needed a strong leader. Not someone whose body had a deadline.

But he guessed maybe he should have. Coran was right- he had caused them all needless worry, and while maybe the healing pod had been able to fix him up this time, there was no telling if he would be as lucky the next time.

Hopefully, there wouldn't _be_ a next time. Maybe they hadn't been able to find a way to heal him on Earth, but Coran had promised he'd look into the matter personally.

"So... you'll let me know if you come up with anything?" Shiro asked.

"Trust me, you'll be the first to know." Coran told him. "Now, why don't you go and see the other paladins? Everyone's dying to see you up and on your feet again."

Other paladins. It stung to know that still didn't include Keith. He had been in the healing pod for nearly a month, but in that time apparently nothing had changed.

"You're right," Shiro said, forcing himself to smile, "-I probably should."

Getting to his feet, Shiro ducked out of the med bay before Coran could stop him. There had been something awfully bittersweet to coming out of the healing pod to the waiting arms of the paladins. He was touched that they all cared about him so much, but Keith's absence meant that he couldn't truly enjoy it.

At least there was good news to be had on the war front. From the sound of it, the paladins, together with the Blade of Marmora, had managed to free several new planets from Galra control, all of whom had agreed to take part in something called the _Voltron Coalition_. He was proud of the work that had been done while he was in recovery, but more than anything, he was eager to get back into the swing of things.

He'd wasted enough time already.

Everyone was waiting for him in the lounge. _Not everyone_ , the darker part of him whispered, the one that wouldn't let him forget about his failure.

As if he ever could.

It was Allura who spotted him first, a tight smile drawing across her face. "Shiro! Did Coran give you a clean bill of health?"

Shiro responded with a tight smile of his own. "Seems like it."

"Guess this means Voltron's back in action!" Lance grinned, pounding his fist into his empty hand. "Alright! Now we can _really_ kick some Galra butt."

Shiro's smile faltered. Without him around to pilot the black lion, they hadn't been able to form Voltron. That was clearly bad, but that wasn't what caused him discomfort. It was just the stark reminder that even without Keith, they had been able to form Voltron, and had been doing so for months now. At this point, Allura had been piloting the red lion for much longer than Keith ever had.

Sometimes it just felt like they had replaced him.

"We can't just rush into battle, Lance," Hunk told him, "-Shiro just got out of the cryopod like, three hours ago. He needs some time to rest, relax."

"Oh yeah," Lance frowned, "-sorry, Shiro."

"There's no need to apologize." Shiro told him. "And you're right. We probably should get into the swing of things as soon as we can."

"I'm pretty sure the Voltron Coalition would love to actually _see_ Voltron." Pidge supplied.

"I already contacted its leaders to let them know that Shiro has fully recovered." Allura said, before hesitating. "Assuming that you have, of course."

"I feel great, actually." Shiro honestly told her.

Allura nodded. "Good. Let us hope that Coran can find a more permanent solution for your... _condition_."

Shiro's smile dropped. "I probably owe you all an apology. I didn't mean to keep it from you, there was just never a good time to bring it up."

"Hey man, don't worry about it." Hunk assured him. "Things have been rough lately. We get it."

He didn't specify, but he knew he was talking about Keith. He took it to heart, using it to remind himself that the team hadn't forgotten about him. Yes, maybe Allura was the red lion's paladin now, but that didn't change the fact that Keith would always be part of the team- and that they would _never_ stop looking for him.

Not until they found him.

Shiro refused to consider any other option. He couldn't.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Allura's brows crease. He was just about to ask when she cut him off, giving him a weak smile. "Shiro, do you think I could have a word with you? In private, perhaps?"

Shiro blinked. "Sure."

A grateful smile crossed the princess' face, but he couldn't help but notice that it looked a little somber. Following her out into the hall, his frown only deepened when she began to lead him further away from the lounge- and from any possible prying ears.

"Allura?" Shiro asked. "What's this about?"

Allura shifted on her feet, looking uncomfortable. "I hate to bring this up so soon after you woke up, but I am afraid there is a matter of critical importance that I must discuss with you."

Shiro's brows furrowed. "I take it this isn't about my condition."

"No!" Allura said quickly, shaking her head. "No, of course not. While yes, I do wish you would have consulted with us sooner in regards to it, it is hardly like I plan to remove you from the role of black paladin because of it. We could hardly replace you."

 _But you could replace_ _ **Keith**_ , some bitter part of him whispered.

No, he tried to tell himself. That wasn't what had happened. They hadn't replaced Keith, they had just found a temporary solution for a problem they didn't have any choice but to address. Once they found him, he would return to being the red lion's paladin. That had always been the plan.

"Actually," Allura began, her shoulders slumping, "-it's about Keith."

He blinked, wondering if the princess had somehow read his mind. Opening his mouth to say something, he was forced to snap it shut, some kind of alarm going off throughout the ship. It wasn't one that he had ever had cause to hear before, but whatever it was, it was enough to turn Allura pale as a sheet.

"Allura...?"

"It cannot be," she whispered, "-this is an old Altean distress code."

He guessed whatever Allura planned to tell him about Keith, it was going to have to wait.

* * *

This was shaping up to be one hell of a first day back.

That was all Shiro could think as he stared out onto the Altean ship- an old deep space exploration type, according to Allura. At first glance, it looked as if it had been caught in the middle of some kind of wormhole, but thus far, everything that they had managed to gather about the strange energy field had only proven that whatever this thing was, it wasn't that.

Problem was, aside from that, they didn't know _anything_ about it.

And Allura wanted to go in there.

"Princess, I'm not sure this is such a good idea." Shiro stated. "I understand that you're concerned for your people, but-"

"But nothing," Allura cut him off, her tone a mixture of hope and almost desperation, "-there could be Alteans on that ship. _Living_ Alteans."

"Princess, I know how you feel, but it's simply too dangerous." Coran told her.

Allura's frown just deepened. It was clear that she wasn't having any of that. "Then I will go alone, if I must."

Right. This wasn't how he had planned to spend his first day out of the cryopod, but it looked like he had no choice. Heaving a long sigh, Shiro squared his shoulders. "Alright. We'll take Voltron out to investigate the ship."

"Uh, are you sure?" Hunk asked. "Because our probe kind of blew up."

"Allura knows more about Voltron than any of us." Shiro said. "If she thinks it can pass through... whatever this thing is, odds are, she's probably right."

At least, he hoped. Surviving a flare up of his disease that could have very well killed him under other circumstances only to be blown to bits by some kind of strange energy field... well, it wouldn't be totally out of line with how the past few years of his life had been going, but it would sure be one hell of a disappointing ending, that was for sure.

Like he said. One hell of a first day back.

* * *

The red lion seemed distant as she boarded it.

Normally, Allura would have thought more of it. But at the moment, her thoughts were fixed on one thing- the Altean ship, and the possibility that there might still be more Alteans alive. She did not know how, but one thing was clear to her- that if there was a chance, however slim, that she was not alone in the universe, then she could hardly ignore it.

She was not wholly unaware that this could be some sort of trap. Nor was she ignorant to the possible dangers of what lay before them.

It simply didn't matter.

 _Alteans_. She clung to that thought like a light in the darkness. If there was even the slightest chance that this could end with her rescuing members of her own kind, then she could not pass it up.

Breathing in, she gripped the red lion's controls. There was a moment of hesitation before they flared to life, as if the red lion was uncertain about allowing her to assume control.

She didn't dwell on it.

* * *

As Voltron disappeared into the glowing vortex of quintessence, Keith felt himself hold his breath. It was only when there was no ensuing explosion that he dared to let it out.

"Amazing," Acxa breathed, almost in awe, "-your theory about Voltron was finally proven correct."

"I had no doubts that it would." Lotor simply stated, before glancing his way. "There, you see? Everything is going just as I said it would."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith's tail lashed behind him in annoyance. Sure, maybe Voltron hadn't exploded, but that didn't make him feel any more at ease with this situation. It was hard enough to grasp the idea that there could be alternate realities, but the idea that Voltron had gone through some kind of a portal to one?

But they _must_ have, because he couldn't feel the red lion anymore. It was better to think that than to think that it had been torn apart. He didn't feel his connection with it in the same way as he had before, when he had been sent into battle against the paladins. That was over two weeks ago now, so maybe his former lion had begun to understand that when he'd cut off their bond, he was serious.

That was probably for the best. It should embrace Allura. She was bound to be a better paladin than he'd ever been.

Speaking of Voltron...

He wanted to take more joy in the fact that there _was_ a Voltron. He had seen the black lion leave its hangar, and with it, he had felt a surge of relief. It had been ages since anyone had seen it- and now, here it was.

Even Lotor looked a bit surprised. _Pleased_ , even.

He huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Of course he would. Everything was going exactly as he planned. Why _wouldn't_ he be pleased? Voltron would go in, get this _trans-reality comet_ Lotor kept going on about, and get out.

After which, they would take it. It was an order that he was loathe to follow, but he didn't have much of a choice. After his visit to Ranveig's base, he had vowed to put aside his own hang ups and devote himself to the role he'd been given. If he ever wanted to find out anything about Lotor, then he _had_ to gain his trust.

And that meant acting the part. Even if it meant doing things he didn't agree with.

He'd long since established a spot for himself on the bridge, hanging back from the others. It had been a month since he had taken on the role of one of Lotor's generals, but he still tried to keep a distance from the rest.

Even if he _was_ begrudgingly beginning to understand them.

He guessed it was unavoidable. They all lived on the same ship. It shouldn't come as a surprise that no matter how much he tried to avoid them, he was already starting to get a hold on what they were like. He hadn't exactly sought out company on the Castle of Lions either, but he had still ended up with a pretty good grasp of what the other paladins were like.

And... that was fine, he guessed. Knowing what his fellow generals were like might even help him. He just didn't want to risk it going further than that.

"Personally, I was hoping to see more fireworks." Zethrid lamented.

" _Zethrid_." Ezor hissed, looking pointedly in his direction.

Looking towards him, Zethrid just shrugged, seemingly indifferent. "I just like a good explosion. Nothing personal."

Keith just heaved a disgruntled sigh. If he let himself get riled up every time someone spoke negatively of Voltron, he'd just end up wearing himself out. He was supposed to have _betrayed_ Voltron anyways- he couldn't exactly jump to their defense at every given opportunity. So instead of saying anything, he just turned his gaze away, fixing it on the glowing quintessence vortex in the distance.

"What happens if they don't come back?" Keith asked.

"Then we lose our only means of getting the comet." Lotor stated simply.

Keith narrowed his eyes. Lotor made it sound so _simple_. He couldn't shake the feeling that things would work out for him even if Voltron didn't make it back from the alternate reality. Then again, who knew? Maybe this alternate reality was a nice one. Peaceful. Maybe they wouldn't _want_ to leave.

He kind of hoped so. Sure, maybe without Voltron, _this_ reality would be screwed, but he wasn't exactly thinking about the big picture. At least that way, the paladins could live out the rest of their days in peace. They deserved that, and more.

It was a nice thought.

But he doubted it.

* * *

"So is this place giving anyone else haunted ghost ship vibes, or is it just me?"

Shiro had to admit, Hunk was on to something. There was something almost eerie about this ship- and that wasn't even including the fact that passing through the portal to the other side had resulted in them losing contact with Coran and the Castle. Not to mention the biorhythms that definitely hadn't been there before.

Yeah. Definitely a hell of a first day back.

Still, ghost ship or not, they pressed forward. Allura lead them to what looked to be some kind of main power hub. To his surprise, she was successful in rebooting the ship's systems, not only turning the artificial gravity back on, but the life support systems as well.

"What do you think happened here?" Pidge asked.

"I'm not sure." Allura frowned. "Perhaps if we check the ship's logs, we might be able to find their last transmission. Perhaps that could shed some light on our mystery ship."

"Do it." Shiro nodded, still feeling on edge. "Hunk? Any lead on those biorhythms?"

"I keep trying to pinpoint them, but I think something about the energy vortex is messing with my sensors." Hunk told him.

"Keep trying." Shiro told him. "If there really is someone in here who needs assistance, the faster we find them, the better."

"Agreed." Lance echoed. "Hunk's right, this place is totally giving me the creeps."

"Okay, I've found what seems to be the ship's last transmission." Pidge piped up. "Only... that's weird. It looks like it was sent over ten thousand years ago. Allura?"

Allura frowned, shaking her head. "I cannot seem to recall if my father had any contact with Commodore Trayling after the war began. Perhaps Coran might know."

"Yeah, too bad we can't get in contact with him." Hunk said, before glancing up, gaze nervously darting about the room. "Uh, did I just say that out loud?"

Allura gave him an understanding smile. "You did. But you are correct. The fact that we have lost contact with Coran is... disturbing, to say the least."

"Do you think we should like, go back?" Lance asked, before squinting. " _Can_ we go back?"

"Well, I mean, theoretically, if we passed through the portal again..." Pidge trailed off, before her gaze darted towards Allura, and she thought better of it. "Look, let's just play the transmission. Maybe it'll tell us something useful."

"We are not leaving here until we find whoever it was that was sending the distress signal." Allura stated, before allowing herself to exhale. "But yes. Please, play the transmission."

She was tense, maybe even a little distracted, Shiro sensed, but not angry. But then, he didn't think she was.

"Alright, bringing it up now." Pidge said.

On screen, a gray haired Altean man appeared. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Allura's lips set themselves into a hard line. He wondered if she had known this _Commodore Trayling_ , and assumed that she likely had, at least to some degree. While he still couldn't shake the idea that this was some kind of trap, there was still a part of him that actually hoped that this would end with the princess being able to reunite with some living Alteans.

Even if said thought was tinged with a bitter flavor.

He wondered briefly what Allura was going to tell him about Keith, before they had been interrupted by the distress signal. If she'd pulled him out of the room, it was either something she wanted to discuss with him in private, or it was something the other paladins didn't know. Considering the fact that she had kept the fact that Zarkon had been the previous black paladin from them a secret...

...well, all he was saying was that he wouldn't put it past her.

That sounded meaner than he wanted it to. Good thing he hadn't said that out loud.

Instead of dwelling on what the princess hadn't had the time to say, he fixed his attention on the transmission. It was distorted, though he couldn't say if the damage was due to its age or some other factor. Trayling spoke of a comet, and claimed that he was in the process of bringing it back to Altea- but also stated that he didn't know if he'd make it that far.

Given the way the transmission ended, he'd say that he hadn't.

"This _still_ doesn't explain the biorhythms I picked up." Hunk pointed out.

"Perhaps-"

But Allura didn't get a chance to finish that thought. The vent behind them clattered to the ground, a pair of figures leaping down from it and immediately moving to attack. Lance was the first to retaliate, but Hunk was hot on his heels, knocking the less humanoid one off its feet with a powerful tackle.

The second, more humanoid figure didn't waste any time in retaliating, but Allura was faster. While she didn't have a bayard to rely on, her Altean strength alone was enough to overpower their second attacker, as she weaved into their guard. Grabbing their wrists, she hurled them over her shoulder, robbing them of their blaster in the same, swift move.

They grunted, and he made out the distinct sound of something shattering. He summoned his own bayard and turned to face down the attacker in question, before he froze.

How couldn't he? He was staring at his own face.

Or well, close enough. His doppelganger might not have the same scar over the bridge of his nose or the white forelock, but there was no mistaking his own face.

He wasn't the only one who noticed either. It stunned Hunk enough for his opponent to break free of his grip, rolling away to join the doppelganger. For his part, Shiro just stood there, slack jawed with shock, trying to process what he was seeing.

He knew they said that there were at least three people who looked like you, but what was the odds of meeting one of them this far out in space?

"Wait, okay, hold on," Lance began, saying what everyone was thinking, "-how can there be two Shiros?"

The doppelganger narrowed his eyes, finally seeming to take notice of him. He watched as surprise visibly crossed his features, probably mirroring his own face right about now.

"Who," Shiro slowly began, "-who are you?"

"I should be the one asking you that." His doppelganger said- and in a thick Scandinavian accent, no less. "Who are you, and what are you doing here with an _Altean_?"

They way he spat out _Altean_ caused Allura to narrow her eyes, but for the time being, she held her tongue. He couldn't blame her- frankly, it reminded him a lot of the way that Allura used to speak of the Galra, before they had joined forces with the Blade of Marmora. Still, right now, they just needed to focus on figuring out what was going on here.

"My name is Takashi Shirogane," Shiro began, "-I'm the paladin of the black lion of Voltron."

"Never heard of it." His doppelganger said. "Or you. I am Sven."

"What?" Lance squawked. "How can you not have heard of Voltron? We just totally wrecked Zarkon's butt! We should be like, famous by now!"

"Zarkon?" Sven's companion asked- and Shiro couldn't help but cringe. He knew that voice, and frankly, he was hoping he'd never have to hear it again. "That's impossible. King Zarkon has been dead for over ten thousand years."

Oh great. Now Slav was here too.

"He hasn't been-!" Lance cut himself off mid-protest, instead squinting at Sven's companion. "Wait, hold on. Aren't you Slav?"

Slav squinted. "I am Slav. Do I know you?"

"Uh, yeah?" Lance said, sounding unsure of himself. "I rescued you from a space prison?"

"You've never rescued me from anything," Slav said, before squinting further, "-unless..."

"-this is an alternate reality!" Pidge finished.

Okay. He was going to admit, he did not see that coming. Still, that would explain his Scandinavian doppelganger.

"Wait, so, you mean like Slav is always talking about?" Hunk asked. "I mean... not _this_ Slav, but you know, the _other_ Slav. Our Slav. The one who talks about alternate realities a lot?"

Sven merely rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's him."

"Pidge, are you sure?" Shiro asked.

"I'm positive." Pidge stated. "I think when we passed through that glowy, explode-y area, we somehow crossed through into an alternate reality."

"It... _is_ possible." Allura mused, as if she were trying to work this all out herself. "Especially if the comet that Commodore Trayling was referring to is a trans-reality one."

"A trans-reality what now?" Lance asked.

"Comet." Sven replied, his tone clipped. "And if _you've_ come here to take it," he pressed, glaring at Allura, who had long since lowered her stolen blaster, "-then I'll never let you leave with it, _Altean_."

Allura narrowed her eyes, tightening her grip on the stolen blaster, though she kept it lowered. "Were you the ones who attacked this ship and its crew?"

"We found them like this, but I can't say I'm sorry they're gone." Sven stated.

"Actually," Slav began, "-I am starting to suspect that perhaps these Alteans are not quite the same as ours. You said something about Zarkon?"

Lance frowned. "Well... yeah. You know, Emperor Zarkon, ruler of the Galra Empire? Big, mean, and purple? That Zarkon?"

A look of understanding crossed Slav's face. "I'm starting to get the picture now. You see, in our reality-"

He wasn't able to finish that sentence. His gauntlet beeped with some kind of alert, refocusing his attention to that. Maybe he was covered in fur, but Shiro could have sworn that Slav paled. "Oh no, more Alteans."

"Wait," Allura said, stunned, "- _more_ Alteans?"

"Their scanners must have picked up on your arrival." Slav informed them. "Sven, we need to move."

Sven said nothing, instead taking advantage of Allura's stunned state to recover his blaster. But he didn't use it to attack- instead, he and Slav- or well, _alternate reality_ Slav, appeared to be retreating, scrambling back into the vents they had come from.

"If I were you," Slav advised them, just before he and Sven vanished back into the vents, "-I'd run."

* * *

Keith's ears perked up, the faint sound of purring catching his attention. Glancing down towards his feet, a faint smile crossed his lips. Crouching down, he carefully stroked Kova's head, avoiding the sharp edges of his claws.

The alien cat purred, pressing his face deeper into his hand. He felt a smile tug at his lips, the tip of his own tail twitching behind him in what he had come to learn was an expression of happiness. It wasn't an emotion he often had the chance to feel lately, so he'd take it where he could get it.

Even if Kova being here usually meant Narti was nearby.

Casting a glance behind him, sure enough, there she was. She hung in the background, purposefully keeping her distance. Out of all of Lotor's generals, she was the one he was having the hardest time getting a grip on. Maybe it was just because she was mute, so they hadn't exactly been able to talk.

It wasn't like he had _completely_ been avoiding conversations with his fellow generals. He just hadn't been seeking them out. It was kind of hard not to talk to them sometimes, seeing as they all lived on the same ship, and often ran the same missions.

Like he said, he'd learned stuff about them over the course of the past month. And he was sure they had learned stuff about him too, as much as he tried to keep himself closed off. He didn't want to risk accidentally telling them something they could use against the paladins.

But Narti? He knew almost nothing about Narti.

What he _did_ know was pretty much what he had already suspected- that she used Kova as her eyes and ears. She had some kind of special power, kind of like how Ezor could turn invisible, and he guessed kind of like how his own sense of smell was several times stronger than even that of a normal Galra. He didn't know the specifics, but whatever it was, Lotor valued it as being critical for gathering intelligence.

She was also the only other Galra he'd met that had a tail, and he'd met a lot of Galra recently. He couldn't help but feel a strange sense of kinship with her because of that, though maybe _kinship_ was a bit too much. But he couldn't think of a better word, so it would have to do.

He moved to straighten himself, but not before Kova leapt onto his shoulders, apparently content to use him as a perch. He took care not to dislodge him as he rose to his feet, using his tail to give him a little extra balance. He was starting to get used to the finer points of having one, relying a little less on instinct, and more on learned experience.

That he _did_ have Narti to thank for. Only she probably didn't know it. He'd just spent a lot of time watching how she had used hers, and had picked up on that.

"Something wrong?" Keith asked.

Narti said nothing, but he didn't exactly expect her to. What she did was join him at the window. Lotor had dismissed them all from the bridge for the time being, though they were to remain on standby. He knew he should probably be using the time to get in some more training, or maybe to dig through more prisoner archives, but he got the feeling he wouldn't be able to focus on any of that.

Instead, he found himself here. He had been surprised to learn that Lotor's flagship even had an observation deck, but it did. From it, he had an ideal view of the quintessence vortex, from which Voltron had shown no signs of emerging.

Keith watched Narti with a slight frown, but she didn't move. Eventually heaving a sigh, he got the feeling that she wasn't going to leave. Fine.

Turning to stare out the window, Keith fixed his gaze back on the quintessence vortex. Kova carefully wrapped himself around his shoulders, and he allowed himself another small smile, reaching up a hand to stroke the cat's head again. The faint purr he made was calming, and if he was going to be honest, actually kind of helped offset his anxiety.

The paladins finding some kind of alternate reality where they could live out the rest of their lives in peace was, admittedly, a nice thought. But if he was being honest?

He wanted them to come back.

Gaze darting over towards Narti, he wondered if she had come here on purpose. It wasn't exactly a secret that he was fond of Kova. Maybe she had sensed how anxious he was, and had brought him here on purpose.

But maybe he was just reading too much into it.

After everything he'd been through, he had a pretty hard time believing that the Galra could be _kind_. And to do so without asking anything in return?

That was the hardest to believe of all.

* * *

Allura's mind was reeling.

How could it not? First, they had received an Altean distress call, which on it's own would have been enough. But what it had lead them to was like nothing she could have imagined- to think that they had truly crossed over into an alternate reality. She couldn't even fathom it.

And yet, they had. And the evidence of that was staring her in the face.

 _Alteans_.

There were a pair of them- possibly even three, if the one wearing the helmet was also Altean. The armor they wore was strange, but it was still reminiscent of the kind worn both by her father and by the paladins- evolved, perhaps, since she supposed this must be ten thousand years into a future in which Altea had not been destroyed.

They called her _Empress_.

The confusion among her fellow paladins was both palpable and understandable. Confusion was just one of the many emotions she was experiencing right now.

"Please," Allura said, her tone soft with wonder, "-stand."

The Alteans did so, as did the gladiators that accompanied them. With them was an alien the likes of which she had never seen before, who loomed over the rest. It was not so strange- back in her father's day, there had been many in the Altean military who did not possess even a drop of Altean blood. It was hardly a requirement.

It was the Altean woman with purple hair and green Altean marks, who spoke first. "I am Commander Hira, Empress. How can you be here? You put down the Galra Uprising and established the Altean Empire ten thousand years ago."

Altea? At the head of an Empire? She could not even fathom such a thing. Part of it felt wrong, and yet... these were her people. She found herself trusting them.

"I am afraid that where I am from, things are quite different." Allura stated. "Altea was destroyed ten thousand years ago, and I am among the last of my kind."

Or _was_ , she thought. Perhaps this was not her reality, but these were _still_ Alteans. Her heart wept to see others with Altean features. It had seemed so impossible, that she hadn't even dared to dream it.

Her words clearly caught the attention of the Alteans. It was the man who spoke, wearing garb that she suspected marked him as an alchemist of some fashion, though she could not be sure. "Where _are_ you from?"

"From another reality, it would seem." Allura stated.

"One hundred percent another reality." Pidge chimed in.

Hira blinked, looking towards the green paladin with a slight frown. It was as if she was only just now paying attention to those with her.

At once, Allura recalled just how much Shiro resembled that strange _Sven_ person. Perhaps they were even alternate reality counterparts, although she could not even begin to imagine a reality in which Shiro spat the word _Altean_ as if it were some kind of curse. Perhaps this reality's Shiro wasn't half the man the one from her reality was.

Either way, she was not about to let Hira mistake Shiro for him, which she suspected she might.

"My apologies," Allura began, "-I have yet to introduce my companions. These are the paladins of Voltron- Pidge, Hunk, Lance, and Shiro."

Hira's gaze settled on Shiro last, and although his appearance earned him a slight furrow of the brow, she chose to say nothing. Perhaps his differences outweighed his similarities- or perhaps it was just the simple fact that he was in her company, wearing armor that was clearly Altean in design that kept her from harboring any genuine doubts.

"It's an honor to meet you." Shiro said, and his voice was so sincere that it seemed to erase any lingering doubts that Hira might have had.

Indeed, the only one who appeared to still be paying any attention to Shiro was the one wearing the helmet, and even then, she was only guessing. Their visor was darkened, so it wasn't as if she could make out any of their features, nor even where they were truly looking.

She _did_ suspect that they might be Altean, though, if only because of the braid worn draped over their shoulder. What begun as black hair seemed to gradually fade into white- which, while uncommon, was still a color found amongst Alteans. Their armor was similar in design to that of Hira's, though less elaborate in design, perhaps indicating a lower, if not still substantial, rank. They wore a sword at their waist, and her heart leapt at the familiar sight of an Altean broadsword, its design apparently unchanged even after ten thousand years.

They seemed... oddly familiar, somehow.

"It is always an honor to meet those that the Empress calls her companions." Hira stated. "Allow me to introduce the rest of my crew. With me are Menelaos and his assistant, Moxilus, and my lieutenant, Akira."

 _Akira_. Allura blinked. It was a strange name for an Altean. Not one she had heard before.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," Allura said, before looking Akira's way, and added, "-all of you."

Hira noticed the direction of her gaze and turned on her heel, a slight frown gracing her features. "Akira, you are in the presence of our Empress. Remove your helmet."

Akira hesitated, but soon moved to comply.

Hira turned back to face her. "My apologies, Empress. He is capable, but I am afraid he is only half-Altean. His education is... _lacking_ in some areas."

But Allura didn't hear her. She suspected none of the paladins did.

 _Familiar_ , she had thought. Familiar was right. Even the presence of pointed ears and red Altean markings did nothing to disguise the familiar features.

"Sorry," his voice was just as familiar as his face, his tone rough and clipped, just as she remembered, "-it's just that you're a lot older in the history books."

It wasn't him. She knew that at once. By logic, the paladins should have as well, and yet...

...and yet that did not stop Shiro's breath from leaving his body.

"Keith?"


	18. akira

Chapter eighteen! Looks like this arc is going to last for about three chapters, which still falls more or less within my earlier estimate. Give me a chance to world build and I will world build away! That said, thanks for reading! I was hoping to get this out yesterday, but my mom fell while walking the dog so I had more pressing concerns. She's okay, though! Just a sprained ankle. The dog was very helpful (he was not).

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter eighteen**

 **akira**

* * *

"Keith?"

Shiro just stood there, his mouth slightly agape. His brain was attempting to process just what it was he was seeing, but maybe a month of deep freeze in the cryopod had left the gears a little rusted, because he just couldn't make sense of it. How was Keith here? And why was he... he was Altean. Why was he _Altean_?

Keith's doppelganger frowned, even the knot of his brows painstakingly familiar. "Who's Keith?"

Oh. The realization was abrupt. Right. They were in an alternate reality. He'd just met an alternate reality version of himself. This wasn't Keith- at least, not the Keith he knew.

The Altean features should have been clue enough. It was so strange to see him with pointed ears and Altean markings- but then there were his eyes, which were a lot more gray than he was used to, with vivid red irises. In the right light, Keith's eyes sometimes looked almost purple- not so for this strange new half-Altean Keith.

Akira, he dimly recalled. He'd been introduced as _Akira_.

"I... sorry," Shiro said, "-you just looked a little like someone I know."

Keith- _Akira_ \- frowned at that, and the expression was a near mirror of one he knew from Keith. It seemed the universe had found a new way to taunt him.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught the slight incline of Commander Hira's brow. Right. He might not have the full story of what was going on here, but he knew that somehow, his alternate reality counterpart- _Sven_ \- was working against the Alteans- and therefore was working against Hira. He'd seen the way she'd looked at him. He probably wasn't exactly making himself look all that good right now.

Eyes darting behind him, he quickly determined that at least he wasn't alone in his shock. Lance, Hunk, Pidge... they were all staring at Akira the same way he probably had been, just seconds ago. He couldn't blame them. The resemblance was uncanny.

Allura cleared her throat. "It is quite alright. I imagine I would be a bit older."

"There _are_ some portraits of you in your youth," Hira supplied, though no one had really asked, "-but they are a bit less common nowadays. Akira was raised off planet, and is still catching up to our history, I am afraid. He has not quite yet made it to the Galra Uprising."

Akira shifted on his feet. His helmet tucked under one arm, he briefly glanced over towards him, before his eyes darted away. "Not yet."

He didn't miss the way he'd looked at him. _Off planet_ , Hira had said. If Akira was only half-Altean, then was the other half human? How did he end up being part alien in the first place? Had Earth established contact with alien races sooner in this reality?

Did Akira... did he know Sven?

He bit his lip. Something about that thought didn't sit right with him. If Akira was with the Alteans, that meant he was on _their_ side- whatever side that was. It also meant he had to be working _against_ Sven.

Maybe it was just his own connection to Keith speaking, but he had a hard time picturing _any_ reality where that could be true. At least, not a reality where they knew each other.

"Okay, so wait," Lance piped up, "-we're _really_ in an alternate reality?"

"It would seem so." Allura observed. "I cannot say for sure just how, only that this _must_ be related to the comet."

"Comet?" Hira inquired, arching her brows. "You say it was a comet that brought you here?"

"I mean... sort of?" Pidge frowned, her gaze lingering for a moment on Akira. "If what Allura says is true, then this comet must have been what created the rift that we passed through."

He didn't exactly miss the faint way that both Hira and Menelaos' brows twitched at Pidge's casual manner of referring to Allura. He didn't dwell too much on it- from the sound of it, Allura was a legendary figure from their history, in addition to being royalty. It made sense that they might be a bit bothered by how casual Pidge was being.

Akira, on the other hand, didn't bat an eye- at least, not at the way she spoke about Allura. He seemed more surprised by Pidge, briefly blinking at the sound of her voice before masking his expression again. Even his resting face looked like Keith's.

Huh. Maybe he and Keith weren't the only ones with alternate versions of themselves.

"You said something about it being a _trans-reality_ comet, right?" Hunk asked. "What's up with that?"

Allura merely shook her head. "It is a long story. But Pidge is likely right. It is also likely the reason that Voltron was able to pass through the rift entirely unaffected."

He looked at Allura for a long moment, wondering just how much she wasn't telling them. Then again, they'd never exactly asked about Voltron's origins either- it had come as enough of a shock to learn that Zarkon had been the original black paladin.

"Voltron?" Menelaos inquired. "We noticed several strange mechanical lions outside the ship. Are they yours?"

A slight frown graced Allura's lips, before she slowly nodded. "Yes. The five lions of Voltron. My father was the one who built them. Do they not exist in this reality, then?"

"No." Hira told her. "We have nothing like them. Do you command them?"

"Voltron is not something you command." Allura told her. "We each fly one of five lions."

Akira tilted his head, arching a brow. "There's no pink lion."

Allura blinked, like she either hadn't expected him to speak, or hadn't expected the remark. "Pardon?"

"There's no pink lion." Akira repeated, a tight frown on his lips. "Everyone else has armor that matches the color of one of the lions. But yours is pink."

Hira narrowed her eyes. "You do not speak to-"

"No, it is quite alright." Allura cut her off. "You are correct. I currently fly the red lion, but I am merely only filling in for its true paladin. I am afraid he was lost to us, if only temporarily."

How she managed not to look at Akira when she said that, he didn't know. _He_ couldn't. Nor could any of the other paladins. Akira seemed to notice it, squinting in that same suspicious way that Keith would whenever he noticed something that didn't quite seem to fit.

It really was like the universe was taunting him.

Hira shot Akira a long look, before she turned back to face Allura. "I would have thought that you would have lead them yourself, Empress."

Allura simply shook her head, momentarily looking towards him. For that short time, he made out a mixture of pain and guilt in her eyes, all blended together with regret. They were all feelings he understood, feelings that he had felt himself on more than one occasion, just... there was something about the way they all blended together in her eyes didn't seem like they were on the same page.

Then she looked away, back at Hira. "Shiro is the one who leads Voltron. He was the one chosen by the black lion."

He could have sworn Hira glared at him, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. "I see. Perhaps we can be of some use to you, Empress. Menelaos, accompany Empress Allura's... _companions_ to the cargo hold. Perhaps we can find a way to return them home if we investigate this trans-reality comet."

"Akira," the half-Altean shifted on his feet, looking up towards the Commander, "-come with me. There is much I must speak to the Empress about. Perhaps you could learn a few things from her."

Allura frowned slightly at the comment- he got the feeling she didn't exactly like being referred to as _Empress_. "Pidge, Hunk, Lance, accompany Menelaos to the cargo hold. See what you can find out about this trans-reality comet."

"Shiro... would you mind coming with me?"

The question was calculated, meant to give away as little as possible while asking as much as possible. But he knew what she meant. They all did.

Did he mind sticking close to someone who looked so much like Keith? He didn't have an answer to that. He didn't have the answer to a lot of questions right now.

But the way Hira looked at them... it was almost like she _wanted_ to separate Allura from them. He hadn't exactly forgotten alternate Slav's warning to _run_ either. Somehow, he got the feeling that leaving Allura alone with _these_ Alteans wasn't a good idea. No matter how much one of them looked like Keith.

So he just smiled instead, burying his own feelings. "It won't be a problem."

* * *

She knew the layout of the Tel-Galax exploration shuttles well. She had boarded them many times with her father in the past. Commodore Trayling's had been the pride and joy of the fleet, much in the same way the Castle of Lions was the pride and joy of all Altea. He always kept it in impeccable shape.

To see it like this... it hurt. Yet another tragic reminder of what had been lost to Zarkon.

Though she supposed that perhaps this was not a loss she could blame wholly on Zarkon. She did not know when her father had sent Trayling to retrieve this comet, nor when he had even heard of it. It would seem that her father had some secrets he kept even from her.

She wished she could ask him about it. She felt a pang of regret over destroying her father's AI- not for the first time, and most certainly not the last.

"Is something the matter, Empress?" Hira inquired.

"It is just... I used to know this ship." Allura told her. "Long ago."

It wasn't the only reason she found herself so distracted, but it was among them. Her eyes briefly darted over towards Shiro, before looking towards Akira. He had yet to put his helmet back on, keeping it tucked underneath his arm, so she could make out the periodic glances he sent Shiro's way.

Perhaps he knew Sven, she thought. But the way he looked at him... it was not the same way she caught Hira periodically looking at him. _Regret_ , she thought.

She thought of their Keith, and it was with a sharp pang that it dawned on her that in spite of his Altean features, Akira still resembled Keith more than the _actual_ Keith did now. Half-Altean, Hira had said- much like their own was half-Galra.

It was a fact only she was aware of, and it sat like a stone in her stomach. Deep down, she knew why it troubled her, but she refused to acknowledge it, so desperate to have the chance to speak to fellow Alteans once more that she opted to ignore it.

She had lost so, so much.

"We picked up a distress signal from this ship." Shiro said suddenly. "That's what brought us here."

Hira frowned. "We picked up on no such thing. Some of our deep space probes sent us unusual readings, so our current Empress sent us to investigate."

"Perhaps the distress signal is only being broadcast into our reality?" Allura suggested.

"Maybe," Shiro frowned, "-but why would no one have picked up on it before now?"

Allura felt herself frown. He had a point. She had been in such a rush to get here, that she hadn't stopped to question it, but now that she was... well, things began to make less sense. If the distress signal had been going non-stop for ten thousand years, surely someone would have picked it up before them.

Perhaps they had. Perhaps they had all been destroyed by the quintessence rift, much like the probe was. But she had a difficult time picturing that everyone who came into contact with the distress signal would have simply thrown the whole of their ship into the rift.

It was Akira who spoke, startling them both. "You think it's a trap."

"One from our reality, maybe." Shiro told him, unable to completely keep every underlying note of strain out of his voice, though he certainly made a valiant effort. As she thought, interacting with Akira was not easy for him. Still, she was glad that he had chosen to come with her.

She didn't know why, she just... she thought it better that they not be completely separated from one another. An instinct, you could say.

It was that same instinct that kept her from mentioning Sven and Slav's presence onboard. The idea that Shiro, even an alternate version of him, could fight against peace sounded so absurd, she barely even wanted to consider it. But at the same time...

...she didn't exactly want to consider the alternative, either.

These were _Alteans_. Her people. She wanted- no, _needed_ \- to believe in them.

Akira just gave him a small frown in return. "Sounds bad."

"To think that Altea could have ever been wiped out by the _Galra_ ," Hira spat, and she couldn't help but feel herself flinch a little at the venom in her tone, "-I promise you, Empress, we will do everything we can to help."

Was that how she had sounded before they had allied themselves with the Blade of Marmora? It was... wholly unpleasant to hear, coming from someone else.

Again, her thoughts drifted back towards Keith. She had never made it much of a secret how much she had loathed the Galra. If he truly had chosen to join Lotor over them, then she could at least somewhat understand why. Glancing towards Shiro, she chewed on her lip, wishing that the timing of all of this had been a bit better, so that she might have had a chance to speak with him in regards to the matter.

It had been weighing her down these past two movements. Kolivan had kept his word, keeping the information a secret, but the longer she held it in, the heavier it got. She was still loathe to breech the topic with Shiro- or any of the paladins, for that matter- but at this point, it would almost be a relief to finally get it off of her chest.

But still, Allura tried to smile at the Altean commander. "Thank you for your kind offer, Hira."

"Menelaos should be able to successfully analyze this comet of yours." Hira remarked. "He is one of Altea's most brilliant scientific minds."

"Is he an alchemist, then?" Allura asked.

Hira's face almost seemed to fall- it was the closest thing she had seen to distress on it thus far. "Altean alchemy has become a lost art. For the past few centuries, the only one who has been able to use it is our Empress. It is only more recently that a small number of Alteans have been born with the aptitude, but there is no longer anyone left to teach them."

Behind them, Akira's expression hardened. She caught it. Hira didn't.

"Akira's mother was one of them." Hira informed them- which certainly explained his expression, at least somewhat. "But she disappeared while searching for Oriande."

Oriande? Allura blinked. Wasn't that simply a fairytale? Her father had once claimed to have been there, but she had always thought he was telling her stories.

But also... it was Akira's _mother_ who was Altean? That sounded suspiciously similar to their reality, where it was Keith's mother who was Galra.

And Keith's mother was a spy.

"Really?" Allura asked. "What was her name?"

"Lia." Hira replied- Allura didn't miss how similar it was to _Krolia_. "She was-"

"Look," Akira cut her off, his sharp tone again so keenly like Keith that it made her pause, "-shouldn't we just focus on getting them home? They probably have allies waiting for them."

Hira scowled, but if she desired to say anything back to him, she just held her tongue instead. "Is this true, Empress?"

"I- yes." Allura nodded, once again wishing that she would cease to call her _Empress_. She also wondered just what it was Hira had been about to say. Whatever it was, Akira clearly didn't want to talk about it. "We left behind the Castle of Lions. Coran was onboard, along with the mice. They must be quite worried about us."

And Kaltenecker too, she supposed. But _mice_ seemed to have given Hira enough pause. Out of the corner of her eye, she swore she saw Akira mouth the word.

Apparently though, Hira settled on a different question. "Did you say Coran? As in

Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe?"

Hearing Coran's full name from the Altean commander momentarily caused her to blink, but she slowly nodded. It made perfect sense that if there were alternate versions of herself and her father in this universe, as well as Zarkon- or _had_ been, she supposed, seeing as they were all long dead- then there should be one of Coran as well.

Allura inclined her head. "Do you know him?"

She momentarily wondered how it was that all of _their_ names were the same as their counterparts, while Shiro and Keith's differed- as well as Krolia's, apparently. Perhaps it was simply some kind of ripple effect, caused by past events playing out differently. She had no way of knowing.

It certainly would explain Sven's strange accent.

Hira shook her head. "He was killed soon after you put down the Galra Uprising, I'm afraid."

Oh. The notion stung. It was bad enough that her father had died in this reality too, but Coran as well? To lose them both... she must have been so distraught.

"I see." Allura said. "In our reality, my father placed the both of us in cryopods and sealed us away in the Castle of Lions. We only awoke ten thousand deca-phoebs later, when Shiro and the other paladins arrived at the Castle."

She didn't miss the way Shiro looked away at her words, as if he were purposefully attempting to avoid looking at Akira. It was not hard to guess what he was thinking.

"That explains how you were able to survive for so long." Hira observed.

"And why you're so _young_." Akira muttered underneath his breath, seeming to pointedly ignore the glare Hira sent his way.

For her part, the comment merely brought a melancholy smile to her lips. It would seem that in spite of being half-Altean as opposed to half-Galra, this alternate reality version of Keith was quite similar to the one she knew.

Or had known. There was no telling how much Keith might have changed since the Galra had captured him. Physically yes, that much she already knew, but...

...that he had joined Prince Lotor- she still found it unthinkable.

And yet, at the same time, she felt she could understand why. Or at the very least, she could begin to guess at his reasons- the only problem was that she always ended up with more than one set of reasons, some less appealing than the others. She had her own personal theory, one that she prayed was correct- but even if it were not, there were still a few other scenarios in which she was certain they could win Keith back to their side.

Unless he had truly betrayed them. And that was a thought that she refused to accept, if only for her own sake. She couldn't... she couldn't handle it if a second paladin turned on her. On all of them. The first had been bad enough, but a _second_?

She pushed aside the thought. Right now, she had to focus on getting back to her reality. Coran might very well be in danger.

And yet... part of her desired to stay longer. There was an Altea in this reality. She could go _home_.

And she missed it so very, very much.

* * *

 _"-have discovered something in this ship's hold that will ensure Altea's rule for millennia to come."_

Menelaos' words were still at the forefront of her mind even after they stepped out of the hold. It was weird- it wasn't even the most disturbing thing he had said. No, that had been trying to justify slavery by virtue of claiming that their slaves- or _non-cogs_ , as he'd called them- had no free will.

But it had been what set off alarm bells in her head.

"Okay," Lance began, "-so while we're on the subject of these Alteans being kind of... off, which holy crow, are they ever, can we _please_ talk about how apparently in this reality, Keith is _half-Altean_?"

"And possibly working with the bad guys?" Hunk said, shifting nervously on his feet. "I mean... I can't be the only one who thinks that, right?"

"No, you're right." Pidge said. "I think... I think in this reality, the Alteans _are_ the bad guys."

"I don't get it." Lance said. "Wasn't Allura the one who founded this whole empire? How could she be bad?"

"She might not be the Allura we know." Pidge said. "Or it might be that she did found the empire with good intentions, and it just got distorted over time. That's also a possibility."

Honestly, she didn't like the idea of Allura being evil either. Or _Keith_ , for that matter.

"I for one vote for finding alternate reality Shiro and finding out what's going on here." Hunk suggested, before pausing. "Also, does anyone else find it weird that apparently here, Keith and Shiro are on two different sides?"

"Yeah, and what's the deal with him being half-Altean?" Lance asked, folding his arms in front of him. "What, is it going to turn out that ours is half-Galra or something?"

Pidge bit down on her lip. Lance had probably just meant that as a joke, but there was something about how this reality was so opposite of theirs and yet somehow parallel that made it hard for her to take it as one. If Keith was half-Altean here, who was to say he _wasn't_ half-Galra in their reality? And if he really was working with the bad guys here...

 _"I'm sorry, Pidge, but the red lion is refusing to fight."_

 _"It's like they know all of our moves."_

 _"They asked about all the lions, but they seemed most interested in the red lion."_

A shiver ran down her spine. She did not like where her thoughts were headed. It sounded a lot like she was doubting Keith.

But then... did they even really know anything about him? She thought maybe they had- they had bonded together and formed Voltron, after all. She didn't think that there was a better way to get to know someone.

But that had also been eight- no, nine months ago now. That was over _half a year_. Maybe things had changed. Maybe-

"Uh, Pidge?" Hunk frowned. "Everything... everything okay?"

"Fine, just-" she began, before stopping herself, "-just trying to work out a plan. We can't let these Alteans get their hands on that comet."

Maybe now _wasn't_ the best time to be casting doubts on their chronically missing team member. Besides, Shiro had known Keith ever since he was a kid, right? Wouldn't he know if there was something weird about him?

"So what should we do?" Lance asked. "Should we go regroup with Shiro and Allura, or should we try to find our fearless leader but with a Scandinavian accent?"

"If you ask me," a voice said from above, "-he's the one with the accent."

Pidge nearly jumped out of her skin as the vent grate clattered to the ground in front of them. Looking up, she spotted Sven and Slav, the former of whom was waving at them with the world's most casual _yoo-hoo_.

(Scandinavian Shiro was _way_ weirder than half-Altean Keith, she decided.)

"Sven!" Lance said, before his expression dropped. "And Slav too, I guess. How did you guys find us?"

"Well, I-"

"Nope, you know what?" Lance cut Slav off. "Nevermind."

"You were trying to tell us something before you ran off, weren't you?" Pidge asked. "I think I'm starting to put it together."

"Are these Alteans, like _... evil_?" Hunk asked, poking his fingers together. "Cause they seem kind of evil."

"Oh, they're definitely that." Sven readily agreed. "What gave it away?"

"The hoktril." Pidge said bluntly.

"See?" Slav said. "I told you there was a high probability they would realize something was wrong."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Slav." Sven told him. "Where is the Altean? And the other me? What was his name... _Shiro_?"

Sven's nose crinkled as he said it. In spite of the situation, she couldn't help but take a bit of amusement from that. Guess Shiro being Japanese was just as weird for him.

"They went to the bridge with Commander Hira and Kei- _Akira_." Lance quickly corrected himself. "I meant Akira."

She didn't think Sven even noticed that mistake. The moment he heard the name _Akira_ , his entire expression changed. She felt a shudder run down the length of her spine- she had _never_ seen Shiro look that angry before, and even if she knew that this wasn't, technically, the Shiro she knew, she couldn't help but briefly superimpose his image over Sven's face.

"He's here?" Sven asked, his voice suddenly cold. "Akira's here?"

"Sven-" Slav cautioned.

"Wait," Lance cut him off, "-you two know each other?"

"Oh, I know him alright _._ " Sven said, gritting his teeth. "He betrayed us."

For a long few seconds, his words didn't sink in. Keith? Betray Shiro? That didn't sound right. They had all seen the desperate way that Shiro had searched for Keith after he went missing. They didn't have to ask to know just how deep their connection ran.

Only he wasn't Keith, and this wasn't Shiro. This wasn't their reality. These weren't the people she knew. But still...

"How?" Pidge asked. "How did he betray you?"

"He-" Sven began, before glaring at the door of the cargo hold. She glanced back towards it, relieved to find that it was still firmly shut- she had almost forgotten about Menelaos and his non-cog 'assistant'. "We should not talk much longer here. Which one of you is the smartest?"

Shaking off the shock of the revelation that this reality's Keith was somehow a _traitor_ , everyone pointed at her. "That would be me."

"Good. You come with us. There's still something we need to do, and you can help." Sven instructed, reaching down a hand. "Hurry, before the Alteans notice."

"What about us?" Hunk asked.

"You two stay behind and cover for your friend." Slav said. "Don't worry. I'm seventy-six percent positive that this is one of the realities where that works."

"If I go with you, will you tell me about Akira?" Pidge asked. She didn't know why it bothered her, but she felt like she needed to know more. Her head was a mess right now, so maybe getting the full story from Sven might help clear things up.

Sven narrowed his eyes for a moment, before releasing a curt sigh. "Yes. Now come on."

"We'll cover for you Pidge, don't worry." Lance told her.

Pidge frowned, glancing up at Sven's hand. Part of her wanted to help them, but part of her was almost hesitant to go with them. Sure, these Alteans were definitely the bad guys, but...

"You're sure this plan of yours won't hurt my friends?" Pidge asked. " _Including_ the princess?"

"Yes." Sven promised- and maybe it was just because he was Shiro's alternate reality counterpart, but she found herself believing him. "No harm will come to your friends, including the Altean. We promise."

Chewing on her lip for a second longer, Pidge nodded. Grabbing Sven's hand, he hauled her up into the air duct, Hunk wordlessly passing the grate back up to Slav. "You two see if you can get to the princess and Shiro. They need to know about _these_ Alteans."

"Got it." Hunk told her. "Good luck."

"Oh good!" Slav said. "That increases our chances of success in this reality by point zero two percent! Now, if it had been your _blue_ friend who had wished us good luck that would have decreased our chances by-"

Sven merely rolled his eyes, long suffering exasperation in his tone. "Ugh. Just give me that grate cover."

Guess some things never changed.

* * *

"Is there something on my face?"

Somehow, Shiro managed to keep himself from reacting. It wasn't the first time Akira had spoken, but he just couldn't get used to it. The Altean features might have kept him from looking exactly like Keith, but they didn't stop him from sounding exactly like him. He almost wished he had an accent too.

"Like I said," Shiro told him, "-you just look kind of like someone I know."

It didn't help that he had his arms tightly crossed in front of him, every inch the kind of posture that he was familiar with from Keith. It just managed to bring how much he missed him into sharp relief- not to mention how worried he was about him. It had been eight- no, he'd been the cryopod for nearly a month, so all told, it had been about _nine_ months since he'd seen him last, at the transportation hub. That was a long time to go without any word.

He let himself dwell again on what it was Allura had wanted to tell him. He wished he could find the chance to ask, but they had more pressing concerns to deal with at the moment.

Akira just narrowed his eyes. "What are they like?"

When he didn't give him an answer, just blinked at him in confusion, Akira grumbled. "I mean- the person who looks like me. What are they like?"

Oh. Right. If he had to be honest, he found himself a bit curious about Sven too. Maybe Akira suspected that this other person was his own alternate reality counterpart.

Of course, that theory fell apart if he and Sven didn't know each other. Again, he was sharply reminded of the fact that the two were apparently on different sides- and honestly, the more he heard Hira talk, the more he thought that Sven was on the right side of this conflict.

Allura had referred to it as the _Altean peace movement_ , but he had his own suspicions. Something about the usage of the word _rehabilitated_ set off huge red flags for him. Rehabilitated _how_?

And yet... Allura seemed so happy, being able to speak to another Altean- and Hira hadn't given him any _clear_ reasons to doubt her just yet. He didn't want to rush to any conclusions. Maybe there was still a chance that his instincts might be wrong.

They weren't usually, but... well, he'd give it a little longer.

Dimly, he realized Akira was still waiting for an answer. He mulled over his question, wondering how much he should tell him. Talking about Keith was still painful- but talking about him to someone who was so much like him?

If he weren't half-Altean, Akira would be a dead ringer for Keith.

(Why _was_ he half-Altean? He kept turning the question over in his head.)

"Stubborn," Shiro said after a moment, "-and wilful. Kind of a handful, to be frank. Stole my car the first time we met."

He watched as Akira's brows seemingly vanished into his hair. "Oh. Sounds like someone I know too."

Shiro had to bite down on his lip to keep himself from blurting anything out. Okay, so he'd take that as confirmation that Sven and Akira had met. Which was... troubling, but at the same time- was Keith stealing his car some kind of a universal constant? Did it just happen in every reality?

For the first time in his life, Shiro actually felt tempted to ask Slav something.

"He's a good kid, though." Shiro said. "The best, actually. But I..."

He cut himself off, staring down at the floor. He couldn't finish that sentence. Not to this strange not-Keith who was so much like him. Not to a Keith who might be the enemy.

Couldn't confess to someone who looked so much like him- _too_ much like him, really- that he'd failed him. That he was someone who was like a brother to him, like family, but he hadn't even been able to keep him safe.

"Did something-"

"Akira!"

Akira shut his mouth, turning towards Hira. Shiro watched as his gaze hardened before the addressed the Altean commander. "Do you need something, Commander?"

"The Empress has agreed to remove the ship from the tear." Hira informed him- _them_ , really. He'd been so absorbed in his conversation with Akira, that he had completely forgotten about the princess. "Perhaps you might learn something from her."

There were two lines of questioning he wanted to engage in, but he'd go with the more urgent one. "Wha- Allura, are you sure about this?"

"Commander Hira has invited us all to go back to Altea with her." Allura told him. "I never thought... after the ordeal with my father's AI, I gave up any hope that it would ever be possible. And now it is."

Shiro narrowed his eyes. "I'm not sure if this is such a good idea, princess. This might not be the same Altea you remember."

Hadn't Hira's goal been to get them home? How had that changed? If she just wanted to bring them to Altea, couldn't they just use the lions? It wasn't necessary to move the whole ship, was it?

Unless... what Hira wanted wasn't something as innocent as taking the homesick princess back to Altea. No. What she wanted was that comet.

"No," Hira said, "- _our_ Altea was able to fend of Zarkon's threats, without the need for outside help."

 _Outside help_? She had to be referring to the fact that he and the rest of the paladins were human, right? She made it sound like that was a _bad_ thing.

It wasn't the first time he had noticed it either. There had been a certain level of disdain in her voice when she had mentioned that Akira was half-Altean, and that he had been raised off planet. He couldn't help but recall the way the Galra had spat on those who were of mixed blood, and instantly decided he didn't like the comparison.

"I thought we were trying to get them home quickly." Akira stated.

"Objectives have changed." Hira stated. "The comet in this ship's hold possesses the ability to travel between realities. If we use it, we can bring our full might to their reality, and use it to help them combat the Galra Empire. We might even be able to bring the Galra the peace that we never could in our reality."

And that sounded like a huge red flag to him. "Allura, I don't think-"

"Please, Shiro." Allura almost seemed to beg. "These are my people. They may even become our strongest allies."

"I assure you, Empress," Hira stated, "-we will do everything in our power to help."

"I'm sorry, Shiro." Allura told him, and in that instant, he knew she had already made up her mind. "But I must do this."

Clenching his jaw, all Shiro could do was watch as she activated the ship. Slowly but surely, it moved forward, inching out of the rift until it lay fully within the confines of _this_ reality.

He swore he saw Hira smirk.

* * *

"They're not coming out, huh..."

Tail twitching behind him, Keith ignored the way Kova batted at it. He had gotten tired of standing, and had taken to siting crosslegged on the observation deck floor. As if mimicking him, Narti had sat down next to him, bending her legs at the knees so that she sat on them. _Seiza_ , he'd idly thought.

That had been nearly an hour ago. Voltron had been in the other reality for nearly two hours now- at least, on their end, they had been. Maybe time moved faster in the other reality. Maybe it moved slower. He didn't know. He wasn't there.

He was stuck here, waiting for them.

He had been prepared to do just that, but he hadn't realized how long it would take. Long enough for anxiety to settle in, as he began to wonder if they were even going to come back.

Narti awkwardly patted his knee. He arched a brow, looking down at her hand, wondering if that gesture meant the same thing to the Galra as it did to humans.

Whatever. He'd take it.

Heaving a sigh, Keith turned his gaze towards the portal. Maybe he should read that manual on proper fur care Zethrid had forced him to download.

Narti's grip on his knee suddenly tightened. It wasn't painful- just urgent. He blinked, looking towards her in confusion, only to find that she was 'looking' at the rift. Even Kova had stopped messing with his tail, and was staring straight out the window, his fur raised like he was about to hiss.

So he looked.

He watched as the ship disappeared, and took the rift with it. Just like that, gone.

He leapt to his feet, pressing his hands against the window, staring out it in horror. It had just- no. No, this couldn't be happening. Turning on his heel, he stared down at Narti, a hard set to his gaze.

"Where's Lotor?"


	19. betrayal

So I did honestly think this arc would wrap up in this chapter but... no, turns out that's not happening. I do think that (for real this time!) it should end next chapter. I just didn't want to end up rushing things or having like, one ten thousand word chapter. Just because the Altean Empire has been ruling for ten thousand years, doesn't mean their chapter have to be that long! Anyways, that said, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy this latest update!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter nineteen**

 **betrayal**

* * *

Pidge crept behind Slav and Sven, the awkward, heavy silence only broken by the scuffing of their boots against the ventilation shaft. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute- how couldn't they, after a bombshell like that?

Keith was a _traitor_. Or at least, his alternate reality counterpart was.

Finally, after what felt like forever, they came to the end of the ventilation shaft. After Sven checked to make sure the area they were coming out in was free of Altean presence, he knocked out the grate, leading them outside. She followed behind them, trying to figure out just where they had lead her- at first glance, it appeared to be some kind of computer hub.

"What is this place?" Pidge asked.

"According to my schematics, we should be in the main hub of this vessel!" Slav supplied.

Main hub. Guess her first impressions were spot on.

"So?" Pidge asked. "You said you needed me for something."

Unless that was just an excuse to get her away from the others. Pidge narrowed her eyes, quickly assessing the situation. She didn't think Sven and Slav were lying- not when the facts spoke for themselves, but she couldn't deny the possibility that maybe they had still somehow gotten this all wrong.

She just didn't think so.

Because if buying the idea that even an alternate reality version of Keith could betray them, then the idea of an alternate reality _Shiro_ doing the same thing? She couldn't even picture that. Last she checked, there was nothing about Scandinavian accents that turned a person evil.

But building brain-scrambling hoktrils? _That_ was evil.

"Yes!" Slav chirped. "We need your help to take down this ship's weapon systems. I'm familiar enough with the overall design to know what important parts need bombs planted on them, but I'm afraid this ship is so old that I'm not quite certain which parts do what. You, on the other hand..."

"-came here with a ten thousand year old Altean princess?" Pidge finished.

"Now you're starting to get it!" Slav said.

Pidge just sighed. That made sense. And she had to admit, she didn't exactly want to see _these_ Alteans get their hands on the comet. She couldn't even _imagine_ what they could do with it. If they gained the ability to travel between realities...

Actually, scratch that. She could. That was the problem.

"So... disable their weapons systems. Got it." Pidge said. "Anything else you need me to do while I'm in here?"

"You should probably scramble their communications while you're at it." Sven said, his tone brusque. "We can't have them calling for backup."

"And their thrusters!" Slav added.

"Geez, talk about your heavy workload." Pidge mumbled, even as she set to work. First things first, scramble those communications. Sven was right about one thing- they didn't exactly want to have more Altean ships show up. She didn't know if they could get the comet back to their reality and defend themselves at the same time.

Still... glancing back towards him, she frowned. He'd been on edge ever since they had mentioned Akira's name. Whatever their relationship was, it was obvious that he had taken his betrayal personally.

"So... about Akira." Pidge began. "You said he betrayed you. Does that mean he was originally part of your group?"

Sven's eyes narrowed, a sour expression forming on his face. "That was a long time ago."

"Actually it was only about three phoebs ago, so not very long at all!" Slav supplied.

Pidge frowned. Three phoebs was three months, right? Give or take a few days to account for time dilatation, that was way less time than Keith had been missing for. Which wasn't to say that actually meant anything- there was no telling if they had come out into this alternate reality on the exact same day it was in _their_ reality.

"Why do you want to know anyways?" Sven asked. "This isn't your problem."

"Well, right now it's kind of my problem." Pidge said. "And... he kind of reminds me of someone. Someone from _my_ reality."

Something in Sven's expression softened at that. For a second, she swore she almost saw regret in his eyes, before he shut them. When he opened them next, it was gone, leaving her to wonder if she had just imagined it. "I don't think we ever got your name."

"Pidge. The name's Pidge." She told him. "The two guys with me were Lance and Hunk. We're cadets at the Galaxy Garrison on Earth- or at least, we used to be."

"Galaxy Garrison?" Sven asked, arching his brows. "In our reality, it's called the _Galactic_ Garrison."

"What I want to know is why it's called the Galaxy _anything_ when in eighty three point five percent of realties, you humans haven't even left your own system yet." Slav chimed in. "Doesn't it seem a bit presumptuous?"

Pidge just shrugged. "We're a species of forward thinkers."

Sven snorted. "That's one way of putting it. So? How did a cadet get so far out in space? Did the Galra invade your planet too?"

Pidge cringed. "Is that what happened with the Alteans?"

"Oh, I imagine it's probably a different kind of invasion than whatever you're thinking of." Sven said. "But they did. They made contact with our people three years ago."

Pidge frowned. He might have said that it was different from what she was picturing, but what she was picturing was something a lot more silent and subtle than any Galra invasion. Somehow that just made it even _more_ terrifying.

"Well, the Galra didn't invade Earth." Pidge told them. "But they did come after the blue lion, that was hidden there. That's how we all ended up in space."

She didn't mention that it was _Keith_ who had lead them all there. Something made her hesitant to even say the name in front of him, even though there was no way he would even know who that was.

"And with the Altean?" Sven asked, distaste clear in his voice.

Pidge narrowed her eyes. "Look, I know what you must think, but _our_ Allura isn't like that. She would _never_ agree to something like the hoktril."

Sven looked doubtful, but at least he didn't argue with her. "If you say so. All I know is that nothing good comes from trusting Alteans."

"Including Akira?" Pidge asked.

Sven tensed almost immediately at her question, before almost seeming to deflate, his shoulders slumping. "I didn't know he was Altean."

Pidge just frowned. "How could you _not_ know? He's got pointed ears and everything."

"He didn't use to look that way." Sven muttered. "It was only _after_ the Alteans captured him that he-"

He stopped himself short, and she was almost glad he did. Because Akira getting captured? That sounded _way_ too much like what had happened in their reality for her to be comfortable with.

Suddenly, all she could think about was Lotor's new general. The one who had been so interested in the red lion. The one Lance and Hunk had met inside the Weblum.

 _He didn't use to look that way._

She swallowed, trying to play it cool. Somehow she hadn't managed to stop typing, which was probably the only reason they didn't notice her mistake. "How do you- how do you know it's not some kind of Altean trick? I mean, you've seen what they can do with the hoktril, so how do you know-"

"It's not." Sven cut her off. "That's Akira. I know."

She felt her heart sink. She didn't know if it was because Sven sounded so bitter, or if because she couldn't stop the direction her thoughts were going in. She didn't want to think that Keith could have turned on them, but...

Opposite, yet parallel.

"So... what?" Pidge asked. "You're saying he just decided to join the Alteans instead?"

Sven only shrugged, but it looked a lot more like he was trying to _act_ casual about it, than he was actually casual about it. "He decided to side with his own people."

"I don't get it." Pidge said. "I thought you said the Alteans came to Earth three years ago? Akira's definitely older than that."

"Only his mother was Altean." Sven said. "His father was human. Unless he lied about _that_ too."

Human father, Altean mother. What did she know about Keith's family? Dimly, it occurred to her that she knew _nothing_ about him. Not about his family, not about his life before he joined the Garrison, nothing. She didn't even know the full details of how he was connected to Shiro- just that he was, and strongly, to the point where he had been allowed to come the Kerberos launch with Shiro.

They were supposed to be the arms of Voltron. How could she just know _nothing_ about him?

Before she got a chance to ask anything further, a warning flashed onscreen. For a second, she was afraid that someone had noticed her activity, but the translation her helmet provided her with quickly disproved that. That said...

"Uh, Sven?" Pidge said, glancing over her shoulder. "Is this ship _supposed_ to move?"

* * *

"Lotor!"

"Ah, Keith." Lotor barely even so much as looked up. "Is something the matter?"

Keith's tail twitched behind him, the tip of it striking the floor in irritation. How could he even ask that? Surely he could see the problem with his own eyes!

"In case you haven't noticed," Keith hissed, "-the rift's gone. So's the ship."

Again, Lotor barely even spared a glance towards the direction of the rift- or where it _would_ have been, had it not vanished. "So it is."

Keith felt a low growl tear itself from his throat. "That's all you have to say?"

"We knew it was a risk when we set out." Lotor simply stated, finally staring directly at him. He nearly wished he hadn't. "We _all_ knew."

He grew stiff at that, even his tail freezing in place. He wished he hadn't phrased it that way- like he had any choice in this situation but to do what Lotor asked him to. But it still didn't change the fact that he had known the entire plan- including the risks- and had done nothing about it.

Then just as quickly as that thought came, he shook it off- or tried too. No. This _wasn't_ his fault. Lotor was just trying to get to him by exploiting what he saw as a weak point. He wouldn't let him.

Taking a calming breath, Keith glowered at Lotor. "I thought you needed that comet."

"It's true. Losing the comet would be a rather large setback in my plans." Lotor freely admitted. "But where there is one, there are always others. At least without Voltron in our reality, there will be nothing for my father to steal, should he recover."

Keith narrowed his eyes. Again, he made it all sound so simple- like losing Voltron wasn't a big deal. And maybe to Lotor it wasn't, but to him?

They were his _friends_. At least, some part of him still thought of them as being his friends. He didn't know if _they_ would agree with that sentiment given his current status as an enemy general, but the fact remained that he didn't want to see anything bad happen to them. That was why he had chosen to take on this role in the first place.

"Are you sure they really made it?" Keith asked. "To this... this _alternate reality_."

"Quite certain." Lotor said. "My father and the paladins of old managed to enter the quintessence rift in the past. It stands to reason that the current paladins are able to do the same. And since it was an _Altean_ ship that was stuck in the rift..."

Lotor didn't finish his sentence, but he didn't need to. He got it. If it was an Altean ship, it would need an Altean to move it.

 _Allura_ had done this.

He didn't know what to think of that. Maybe... maybe there was a good reason for it. He was sure there had to be. Allura didn't seem like the type to make rash decisions like that, at least not when she was in her own mind. The only time she had was when she had still been weak from the Balmera rejuvenation ceremony, and even _that_ was only because her father's corrupted AI had exploited her own weakness, messing with her mind.

"Fine." Keith said finally, crossing his arms. "But if they don't come back-"

"You'll what?" Lotor asked, fixing his gaze on him.

Keith's mouth hung open for a second, before he snapped it shut. He didn't actually have anything to back that up with. He'd what? Leave Lotor? If Voltron really had disappeared into another reality, then this one needed him _here_ , now more than ever. The rebels had been gaining ground, but Lotor's invasion of Puig had shown just how vulnerable it all really was.

And he'd had a part in that.

"They'd _better_ come back." He said finally, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. He could feel Lotor's gaze on him the entire time.

Maybe some time in the training room would help cool his head.

* * *

He didn't like this situation, at all.

Watching the Altean commander with narrowed eyes, Shiro couldn't shake the feeling that everything was going according to her plans. The smirk was gone now, but he knew what he saw.

Either way, the rift was gone- and with it, their only way to get home.

"Excellent," Hira stated, "-now that the ship is freed, we can begin our journey back to Altea. I am certain that our current Empress would love to meet you, Empress Allura."

"Please," Allura said meekly, her gaze darting in his direction, before very quickly darting back, "-just _Princess_ Allura is quite alright. I am hardly an Empress."

"That may be so in your reality, but in our reality, you will always be our Empress." Hira said, before turning on her heel. "Akira, find Empress Allura's companions and bring them here."

Akira frowned. "And Menelaos?"

"If he's done with his work, yes." Hira said. "Be sure to take a few of the gladiators with you. There is a chance that the Guns of Gamara," and her gaze darted towards him as she said that, "-may have caught wind of our discovery. We can't afford to have those _rebels_ stealing the comet from us."

The Guns of Gamara. He didn't have to guess to know that she meant Slav and Sven. He wondered if she knew if they were already on the ship or not.

Akira bowed, the motion stiff. "Yes ma'am."

Without another word, the half-Altean stalked off. Several of the gladiator robots that had accompanied them to the bridge broke off to follow him. He wished he knew just how many were on the ship- the longer they stayed here, the more apparent it was to him that these Alteans were on the wrong side of history.

 _Rebels_ , Hira had said. Even Allura, enamored by the idea of returning home after so long, didn't fail to notice that.

"What did you mean by _rebels_?" Allura inquired, sounding slightly hesitant. "Surely there cannot be those who are against the Altean peace movement, can there?"

"I am afraid so, Empress." Hira told her. "There are those who wish to take what we have built, and return it to a universe of chaos and destruction. Their numbers are few, but they have proven to be a problem several times in the past already. I shudder to think what they might be able to do with the comet if they were to get their hands on it."

Shiro couldn't help but narrow his eyes at that. Somehow he couldn't picture his own alternate reality self striving to bring chaos and discord.

But he also couldn't picture Keith- _any_ version of Keith- willing to actively work for the bad guys. But if these Alteans were what the Galra were to their reality, then he was doing exactly that.

He didn't understand- any of it. How was Keith- _Akira_ , he reminded himself- half-Altean in this reality? Why was he working for the Altean Empire? Hira had called him her lieutenant, which had to mean he had some standing. And what exactly was it that Hira had been about to say about his mother, that he hadn't wanted them to hear?

He hadn't exactly missed the implication that he possessed the ability- or at least the potential- to perform Altean alchemy either. He didn't know if Allura had or not, but he definitely had.

Allura frowned, her gaze only briefly flickering in his direction. He didn't need to ask to know that she had some of the same doubts, just that she probably wasn't listening to them. He wasn't even sure he could blame her- for so long, she had thought that she was the last of her kind, so now to suddenly find a reality where there were thousands of Alteans, if not _millions_...

"And they call themselves the Guns of Gamara?" Allura inquired.

She was digging for more information, he realized.

"That they do." Hira nodded. "They prey on planets that we have not yet reached, feeding lies to their populace to grow their numbers. We do what we can, but at times reeducation can prove... difficult. We were lucky to reach Akira when we did."

A look of shock crossed Allura's face, mirroring that of his own. "Do you mean that he used to be part of the Guns of Gamara?"

"Once." Hira said. "He was unaware of his own heritage. Had we not rescued him when he did, they surely would have killed him when it was found out."

Something twisted in Shiro's gut at that statement- some missing piece of the puzzle. Hira made it sound like Akira hadn't even been aware that he was Altean- a lone half-alien on a planet that otherwise had no real contact with extraterrestrial life.

The thought sat like a stone in the pit of his stomach.

All he could think about was going over Keith's medical records with Adam, trying to learn the ins and outs of his medical history. At the Garrison, he had effectively been Keith's guardian- since his foster family at the time had wanted nothing more to do with him, coveted scholarship to the Garrison or not. That gave him access to all kinds of records, some of which he wished he'd never read, and others which had helped him navigate difficult situations where he otherwise would have stumbled.

His medical history read like someone's bad imitation of a human.

He shook the thought off. This was _Keith_ he was thinking about here, not Akira. Raised on Earth, _human_ Keith. _Yes_ , his medical history was a little odd in places, but that didn't mean anything. He didn't know why he was suddenly thinking about all this now.

"You said you rescued him." Shiro said, the words slipping out.

Hira looked towards him, suspicion in her gaze. "We saved him from those who would poison him with lies about his own heritage. With us, he has been able to learn the _true_ glory of the Altean Empire."

"I think," Allura began, her voice a bit too quiet, "-I think that perhaps we should find our companions."

Hira turned towards her, watching her with an almost hawk-like gaze. "There is no need, Empress. Akira will bring them here."

Allura hesitated, her gaze flicking towards him yet again. This time he held it, just long enough to watch the princess face the crushing realization that something was wrong here. It dawned on him that she had probably been fighting it the entire time, and it pained him to watch.

These were her people. It was only natural that she wanted to believe in them.

"But if the Guns of Gamara are really on this ship," Allura began, her voice a bit stronger, "-are they not in danger? Surely Akira might struggle to fight those he once worked alongside."

"I can assure you, Empress," Hira coolly smiled, causing a shudder to run up the length of his spine, "-that will not be a problem."

* * *

"So... are you sure we should have let Pidge go with those guys?"

Lance just frowned. "I don't know. But what choice do we have? I mean, you saw that _hoktril_ thingy. These Alteans are serious bad news."

That, Hunk could not deny. He wouldn't even try to.

He knew he'd been picking up some serious bad vibes from these guys, but the hoktril? Well, that had just sealed the deal.

"Why couldn't we have come to a _nice_ alternate reality?" Hunk asked. "We could be in a reality where everything is peaceful, but _no_. We had to get crazy brainwashing Alteans."

"Do you think we'll even be able to convince Allura?" Lance asked. "I mean... you saw how determined she was to come here, and that was just when she thought there might be Altean survivors on this ship. Now there's a whole reality full of them."

"I don't know." Hunk admitted. He wanted to say _yes_ , but at the same time... if he were in Allura's shoes, he'd be having a pretty tough time of it too. He couldn't even imagine what being the last of his kind was like, and he kind of hoped he never had to.

"Somehow I don't think she'll be too wild about the whole hoktril business, though." Hunk added. "Which is exactly why we need to find her, so we can get the comet and get out of here."

"Right." Lance nodded. "So... which way was the bridge again?"

Hunk frowned. "I don't know. All the tech is the same, but the layout is totally different compared to the Castle. I _knew_ I should have downloaded some schematics before we left. There have to be some in the Castle's archives."

"So why didn't you?" Lance asked.

Hunk just shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought we'd hit the energy vortex and like, explode."

"Hm," Lance frowned, "-yeah, okay, that's fair."

"Are you sure we should have left without saying anything to Menelaos though?" Hunk asked, glancing nervously over his shoulder. "What if they think we're up to something?"

"Pssh, we'll be fine." Lance rolled his eyes. "They don't even know Sven and Slav are on the ship. They probably just think we're wandering around. Or lost."

"Well... they'd be right about that last part." Hunk said. "Cause we are. Lost, I mean."

"Eh, this ship isn't that big. We're bound to find-" Lance cut himself off mid-sentence, his eyes narrowing. "Ssh. Did you hear that?"

Instantly, Hunk came to a halt. It was hard to hear anything over the nervous pounding of his own heart, but after a second, he did pick up on something that sounded like footsteps- and a lot of them. Exchanging a glance with Lance, the blue paladin nodded his head, slowly creeping ahead to peek around the corner-

-only to come face to face with Keith.

Or well, not Keith. _Akira_.

Half-Altean, working for the bad guys, Akira.

"Oh hey!" Lance recovered with almost astonishing speed. "Just the person we were looking for!"

"Uh," Hunk frowned, glancing down at Lance, "-we were? I mean, we are?"

Lance elbowed him in the side, plastering a big smile on his face. "Yeah! I mean, not looking for _you_ exactly," and Hunk had to admit, the straight face that Akira kept through all of this was just as impressive as it was nerve-racking, "-but just, you know, someone."

"We're lost." Hunk admitted. "We were trying to get to the bridge."

Akira finally blinked, his gaze falling at what would roughly be Pidge's eye level, were she here. "Where's C- the green one?"

Huh. Kind of sounded like he was about to say something else. He wondered if there was an alternate reality version of Pidge, too. One that Akira knew?

(God he hoped she wasn't an evil Altean too. He didn't know if he could stomach the idea of an evil Pidge.)

"She said something about wanting to explore the rest of the ship." Lance shrugged. "Wandered off before we could stop her. Why? There something wrong?"

Akira narrowed his eyes, turning them back towards the two of them. The pointed ears and Altean markings were one thing, but he just couldn't get used to the fact that Altean Keith's eyes were _gray_. Like. _Solid_ gray, not that weird blue-gray color that sometimes just flat out looked purple. Even the red irises weren't that distracting compared to the color change.

"I was given orders to escort you back to the bridge." Akira said. "All three of you."

Exchanging a nervous glance with Lance, Hunk felt sweat prickle at the back of his neck. They couldn't exactly let him find Pidge, not right now.

"Well, you found us!" Lance said, puffing out his chest. "So how about you escort us to the bridge, and then you can go look for our little Pidge?"

Tilting his head, Akira studied the pair of them. His eyes might have changed color, but the intensity in them definitely hadn't. It'd be hard to deal with even if he _didn't_ resemble Keith.

Which he did. A lot. The Altean features did a lousy job of masking that.

"You're buying time, aren't you?"

Hunk flinched. He couldn't help it- because that was exactly what they were trying to do.

"Oh come on." Lance said, rolling his eyes, still somehow keeping up the act. "What would we be buying time for?"

"Yeah, it's not like we've got anything to hide." Hunk chuckled.

For a second, all Akira did was stare at them. Hunk's heart pounded in his chest, for a moment letting himself hope that he had bought it, like Slav said he would-

-and then he lifted a hand, and in the blink of an eye, the gladiators that he had brought with him had restrained them. The entire time, Hunk couldn't tear his eyes away from Akira, Sven's words from earlier on repeat in his head- that he was a traitor.

Guess he really _was_ working for the Alteans.

"Hey, what's the deal!" Lance shouted, struggling against his restraints. "I thought we were-!"

 _Friends_ died in Lance's mouth, as he snapped back to _this_ reality, and remembered that this was the first time they'd ever met Akira. He wasn't Keith- and as far as Hunk was concerned, he was making that damn well clear right now.

Even as he crossed his arms in front of them, watching them with a hawkish gaze that was all Keith. "The Guns of Gamara are on this ship, aren't they?"

"We have no idea what you're talking about." Lance told him. "So why don't you just let us go already, and we'll pretend like this never happened?"

"Not a chance." Akira said, turning to look at one of the gladiators. "Escort them back to the bridge and inform Commander Hira of what's going on. I'll find this _Pidge_ and the Guns."

Hunk knew what they should do. He knew they should keep up the act, keep denying. At the very least, they could drag this encounter out long enough for Pidge and the Guns to do whatever it was that they were doing. Maybe it would be enough for them to get away, to get the comet back to their reality. He didn't know. But at least it would be _something_.

But before he could say anything, Lance blurted out something out first.

"Don't you hurt her!"

And Keith- _Akira_ \- flinched. For a split second, something washed across his features, some bitter, resigned expression, but it's gone so fast that Hunk thought he nearly imagined it. What takes it's place is cold determination, an expression he was all too familiar with from their Keith.

It had just never been directed towards _them_.

"So they _are_ here." Akira said.

Lance snapped his eyes shut, eyes blowing wide as if he'd realized his mistake. "I didn't-"

"You didn't mean to." Akira said. "But you did. Take them."

Hunk ground in his heels, trying to fight the drag of the gladiators. And he thought these guys were bad when he just had to deal with them on the training deck. "Wait!"

Akira halted, turning on his heel to peer curiously behind him. "What?"

"You," Hunk swallowed, half uncertain why he'd even bothered to stop him, "-you worked with them once, didn't you? With the Guns. With _Sven_."

At the mention of Sven's name, something flashed through Akira's eyes, too fast for him to make it out. What he didn't miss was the way his grip tightened on the hilt of his sword. "So?"

"So- so why are you working for these guys?" Hunk asked. If they'd already been caught, what use was there for pretense?

"I'm Altean." Akira said flatly. "Why wouldn't I fight for my own people?"

"But-!"

Hunk didn't get a chance to ask anything else. Akira turned on his heel, so sharply that his braid sliced through the air behind him. He watched him go, helpless to do anything to stop him.

It felt a lot, Hunk thought, like he was being betrayed by Keith.

* * *

Allura shifted anxiously on her feet, her gaze flicking back towards the door every few ticks. It had now been nearly half a varga since Akira had left to track down her fellow paladins, and with each passing dobosh, she sensed Hira growing more displeased- and herself more anxious.

Looking over towards Shiro, she didn't hold his gaze long. Instead, she fixed it on the floor, contemplating both her feet and her earlier mistake.

In hindsight, it had been such an obviously bad idea. Without the rift, she did not know if there was a way for them to even get home. She had effectively stranded them all in this reality, leaving Coran to who knew what fate on the other side of the rift.

There was an Altea here, yes, and though she had let that tempt her, she was slowly starting to realize that perhaps... perhaps this Altea was a far different one than the one she had lost. And not just the Altea of this reality- but also the Alteans.

Now not only had she likely trapped them all here, but she had also put them all in danger. She could only pray that her word as this _Empress_ still held some clout.

It felt like ages before the doors opened again, but she nearly wished they hadn't. As Lance and Hunk were dragged inside by the gladiators, she felt her heart sink. Lance looked angry, and Hunk... Hunk just looked _shaken_.

Akira had been sent to retrieve them. _Akira_ had done this.

"What is the meaning of this?" She demanded, turning towards Hira. "Release my paladins!"

In that instant, she realized that however much clout she had as the former Empress, it was not nearly enough. All Hira did was look at her, before she turned back to the gladiators. "Explain."

"Lieutenant Akira suspects they are working with the Guns of Gamara." The gladiator stated. "He is currently searching for the third."

Hira's eyes narrowed. "So they _are_ here."

Across the room, Shiro narrowed his eyes, barely even containing his anger at seeing two of those under his care handled so roughly. Ironically, the two of them being held captive was probably the only thing stopping Shiro from physically lashing out to free them. "No. You have to be mistaken. Lance and Hunk are-"

Hira turned towards him, lifting her chin. "Give me one reason why I should not put you in restraints as well."

"Because these are my _friends_!" Allura blurted out. "Hira, _please_."

Hira turned towards her, narrowing her eyes in disbelief. " _Friends_? With these lower lifeforms? They're beneath you, Empress."

"Hey!" Lance protested. "We're not lower lifeforms!"

" _Quiet_." Hira barked, muttering something underneath her breath about _princesses_ and _partners_ , to low for her to properly make out. "Empress, if your green paladin is found, and she is not in collusion with the Guns of Gamara, then I will release them. This is only a precaution."

"Yeah, well it doesn't _feel_ like a precaution!" Lance yelled.

Shiro grit his teeth- she didn't miss the way he'd taken up a defensive stance. "And if she is?"

Hira merely looked towards him, disdain evident in her features. "If she is, she will be detained, along with any members of the Guns of Gamara that are currently aboard this vessel. As will you."

Allura narrowed her eyes, clenching her fists. No. She could not allow this to happen.

But what could she do? It was not as if she were helpless without a bayard, but she was just as stuck as Shiro was- there was nothing she could do that would both ensure Hunk and Lance's safety and free them at the same time. They were outnumbered, and in enemy territory.

And _she_ had been the one to bring them here.

She shook the thought off. She could deal with that later, but right now, she needed to figure out a course of action. If only they had some kind of distraction, she could-

All at once, the ship's thrusters sputtered and died, violently enough so that it hurled them all forward. Although she had been caught just off guard by it as Hira was, she leapt at the chance- and apparently, so did Shiro.

Between the two of them, they managed to get Lance and Hunk away from the gladiators. But they didn't have long to savor their victory- because Hira quickly recovered, shouting orders at the top of her lungs.

"I think now's the right time for a tactical retreat." Shiro muttered- and quite frankly, she couldn't agree more. Grabbing Lance's arm, she tugged him forward, Shiro doing the same for Hunk, as they dashed away from the bridge as quickly as they could.

Right now, they had exactly one advantage over these Alteans- she knew the layout of this type of ship, and Hira didn't. She wasn't about to waste it.

* * *

"The thrusters," Sven hissed, almost in her ear, "-deactivate the thrusters."

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Pidge yelled, grunting in frustration. "The tech on this ship is the same as on the Castle, but the system they use for their thrusters is completely different! It's going to take me a few ticks to work it out!"

Truth be told, she was trying very hard not to panic. If the ship moved, it stood to reason that the rift that had let them enter this reality would close. And without that, they would _definitely_ need that comet if they had even a sliver of hope of getting back to their reality.

Typing away, she tried to work it all out. She knew she could do it, it would just take time. She just hoped that they _had_ time.

"Okay, almost... got it!" Pidge said.

With a shudder, the ship's thrusters powered down, pitching them all forward. She caught herself on the console, as did Sven, but Slav was less lucky, toppling over and falling on his rear.

"You okay there?" Sven asked, offering him a hand.

"Yes, fine." Slav said, accepting the offer. "At least I landed on my rear- if I'd landed on my face, that would have decreased our chances of success by about one point zero three percent!"

Sven just groaned. "And? What about the weapons systems?"

"Right." Pidge said. "Getting to that now. But I'm pretty sure the Alteans noticed that."

"You just leave that to us." Sven told her. "Do you think you can still take the comet back to your reality?"

"If we can find the same point we came in, we should be able to." Pidge said.

Provided everyone hadn't been captured already. She _hated_ not knowing.

"Good." Sven said, eying the door warily. "It must have been Akira who moved the ship."

It could have _also_ been Allura, but she held her tongue on that one. She wanted Sven to _trust_ the princess, not treat her as the enemy. Maybe it had been Allura who had started the Altean Empire, but that was _this_ reality's Allura. And if this reality's Keith was anything to go by, she couldn't exactly hold the people here to the same standards as the people she knew.

"Sounds like you really took his betrayal personally." Pidge observed.

Sven just narrowed his eyes. "How could I not? He was like family to me once. I took him in. _Trusted_ him. Now because of him, the base we worked out of was compromised."

Pidge's fingers stilled, glancing up towards him. That sounded an awful lot like Shiro and Keith.

"So... if he used to be that close to you, why did he join the Alteans?" Pidge asked. She knew she had asked the same question before, but somehow she got the feeling she'd get a straighter answer this time.

Sven's face fell, and for once, the toll Akira's betrayal had became visibly apparent. There was no anger, no frustration- just bitter remorse. "I asked him once. He said-"

"Why fight for the losing side?"

Sven swallowed, clenching his fist. Lifting his head, he turned to face Akira- who she hadn't even realized was there. "Yes. That is what you said."

Stalking into the room, Akira's gaze flickered towards her. She tensed, summoning her bayard, ready to fight if she had to. "How did you find us?"

Akira just huffed. "I spent over a year fighting with the Guns of Gamara. I know all their tricks."

"Yeah, well you don't know _my_ tricks!" Pidge said.

Sven stepped in front of her, shaking his head. "No. You and Slav should get away from here. I will deal with Akira."

"Just in case you forgot," Slav chimed in, "-your chances of survival go down every time you encounter each other."

"Thank you, Slav. I had forgotten." Sven said simply, an energy blade extending from the right arm of his pressure suit. "Now go."

Akira merely sighed, before drawing his own blade, angling it so that it was pointed right at Sven's head. She shuddered, for a split second mentally overlaying images of Shiro and Keith over their alternate reality counterparts.

God, she hoped her hunch was wrong. She hoped it wasn't a hunch at all, just paranoid fear.

But all she could think about was Lotor's general. The one who had flown the royal fighter, the one who had known all their moves.

The one who had toyed with them.

 _What_ , Lance had asked, jokingly, _is it going to turn out that ours is half-Galra or something_?


	20. escape

Chapter twenty! And with it, the alternate reality arc comes to and end... for real this time! That said, who knows? Maybe I'll touch on it again in the future, only in it's own story. I certainly came up with more than enough backstory for it!

Also, I should probably go ahead and mention that I will be away on vacation from April 5th to April 11th, so I don't really know what my update schedule will be like during that time, if I update at all! So, fair warning that there will probably be delays. But beach! Beach is good, beach is great.

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter twenty**

 **escape**

* * *

"Okay," Lance began, "-does anybody have a plan?"

Allura grimaced, watching as Shiro used his arm to slice through Lance's restraints. He'd already freed Hunk just a tick ago. "Not at the moment, no."

They had managed to hide, at least for the moment. Granted, their hiding space was a tad cramped- it was little more than a supply closet, and not a very big one. It was, thankfully, a bit out of the way, which was about the best they could ask for at the moment. She expected that they would be found eventually, but at least it would give them a bit of time to plot their next move.

"Just to be sure we're all the on the same page here, we all know that _these_ Alteans are evil, right?" Hunk asked, before shooting her a nervous look. "Uh, no offense, Allura."

"None taken." Allura said, shaking her head. "I only wish I had not let Commander Hira talk me into moving the ship. I just thought..."

She cut herself off, heaving a sigh. "Well, I suppose it doesn't much matter now."

"Allura's right." Shiro said. "What we need to focus on right now is finding Pidge."

"We should be able to track her down using the sensors in our armor." Hunk suggested. "She went with the Guns of Gamara, so she _should_ be safe, unless... well, you know."

Nobody spoke. Nobody wanted to breech the topic of Akira.

"Good." Shiro nodded, finally breaking the heavy silence. "Once we find her, we need to get back to the lions and get out of here. _With_ the comet."

"Yeah, we definitely can't let _these_ Alteans have it." Lance said. "You know that big dude they had with him? They totally scrambled his brain!"

Allura frowned, her brows knitting together. "What do you mean, _scrambled_? Hira only told us that he had been rehabilitated."

"Yeah, by turning him into a mindless slave with no free will." Hunk said. "They called it the _hoktril_."

"Not to mention dropped some pretty spooky lines about the _preservation of life_." Lance added. "At the cost of free will? No thanks."

Clenching her fists at her sides, Allura shut her eyes. She had known that there was something off about these Alteans, but it was even worse than she could have thought. If they were allowed to follow them back to their universe, she could only imagine the horrors that they would unleash there. Not even the Galra deserved that.

And she had given them the means to do it.

"Lance is right." Allura finally said, opening her eyes. "We cannot allow them to have that comet."

Shiro briefly met her eyes, and the sympathy that she found in them was almost too much to bear. Here she was, keeping secrets from him- from _all_ of them- and they were still treating her so kindly, even after she acted in error. Even worse, her insistence was the entire reason that they were all here in the first place.

She should have listened to reason. But she had just been so caught up in the idea that there might be living Alteans, that she had just...

...well, she supposed it didn't matter now. All she could do was attempt to correct her actions.

"Okay," Shiro began, "-here's the plan. Lance, Hunk, you two find Pidge. Allura and I will try and get to the lions. Hopefully we can serve as a distraction long enough for you to find Pidge and get off the ship. Then we'll get that comet and get out of here."

" _Can_ we even get out of here?" Hunk asked. "I mean... the rift closed, right?"

"That's why we need Pidge." Shiro said. "If anyone can get us out of here, it's her."

Allura was forced to agree. She wished she could help more, but the truth was that Pidge was probably the more useful of them in this particular scenario. It frustrated her- she felt as if she should know more about the lions, about Voltron, and yet compared to her father, she knew so very little.

"I've got a lock on her signal." Hunk said. "From the look if it, she's on the move."

Allura bit her lip. She wasn't sure if she liked the sound of that or not. "Let us hope that is a good sign."

Given the situation, they could use any bit of luck they could find.

* * *

So it turned out that Akira _wasn't_ alone.

In hindsight, she didn't know why she'd thought he would be. Maybe it was just the whole _lone wolf_ vibe that their Keith had always given off when he'd been around. It had been a pretty stupid line of thought- no matter how (distressingly) parallel this universe seemed to be to theirs, it didn't mean that _everything_ would be the same.

"I thought the non-cogs were supposed to be _docile_!" Pidge yelled.

"Oh, mostly!" Slav agreed. "Unfortunately, the Alteans can reverse that!"

Pidge grumbled, turning the corner so sharply that she skidded. She scrambled to get back to her feet, knowing that the non-cog was just mere seconds behind them. For a big guy, he sure could move fast!

"Don't worry!" Slav assured her. "I'm almost positive that this is one of the ninety-five point zero three realities in which he's been ordered to capture us relatively unharmed!"

"And the remaining five percent of realities?" Pidge shouted.

"He rends us from limb to limb!" Slav informed her.

That gave her all the incentive she needed to pick up speed. Sure, she had her bayard, but she didn't want to fight this guy alone if she had to- or at all, really. It wasn't like he could _control_ what he was doing, so the thought of fighting him didn't exactly sit right with her. She would if she had to- she'd just rather not.

"I don't suppose you have any way of switching hoktrils off?" Pidge asked.

"Nope!" Slav said. "We can remove them manually, but we haven't come up with a way to deactivate them remotely just yet!"

Grumbling, Pidge summoned her bayard in a flash. It was starting to sound a lot like she wasn't going to be able to avoid a fight. She really kind of wished that at least one of the other paladins would find her, because to say that she didn't exactly have faith in Slav as a battle partner was so obvious, it didn't even really need to be stated- no matter how much more together _this_ Slav seemed.

"I need to regroup with the other paladins!" Pidge shouted. "Any chance you know where they are?"

"That depends on which reality we're in!" Slav oh so helpfully informed her, causing her to groan. "Akira's presence tends to complicate things, mostly because I'm not one hundred percent sure just _which_ reality we're in! There could be any number of-"

Pidge grumbled, tuning Slav out as she rounded another corner, again way too sharply. She barely recovered in time, Moxilus lunging at her with a blow that definitely would have done some damage had it hit, paladin armor or not. Scrambling out of the way, Pidge turned sharply on her heel, holding up her bayard in front of her. She was _done_ running.

"Yeah? Well how about in the reality where Kei- _Akira_ sends a non-cog after us?" Pidge hastily corrected herself. Bracing herself, she watched Moxilus take a tick to process the fact that his blow hadn't landed, and that furthermore, his targets weren't running any longer. There seemed to be a delay there, which she automatically filed away for future use.

"Oh, so you _do_ have one in your reality!" Slav almost chirped, unfortunately not missing her slip, proceeding to peek around his shoulder as if Keith would just manifest out of thin air. "Why isn't he here?"

"No offense, but that's not really a discussion I want to have right now!" Pidge yelled. "Just tell me how to take this thing down."

Moxilus lunged at her, forcing her to jump back to avoid it. He seemed to be focusing more on her than he was Slav- which made _no_ sense to her, considering he was the known rebel in this scenario. Maybe she was just regarded as the bigger threat because of her lion. She couldn't say.

All she knew was that the person who had to have given the non-cog his orders was the same one who had brought it with him. In other words, Akira.

She was starting to understand why Sven believed so firmly that he had really betrayed them. It was pretty hard to argue with what she saw with her own eyes. And while that sucked, yeah, what she _really_ didn't like was what it eluded to in their _own_ reality, especially if her theory was correct.

For once, she desperately hoped she was wrong.

Moxilus reared to strike again, but a well aimed shot just by his feet forced him to stagger back instead. Turning to look behind her, a relieved smile crossed Pidge's face as she spotted two of her fellow paladins. "Lance! Hunk!"

"Pidge!" Hunk exclaimed, rushing over towards her. "Oh thank god, you're safe."

"I'm safe too, guys!" Slav chimed in.

"Oh great," Lance grumbled, still holding his rifle in position, "- _Slav's_ fine."

"We thought maybe Akira had found you." Hunk said.

"Oh, he did." Pidge told him, causing Hunk to pale. "Why do you think Moxilus is chasing me?"

"Any ideas about how to deal with this guy?" Lance asked, firing another round towards his feet, getting him to back off again. Even without any free will, he seemed to at least have some kind of basic self-preservation instinct. "Cause I don't know about you, but I'd feel kind of bad about actually shooting him."

"Sven and I set some explosives on the ship." Slav helpfully informed them. "If I detonate them, it may give us time to get away."

Pidge shrugged. "It's as good a plan as any."

"Where _is_ Sven, anyways?" Hunk asked. "I thought he'd be with you guys."

"Fighting Akira." Pidge said flatly. There was pretty much no way she could sugarcoat that, so she didn't even try.

" _Against_ my advice." Slav added.

Hunk and Lance exchanged a look, the latter's brows knitting together. "Should we go help him? I mean..."

He didn't have to finish. She knew what he was trying to say- they all did. In fact, she knew it better than either of them- all they knew was that Akira had once worked with the Guns. They didn't know how close the two of them had once been- even if they could probably guess that much from how Shiro and Keith had been in their reality.

You know, when Keith was actually still _around_. Before he had been captured by the Galra and had practically vanished off the face of the universe.

Just like Akira had. And when Akira finally came back, he'd definitely come back wrong- and he'd only been gone for _half_ the time Keith had been missing, if that. She grit her teeth, trying not to think about it. They had to focus on getting out of _this_ situation, before she could start letting herself go wild with theories she hated to even contemplate.

"You three should just worry about getting that comet back to your own reality." Slav advised them, for once saying something that was actual sensible. "Don't you worry about us. We've had to deal with Akira before. I don't think Sven will die."

He paused, and then added, "-this time."

"Well _that's_ comforting." Lance said, narrowing his eyes.

"He's right, though." Pidge admitted. "Right now, our priority should be getting that comet. Slav?"

This _wasn't_ their reality. As much as she wanted to help, they had a fight of their own that they had to deal with first. Maybe once things with the Galra were sorted out, they could come back- _if_ that were even possible. She was almost positive that she could get them home, but coming _back_?

That she wasn't so sure about.

"Right!" Slav said. "Explosions, coming up!"

He pressed a button on his gauntlet, and a second later, the ship rocked, a powerful blast ripping through it from further down the ship. It was enough to knock Moxilus completely off his feet. They, on the other hand, had been prepared for it, and had braced themselves accordingly. They didn't stick around for long- using their jetpacks, they propelled themselves down the hallway, with Slav in tow.

"Where are Shiro and Allura?" Pidge asked. They couldn't still possibly be with-?

"They went to get their lions." Hunk said, and she let out a faint breath of relief. "We're supposed to meet them there."

"I still can't _believe_ that Akira jerk, though." Lance grumbled, his grip on his bayard tight, and not because of any lingering tension. "He totally had those weird gladiator robots capture us and haul us to the bridge! Once we get back to our reality, I'm _never_ complaining about Keith or his stupid mullet ever again."

Pidge bit her lip, tearing her eyes away from them. There was no way she could tell them her theories about Keith- at least, not when they were all still in danger.

She just had to hope that Sven would make it out alright.

* * *

"We don't have to do this, you know."

"You're right." Akira's voice was still as rough as ever. He would have thought that three months of living with the Alteans would have smoothed the edges out a bit, but it hadn't changed. "You could just surrender."

"And end up a non-cog?" Sven asked. "No thanks."

Akira merely rolled his shoulders in a shrug, not breaking his stance. "Suit yourself."

Sven narrowed his eyes, adjusting his own stance. He knew he should have the advantage of strength over Akira- but that only applied if he were human. Even before they were both aware of his Altean heritage, it had made itself apparent in his disproportionate strength. It had once made him an asset to the Guns of Gamara, but now, that asset had been turned against them in the worst way possible.

He still didn't understand _why_.

He thought he had known Akira. But the Akira he thought he'd known never would have turned on them all like this. The Akira he had known was fierce, loyal- and in spite of everything that he had suffered in his childhood, and perhaps even _because_ of it, possessed a strong sense of justice, a staunch sense of right and wrong.

But he guessed he didn't know him as well as he thought he did. Maybe he never really knew him at all, not where it counted.

The fierce loyalty was exactly the same as it had always been. Only now, it was devoted to the cause of the Altean Empire. To helping stamp out the free will of everything the Alteans considered to be _too evil_ or _too violent_ \- which was such a massively broad criteria that nearly everything fell in within its definition.

He wanted to believe in him- of course he did. He had known Akira since he was practically a child, but all the evidence suggested that regardless of whatever had motivated him to join the Alteans, his loyalty to them was likely genuine. He had given them intelligence that had lead to one of their bases being compromised, and they had never seen the two other Guns that had been captured alongside him again.

He could only assume that they had already fallen victim to the hoktril.

(The two paladins, yellow and green... they reminded him of them. But yellow was too young, and green was far better with tech than he ever remembered Cat being. Counterparts, just like Shiro seemed to be his own.)

Without batting an eye, Akira lunged. He deflected it, his broadsword creating sparks as it slid across the edge of his own energy sword. It didn't deter him in the least, as he pivoted on his heel, spinning his sword so that it was angled at him again, moving in with another thrust that quite possibly would have taken his head off if it landed.

Well, at least that was _one_ difference between Akira and the rest of the Alteans- when he fought, he still fought to kill.

He met his thrust with his own sword, grunting a little at the sheer amount of force that Akira had at his disposal. He had always been strong, but ever since he had taken on a more Altean appearance, that strength had only grown. Not only that, but his skill with the sword had gotten markedly better since they had fought last, nearly a full month ago now.

"You've improved." Sven observed.

"I've got a good teacher." Akira absently commented, breaking the stalemate.

"One of the perks of being Altean, I take it." Sven dryly remarked.

Akira just hummed, appearing unbothered by the remark. He took his own betrayal in brazen stride, which was perhaps the worst part of it all. "A lot more than being human."

"Akira-" Sven began.

Akira's eyes narrowed as he cut him off, angling his sword towards him. "I thought we were supposed to be fighting. Or do you think you can still convince me I'm wrong?"

"You are." Sven said firmly, tucking away his hesitation. It would only get him killed. "But I understand. You've made your choice. Nothing I can say will change that."

Akira's grip tightened on the hilt of his sword, his mouth set in a tight line. "Then stop trying to act like you're my brother still."

Those words stung, even after all this time. Sven handled it by pushing them aside, taking the initiative this time. He lunged towards Akira, who easily deflected his blow with his sword- but the two handed sword left his side vulnerable, so he clenched his left fist, aiming a punch into the inside of his guard.

He might be a traitor, but he didn't want to kill Akira. _Couldn't_ , in fact.

He didn't know if Akira would spare him the same mercy, though. If one could even call it that. Perhaps the fact that he fought to kill _was_ a mercy- a trace remnant of the half-Altean's humanity. The hoktril was useless on the dead.

Unfortunately, for all that Akira's choice of weapon left him potentially exposed, he simply knew him too well for his surprise attack to _be_ a surprise. He broke off their stalemate, maneuvering so that there was some distance put between them, his sword at the ready should he lunge at him again.

"Shouldn't you have come up with some new tricks by now, old man?" Akira taunted.

"You know what they say about old dogs." Sven merely replied.

Unexpectedly, the edges of Akira's mouth quirked upwards in a grin, the softest of snorts escaping from him. Apparently his time with the Alteans had yet to eliminate his sense of humor. Part of him wished that it would- it was yet another painful reminder that in too many respects, he was still the same person he had been before he had switched sides. Not even the Alteans, with their strict discipline, could fully tame him.

Then again, given his status... perhaps they weren't exactly trying.

Before Akira could get any kind of retort in, the ship rocked violently. It was different from when the one called Pidge had shut down the thrusters- more familiar. Slav must have set off the explosives. It wasn't enough to throw him off his feet- or Akira, for that matter, but it was long enough to temporarily distract the half-Altean.

Seeing his chance, Sven pushed forward, slipping in through the gap in Akira's guard. He noticed- but it was a second too late to stop it. With a groan, he crumpled to the ground, his broadsword clattering uselessly on the floor beside him. Drawing away, Sven exhaled, hesitating for a second- before he banished his energy sword and turned to leave. Regrouping with Slav was a higher priority right now.

Akira would likely be fine- he'd just struck him hard enough to knock him out, not to do any serious damage. He knew from experience that Alteans were tough, and Akira had inherited that toughness. Maybe he was a traitor now- but it didn't change the fact that in the end, he was still important to him.

He had said before the fact that Akira took his betrayal in such stride was the worst part, but that was wrong. The worst part was that no matter how much he might try, he simply couldn't bring himself to hate him. He was still family- no matter what vile acts he committed in the name of the Altean Empire.

He _could_ capture Akira, and bring him back with him, but unless he were willing to come back to them on his own terms, he refused to do so. Not everything that came out of Hira's mouth was a lie- if he were to bring Akira back to the Guns with him, they would surely kill him.

One less potential alchemist- and one less Altean of royal blood- to worry about.

So with one last lingering look towards the one who had once called himself his brother, Sven left.

* * *

He wasn't there to notice Akira crack an eye open just a few seconds later, silently checking if he was gone. Nor was he there to see him haul himself up into a sitting position, gingerly rubbing his neck where Sven had struck it. Grumbling to himself, Akira lifted his head, glancing towards the ship's central hub. Huffing, he stumbled to his feet, shaking off the effects of Sven's blow and picked up his sword. Humming to himself, he idly tapped the butt of his sword into the ground, before slashing outwards, sending sparks flying from the control panel. Any data recovery would be next to impossible now.

"Whoops," he mumbled to himself, "-hand slipped."

Stepping away, he tilted his head, looking back towards the exit that Sven had left from. Tossing his sword aside, he collapsed on the floor, right where he had been before. He'd have to listen to a mouthful of Hira's complaints later, but at least being knocked out would give him a good excuse for pulling himself out of this battle.

He'd won enough trust to render the excuse viable, though the less he had to talk about what he'd had to do to get it, the better. He just had to hope those paladins or whatever took that damn comet back to _their_ reality- and took their Empress- _Princess_ \- Allura with them. The last thing the Alteans needed was the ability to access every possible reality, and _another_ Allura.

(If what Kolivan had told him was true- and he had no reason to doubt that it was- the old one had never actually left anyways. She'd probably be _thrilled_ to get her hands a younger version of her original body.)

It should be fine. If that really _was_ some weird alternate reality version of Sven leading them, there was no way they could fail. And he'd have one hell of a story to bring back to Tsuyoshi and Cat- alternate realities? _Wild_. He was pretty damn sure the yellow and green paladins were just their alternate universe counterparts- Pidge looked so similar that he had nearly called her by Cat's name.

He was almost positive that the blue paladin was a younger, even more annoying version of Isamu. He should just consider himself lucky that he apparently _wasn't_ on this mission. One of them was bad enough, but _two_ of them? Even Sven might have trouble with that.

He just wondered why there was no alternate reality version of _him_.

* * *

Thankfully, they made it back to the lions without too much of a struggle. They had run into a squadron of gladiator robots, but had been able to dispatch them without too much of a fight. She guessed Hira must have been busy dealing with the multiple explosions that were still going off around the ship, some probably due to Shiro and Allura's joint efforts to serve as a very effective distraction.

They parted ways from Slav- and less paranoid alternate reality version or not, she couldn't be more grateful for that fact. There was only so much Slav she could take in one sitting. Now back behind the controls of the green lion, she quickly regrouped with Shiro and Allura, relieved to see both of their faces on the green lion's screens.

Even if Allura looked undeniably haunted.

It wasn't like she could blame her- finding out that there was an alternate reality where you were the one to lead your people down the path of evil? That _had_ to suck.

"Alright paladins," Shiro began, as soon as they were all gathered, "-we need to form Voltron, get that comet, and get out of here."

"We _can_ do that, right?" Hunk nervously asked.

"We should be able to." Pidge told them, already starting the calculations needed. "We just need to find the exact point in space we came in through."

If they didn't, they still might be able to escape- but they'd just end up in some other reality, and then there really _would_ be no way to get back home. Besides, she didn't want to take the chance of that third reality being one where _humanity_ was actually evil and conquering all of known space or something.

This reality sucked enough as it was already.

"Alright, you heard Pidge." Shiro said. "Now let's form Voltron!"

Pinpointing the comet's location on the ship wasn't hard- it gave off the same elemental signature as Voltron did, so it was super easy for their systems to track it. Breaking into the cargo hold, they grabbed the comet from the ship. She narrowed her eyes a little, wondering if Sven was alright- if he had made it out with his fight with Akira okay.

But this _wasn't_ their reality- or their fight. All they could do was ensure that the Altean Empire couldn't use what they had brought into it to spread their domination to other realities- _including_ their own. Which meant taking the comet back with them.

Which was all fine and good- except for one major problem. As long as they were holding onto the comet, they couldn't attack- or even defend, for that matter. It was just too big. It was only once the ship started firing that she remembered that she had never been able to disable the weapons systems before Akira had found them.

Pidge clenched her teeth- as long as they could get back to their reality, it wouldn't matter if they took a hit or not. Sure enough, just as she found the entry point, a shot whizzed too close to Voltron, barely missing them- but the next one, fired just after that, as they were about to slip through back into what was hopefully their reality, struck true.

It rocked Voltron violently, the sheer force of the blast combined with the shock of forcing their way back through the rift, had her seeing black.

* * *

He had just finished off one of the training robots when the ship's alarms went off, forcing an end to the simulation. Automatically tensing, Keith found himself caught between two distinct emotions- joy and dread.

 _Joy_ , because if the alarm was going off, then Voltron had returned from the other reality.

 _Dread_ , because it meant that they had done so _with_ the comet.

Sheathing his knife, Keith drew in a long breath. Seconds later, Lotor's voice came over the ship's speakers, informing them of what he already knew- that Voltron had returned with the comet, and that now was their time to seize it from them. Closing his eyes, he simply stood there for a moment- before they snapped back open.

Turning on his heel, he stalked out of the training room. Acxa was already waiting in the hangar, alongside Narti- Ezor and Zethrid hurried in behind him. The former eyed him with suspicion, but he brushed it off, ignoring it as he made for his fighter. He wanted no part in this, but the choice wasn't his.

So he boarded his fighter, and prepared to fight the paladins for a second time.

But for once, luck was on his side- as dubious a form of luck it was, since it just meant that Voltron wasn't up to fighting. It was listing in space upon approach- although the gleam of its eyes meant that it was fully functional. It was just that the paladins weren't responding.

He buried that concern, focusing his full attention on the mission at hand. Getting the comet was easy- there was no response from the Castle of Lions, so Coran must have been too shocked to do anything- assuming that Coran was even onboard, and that he hadn't just gone into the alternate reality with them.

Somehow he doubted it.

As they hauled the comet away, Keith turned his head. It was impossible to get a look at Voltron from the vantage point of his ship's cockpit, but even though he knew that, it didn't stop him from doing it anyways. He didn't know when he'd have the chance to see them next- or even if he wanted to. The less he saw of Voltron and the paladins, the better.

At least they had made it back.

Slumping back in his seat, he let his grip on the controls grow lax. They _had_ made it back- and the black lion was back in action. It meant they were fine- that _Shiro_ was fine.

If he clung to that thought, he could go on.

* * *

The blaring of Voltron's alarms roused her from unconsciousness.

Not nearly quickly enough, since by the time she had returned to full awareness, Lotor's generals had already made off with the comet. All she could do was watch helplessly as they escaped into hyperspace, rendering them unable to pursue.

Keith was on that ship, she knew.

That wasn't the only thing that had her dragging her feet, making her hesitant to leave the red lion and join the others on the bridge. She knew that she had to be there, but she also knew just as well that she could no longer keep her secret a secret. Her plans of telling Shiro first in private had all but fallen to the wayside. After what they had all gone through in the alternate reality with Akira... she knew she had to tell them, and soon.

It just... wouldn't be easy to say.

Because for all that she hoped that Keith was doing this all reluctantly, she could not say the same about Akira. That would be what was fresh in their minds as she told them the truth- and no matter what she said, it was liable to color their impressions of the situation.

So for a moment, she simply sat, gathering up her courage. It was her mistake that had lead them all into this situation- and thus, her mistake that had allowed Lotor to get his hands on the trans-reality comet, likely just as he wanted. He must have been the one who had faked the distress signal, and she had fallen for it completely.

(And _Keith_ had been a part of that.)

Opening her eyes, Allura sighed. Sitting here was clearly doing her no good. Getting to her feet, she let one of the hands linger on the controls of the red lion. It had gone silent ever since they had returned from the alternate reality- she suspected that she would never have the same relationship with it that it had once had with Keith.

Likely, it hadn't given up on him just yet.

She wished she could use that as evidence that Keith had not truly gone to the dark side, but she knew that the lions did not work that way. If they did, they would not have had such a struggle with the black lion. And while at the very least, Keith did not seem to be actively fighting her for control of the red lion, like Zarkon had done with the black lion, it still did not change the fact that she knew he potentially could.

And that it was a fight she would lose.

Squaring her shoulders, Allura clenched her fist. The longer she lingered here, the less inclined she felt to tell the paladins anything.

That would simply not do.

Turning on her heel, she stalked out of the red lion. Making her way from its hangar, she arrived at the bridge in short order. She didn't even have to look to know that she was the last one to arrive- but she did anyways, a faint smile of relief creeping onto her features as she spotted Pidge, confirming without a shred of doubt that she was alright.

Shiro sat slumped in the black paladin's chair, clearly exhausted. She could hardly blame him- this had been his first day out of the pod, and he had been forced to deal with alternate realities, trans-reality comets, and an evil version of someone he considered to be like family to him.

And she only had more bad news to give him.

"Princess!" Coran cried. "Oh, thank the ancients, you're alright. Lance was just filling me in about everything that happened in that dreadful alternate reality."

Allura offered him a weak smile, tucking her helmet under her arm. "It was all rather trying, I must admit."

"Yeah, well at least we're home now." Lance said. "I am _definitely_ not planning a trip back there any time soon."

 _Home_. The words unexpectedly stung. It was true that for some time now, she had considered the paladins as her family, and the Castle as her new home, but those same words that might have once brought her comfort only caused her gut to twist, the weight of what she had been keeping a secret all this time threatening to cause her to collapse. She refused, standing tall in spite of it- if she had managed to weather the destruction of Altea, then she could weather this storm too.

"Without the trans-reality comet, we have no way of getting back there anyways." Pidge remarked. "Voltron can't make that jump on its own."

"I just hope Sven and alternate reality Slav got away okay." Hunk said.

"Eh, I'm sure they're fine." Lance shrugged. "I figure Slav would have been like, _way_ more freaked out if they were in a reality where everything goes south."

"I don't understand." Coran frowned. "Why would the direction matter?"

"What? No it's-"

"I have something I need to say." Allura cut Lance off, rather abruptly. She sensed that if she let the flow of conversation continue, she might lose her chance entirely.

Her tone must have come across as sharper than she thought, for the entire bridge fell into silence at her words. All eyes were now on her- save for Shiro, whose gaze remained where it had been for the entire duration- fixed on the window, staring out into the patch of space where the rift had once been.

She wondered if he were thinking about Akira- or about Keith.

Drawing in a short breath, she let it out in the form of a sigh. Looking at the expectant faces of the paladins, she gathered her strength. She feared that she would need every ounce she possessed for this.

"It's about Keith."


	21. nightmare

Here's the latest chapter, hot off the presses! I felt like I had something else to say in this author's note but now that I'm actually writing it, I forgot what it was. Probably wasn't important, but still... clenches fist. I love not remembering shit. Anyways, if I remember what it was I wanted to say I'll put it in some other author's note somewhere provided it was important, and if you know... I remember. That's all from me today, please enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter twenty one**

 **nightmare**

* * *

Once she was done speaking, the bridge lapsed into a silence that could almost be described as oppressive.

Allura weathered it, keeping her head held high. She couldn't look away, however much she wanted to. That would be taking the easy way out, and she could not allow herself to do that. Not when she was just as responsible for Keith's fate as Haggar was.

It had been _her_ choice to accompany them to the transportation hub, and _her_ choice to infiltrate the Galra cruiser. Everyone else had wanted to leave, but she alone had insisted that getting the information was worth the risk. But that had been when she thought that _she_ would be the only one put in danger if they were caught- she never could have imagined that anyone else would have paid the price for her choice.

So she watched. Watched as shock turned to confusion, to hurt, to betrayal and anger- vivid emotions playing out across their faces, with no two paladins reacting quite the same. Hunk was stunned, confused, and more than a little hurt. Lance was the same at first, but then he ducked his head, clenching his fists in anger. Pidge was much the same as him, but instead of ducking her head, she directed her anger towards a singular source- her.

"Why didn't you tell us this sooner?" Pidge demanded.

"I thought it would be better to wait." Allura told her, which suddenly felt like a very weak excuse to her ears. "Voltron was in a vulnerable state, and I didn't think-"

"You're damn right you didn't think!" Pidge yelled, narrowing her eyes. "We could have spent those two weeks looking for Keith, looking for answers, and you just _lied_ to us! Just like you did with Zarkon and the Black Lion."

"Look for Keith?" Lance snorted, now glaring at Pidge instead of the floor. "Why would we do that? So he can show us just how buddy buddy he is with Lotor now?"

Hunk shifted on his feet, glancing uncomfortably over towards Lance. "Lance, I don't think-"

"Don't think what, Hunk? That Keith's not a traitor?" Lance cut him off, taking them all by surprise at how quickly he snapped at his friend, but probably no one more than Hunk. "I mean, did we ever really even know him? We've been worried _sick_ about him, and he's been working for the Galra!"

Hunk flinched, staring down at his feet. "Maybe... maybe he has a reason?"

"What kind of reason could he possibly have?" Lance asked, narrowing his eyes. "I mean, how do we even know he was ever on our side in the first place?"

Allura paled. "Lance, you cannot meant that."

"Yeah, well maybe I do." Lance said, before his shoulders slumped, some of his anger giving way to hurt. "He _attacked_ us. And don't try to pretend that wasn't him in that royal fighter. That _had_ to be Keith."

"You realized it then, didn't you?" Pidge asked, staring at her. "Why didn't you- why didn't you say something?"

"I," Allura began, "-I wanted to wait for Shiro to wake up."

Everyone went silent at that, as if it had only just dawned on them that Shiro hadn't said a single word. Slowly, Allura turned towards him, quickly realizing that he was still in a state of shock.

"Shiro?" She cautiously asked.

At the sound of his name, he started. Slowly, he turned towards her, his eyes glazed over- and, she realized a tick too late- feverish. He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. He tried again to similar effect, only this time he also attempted to walk forward, but very quickly grew unsteady on his feet.

Hunk just barely caught him in the nick of time.

"Is he-?" Pidge asked.

Hunk pressed his hand against Shiro's forehead, then shook his head. "He's got a bad fever. I think... I think maybe today was too much for him."

"He did just get out of the pod." Coran said. "He's probably still weak from being in it for so long. The shock was probably too much for him."

Allura felt a stab of guilt at that. She knew that she should have let him rest, and yet she had rushed into investigating the rift anyways. On top of that, she had given what was likely the worst possible news he could get, second only to announcing Keith's death. She'd known how close he was to him, so she should have tried to tackle the situation with a bit more tact, and not nearly as quickly. Now his condition had worsened, and she was to blame for it.

"We should let him get some rest." Allura said. "I think we _all_ could do with some rest. Today was a long day."

Pidge looked up at her, looking as if she wanted to say something, but chose not to. Instead she clenched her fists, tearing her gaze away. "Fine. But someone should probably stay up to watch Shiro."

"We can do it in shifts." Coran said. "I can take the first one."

"I'll take the second." Allura volunteered.

"Third." Lance said, though his tone was still noticeably sour. He was back to glaring at the ground, half lost in his own thoughts. "Hunk can take the fourth."

Hunk opened his mouth, for a second looking like he wanted to protest Lance picking his shift for him, then shrugged, careful not to disturb Shiro. "Fourth's fine with me."

"Guess I'll take the last one." Pidge said.

"Good, then it's agreed." Allura said. "Hunk, do you think you'll need a hand with Shiro?"

Hunk nodded, his eyes darting over towards Lance. Usually he would be the one to offer him a hand, but she didn't think Lance was in the best of moods right now. She had grossly underestimated just how poorly he would take the news.

"Yeah," Hunk said finally, looking back at her, "-thanks."

Pidge scoffed, muttering something barely audible underneath her breath. Coran, who was closer and could hear her, bristled, but she sent him a sharp look, silently warning him not to say anything. Right now everyone just needed some time to process all of this on their own- they could discuss it later.

It wasn't like Pidge was wrong anyways. She had every right to be mad at her. They all did. She had kept something of critical importance from them, and had cost them all valuable time. She thought she had been doing the right thing, but perhaps she had only been protecting her own interests.

Just look at what she had put poor Shiro through.

"He'll be fine though, right?" Hunk asked, as she helped lift Shiro by his legs. She could carry him on her own, but she got the feeling that Hunk needed to be doing something at the moment. "I mean, he's not..."

"I can scan his vitals, if you like." Coran offered. "But odds are, it's probably just exhaustion. That and a bit of a fever."

Hunk heaved a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging slightly. "Okay. That's good."

Allura said nothing, merely offered him a weak smile, which he accepted. Together, they carefully carried Shiro to his room, setting him down on his bed. He didn't stir, and his breaths came out a bit hot, but at least they seemed steady.

"We should probably get him out of that armor, huh." Hunk said, barely even looking at her.

"We should." Allura agreed. "Hunk, about Keith-"

"I know." Hunk said. "I know, but can we just... not talk about it right now? I just need some time to think it all over."

Allura nodded, accepting that. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep it from you all, I only thought..."

Hunk looked up at her. "I know. You were trying to do the right thing. With Shiro in the pod..."

Again, Allura nodded. "I am afraid I just made a mistake instead."

Hunk shook his head, even as he busied himself, carefully removing the upper half of Shiro's armor. "I don't think this is a situation that _has_ an easy right answer. You did what you thought was right, so I don't think you should beat yourself up over it."

She frowned slightly at the odd turn of phrase. "Pidge-"

"Pidge will come around." Hunk said. "She's just upset, and she's taking it out on you. She shouldn't be."

Allura heaved a sigh. Perhaps he was right. Trying to put it from her mind, she helped Hunk remove the rest of Shiro's armor- it was a testament to how exhausted he was that he didn't stir even once during the whole process. She caught Hunk checking his pulse out of the corner of her eye when he thought she wasn't looking, and pretended like she hadn't noticed. She couldn't exactly blame him for being worried.

"Was it him?" Hunk suddenly asked.

Allura blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question. "Who?"

"Keith." Hunk said. "In the- in the Weblum."

"Oh." Allura frowned, then slowly nodded. She hadn't given it a lot of thought, but it must have been. "Yes, I think so."

"He was- he looked so _different_." Hunk muttered. "I didn't even recognize him."

"He was wearing a helmet. One that hid his face." Allura quickly pointed out, though having actually seen images of him, she had to agree. "You said so yourself."

"Yeah, but _still_." Hunk said, his brows knitting together. "What if- what if he needs our help? I was right there, and he was right there, and I didn't- I didn't even _know_."

"It's not your fault." Allura told him. "No one could have foreseen this."

"I know, I just... I just wish I hadn't let him go." Hunk said.

Sensing that he didn't mean in the Weblum, Allura stared down at the helmet in her hands. It was Shiro's, that of the black paladin. She thought of how he'd had to fight Zarkon for control of the black lion, and wondered if she would ever have to do that with Keith.

She didn't want to. She hoped that she was right, that he simply felt he had no other option but to join Lotor or that perhaps... perhaps he had some other motivation she didn't know about. One that didn't equal betrayal, even if it looked like it on the surface.

It was nice to know she wasn't the only one to feel that way.

"You should get some rest." Allura finally told him. "Take some time to think it over, like you said."

Hunk frowned, before slowly nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. Today was pretty crazy."

Allura said nothing to that, busying herself with Shiro's helmet, carefully placing it next to the rest of the armor. Thankfully, Coran arrived not long after, all but shooing Hunk out of the room, insisting that he get some sleep- or at the very least get out of his armor _before_ he started stress baking this time.

"You should rest too, Princess." Coran told her.

"I know." Allura admitted. "But I don't think I am quite up to it."

"Never know until you try." Coran said. "I'll watch over Number One here."

"Thank you, Coran." Allura told him, before pausing. "And I am sorry. It wasn't just the paladins. I kept this from you as well."

"I'm only sorry I didn't realize sooner." Coran told her. "You shouldn't have had to carry that weight all by yourself. It couldn't have been easy."

"No," Allura admitted, "-it wasn't."

"Keeping secrets never is." Coran said. "Especially not ones as painful as this."

"Do you really think he betrayed us, Coran?" Allura asked suddenly.

Coran simply shook his head. "I'm afraid that's not a question I can answer, Princess. I wish I could. I'd do anything to spare you from having to go through that pain for a second time."

Allura merely sighed. She supposed she was long since past the time where Coran knew the answers to all of her questions. "I suppose you're right. I probably should at least try to get some rest."

Coran hummed in agreement, and she left before he could shoo her out like he had Hunk. Strangely, instead of heading to her room like she intended, she found her feet leading her down a different path- down towards the red lion's hangar.

She didn't question it, just let them guide her. The red lion almost seemed to be waiting for her, lowered so that she had easy access to its cockpit. Climbing up the ramp, she made her way to the pilot's seat, closing her eyes and telling herself that she was just going to shut them for a short while. It was hardly becoming to fall asleep in one's lion.

She was asleep within mere seconds of thinking that.

* * *

Keith stalked off without waiting for Lotor's debriefing.

Nobody moved to stop him, though Acxa did glare in his direction. His tail lashed angrily behind him, a clear signal to his mood. The whole thing had left a sour taste in his mouth, but more importantly, he was worried about the paladins. If Voltron had still been active but wasn't moving, then it had to mean that something was wrong with the paladins, not it.

Lotor might know, but even if he asked, he didn't think he'd tell him. Voltron's role in his little scheme was pretty much over now, so he got the feeling the prince turned emperor didn't care if they lived or died. He'd never say as much to his face, but he didn't have to be a genius to figure that out.

He found himself in the training room, though he hadn't really planned where he was going. Removing his bayard from his belt, it flashed into a sword as he stalked forward into the room. He knew he needed to do something about all this anger that was bubbling up inside of him, but he didn't really have a good outlet for it. All he could do was train, and hope that some of it went away in the process.

So that's exactly what he did.

He tore through the first training robot with ease. He was getting better at fighting with his new height in mind, though sometimes he still made obvious mistakes. He still hadn't won any matches with Ezor or Zethrid, and sometimes he suspected that they were just toying with him.

But he'd made progress, to the point where he probably couldn't go back to fighting like he used to. Not that he ever _would_ \- he hadn't realized it until later, but he'd been holding out a slim hope that once he was free from the constant injections of quintessence, he might start looking a little more human again. Unfortunately that hadn't happened, leaving him once and for all to realize that the change in his appearance was permanent. There was no going back.

He took out the second robot, pausing only for a second to catch his breath before he called the third. He had more stamina now, and didn't get tired as easily. He'd always had more than normal, but now it was clear that it came from a place that wasn't human. It was because he had alien blood in his veins- _Galra_ blood.

It wasn't something he could escape from.

Especially not now that he looked like this. The thought caused his fur to bristle as he ducked into the guard of the training robot, barely pausing to blink as he swiftly decapitated it without so much as a second thought. The sound of its head hitting the floor caught his ears, and only then did he stop to think about what he had done, letting out a long, shuddering breath.

That was an aggressive move, even for him.

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. Sometimes it felt like he was just becoming _more_ Galra. Like his insides were trying to match up to his outside. Like it wasn't just a skin he wore anymore, but just what he was- _who_ he was. He was Galra, inescapably Galra, and as he lived and breathed it, his own humanity felt like it was becoming more distant.

He didn't like it, but what could he do? It wasn't like he could go _back_. Not to Earth, not to Voltron. This was his only option.

Aside from going back to Haggar, and letting her finish whatever it was she was trying to accomplish with him. At first he thought she'd just been trying to make him more Galra, but the more familiar he got with his own body and the new set of instincts that came with it, the more he wondered if that was all.

Growling in frustration, Keith plopped down on the floor, his tail flicking out of the way. He hadn't mediated in awhile. Maybe he should.

Closing his eyes, he rested his bayard sword over his lap. Taking in a deep breath, he tried to steady his breathing, quiet his thoughts. It had seemed so easy while he had been in Haggar's prison, but now it eluded him. That just made him try harder- maybe there was nothing he could do about being entrenched in Galra culture, but he didn't want to risk losing that thin thread of humanity that he still clung to.

His name, his memories, his thoughts and feelings... those were all he had left, and even then sometimes he felt his grip on the latter was tenuous at best. Which meant he had to try harder. He couldn't let his anger overtake him like this. He wasn't sure he'd like who he'd become if he did.

He was so focused that he barely even noticed when someone entered. They simply hovered a good distance away, trying to gauge what he was doing. It was only once he caught a whiff of their scent, that he realized he wasn't alone. Cracking open an eye, he glanced behind him- sure enough, it was Acxa.

He wondered if that was a Galra thing, being able to pick up on individual scents. It wasn't like he ever asked, even if he probably should. He had a million questions about his body, but having Adam give him The Talk had been mortifying enough, he didn't exactly want to hear about even non-puberty related changes to his body from a bunch of half-Galra women who were all older than him.

(Lotor, naturally, was completely out of the question.)

"Look, I'm sorry I blew off the debriefing, but I just wasn't in the mood." Keith said.

"You're not sorry." Acxa said. "You never are."

There was a familiarity to her words that caused his fur to stand on end. He kept telling himself that he'd been trying to avoid his fellow Generals, but he knew in truth he'd been doing a lousy job of it. Heaving a sigh, he resigned himself to the fact that avoiding them was impossible. They were part of the same crew. They worked alongside one another. Maybe it was just time he accepted it.

(It still didn't mean he had to like them, he told himself. Even if he _was_ slowly starting to see them more as people.)

"Did Lotor send you here to lecture me?" Keith asked.

"No." Acxa said. "Lotor didn't send me."

Keith frowned, now properly looking back at her. "So what, you just came to lecture me on your own?"

"I'm not here to lecture you." Acxa said.

Keith's frown deepened, his brows knitting together. "So... why _are_ you here? If you need the training room, I can-"

"You're worried about the paladins." Acxa cut him off.

Narrowing his eyes, Keith's tail briefly stilled, before it resumed movement. It was rarely ever still. "So what if I am?"

Acxa held his gaze, before she looked away, off towards a wall. "You shouldn't. They're fine."

Keith blinked, for a second unsure if he heard her right. It sounded a lot like Acxa was trying to make him feel better, which didn't match up to what he expected from her at all. And yet... it sort of did. She hadn't told Lotor about his panic attack either, and she had admitted that she cared about him, if only begrudgingly as a fellow general.

He'd just assumed she'd meant that she didn't want him to inconvenience them by dying or something like that. He'd had plenty of people in the past tell him they cared, only for it to turn out to be lip service. He hadn't even stopped to entertain the idea that Acxa might not be one of those people.

"How do you," Keith swallowed, "-how do you know?"

"Lotor's simulations showed that there was a chance that those traveling between realities could potentially briefly lose consciousness." Acxa explained. "We also left a drone behind."

Keith let those words sink in. They were fine. The paladins were fine. _Shiro_ was fine. After weeks of worrying, it felt like a weight being lifted off of his shoulders.

It didn't lift by much, but it lifted. He still didn't have confirmation that _was_ Shiro in the black lion. He didn't know who else it could be, but he knew replacing a paladin was possible. Allura and the red lion were proof enough of that.

"Why are you telling me this?" Keith asked, uncertain. Was this some kind of test?

"I just thought you should know." Acxa said, her expression nearly unreadable. "I didn't want it to impact your performance."

Huh. That seemed... vague, somehow. Tilting his head, he studied Acxa, but he couldn't glean anything from her face. "I... thanks?"

"Don't mention it." Acxa said shortly, then frowned. "What exactly is it that you were doing?"

"Meditation." Keith said, recalling how Ezor hadn't known what it was either. He guessed it wasn't big among the Galra. "It's uh, a relaxation technique. From Earth."

He expected Acxa to just leave it there, but to his surprise, she made her way towards him. He tensed up a bit as she did, suddenly realizing that he was in a slightly vulnerable position- before he relaxed. He was almost positive that he had more value to Lotor alive than dead, especially now that he had the raw material for those ships he wanted to build. Presumably, he wanted him to pilot one of them, though he hadn't said as much.

That was all he had managed to gather about Lotor's plans thus far- that he intended to use ore from the comet to build ships of his own. Somehow they would bring peace to the Galra Empire and by extension, the universe, though he didn't know exactly _how_ \- or if Lotor was even telling the truth. He had to admit, if his desire for peace was just an act, then it was one he was pretty devoted to. Maybe he _did_ want peace, just on his terms.

But he knew enough to know how dangerous something like that could be.

"Can you teach me?" Acxa asked, sitting down across from him.

Keith's brows knit together, staring at her in puzzlement. "You want me to teach you how to mediate?"

"Yes." Acxa said. "Is that a problem?"

"No." Keith said. "I just didn't think the Galra were big on mindfulness."

"They're not." Acxa admitted. "But I didn't think you were either."

He bristled at the comment, opening his mouth to protest- before he snapped it shut. He guessed he probably hadn't exactly given off the best impression. "It's not my strong suit. Shiro tried to teach me back on Earth, but I could never get the hang of it."

"Shiro?" Acxa asked- and Keith instantly went tense again. He hadn't meant to talk to her about Shiro. "You mean the black paladin?"

"Yeah." Keith said shortly, vaguely grateful she at least hadn't called him the Champion. Shiro hated that name. "That's the one."

Acxa peered at him curiously. "You make it sound like you were close."

Keith turned away, his tail flicking in annoyance behind him. This wasn't a subject he wanted to get into, not with _Acxa_ of all people. She probably just told Lotor everything he said. If he didn't already know how close he was to Shiro- or how close he used to be, he wasn't about to tell him.

"Look," he said instead, "-do you want to learn how to mediate or not?"

Acxa narrowed her eyes. "If you don't want to talk about it-"

"I don't." Keith said. He didn't know if she was trying to fish for information or not, but it felt like it, and he didn't like it.

Acxa studied him a second longer, before she mimicked his posture. "Teach me then."

For a moment, Keith debated turning her down. He had no reason to teach her, or to spend any time with her at all. He wasn't trying to make friends. He didn't _want_ to make friends. All he wanted to do was survive this.

But part of him also recognized that he was painfully lonely. He'd gotten a taste of friendship with the paladins, and now that that was gone, he found that he just couldn't go back to being alone the way he was used to. It was just like when Shiro had disappeared, but worse.

"Fine," he finally said, "-just know that I might not be the best teacher."

"I'll keep that in mind." Acxa promised.

Huffing, Keith curled his tail around his legs. His bayard had long since resumed it's new default shape, so he hitched it back onto his belt without a second thought.

He didn't trust Acxa, but he trusted her not to kill him. He could chafe at it all he wanted, but he was one of them now. This was no longer the enemy's ship, as it had been when he'd first boarded it- but it wasn't home either.

He didn't know where home was anymore.

* * *

He jolted awake, flung out of sleep in the throes of a half-remembered nightmare.

Panting heavily, Shiro's right hand dug into the fabric of what he dimly recognized to be his sheets, his other resting over his heart. It was still pounding wildly, cold sweat plastering his hair to his neck as he tried to get his thoughts under control. He'd had an awful dream, which was nothing unusual for him, but the subject matter had been completely different from what he was used to.

Even now it was fading from his memory, but what he could recall of it was enough. He had been back at the Garrison with Keith, at the Kerberos launch. He didn't remember what was said, just remembered the color of Keith's eyes changing, pupils vanishing to give way to a sickly shade of Galra yellow, as hands reached out to grab him...

He felt a hand on his shoulder and yelped, reflexively activating his right arm. Whoever it was quickly scrambled back, and slowly he realized that it wasn't some Galra- it was Pidge. Pidge, who staring warily at his arm, like she half expected him to lunge at her with it.

Heaving a long sigh, he deactivated his arm, letting it hang limply by his side. He was in his quarters, but he had no memory of actually getting there.

"Shiro?" Pidge asked, still a bit cautious. She was dressed in her casual clothes, though they looked a little more rumpled than usual. "You okay?"

Drawing in a deep breath, Shiro nodded. "Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Bad dream?" Pidge asked, sounding sympathetic.

"Something like that." Shiro said, giving her a weak smile.

He didn't know why he'd had a dream like that. His stomach churned with guilt, thinking back to the image of Galra eyes superimposed over Keith's otherwise familiar face. They'd looked monstrous, making Keith look monstrous- not at all like the kid he'd grown so fond of.

Why would he even _have_ a dream like that?

"Yeah, I guess you would." Pidge said. "I mean, after what Allura told us..."

Pidge's words sent a cold spike of fear through him, unwanted memories bubbling to the surface. He'd nearly forgotten in the fog of sleep, but Allura _had_ told them all something, hadn't she? Once they were all back on the bridge after escaping from that awful alternate reality, she'd...

Suddenly, he understood his nightmare better.

Pidge's face fell. "You forgot, didn't you?"

"I need to talk to Allura." Shiro said, throwing off his covers and getting to his feet. He stumbled a bit, suddenly realizing he was actually a bit warm.

"Shiro, no." Pidge said, putting herself in front of him. "You still have a fever. You need to rest."

"But Keith-"

"Please, Shiro." Pidge pleaded. "I can get Allura for you."

Heaving a sigh, Shiro relented. He didn't want to make Pidge upset- or more upset. Sinking back down onto his bed, he just nodded, finding himself at a loss for words.

Pidge heaved a sigh, apparently relieved that he'd listened. "Just- just stay here. I'll get Allura."

"Thanks." Shiro said. "I appreciate it."

Pidge managed a weak smile, before she darted out of the room, presumably to find Allura. Closing his eyes, Shiro leaned back, resting his head against the wall. His memories were trickling back now, including things he didn't want to remember- like Allura telling them about Keith.

 _"We have uncovered intelligence that suggests that Keith has begun working with the Galra."_

Opening his eyes, Shiro got to his feet, making his way over to the small chest where he kept his things. Cracking it open, he dug through it a bit until he found what he was looking for- a familiar photograph, one that was faded in places from being folded in on itself so many times. He had found it in Keith's room while cleaning it, in one of the pouches of his belt, and had recognized it right away.

It was the photo they'd taken together at the Kerberos launch.

Keith was smiling awkwardly at the camera, in spite of his attempts to smile naturally. He'd never quite picked up the trick of it in all the years he'd known him- he had a bunch of other photos back home of Keith with even worse, more awkward smiles, some of which actually turned around and ended up becoming downright horrifying.

He treasured every one of them.

After Keith had disappeared, he found himself as host to an almost endless parade of regrets. One of them had been the fact that he had no photos of Keith with him in space, so he'd been strangely grateful to find this one. As much as it had felt like a violation of Keith's privacy, he'd taken it, with every intention of returning it to him once they found him.

Well, they'd found him. He just had no idea if he'd ever be able to give it back- or if he'd even want it back. He couldn't imagine Keith turning on them, turning on _him_ , but...

...but thoughts of Akira still haunted him.

There was a light knock on the door, and Shiro hastily folded the photo up, tucking it under his pillow. "Come in."

Allura entered a few seconds later. Far from the well groomed princess he was used to, her hair was a mess, and she was still in her paladin armor. It was testament to how important she thought this was that she hadn't even paused to freshen up a bit. He found a small amount of comfort in that- in the knowledge that nobody was taking this news well, or easily- it showed in the way Pidge's eyes darted towards him before she ducked out of the room, giving them both some privacy.

Keith might not have been here long, but at least he'd left behind some kind of impact.

"Pidge said you wanted to see me." Allura said.

"I did." Shiro nodded. "I should probably apologize for fainting."

"You have nothing to apologize for." Allura shook her head. "You had just gotten out of the pod, and yet I still ended up putting you through quite a lot. I should be the one to apologize."

Shiro opened his mouth to tell her that it was okay, but stopped himself. Nothing about this was okay, but that wasn't Allura's fault.

"I don't suppose there's a chance I misheard you." Shiro said.

"I am afraid not." Allura shook her head. "I had hoped that we would have good news for you when you woke, not... not this."

"This isn't your fault, Allura." Shiro told her. "I'm just... I'm not sure _what_ to believe."

Allura frowned, taking a seat on his bed and inviting him to do the same. "What do you _want_ to believe?"

"I _want_ to believe in Keith." Shiro said firmly, taking a seat next to her. "I promised him once that I would never give up on him. That's a promise that I intend to stick to."

"Then you should stick to it." Allura simply said. "For what it is worth, Keith could have called the red lion to come to him a number of times now, but he has yet to do so."

"You think it would go to him?" Shiro asked.

Allura nodded. "It has refused to fight him before. It likely would."

Shiro felt something ease slightly in him at that. He knew what it was like to have to fight someone for control of a lion. To hear that Keith hadn't attempted to reclaim the red lion was encouraging, and it should have been enough to let him believe in him without any hesitation. He wanted to- this was _Keith_ he was talking about. If Keith were the one in his shoes, he knew he would believe in him without hesitation. He _should_ be able to do the same thing back.

But he couldn't shake the image from his nightmare. He tried to tell himself that was all it was- just a nightmare. It didn't have to _mean_ anything. If Keith had joined the Galra Empire, joined Lotor, then he had to have a reason- he just couldn't figure out what that reason was.

Did he think they would reject him for being part Galra? He hadn't even _known_. Or did he think- did he think they wouldn't want him back, now that he...

He didn't actually know what Keith looked like now, he realized. Allura had mentioned his appearance had changed, become more Galra, but it wasn't like he'd actually seen it himself. He grimaced, thinking about what else she had told them- that she had reason to believe that he'd been forced to fight in the arena, and by _Haggar_ no less. It stood to reason that if his appearance had changed, that she had something to do with it.

"You said," Shiro began, uncertain at first, "-you said you had pictures."

Allura blinked, then frowned. "I do, but... are you sure you want to see them?"

"No." Shiro confessed. "But I need to."

Allura held his gaze for a second longer, before she heaved a sigh. "Very well then. I had a feeling you would ask."

She stood up, moving to the table by his bed. She hadn't even noticed the discarded pieces of his paladin armor strewn on top of it- a quick check downwards revealed that he was only dressed in the black undersuit that went with the armor. They must have stripped him of it after they had brought him here. He couldn't say he wasn't thankful- sleeping in full armor probably wasn't that comfortable.

Which he was starting to realize was exactly what Allura had done. She nearly reached out to grab one of his gauntlets before she looked down with a start, as if only now remembering that she had never changed out of hers. Heaving a long sigh that he sensed was meant to be private, she closed her eyes, drawing in a long breath as if to steady herself.

She sat back down next to him, accessing the computer stored in her armor's gauntlet, presumably linking it to whatever system she needed to access to retrieve the image data. Somehow he didn't think it was something she had just lying around the Castle's databanks, not when she had been keeping it a secret from the past two weeks.

"I have to warn you," Allura began, "-the change is... considerable."

"Seeing as Hunk and Lance mentioned something about a tail, I kind of figured." Shiro said, trying to smooth over his own apprehension. Would he even be able to recognize Keith? Lance and Hunk hadn't, and they had actually _met_ him- which was another thing he couldn't stop turning over in his head.

Why hadn't Keith said anything? He'd had the chance to reach out to them, but he hadn't. Did he think they wouldn't believe him? Or was he just ashamed of his appearance?

Did Lotor have something on him? Or even worse- Haggar.

Allura gave him a weak smile, and then brought up the visuals.

He almost _didn't_ recognize him at first. If it wasn't for the familiar cut of hair, he might not have. The color was different- he found himself subconsciously reaching up to brush a hand against his forelock, wondering if it was experimentation or just trauma that had turned Keith's hair white. It didn't help that he couldn't remember where he had gotten his own smattering of white from- though in Keith's case it was more than just a _smattering_.

It was a shock of vivid white contrasted against purple skin- though when he squinted and looked closer, he realized it _wasn't_ skin. It was _fur_. Keith's face- and presumably the rest of him, underneath his armor- was covered in purple fur, but that wasn't what caught the most attention. It wasn't even the fuzzy ears, though those did remind him too much of Sendak for him to be completely comfortable.

No, what really caught his attention were the eyes.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, something had clicked. Keith's eyes had always been unique- an odd blue-gray color that looked purple in the right light. Knowing that he was part Galra, they suddenly made sense- along with a lot of other stuff, sure, but it was the eyes that had clicked for him right away, even while he had been grappling with other much more tumultuous thoughts.

Those were gone now.

In their place was dimly glowing Galra yellow, lacking any visible pupil. He tried to take some comfort in the fact that their overall shape was the same, but couldn't.

Allura was right- the change _was_ considerable. When he looked, he could still find traces of the Keith he recognized- the shape of his jaw, the set of his mouth. He was definitely taller, but his body shape was the same- lanky, but with muscle. Maybe if he saw him in person, the similarities would be a little more obvious, but in the ripped security cam footage sent to the Blade by Keith's own mother, of all people, they were harder to make out.

The differences were just... they were a lot. He hadn't even _touched_ on the aforementioned tail yet, and was the footage just bad, or did he really only have eight fingers now? He wasn't sure he even _wanted_ to find out where the missing two had gone.

He wanted to look away. Seeing Keith- even a very different Keith- wearing Galra armor was tough to take. The fact that his bayard had taken on the exact same shape as Zarkon's had his stomach twisting in knots. Doubt bubbled up inside him, wondering if the reason he hadn't tried to ask Hunk and Lance for help wasn't because he was ashamed of being Galra, but because he'd _wasn't_ in trouble.

What if he was just as Galra on the inside as he now looked?

No. He refused to believe that. Keith was Keith. The only reason he would have changed was if he'd been _forced_ to change.

Which was another terrifying possibility, but Shiro tried not to think about it. Unsurprisingly the idea of Keith somehow having been brainwashed was not the least bit comforting.

So instead, Shiro burned the images into his mind. Even if- _when_ \- they got Keith back, he wasn't sure that this was something they could fix. If any part of the reason why Keith was doing this was because of shame, or fear of rejection, then he wanted to be sure he knew that wasn't true. He could look even more Galra, be even less recognizable, and he'd _still_ be Keith to him.

"Thank you." Shiro said, finally tearing his gaze away. "I appreciate it."

"Think nothing of it." Allura said, switching his gauntlet off and letting out a faint yawn. "You should probably try and get a bit more sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

She didn't have to clarify why- he already knew. They hadn't exactly had a chance to discuss Keith, seeing as he'd fainted. Which, now that he thought about, was actually pretty embarrassing in hindsight.

"You're probably right." Shiro said. "Guess I should thank you for bringing me back here."

"And Hunk." Allura said. "He's the one who caught you."

Making a mental note to apologize to Hunk later, Shiro nodded. "You should probably try and get a bit more sleep yourself. I should probably apologize for waking you up."

"I wasn't sleeping very well anyways." Allura admitted, a faint tint creeping to her cheeks as she very pointedly tried not to look down at her armor.

"Bad dreams?" Shiro asked.

"Bad dreams."


	22. keith

Here's the next chapter! The paladins talk things through regarding Keith like reasonable people after the previous chapter's less than stellar fallout. Shiro drops some bombshells about Keith, and everyone realizes just how little they actually knew about him. Been awhile since I wrote a one scene chapter, always kind of weird when I do because I keep doublechecking to make sure I didn't miss a line for a scene cut but there are no scene cuts lol.

Anyways, thanks for reading! Until next time!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter twenty two**

 **keith**

* * *

He'd slept miserably the rest of the night.

A quick glance around the table told him that he wasn't the only one. Even Lance and Hunk, famous among them for having the best sleeping habits, had slight bags under their eyes. Pidge hid hers with her glasses, but he'd still caught sight of them. Even Coran looked a bit worse for wear, which was the real surprise.

Allura, when she finally arrived, looked no better- though still better than she had last night. Her hair wasn't nearly as frazzled as it had been, and she had changed out of her armor, instead opting to wear the gown that they all had been seeing less and less of, ever since she had taken up the mantle of the red paladin.

Shiro bit down on his lip, the thought bringing fresh pain. When Allura had first taken on the role, they had all assumed that it would be temporary. That Keith would get the red lion back once they found him. Well, they'd found him, but now he wasn't sure if he would ever get his lion back- or even if he _should_ , some awful, loathsome part of whispered.

Sitting down at the head of the table, Allura glanced around those assembled. Her already present frown only deepened as she took notice of what he already had- that nobody was quite sitting next to anyone else. Everyone was keeping their distance, the news about Keith having set them all on edge.

Heaving a sigh, Allura's shoulders slumped. He couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for her. This was exactly what she had been trying to _avoid_ , but he guessed there never was any real chance at avoiding this exact fallout. Without any clear information as to why Keith had joined Lotor, they could only draw their own conclusions. It was only natural that there would be some butting of heads.

"I should start this meeting with an apology." Allura began. "I thought it would be for the best if I waited until Shiro recovered to bring this matter to everyone's attention. I can see now that I was mistaken, and while I do not expect forgiveness, I hope that we can at least continue working together in spite of my deception."

"It was not," Allura began, staring down at her hands, for once at a lost for words, "-it was _never_ my intention to cause you pain. _Any_ of you."

Her words were met with an uncomfortable silence, and even Shiro found that he didn't quite know what to say. The two weeks that Allura had spent lying to the rest of the paladins just didn't effect him in the same way, seeing as he'd been asleep for practically all of it. This wasn't his place to interject.

"It's not your fault, Allura." Lance finally said. "I don't think we would have handled this well, no matter when you decided to tell us."

"Thank you, Lance." Allura smiled at him, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I should probably apologize too." Pidge said. "You were just trying to think of the team. I was just-"

"Angry?" Allura finished.

"Yeah." Pidge frowned. "I just thought- I thought Keith was the one person I could relate to when it came to my missing family, and now he's..."

She grit her teeth, clenching her fists. "I don't _understand_. How could he just switch sides like that? After everything they did to Shiro, how could he even _think_ about joining them?"

Despite eyes falling on him, Shiro stayed quiet. He wanted to hear where everybody stood before he said anything. He was close to Keith, but deep down, he knew that there was always the chance that same closeness might blind him to the truth. He felt a bit guilty thinking that- he had promised Keith that he would never give up on him, and he still meant that, but... he did at least have to _consider_ the possibility that Keith had given up on _them_.

"Maybe it's not that simple." Hunk said quietly. "Maybe he doesn't have a choice."

"Or maybe he was never with us from the beginning." Lance said.

"No." Allura said firmly. "If that was the case, I doubt the red lion would have ever chosen him to be its paladin."

"How can you be so sure?" Lance asked.

"Because its previous paladin was my father." Allura said simply. "Who Zarkon murdered."

A hushed silence fell over the room, as they all took a second to process that information. It wasn't exactly new- they were all aware of who the red lion's original paladin had been. They had just never thought about it in this context before.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Shiro watched as Coran reached out a hand, placing it over one of Allura's. He gave her a reassuring smile. Shiro turned away, sensing that it was meant to be private, in spite of the public nature of the meeting.

"Well... maybe he didn't know about it." Lance finally began. "Maybe he was like, a sleeper agent or something."

"That makes even _less_ sense." Pidge argued. "If he were some kind of sleeper agent, wouldn't they keep him here? Besides, his mother was with the Blade of Marmora, not the Galra Empire."

Lance frowned, slumping in his seat. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"If you don't mind me asking Lance," Coran spoke up, "-why have you been so insistent about the possibility that Number Four might never have truly been one of us?"

"I don't know." Lance admitted, staring down at his feet. "I guess it's easier. I mean, he spent all that time with us, fought with us side by side. I was even kind of starting to _like_ him. I don't want to have to think about him betraying us."

"He might have a reason." Hunk offered. "Or maybe... maybe he just doesn't know what he's doing. Maybe Haggar brainwashed him or something."

"Allura?" Pidge asked, looking towards her. "You've dealt with Haggar before. Could she?"

"It is not impossible." Allura admitted. "Though I cannot imagine that she would make him anything less than the perfect soldier were that the case. According to Krolia's report, he seemed rather... _standoffish_. He had to be chided into following standard military protocol."

Lance snorted. "That sounds like Keith."

It did. He wasn't sure if that made him feel better or not. On one hand, it suggested that Keith hadn't been brainwashed. On the other... with the possibility of Keith having been brainwashed off the table, they were left to face the possibility that he really _had_ chosen to join Lotor- to join the Galra Empire- out of his own free will.

"Shiro?" Hunk finally asked, looking up at him. "What do you think?"

Shiro sighed. He wished he knew. What he wanted to think hadn't changed from last night. He really _did_ want to believe in Keith. But as Voltron's leader, he couldn't let blind faith put them- and the rest of the universe- in danger.

He was walking a tightrope, and for once, he had no idea how to stay balanced.

"I think," Shiro said carefully, "-I think we should review the facts from the ground up."

His words were met with silence, before Allura inclined her head. "I believe Shiro is correct. There is still much that we simply do not know, so rushing to conclusions is unlikely to do us any favors."

Pidge frowned. "You've had two weeks to think about it. What could we come up with that you didn't?"

"I am not as familiar with Keith as the rest of you." Allura said. "You may be privy to some insight into him that I am not."

"I mean... not really?" Lance said. "He kind of kept his distance, both here and at the Garrison. I kind of thought he was a jerk, actually."

"I didn't even _know_ him before Voltron." Pidge admitted. "I mean, Matt mentioned him once or twice, just never by name. I didn't even realize they were the same person until after I saw how close he and Shiro were."

"He laughed at one of my jokes once." Hunk mentioned, twiddling his thumbs. "I don't think he was _trying_ to keep his distance. I just think he didn't really know _how_ to approach us."

"Keith has always been... awkward with other people. He didn't exactly have the most normal childhood." Shiro said, slightly hesitating to speak. He knew how much of Keith's past was a touchy subject for him, so talking about it without him around didn't sit right with him. But if he was going to convince the others that there had to be a reason why Keith was doing this, he knew he had to.

"Guess it's kind of hard to have a normal childhood when your mom's an _alien_." Lance quipped.

"Keith didn't know that." Shiro said firmly. "He never knew anything about his mother."

God, his mother. The revelation that she was both Galra and a member of the Blade of Marmora had floored him. He should have expected it after Akira, but for some reason it had still managed to take him completely off guard, even though he had more reason than anyone to know about Keith's less than visible oddities. The stuff in his medical records, his physical results from the Garrison... in hindsight, everything made sense now.

He'd also be lying if he said he wasn't tempted to seek out this _Krolia_ himself. He wanted to find her, to ask why- why did she choose to leave Keith behind, why didn't she _stay_. There were only two things stopping him- the first of which was the fact that he didn't know which base she was stationed at. The second of which was that, even if he knew, the more logical part of him understood that he couldn't put her cover at risk. A paladin of Voltron storming the base to ask its ranking lieutenant questions about her son would definitely raise a few eyebrows.

But he _wanted_ to. Her absence had ended up putting Keith through a lot of pain, and even though it wasn't something he talked about, he hadn't needed to for Shiro to know just how badly he had internalized some of the stuff that other kids- and even some adults- had said about him growing up. That he wasn't worth anything, that even his own mother hadn't wanted him- those things had stayed with Keith, stuck with him even as he got older.

He wondered how _Keith_ had reacted to learning he was Galra.

"You don't think he knew he was Galra." Allura stated.

"No." Shiro shook his head. "I don't think so."

"I mean... it's possible." Pidge said. "If she left when he was young enough, he wouldn't have any memory of her. And he _looks_ human enough."

"Or he did." Pidge corrected herself.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Hunk asked. "I mean, the Keith Lance and I saw in the Weblum looked _nothing_ like the Keith we knew. How did that even happen?"

"As I mentioned before, we have reason to believe that Haggar took a personal interest in him." Allura stated. "Beyond that, I cannot say exactly what she might have done to so drastically change his appearance."

"Maybe she just waved her hands and _poof_ ," Lance said, making a motion to indicate magic, "-she brought out the Galra."

"It's possible." Allura agreed. "But it feels as if there is more to it than that."

"What do you mean by that?" Pidge asked.

"Do children on your planet typically resemble their parents?" Allura inquired.

"I mean... usually." Pidge frowned, before a flash of recognition crossed her face. "Wait, are you saying Keith doesn't resemble his mother?"

Allura merely shook her head. "I believe he resembled her more prior to his transformation, than he does now. If Haggar simply made him look more Galra, it stands to reason that he would resemble her _more_ , not less."

"Wait, hold up," Lance cut in, "-you make it sound like you've actually _seen_ him."

"I- yes." Allura blinked, surprised by the statement. "Did I not mention the pictures? I thought surely I-"

"No, you did." Pidge cut her off. "You just didn't show them to us."

"Oh." Allura frowned, briefly glancing in Shiro's direction. "Yes, of course, you're right, now that you mention it. I apologize. I am afraid I'm still a bit frazzled from yesterday. I can mostly certainly show them to you, if that is what you would like."

Her question was met with silence, the three cadets glancing between each other, silently asking if they did. Lance and Hunk had already seen Keith, just not with his helmet off. Pidge, on the other hand, hadn't seen him at all- she'd only heard secondhand descriptions of him, both from her fellow paladins and from the Puigans.

Shiro frowned, his brows knitting together. Coran had only briefed him vaguely on Puig, but he imagined it was going to come up in the discussion at some point. It was hard to imagine that Keith could have contributed to an effort to reclaim a planet in the name of the Galra, but maybe he just didn't have a choice.

Eventually, one by one, the paladins silently nodded. Allura nodded back, before she tapped the table, a screen flickering to life in the center of it. The images that she had shown him either last night or early this morning- he had no idea how long he had slept- sprung up, and it was all Shiro could do to keep himself from looking away.

If one of the reasons Keith had chosen this path was due to fear of rejection, then he owed it to him to get used to his new appearance. This was Keith- his brother, the same scrappy kid who had impressed him with his sim scores and then stolen his car. Just because the outside had changed, it didn't mean anything on the inside had. He should know that better than anyone.

Except... his insides _had_ changed. Fundamentally, he was still the same person, but deep down he knew that the person who had left for Kerberos, and the person who had crashed on Earth a year later were still two very different people.

Keith had been through the same things he had- and worse. He couldn't even imagine how that might have changed a person.

Biting down on his lip, Shiro tried to push the thought aside, but he couldn't. It wasn't about whether or not Keith might have changed to the extent that he would willingly betray Voltron, though he'd be lying if tried to say it wasn't on his mind. No- the real reason he couldn't ignore the possibility was for the same reason he couldn't ignore his own changes. Their source was trauma, and trying to pretend like Keith could have come out of that situation without his fair share of it was doing his brother a disservice.

When he had come back changed, Keith had given him a silent offer of support. Just like he owed it to Keith to adjust to his physical changes, he owed it to him to adjust to any mental or emotional changes he might have undergone, whatever they might be.

"Ugh," Lance broke the silence that Shiro hadn't even fully noticed, "-how is it that after everything that's changed, he _still_ has the mullet?"

" _That's_ what you're focusing on?" Pidge said. "He's like seven feet tall and covered in fur!"

"I suppose I'll have to reconsider my height ranking if he ever comes back." Coran muttered, half to himself. "Everyone other than Pidge will have to be demoted by a rank."

Shiro blinked, looking across the table at Coran. He sounded almost like he expected Keith to return, something which even he was still doubtful about. It wasn't a matter of whether or not he would accept him back- of course he would, but a matter as to whether or not Keith would even _want_ to come back.

"You really think he'll do that?" Hunk asked. "Come back, I mean?"

Lance just huffed. "Why would he? He seemed pretty chummy with the other Weblum Galra. _Acxa_ or whatever her name was."

"I'm just saying we shouldn't dismiss the possibility." Coran said. "Never underestimate what the knowledge of there being a home waiting for you to come back to can do. We have to consider just how much things have changed around here in between the time Number Four was taken and now."

"Coran's right." Shiro agreed. "We're working _with_ the Galra now, and not just against them."

"Now that you mention it, we still thought there weren't any good Galra back when Keith was captured." Hunk said. "Maybe knowing that he was part Galra really freaked him out. And with how he looks now..."

Hunk shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe he felt like he couldn't come back."

"Lotor could have exploited that." Pidge suggested. "I mean... all of his other generals are half Galra. Depending on the state of mind Keith was in when he sprung him from Haggar's prison, he could have convinced him that they were the only ones who would accept him."

"Sure," Lance said, "-or maybe after months of us leaving him to rot in Galra prison, he started to hate us instead."

Shiro's breath hitched in his throat, his mind momentarily blanking. He hadn't even thought of that. Or to be more accurate, he hadn't _wanted_ to think that. But as fervently as he wanted to deny it, he couldn't pretend that Lance didn't have a point. As days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months... who was to say that Keith wouldn't have become increasingly desperate, especially as the situation began to worsen.

They _hadn't_ abandoned Keith. They had searched everywhere for him, for months, trying to pick up any trace of the missing red paladin. But for Keith, locked away in a dark cell, forced to fight in the arena week after week as his body slowly began to change, it had to have felt like that. He wondered how long he had managed to cling to his promise that he would never give up on him, before those words ended up bringing him nothing but grief.

He'd kept his word. He'd _never_ given up on Keith.

But what if he thought he had?

Would that be enough to convince Keith to join the Galra Empire? On its own, probably not. But with the knowledge of his heritage, and his body having been changed as much as it had... he didn't want to think as Keith being bitter and resentful, but he'd already gone through so much, more than any one kid should. There had to be a tipping point somewhere.

The Keith he knew would never willingly join the Galra. But a Keith that had become disillusioned and hateful, one that felt betrayed by the person he trusted the most... he might.

"But we didn't." Pidge insisted. "We looked for him. We just couldn't _find_ him."

"Yeah, but does _Keith_ know that?" Lance asked. "I mean... he didn't even try to talk to us in the Weblum. We were _right there_. We could have helped him."

"Assuming that is true," Allura began, "-then our main objective should be to attempt to win his trust again."

"That... won't be easy." Shiro hesitantly admitted. "Keith has enough trouble trusting people as it is. Once that trust is broken, it's not that easy to get back."

"Why is he like that anyways?" Lance asked. "I mean, even back when we formed Voltron together, there was always this _distance_ between us and him. Kind of like with Pidge, before she told us that she was a girl, but like... worse."

Shiro heaved a sigh, staring down at his hands. "Like I said before, Keith had a difficult childhood. He was in foster care for a long time after his father died."

"Wait," Pidge cut him off, "-Keith's father is dead?"

Shiro blinked, looking up at her. It hadn't dawned on him that none of them knew that Keith was- or _had_ been, he guessed, since his mother was still very much alive- an orphan. He'd assumed that it was common knowledge, that James would have at least mentioned it in passing, before he realized that he didn't exactly share the same social circles with Lance, Hunk, and presumably Pidge. If anyone knew, it was the cadets he hung out with most frequently- which back during his time with the Garrison had been Rizavi, Kinkade, and Leifsdottir.

"He died when Keith was still young." Shiro said. "Firefighter."

A look of comprehension washed across table, even across the faces of the Alteans. He guessed the job of a firefighter and its inherent risks was more or less a universal constant.

"I didn't think..." Lance trailed off, his brow knitting together. "I just thought... I thought he had a family. You're telling me mullet's a _foster kid_?"

"He doesn't exactly advertise it." Shiro said. "It wasn't something he liked people to know."

"What is a _foster kid_?" Allura inquired. "I'm not familiar with the term."

"It's when the parents of a child dies, and there's either nobody left to take care of them, or nobody who wants to take care of them." Pidge said, grimacing slightly at her own explanation. "So they become wards of the state, basically, until- or _unless_ \- someone adopts them. If no one does, then they age out of the system when they turn eighteen."

"Keith's eighteen." Hunk weakly supplied. "I always wondered why he was living out in that shack, but maybe... maybe he didn't have any other place to go."

"Keith became a ward of the Garrison after he was accepted into the pilot program." Shiro explained, leaving out the fact that it was because the foster family taking care of him at the time didn't want anything more to do with him.

"Adam- that is, my fiancee," or _ex_ -fiancee, but he didn't want to complicate things more than they already were, not if he didn't have to, "-Adam and I became his guardians."

"I thought you and Adam broke up." Pidge said. "I mean, Matt only mentioned it once, so I might be wrong, but-"

Shiro shook his head. "No, you're right. Things got complicated between us because of the Kerberos mission, and after that, I became Keith's sole legal guardian."

It hadn't been like Adam had _completely_ vanished from Keith's life, but he'd definitely become increasingly less involved. Things might have turned sour between them, but it wasn't like Adam suddenly started to _hate_ Keith because of their breakup. He'd had nothing to do with it. Neither of them had wanted to put him through the experience of being in the middle of relationship issues, so they had each found their own way of avoiding that. He'd dealt with it by never talking about Adam, and Adam had dealt with it by keeping his distance.

In hindsight, it may have not been the best way of dealing with things. In their efforts to prevent Keith from feeling like he was in the middle of things, they may have done just that. Ordinarily, he would have thought that Adam would have taken Keith in after the failure of the Kerberos mission, or at least found him a place to stay, but maybe he had ended up putting so much distance between them that Keith hadn't even thought to ask.

"So when you were declared dead, there was nobody left for Keith." Hunk said, visibly pale. "And then he got kicked out of the Garrison... oh man, he really _didn't_ have anywhere else to go, did he? That shack... that shack was all he had."

"That... that's _awful_." Lance whispered. "All this time... I had no idea."

"Still, that doesn't explain why he decided to join the Galra." Pidge said, though there was a slight waver to her voice that hinted that she wasn't as unaffected by what she'd just heard as she was letting on. "Even if he thought we abandoned him, that's still a pretty big leap to make. I mean... he saw what they did to the Balmerans. The Galra nearly destroyed their home."

"He didn't join the Galra." Allura corrected. "He joined Lotor."

"Does it make a difference?" Pidge asked.

"I believe so, yes." Allura said. "You have to remember, around the time Keith went missing from his cell, Lotor was still in exile."

"The Weblum _was_ before we fought Zarkon." Hunk agreed.

"Point taken." Pidge conceded. "But Lotor's sure as heck not an exile _now_. Emperor pro tem is a pretty big step up from that, and Keith's _still_ with him."

"Plus, he attacked us." Lance pointed out.

"Not to mention the fact that he helped take back Puig in the name of the Galra." Pidge added. "Whatever his reasons are, I don't think there's any way we can get out of this discussion without acknowledging the fact that Keith's betrayed us."

"But Puig was a trap, right?" Hunk hesitantly asked. "To lure us out."

"That doesn't make it better." Pidge said. "Especially not since it was _Keith_ in that fighter."

There it was. He'd expected it to come up, but Shiro had to admit, he still wasn't totally prepared for it. Putting Puig aside, the idea that Keith could have attacked his fellow paladins... even if nobody had gotten seriously hurt, it was still hard to hear.

"I don't suppose you have the footage from that fight?" Shiro hesitantly asked, almost wishing the answer was _no_. The only thing seeing the footage would do was confirm it.

Allura flinched, her fingers twitching slightly. "Actually, I deleted that data from the Castle's systems."

Pidge leveled a hard look on her. "You _what_?"

"I just thought..." Allura heaved a sigh, shaking her head. "I suppose it doesn't much matter now what I thought. I still saved a copy of it, though."

"Well, let's see it then." Lance said.

Allura nodded, using the Castle's systems to remotely access her paladin armor. He didn't even know they could _do_ that- something to keep in mind, he guessed. A few seconds later, she had brought up several screens worth of footage, from two different perspectives- one he guessed was from the Castle, and the other was likely from the red lion.

The fighter in the footage was easy to make out, given that it was different from all the rest. It was the same type as the one Lance and Hunk had said escaped them at the Weblum, and he guessed that Keith was probably piloting that one too. He thought back on the way the move the pilot had used to escape had reminded him of something Keith would do, and cursed himself- that had to have been his gut instinct talking, but he'd ignored it. Maybe if they had found this all out sooner...

Well, he couldn't say for sure what would have happened. Maybe something would have changed. Maybe nothing would have. It just felt frustrating that there had been this whole previous encounter with Keith, only for none of them to realize it.

Watching the footage, there was no doubt in his mind- the pilot of the royal fighter was Keith. Closing his eyes, Shiro fought back a shudder. It was one thing to hear about it. It was an entirely different thing to actually _see_ it.

"We can stop, if you like." Allura told him. "You don't have to watch this."

"Thanks." Shiro told her weakly. "But I'm fine."

It was a lie, just not one anyone was willing to call out. Drawing in a deep breath, Shiro squared his shoulders, opening his eyes to watch the last of the battle play out. For having spent several months confined to a prison cell, Keith's skills clearly hadn't faded any.

Which brought with it a spark of hope.

He had mentored Keith for _years_. What tricks he hadn't taught him, he'd watched him come up with on his own. Nobody knew Keith's level of skill better than he did.

Which is exactly how he knew he wasn't giving it his all.

There were multiple points that he could pinpoint where Keith could have done damage- or in the few instances he'd actually hit something, could have done damage a lot _worse_. And while maybe this had all been a test and not a serious attack, he was positive that even if it was, Keith would have still taken it seriously- _especially_ if he'd begun to hate them.

But he hadn't.

Unfortunately, all this told him was that the situation was complicated. Keith feeling as if he'd been abandoned by them and having grown to hate him and the rest of the paladins was actually the _simple_ explanation- well, that and brainwashing. That was also pretty simple. Anything else? That was bound to be more complicated.

They needed more information, and they just didn't _have it_.

From across the table, Allura locked eyes with him. "You seem to have realized something."

"If Keith was being serious, he could have done serious damage to all four of you." Shiro said. "But he didn't. I'm not so sure he hates us."

"So if he doesn't hate us, why is he fighting against us?" Lance asked.

"That I don't know." Shiro admitted, shaking his head. "I think we need more information."

"Sadly, that is something we simply do not have." Allura frowned. "Kolivan may not have any other high ranking spies within Central Command, but those he does have would have at least heard as to whether or not Lotor had returned. Unfortunately, ever since accepting his role as emperor pro tem, he's been keeping his distance."

"Is there any chance we could get a spy into Lotor's ranks?" Shiro asked.

Allura shook her head. "The Blade of Marmora has been attempting to do as much for thousands of years. Any spy that gained access now would likely be used against us."

Shiro frowned, racking his brain. There had to be something that he was missing, some stone he hadn't turned yet...

"Wait," Hunk began, sounding unsure of himself, "-what if that's it? What if Keith's a spy?"

"For the Blade of Marmora?" Allura frowned. "No. Kolivan would have surely told us."

"No, not for Kolivan." Hunk shook his head. "What if... what if he's doing this on his own? I mean, Lotor knew about that trans-reality comet. He has to be planning _something_ , and whatever it is, it's probably big."

"You think he's working with Lotor to gather intelligence on him?" Pidge asked.

"I mean, yeah, I know it's out there, but..." Hunk trailed off.

"No." Shiro cut him off, swallowing. "No, it's not."

It was reckless and dangerous, but also _exactly_ like something Keith would do. He actually felt a bit angry at himself for not having considered it before.

"If he's a spy, then why hasn't he tried to contact us?" Lance asked.

"Maybe he doesn't know how to." Shiro said. "Keith might make a lot of his plans in the spur of the moment, but he can also be pretty cautious when the situation calls for it."

He didn't mention that it was because he had learned how to the hard way. He didn't talk about his time in foster care that often, but he knew that he'd had foster parents who had used his status as a discipline case to monitor him extremely closely. Nothing had been private- not his phone, not his computer, and even his room had been searched regularly. The fact that Keith was still in possession of his knife even after all of that was proof enough that he had found a way around it.

Ironically, it was _exactly_ that type of experience that would allow him to become a good spy.

"I believe Hunk and Shiro might be on to something." Allura said. "It would explain why he has yet to call the red lion to him, and why he would have gone so far as to sever their bond from his side. It was all so Lotor couldn't use him to gain access to the red lion."

"Wait," Lance looked up in surprise, "-he did _what_?"

"Yeah, this is the first I'm hearing about this." Pidge said.

Allura blinked, looking around the table, before it dawned on her that she hadn't told anyone that particular fact yet. "Right before our assault on Central Command, I felt his bond with the red lion breaking. At first I thought it was because he was dead, but now I realize that he did it on purpose."

"Gee," Pidge rolled her eyes, "-anything else you've kept from us?"

"Pidge." Shiro warned.

Allura shook her head. "It is quite alright. I cannot change the fact that I opted to hide things from you, and continued to do so. If Pidge- or any of you- wish to be mad at me, that is fully within your rights."

"But hey," Hunk quickly cut in before the awkward silence could return, "-at least this proves that Keith hasn't actually betrayed us!"

"I don't know, Hunk." Lance frowned. "I mean, I'd like to believe it, but it's not like we have any actual _proof_."

"His bond with his lion-"

"-could just be a means to trick us." Pidge cut Allura off. "We can't ignore the chance that Lotor might be using Keith was some part of a larger trap. Willingly or unwillingly."

Shiro tensed. He hated to admit it, but Pidge had a point. There was no doubt that Keith was in an extremely dangerous situation right now. One wrong step, and he could end up in an even worse situation than the one he was in before.

Which meant they _had_ to find a way to get him out of there.

It wasn't like he didn't appreciate what Keith was doing for them, but it didn't change the fact that he was putting himself in danger. And frankly? He just wanted Keith to come _home_. He didn't care what form he took, he just wanted his brother back, safe and hopefully mostly sound.

"Pidge is right." Shiro said. "Which means we have two points of focus right now. Find the comet, and stop Lotor from using it, and find Keith and bring him home."

Thankfully, doing one would lead to the other. Find the comet, and they were sure to find Keith.

And this time, Shiro didn't intend to let him go.


	23. spy

Here's the new chapter! It roughly covers the little snippets we see of Lotor and co during _The Journey_ , although untangling the timeline for that one was a mess. As near as I could figure it, everything with Kuron was a "flashback" of sorts while the stuff with Lotor was what was taking place currently if that makes any sense. Anyways, at least I don't have to worry about dealing with Kuron in this fic so I guess it's kind of a moot point in the end. That said, thanks for reading!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter twenty three**

 **spy**

* * *

"Any sign of it letting up?"

"Not even close." Ezor lamented, groaning as she flopped down dramatically next to him. "Ugh. I knew coming here was a bad idea. Going to any planet that has _acid rain_ is always a bad idea."

"Look on the bright side," Zethrid observed, "-at least the atmosphere on this one is _breathable_."

"I don't get it." Keith muttered, half to himself. "Why would the Galra Empire even _build_ an outpost on a planet like this?"

"Trust me, you haven't seen anything yet." Ezor told him with a roll of her eyes. "They have a whole colony located on a planet that's orbited by an _active radiation belt_. Acid rain is nothing compared to that."

"Why would they even-?" Keith began to ask, his brows knotted together. "You know what, nevermind. I'm not sure if I want to know."

"It's to prove the technological and biological superiority of the Empire." Acxa answered anyways. "By putting outposts and on some occasions, whole colonies, on planets that most would deem as uninhabitable, it proves that the Galra are a force to be reckoned with."

Keith arched a brow, glancing her way. "You sound like you know a lot about it."

"One of my first positions was on such a base." Acxa remarked.

"Oh yeah, the one with the awful death storms, right?" Ezor asked. "In the middle of the ocean, surrounded by horrible sea monsters the size of an average cruiser?"

Judging from the expression on Acxa's face, he was going to guess that was the one. That definitely sounded worse than a little acid rain.

At least they had been able to find shelter before the storm broke, but this would have all been a lot easier if they had been able to enter the outpost normally. But given that their mission here was one that was supposed to be strictly off the record, they couldn't exactly access it through official channels. That left them with no choice but to land their ship on a remote area of the planet, where it wouldn't be detected by the base's sensors, and approach on foot.

He could just make out the particle barrier that kept the base safe from the acid rain. It probably wasn't that much farther, and while their armor was designed to protect them against even the harshest elements of space, he wasn't willing to push his luck when it came to acid.

They had holed up in a cave for the time being, planning on waiting out the storm. According to Acxa, they didn't usually last for longer than fifteen minutes.

"Are you sure this cave will hold?" Zethrid asked, peering out at the storm raging outside.

"Positive." Acxa said. "The rock formations on this planet are resistant to the acid rain. We'll be fine."

"Alright, but if that stuff starts eating through the rock, I'm blaming you." Zethrid said.

"Noted." Acxa replied.

Keith just frowned, glancing over towards Narti. She and Kova were hovering towards the back of the group, deep as the small cave would allow them to go. Honestly, he kind of felt like joining them- his instincts were trying to tell him to get as far away from the stuff as he possibly could. He was just opting to ignore them.

It wasn't often that Lotor sent all five of them out together. Whatever intelligence this base had, he must have really wanted it.

Maybe it had something to do with the ships that he was building. Once they had gotten hold of the comet, Lotor had wasted no time in beginning to construct ships from their ore. Judging from the speed of the process, he was going to guess that he'd had the plans in place for awhile- and therefore had known about the trans-reality comet for awhile- but hadn't been able to safely retrieve it.

At least, not until Voltron came along.

His tail twitched a bit at the thought. According to Galran intelligence reports, they had freed another planet a few days ago, not long after they had returned from the alternate reality, or whatever it was that had been on the other side of that rift. He'd been relieved to note that the preliminary report had indicated that the Champion had been sighted, which meant Shiro was both alive and in good shape if he was leading a mission.

He'd found himself paying even closer attention to the intelligence reports that they regularly received from Central Command. There were regular imperial news broadcasts too, but most of them were propaganda, and rarely mentioned things like Voltron taking back a planet from Galra control. He watched those too, but for different reasons.

The first was to make sure he blended in a little better. Nobody on Lotor's ship cared much about the official broadcasts, but they did come up every now and again whenever he was sent out to other bases, usually on a more official capacity than right now. As a citizen of the Galra Empire- a phrase which still made him cringe, even if he'd accepted it as truth- he was expected to know these sorts of things.

The second... well, it was always useful to keep tabs on the official propaganda. In that respect, it wasn't that much different from when he'd kept tabs on the Garrison's media briefings about the Kerberos mission, even if he'd known that they were all bullshit.

"Ugh, I _hate_ waiting." Zethrid lamented. "Why didn't we just burst into the base again?"

Acxa heaved a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Because we don't want people to know we were here."

"Why couldn't we just kill everyone and make it look like the work of rebels?" Ezor asked. "Just seems like it would be a lot easier."

"And more fun." Zethrid added.

Keith said nothing to that, even if he was starting to understand that most of the rank and file were just conscripts that had been fed nothing but propaganda all their lives. It still didn't change the fact that most of them were willing to carry out horrendous orders, most of whom probably didn't even think twice about them.

"Because then every other base in this quadrant would increase their security." Acxa explained. "According to the information Prince Lotor received, they're hiding a piece of the teleduv somewhere in this quadrant. We just don't know where."

Keith's ears perked up, looking across the cave towards Acxa. "The teleduv?"

Acxa's gaze briefly flicked towards him, before she nodded her head. "The one the paladins used to transport Central Command away from the main force."

He'd definitely heard about that. He couldn't even imagine how massive something like that had to have been, considering how massive Central Command was. He'd _also_ heard that it had been destroyed.

"I thought it self-destructed?" Keith asked.

"It did." Acxa said firmly. "But apparently at least one piece of it survived intact. That's what Lotor's after."

Keith just frowned. "But he's the Emperor now, right? Why doesn't he just ask for it?"

"Probably for the same reason he hasn't informed old what's-her-face about the comet." Ezor observed. "He doesn't want _daddy dearest_ to wake up and take away his new toy."

Keith frowned, tilting his head. He already knew that Lotor didn't want Haggar to know about the comet, or about the ships he was building from it, but he didn't know _why_. He claimed that it was all part of his master plan- one that would eventually lead to peace and prosperity for all, not just the chosen few within the confines of the Empire.

Keith, naturally, wondered about that.

Although... if this base was holding information about something as important as a piece of the teleduv, what other kinds of information did it have? Maybe he might even be able to find something about Pidge's father. He'd had no luck so far, so he was starting to think that wherever Sam Holt was being kept, it wasn't somewhere that was available on the public network, even to someone of his rank.

That was... concerning, but he was pretty sure if Sam was dead, there would be some record of that somewhere. The Galra Empire might not keep very through records while prisoners were alive, but they sure kept good ones for the dead. He had no idea why, and frankly, it was one of those things that he just didn't _want_ to know.

"Oh hey," Zethrid said, "-the rain's starting to let up. _Finally_."

Keith peered out the cave, noticing that she was right. The downpour wasn't half as heavy as it had been even a minute ago.

"Good." Acxa said. "Once the storm's passed, we resume the mission. Remember- in and out. We don't want any trouble."

* * *

"I thought I said," Acxa began, clearly exasperated, "-no trouble."

Keith merely shrugged, withdrawing his knife from the still sparking sentry. "Oops?"

Acxa just heaved a sigh, making a motion towards Zethrid. She just scooped the sentry up, hauling it into the database room with the five of them.

"Any sign of it having sent out an alarm?" Ezor asked, poised on her toes as she peeked over Acxa's shoulder to peer down at the console.

"Thankfully, no." Acxa said.

"Darn." Zethrid said. "I was hoping for some excitement."

"That's not what we're here for, Zethrid." Acxa reminded her. "Just keep a sharp eye out. Narti, come give me a hand."

Keith watched as Narti made her way to the forefront. The actual room itself was fairly small, so it was a bit cramped. Every wall was lined with a console, all of which seemed to have direct access to the internal databanks of the outpost. They hadn't exactly made many stops along the way, but he'd seen enough to gather that this wasn't exactly your normal imperial base. There was research taking place here, mostly into munitions- thankfully, nothing like he had seen back on Ranveig's base.

He still didn't like to think about that.

Keeping an eye on the other four, Keith edged his way to one of the consoles. Nobody was paying much attention to him, so he took this as his chance. Behind his back, he pressed a button on his gauntlet, syncing it up to the internal network of the base. Maybe he wasn't a tech genius like Pidge, but he'd spent enough time watching her work to pick up at least a _few_ basic tricks. Internal security on the base appeared low anyways- maybe they thought that nobody would be stupid enough to try and infiltrate a base located on a planet where acid rained down from the sky.

Keeping an eye on Acxa and Narti, in case they noticed anything, Keith ran a download. He could sort through the information on his own time later.

"So? You find where this telescope thingy is?" Zethrid asked.

" _Teleduv_." Acxa corrected. "And yes. Let's move."

Quickly disconnecting his download, Keith could only hope he'd gotten something good from it. Even if there wasn't any information about Pidge's father, maybe he'd at least gotten some info about what it was that they were doing at this outpost- and intelligence like that could be extremely useful to Voltron and its allies.

He just had to find a way to give it to them.

"Wait," Ezor whispered, "-what do we do about the sentry?"

Heaving a sigh, Acxa shot him a slight glare. He just shrugged. As far as he saw it, he had saved the mission. If they'd waited any longer, it would have raised an alarm.

"They probably won't notice one sentry missing." Acxa said. "Just... bring it with us and toss it out somewhere on the way. Let the acid take care of it."

"In that case," Zethrid said, thrusting the damaged sentry towards him, "-you take it. You're the one who broke it."

Keith had to scramble to catch the sentry, which was... well, lighter than he had expected it to be. He wasn't sure what surprised him more- how strong he'd gotten, or the fact that he kept managing to be _surprised_ by that fact. He would have thought the novelty would have worn off by now.

Guess not.

"Fine." Keith grumbled, tossing the sentry over his shoulder like it was a sack of rice. "Let's just go. I want to get off this planet."

He _really_ wanted to get back to the ship so he could go over the data as soon as possible. Over the past few months, he'd gone over his room with a fine tooth comb, ensuring that it- and his armor- were free of any bugs. Which didn't stop him from checking again every time he returned to the ship from an extended absence- if there was one thing his time in the foster system had taught him, it was how dangerous getting complacent was.

"Count me in." Ezor said. "Maybe next time Lotor can send us somewhere nice."

"Don't get your hopes up." Acxa said. "According to the data, the teleduv piece is located in the Ulippa system."

Ezor groaned. " _Please_ tell me it's not the planet with the ice worms."

"Okay," Acxa said simply, "-I won't tell you."

Thankfully, Ezor's loud groan managed not to give them away. The Ulippa system did sound familiar, though.

"Isn't that where Lotor sent Throk?" Keith asked.

Ezor perked up, the shift in her mood almost automatic. "Oh, you're right! I'd forgotten all about him! Maybe we'll get the chance to crush him!"

Keith just arched a brow, saying nothing to that. While he might have a few doubts about killing the rank and file, somehow he couldn't find it in himself to be all that upset if a Commander like Throk suffered... well, whatever Ezor and Zethrid had planned for him. He barely even _liked_ being Galra, and he still managed to take offense at his comments about 'halfbreeds'.

As far as he saw it, the teleduv piece being located on Throk's base was just karma at work. Not that he believed in karma, but if he did, this would be a pretty fair case for it.

Of course, there was always the chance Lotor could have planned it that way, but somehow he didn't think he would have sent all five of them out all this way if he already knew where the teleduv piece was. If it was just him, then maybe- there were definitely missions he'd been sent on that he was convinced it was just a case of Lotor wanting him off the ship. But all five of them?

No, this time it really was just a coincidence.

"So... ice worms?" Keith asked.

Putting a hand on his free shoulder, Ezor gave him a serious look. "Trust me, they're the worst."

Frowning, Keith said nothing to that. Frankly, he failed to see how _anything_ could be worse than the Weblum. It had taken him several days just to get the stench off of his armor. Acxa had it even worse- she'd been stuck in the belly of one for nearly half a day before Lance had gotten to her. No wonder she wasn't exactly in a hurry to shoot him.

Then again... the more he got to know the generals, the more he was begrudgingly forced to accept that Acxa just wasn't that kind of person. Sure, she was loyal to Lotor- almost blindly so- but she wasn't... she wasn't like some of the other Galra he'd met. She was calm, rational- and honestly didn't even seem to like fighting that much. It wasn't like she hated it, she was just... _neutral_ , he guessed.

It made her surprisingly easy to talk to. Maybe in another universe, they might have actually been friends.

Just not in this one.

* * *

He forced himself to stay for the debriefing this time, not wanting to arouse suspicion.

Granted, he was also actually interested in the subject for once. Whatever Lotor was building the comet ships for, they were obviously a means to an end for him, rather than a realized plan in their entirety. Lotor seemed to have several plans in the works, but he hadn't been able to establish yet if they were all separate from each other, or if they were all related.

Something told him that whatever the piece of the giant teleduv was for, it was likely related to the comet ships.

Progress on said ships was going smoothly. They were being built within Lotor's flagship itself- he didn't seem inclined to allow the comet to leave his sight. Probably too paranoid.

Still, he didn't linger long once the debriefing was done. Making his way back to his room, he quickly rechecked it for bugs. Finding none, he collapsed on his bed, his tail curling up in his lap as he brought up the information he had gathered during their mission. He'd downloaded a fair amount of it in the limited time he had, so going through it all seemed like it would take time.

Might as well start now.

Bringing his legs up onto his bed, he crossed them in front of him. The tip of his tail twitched as he perused the download, having to pause for a second to dig out the datapad that he'd downloaded the Galran language log onto. He didn't even have to get up to do it- he was getting more used to using his tail for tasks, mostly from watching Narti use hers in a similar manner. It was actually kind of helpful now that he had gotten used to it, like having a third arm.

He plucked the datapad off his desk with it, setting it down on his lap. Still using his tail, he booted up the language program, searching through it for an unfamiliar symbol. His Galran had gotten better, but the downside of going through military data like this was that they were filled with all sorts of obscure technical terms. He didn't want to risk missing something important just because he didn't understand it.

He still read it a lot better than he spoke it. Apparently he had an accent- a very glaring one. He didn't notice, but then again, he doubted he would.

He was so engrossed in the contents of the outpost's database, that he barely noticed the hours tick away. Other than getting up once to use the bathroom and retrieving a ration bar from his not insignificant stash, he barely moved. He was so preoccupied, he barely even noticed it when the ship suddenly changed course.

He did, however, notice the knock on the door.

Ears perking up, Keith quickly shut down the download, stowing away the datapad. Crossing the room, he sniffed the air, catching a whiff of Ezor's scent. Pressing his hand against the access panel, he opened the door, revealing that his nose was once again correct.

"Oh good, you're here!" Ezor said. "Lotor says to gather in the central hangar."

Keith frowned, tilting his head. "Are we leaving for the Ulippa system already?"

"Ugh, don't remind me." Ezor said, rolling her eyes. "No, we just picked up a spy."

"A spy?" Keith asked, his brows knitting together. "Like, a rebel, or-"

"Nope!" Ezor chirped. "Imperial! Looks like that nasty old witch really _doesn't_ trust Lotor. Guess she's still mad we stole her favorite test subject."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith bit back a growl. "I'm not a test subject."

" _Of course_ you're not a test subject." Ezor said, rolling her eyes. "You're just a big grump. Now come on, you're going to make us miss the interrogation! That's the best part!"

Frowning, Keith trailed behind Ezor. The walk to the central hangar was a quick one, and by the time they had arrived, a group of sentries was already dragging the spy from his damaged ship. He was surprised to find that it was a ranking officer, rather than a member of the rank and file like he'd expected- he guessed even they sometimes ended up being used for Haggar's dirty work.

The thought of the witch still made his blood boil. He'd gotten used to his body again after so long of feeling like a stranger in it, but that didn't change the fact that if he ever got the chance, he would rip Haggar's heart out without a second thought for what she'd done to him. It was _her_ fault that he was in this situation- that he had to be separated from his friends, and probably couldn't even _be_ friends with them anymore.

"General Raht." Lotor coolly observed. "What an unexpected surprise. I hadn't received word that we were to expect company. There must have been an error in communications."

To his credit, General Raht remained remarkably cool. "I had orders. Haggar fears that you-"

"-have strayed from my duties?" Lotor finished, almost seeming to scoff. "I rule in the way I see fit. Who is she to criticize me?"

Keith hung back, trying not to draw attention to himself. The General glanced his way regardless, narrowing his eyes slightly before fixing his attention back on Lotor. He wasn't surprised that Haggar was sending spies to watch him- it was clear that the witch didn't fully trust the prince. The fact that he had helped him escape only seemed to contribute to their pre-existing tension.

"Regardless, you should at least return to Central Command and-" Raht began.

"-and what?" Lotor asked, cutting him off again. "Stay there, and allow myself to be made into one of the witch's puppets? I think not."

"What should we do with him?" Zethrid asked, slamming her fist into her empty palm in a universal gesture of wanting to fight. "Toss him in the brig? Maybe beat him up a little?"

"It's been awhile since we shot anyone out of the airlock..." Ezor suggested.

To Raht's credit, he didn't even flinch. He might be restrained by sentries, but he still held his head high. Victory or death.

"Now, now, General Raht was only following orders." Lotor said. "We should not be so quick to punish him for his devotion to the Empire."

"So no airlock." Ezor deflated.

"I'm afraid not." Lotor apologized, the edge of his lips quirking upwards in amusement. "I have a better idea."

Lotor's gaze briefly flicked in his direction as he said that, causing Keith to stiffen. He wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

"I'll give you a chance." Lotor said. "Defeat my general in combat, and I will let you go free. Fail, and well... I am quite certain I need not spell out for you what will happen should you fail."

"I accept your terms." Raht said, an underlying note of confidence in his voice that no one missed. "Which one will you have me fight?"

Keith's breath hitched in his throat, frozen stiff. He knew exactly who Lotor was about to suggest, but that didn't make it any easier when he glanced his way, a bemused expression on his face. That was all it took to make him feel like was back in the arena again, waiting for his next opponent to come through the gates, the sounds of jeers and cheers blended together...

"Keith," Lotor said, "-you have a history with the witch. It will be you."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith snapped back to himself. "No."

"It is not a request." Lotor said simply.

Baring his teeth, Keith took a step forward. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Acxa edged closer, her hand hovering over her pistol. Coming to a halt, Keith clenched his fists, tearing his gaze away from Lotor. He didn't want to do this- it was one thing to fight someone on the battlefield, but to fight someone in a match like this... it just made him feel like he was a gladiator again.

Not that he'd ever been a _gladiator_ , exactly. He'd just been one of Haggar's wild beasts.

And just like then, he wasn't allowed the choice to refuse.

"Fine." Keith said. "I'll do it."

He didn't look at him, but he was sure Lotor was smiling.

* * *

The actual match was to take place in the training room, which didn't quell his earlier feelings in the least. If anything, it just intensified them.

Lotor and the other generals were watching from somewhere, he knew. The training room didn't have an observation chamber like the training deck on the Castle did, but he doubted that they were far. Aside from a handful of sentries, he was alone with General Raht, who was still handcuffed and restrained- but not for long, Keith knew.

He drew his bayard, taking comfort in its familiar weight. This didn't have to go like his matches in the arena, Keith told himself. He had a weapon now. And Raht wasn't a beast either- this was just a fight, a proper match, not whatever his arena bouts had been. He tried to take comfort in that.

"So," Raht began, watching him in the same way one would watch a wild beast, "-Lotor expects me to fight his tamed beast."

Keith felt his fur bristle at the remark, but forced himself not to react. That was exactly what Raht wanted. Instead he stalked the opposite end of the room, watching carefully as the sentries undid Raht's handcuffs, one of them handing him a hefty blade to match that of his own. He took it with his right arm- an artificial one, he noticed. It didn't look like it had any hidden tricks, like Shiro and Sendak's but he couldn't let his guard down.

"Nothing to say?" Raht asked.

"Not to you." Keith said.

"Fair enough, I suppose." Raht said. "You never were much of a talker in the arena."

At the mention of the arena, Keith stiffened, grip on his bayard tight. It shouldn't surprise him that someone Haggar trusted to carry out her orders against their emperor- even a temporary one- would have seen him in the arena. But this wasn't the first time that he'd dealt with a ranking Galra who had, nor would it be the last.

It was the first time he'd had to face one in battle, though.

He knew Lotor must be planning something, but he didn't have the luxury to think _what_. Raht was clearly an experienced fighter. He, on the other hand, was self-taught, and still wasn't totally confident he wouldn't try and fall back on his old ways, back from when he was a lot smaller. One wrong step, and it wouldn't be just the match he'd lose.

"Didn't know you could fight like a proper Galra, though." Raht observed.

Gritting his teeth, Keith's tail lashed behind him in anger. "Why don't you test me then?"

In a flash, his bayard changed forms, transforming into a sword. Raht eyed it, but made no move to approach. He had no intention of making the first move, Keith realized. He was trying to force him into doing it. But what choice did he have? The longer it took for the match to start, the more the tension would wear him down. It had to be now.

Lunging forward, Keith put his faith into the hope that he moved faster than Raht. It wasn't ill-placed- although Raht was able to deflect his sword strike, he'd seen the jerky way he'd raised his sword. He hadn't expected him to be as quick on his feet as he was. Good.

Breaking away, Keith lunged again. This time Raht met his blade, rather than deflecting it, locking the two of them into a stalemate. All too quickly, Keith realized why- he might be faster than him, but Raht was a lot stronger than him. Grunting, he watched as Raht's blade closed in, inch by painful inch, before he broke the stalemate himself, leaping back to put some distance between the two of them.

He'd gotten strong, but he wasn't _that_ strong.

He had to find his way to use his speed to his advantage- but that was easier said than done. Fighting the sentries was one thing, but fighting an actual serious opponent proved what he feared- that speed was an advantage that best served someone who was small. Unfortunately, he and Raht were about the same size.

"What's the matter, paladin?" Raht challenged. "You seemed more spirited in the arena."

Growling, Keith lunged towards Raht. He'd just have to work out the kinks as he went along.

Angling his sword for Raht's face, the Galra easily deflected the blow. But Keith wasn't done yet- because speed wasn't his only advantage. Drawing his knife, he used the momentary opening that blocking his sword strike had provided him with to strike at a weak point in Raht's armor with it. Although he saw it coming, he didn't react quite fast enough, his knife coming away with a fresh coating of purple blood.

Leaping back, Keith grinned. If he could just keep this up-

Unfortunately, while he had managed to land the first blow, all it had done was make Raht angry. The General lunged towards him, aiming for his head- a blow that Keith was only barely able to avoid. He wasn't able to avoid the next one, Raht's knee slamming into the pit of his stomach with enough force to send him sailing halfway across the room, knocking the wind completely out of him.

Grunting, Keith stood up quickly. Reaching for his bayard, he realized with a shock that he'd dropped it, leaving him with just his knife. From across the room, he saw Raht smirk, not leaving him any time to recover as he practically leapt across the room towards him, sword aimed to bisect him. He managed to avoid it, rolling out of the way, but there had been enough force in that single blow to leave a mark in the floor of the training room.

Oh, he suddenly realized, Raht had been toying with him before.

He might have been a terrible spy, but as a fighter, Raht was more than competent. They were a bad match- his speed was no match for Raht's training and sheer power. If he didn't think of something quick, he was going to get himself killed.

The thought sent a burst of adrenaline through him, and for a second, all Keith could see was red. It quickly cleared, just in time for him to see Raht charge towards him. There was no way he was going to be able to deflect any of Raht's blows with just his knife. He couldn't face him head on.

But maybe he didn't have to.

It took him a fraction of a second to come to a decision. Exhaling, he gripped his knife tighter- right before he threw it. It was a maneuver that Raht clearly didn't see coming, and if there was one downside to having all that power, it was that it was awfully hard to stop his momentum once he'd gotten started. Unable to dodge or even deflect, the knife struck true, lodging itself right in his skull, where his ear connected to his head.

Howling, Raht dropped his sword. Wasting no time, Keith dashed in, grabbing his knife back, separating Raht's left ear clean from his head as he did so. As Raht howled again, clutching his missing ear, Keith felt himself grin, taking in the familiar metallic scent of blood.

Only he wasn't grinning- he was baring his teeth. The scent of blood threw him back, back to the arena, cheers and jeers blending together as he stalked some wounded beast, fresh blood dripping from his claws as he lunged forward to make the finishing blow...

A sharp, high-pitched sound filled his thoughts, piercing through the red haze that had crept up around the edges of his vision. With a chill, he realized exactly what had nearly happened- he'd almost lost himself again, like he had in the arena. That was exactly what he had been afraid of, and now it seemed that his worst fears had proven to be true.

Even now, he was still one of the arena's beasts.

Staggering back, Keith's breath hitched in his throat. He didn't want that. All he wanted was to be _free_. But it seemed even though he had physically left the arena behind, mentally, he was still there.

Something heavy slammed into him, and he realized abruptly that it was Raht's fist- the mechanical one. His moment of shock had left him vulnerable, and while Raht was wounded, he wasn't down and out yet. The Galra General was now right on top of him, and abruptly, Keith realized that he'd been pinned to the floor. Raht's fist was raised, all of that power about to be devoted fully to shattering his skull.

Like he had so many times in the arena, Keith blacked out.

* * *

When he came to, Raht was dead.

His entire right arm had been separated from his body, his neck snapped, eyes bulging nearly out of his head. He wasn't sure how, but somehow Keith managed to stagger to his feet, collect his bayard and knife, and stumble out of the training room.

Lotor was waiting for him.

Keith could only stare at him. He knew how he must have looked, covered in blood that wasn't his. He still felt sick to his stomach, the knowledge that he had killed someone second only to the knowledge that he'd had no control over himself when he'd done it. He couldn't even remember what had happened, but he didn't need to. There were enough clues for him to figure it out.

"I'm sorry to have to put you through that." Lotor lied. "I didn't expect-"

"Bullshit." Keith cut him off, his eyes flashing with anger that frankly, he didn't actually feel. He just felt tired- tired and disgusted. "You knew exactly what you were doing when you picked me."

Lotor merely frowned, but said nothing. He clearly hadn't expected him to have the presence of mind to call him out so bluntly. Frankly, he was surprised to find that he did. He wanted to run away- to run back to his room, take a hot shower until he got all the blood off, and then sleep straight through the next few days. This was exactly what he had been afraid of- that the changes that Haggar had wrought upon him were more than just skin deep, that in some respects, she had already succeeded in turning him into the beast that she wanted him to be.

But he couldn't do that. If he did that, then not only would Haggar win, but so would _Lotor_. He had picked him for a reason. He wanted to use this to further his dependence on him- or _create_ said dependence. Ranveig had called him Lotor's pet, and Raht had called him a tamed beast. And maybe that was exactly what Lotor wanted- not for him to be a beast, but to be tame, subservient, _loyal_ \- to win his trust by presenting himself as his only option. That this was the only place for someone like him.

Well, he wasn't going to fall for it.

Even if it was true, some part of him knew. Shiro... he could never show this side to him, or any of the paladins. They'd be horrified, and rightly so. He knew _he_ was.

Keith drew in a breath, attempting to maintain some dignity. "If that's all you needed me for, I'm going back to my quarters."

He didn't wait to see if Lotor would stop him. He brushed past Acxa and Narti, the generals starting to come out of the room adjacent to the training room. He kept his eyes high, so that he didn't have to look at their expressions, to know what they thought after seeing him like that. He still couldn't remember what had happened after he'd blacked out, and frankly, he didn't want to.

It was only once that he was safe in the privacy of his own room that Keith allowed himself to collapse. He realized he was shaking violently, everything that he had been holding back until now coming out all at once. Shutting his eyes, he tried to calm himself down, but it was harder than he wanted to admit.

Still, he managed somehow.

Hauling himself to his feet, he stripped out of his armor. He'd clean it later, but for now he just cast it aside in a heap, where it wouldn't be visible from his bed. He stumbled into the shower, turning on the hot water. He just stayed there for a few minutes, letting the blood work its way off his fur, before he reluctantly pulled himself away. Drying off, he changed into some clean clothes- not armor, he didn't think he could stand to wear armor for awhile- and collapsed on his bed.

What he _wanted_ to do was curl up and go to sleep. But he knew he couldn't. He couldn't afford to crumble.

So instead he drew in a deep breath, plucking his datapad from the table with his tail. He froze as he did so, the ghost of a sensation coursing through him, and suddenly he knew just what had snapped Raht's neck. Shuddering, he forced himself to complete the task, setting his datapad down in his lap.

He couldn't go back to the paladins, but he already knew that. This changed nothing.

Anyways, at least he knew what he was capable of now. He just had to work on controlling it. And the first step in doing that was refusing to let Lotor get what he wanted from him.

His objective hadn't changed, even if he had.


	24. trail

Done! The chapter that everyone has been waiting for... or at least a pretty solid prelude to it! Honestly, I've been anticipating these next few chapters probably just as much as you guys have, and I'm the one writing it, lol. I never thought it would take this long to get here, especially since that alternate reality arc took way longer than I thought it would, but it was totally worth it (and I still kind of want to write a fic set in that alternate reality)! As always, thanks for reading, and see you next update!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter twenty four**

 **trail**

* * *

Halfway into going through the data he'd obtained from the base, Keith fell asleep.

It sounded absurd after what he'd just been put through, that he could sleep so soundly, but he woke feeling refreshed, if not a little stiff. He must have been more exhausted than he thought.

Groaning, he uncurled himself from the ball he'd curled up into in his sleep. Rubbing his eyes with his palm, he frowned, making a slight face as he caught sight of the discarded heap of armor. He hadn't forgotten what had happened yesterday, but he'd sort of been hoping that it was all just a bad dream.

He hoped a lot of things lately were just bad dreams.

(They never were.)

Heaving a long sigh, Keith rubbed the back of his neck. He still didn't want to have to deal with his bloodstained armor, but he couldn't avoid it forever. Better to get it out of the way as fast as possible then.

Grabbing the chest plate, he hauled it into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he let it run, using a rag to work off the dried blood. The iron tang stung his nose, threatening to throw him back to yesterday, or even further, back to his arena days. Dimly, he wondered if Shiro ever had this problem, then laughed it off. He didn't doubt that he'd been traumatized by his ordeal, but at least he'd never blacked out like he had in his fight with Raht. Frozen to the spot maybe, but he'd never just flipped some kind of killing switch.

Shiro was too good a person for that. He, on the other hand, apparently wasn't.

He couldn't even blame it on being Galra, not after having spent so much time with Acxa and Narti. Neither of them seemed to fit the idea he had in his head about the Galra being vicious and bloodthirsty- and it wasn't just them, either. He'd met plenty of vicious commanders, generals, and lieutenants, but the foot soldiers... some of them almost felt like normal people. Like in a different world, maybe they would have peaceful jobs, like accountants or space dog trainers. He couldn't just write it off as being due to the general's mixed blood.

This was just him.

Gritting his teeth, Keith pushed the thought aside. Dwelling on it wouldn't change anything- he just had to try and make sure it didn't happen again.

He huffed slightly, checking over the chest plate. It was now mostly free of blood, no more obvious purple stains. Setting it aside, he returned to his room to grab another piece, pausing as his gaze lingered on the single gauntlet he had left on his bed. Thankfully it had avoided the blood spatter, otherwise he probably couldn't have stomached using it. He'd almost finished going through the data he'd downloaded from the base, but he probably should double check what he had been reviewing before he'd drifted off just to make absolutely sure he hadn't missed anything.

He couldn't go back to the paladins anymore, but he at least owed them that. Owed _Pidge_ that, whose pain he understood all too well.

He bit his lip, suddenly struck by the thought that Shiro must be going through the same kind of pain that he'd gone through when the fate of the Kerberos mission had been announced. Except Shiro knew he wasn't dead, just captured, and that made all the difference.

He just couldn't tell if it made things better or worse.

Cleaning off the rest of his armor, Keith collapsed back on his bed, making no move to put it back on. Instead he laid on his side, angling his head so that he could glower at the tail flicking so innocently behind him.

"This is all _your_ fault, you know."

His tail, of course, didn't respond. Huffing, Keith turned his head, staring at the wall. He knew he was sulking, that he should just get over it and move on, but he couldn't. It wasn't like he didn't know how fucked up he was- this was just more proof, that was all.

He just... he guessed part of him had wanted to think that he had escaped the arena scot-free. It was stupid of him in hindsight, downright naive, but he just- he didn't want to admit that Haggar had _won_.

Gritting his teeth, Keith shoved himself up off the bed. No. She hadn't won. Not yet. She'd tried to turn him against the paladins, and she'd failed. That was the most important thing. Pitying himself just wasn't like him, and he wasn't about to start now.

Striding over to where he'd tossed his armor, he put it on. It still smelt faintly of blood, but he'd manage. He had to. He'd come too far to fall apart now. If he was just going to do that, he might as well have accepted Lotor's offer to just drop him off on the nearest habitable planet, living out the rest of his days in complete isolation.

But that wasn't the choice he'd made. He'd made the choice to keep fighting. He intended to stick with it.

Stalking over to his bed, he plucked the discarded gauntlet off it with his tail. It was still his, still a part of him, and he refused to be made afraid of it. Tugging the gauntlet on, he powered it up, bringing up yesterday's download. As he thought, he'd gone through the bulk of it already, and though he doubted he'd find anything of interest in the last five percent of unchecked data, it never hurt to make sure.

Which wasn't to say that he _hadn't_ found anything interesting- there was some interesting stuff in here about the munitions experiments they had been running on the base. It was a little too complex for him to understand it all, but from what he _did_ understand, it seemed as if it would be vital information for the Coalition. It just wasn't what he was looking for. What he was looking for was-

Keith's fingers froze, his breath hitching in his throat. He thought he'd seen...

Slowly, he went back a file, still holding his breath. He really didn't think it was possible, and yet... there he was. The exact person he'd been looking for.

Commander Sam Holt.

Suddenly keenly aware of where he was, Keith's eyes darted around the room. It was empty, of course- but in a moment of panic, he realized that he'd been so distraught after his fight with Raht, that he'd forgotten to check for bugs. Swearing under his breath, he closed the download, hurriedly doing a sweep of the room to make sure nothing had been touched since the last time he'd been in here. Like so many others, it was a survival skill that he'd picked up in foster care, where his guardians would permit themselves to search his things while he was out.

Finding nothing out of place, Keith heaved a sigh, allowing himself to relax. Right. Everyone had been watching him fight.

He bit down on his lip, not sure what to make of that thought. It made have actually been better if Lotor had his generals snoop around his room while he fought Raht. At least then they wouldn't have seen what had happened after he blacked out. Which, incidentally, he _still_ couldn't remember.

He wasn't sure if it was a blessing or not.

It wasn't like he was trying to make _friends_ , but... at least they treated him like he was a _person_. He'd heard the way other Galra talked about him, those who had seen his fights in the arena before. He wasn't sure he wanted the other generals to think of him that way too.

" _Focus_ , Kogane." Keith muttered to himself, sitting back down on his bed. He brought up the file again, the face of Pidge's father again leaping out at him. He'd never spoken with the man much back at the Garrison- mostly just a few words in passing. It wasn't like they'd never met, given that he was Shiro's commanding officer on the Kerberos mission and all, but they just... didn't talk, not really. That was more his fault than Commander Holt's- he hadn't exactly been the most social person around.

In hindsight... he kind of regretted that.

He regretted a lot of stuff from the Garrison, actually.

(Not punching James Griffin in the face though. That he'd never regret. It had gotten him in a heap of trouble, but it had been _worth_ it.)

Fumbling with his belt pouch, he dug out a data chip he'd hidden in the lining. He'd picked up a few the last time Lotor had sent him out for supplies. There were spare data chips all around the ship, of course, but he wasn't stupid enough to use something that Lotor could have tampered with at some point.

Okay, so _maybe_ that was a bit paranoid of him. Maybe.

Scanning over the information, Keith committed it to memory. After copying it and a few of the other more important looking files to the data chip, he erased the entire download from his gauntlet's computer, though not before he checked the last few files he hadn't seen yet to see if they mentioned anything else of interest. Satisfied that they didn't, he secured the data chip under a claw.

Now all he had to do was find a way to get the information to Pidge. Which, as he had unfortunately found out, was easier said than done.

His ears perked up as they caught the faint crackle of static that always accompanied someone making an announcement. Sure enough, seconds later, Acxa's voice came over the intercom.

"Zethrid, Ezor, Narti, Keith." She said, not even seeming to hesitate over his name like he thought she might. "Report to the bridge. We've reached the Ulippa system."

Keith got to his feet, making sure the data chip was secure before grabbing his knife and bayard. Guess he could think about how to transfer the information later.

* * *

The first thing he noticed upon making it to the bridge was the massive Galra cruiser in full view of the command ship. Frowning, Keith turned towards Lotor for an explanation, momentarily more confused than he was angry at the prince. What was a Galra cruiser doing here? As far as he knew, Lotor didn't even have any in his fleet.

"I thought for this mission that perhaps something... _unobtrusive_ would be apt." Lotor simply said. For once, he wasn't bothered by the way the prince seemed to almost read his mind, since under the circumstances, it was pretty obvious. "I commandeered this one from the main fleet. It's usually used as a decoy, so no one should notice it missing."

Opening his mouth to ask when he'd done that, he shut it instead. He didn't really care, and now that his question had been answered, he was remembering just how furious and disgusted he was with Lotor. Not as furious and disgusted as he was with himself, but it was still up there.

All he wanted to do was get through this mission so he could focus on figuring out a way to get Pidge the information he had found about her father. He could always try rescuing him himself, but somehow that didn't seem like such a good idea. From what little he remembered of him, Commander Holt was a good man, but he doubted he'd trust some random Galra. It wasn't like they had spoken enough for him to recognize him after how much he'd changed.

Besides, if he went alone then rescuing Pidge's father would be about _all_ he could manage. He didn't know if he could live with leaving behind all those other prisoners that were surely being kept there with him, knowing all too well just what it was like to be a prisoner of the Galra. Maybe the conditions at this... _science prison_ or whatever weren't as bad as the ones he'd endured at Central Command, but he wasn't willing to bet on it.

Sensing that Lotor was waiting for a response of some kind, Keith just nodded. Taking up his usual position to the back of the bridge, he folded his arms in front of his chest, waiting for the briefing to begin. As per usual, he was the last person to arrive. He tried not to pay attention to the other generals, instead fixing his gaze on a piece of equipment in the background that at least made it _seem_ like he was paying attention.

"As it turns out, our good friend Commander Throk has one last present to give us." Lotor didn't even attempt to mask the amusement in voice, seemingly entertained by the notion of crossing paths with the commander he'd humiliated for a second time. "It would seem that the very piece we have been searching for is located in none other than the base I so kindly put him in charge of."

Yeah. _Real_ kindly, Keith couldn't help but think, rolling his eyes. He wasn't about to start feeling sorry for Commander Throk though, even if he was less keen on fighting him after yesterday. He wasn't confident if he could keep himself from blacking out again, but maybe things would be different in an actual fight, as opposed to an arena style match.

Maybe _that_ had been the problem. He wasn't going to put a whole lot of faith in that idea, but he'd at least consider it.

"Oh great," Ezor crinkled her nose in distaste, "-so it _is_ on the planet with the ice worms."

Lotor gave her a faint smile. "Thankfully you shouldn't have to deal with them this time."

Keith arched a brow, curious if there ever _had_ been a time when they'd had to deal with them. That _would_ explain the sigh of relief he caught Acxa make out of the corner of his eye.

"So what's the plan?" Zethrid asked. "We barge in there, kill everyone, and take the teleduv?"

"Yes to barging in," Lotor said, "-but no to killing everyone, I'm afraid. We will need Throk alive if we are to successfully steal the teleduv."

Zethrid grumbled, but kept to quietly sulking as opposed to contesting Lotor's orders. " _Fine_."

"Once inside, you will distract Throk long enough for Narti to sneak up on him." Lotor said. "Once she has control of him-"

"Wait," Keith cut him off without meaning to, "-control? What do you mean, _control_?"

Lotor merely arched his brows, as if he hadn't expected for him to speak. Keenly aware that all eyes were on him, Keith flinched, but forced himself to keep his head held high. It was bad enough that he'd had a panic attack in front of Acxa, he wasn't going to make himself look weak in front of everyone else.

"I suppose I may have failed to probably brief you in regards to Narti's abilities." Lotor said. "My mistake."

Keith frowned, his brows knitting together. Something told him it was no mistake.

"Narti can control minds!" Ezor chirped. "She just touches them and _whoosh_! Just like that!"

As if to demonstrate, Narti held up her hands, though she made no move to actually touch anyone. He could feel Kova staring at him, and by extension, his owner. He tried not to react, even as he thought back on the times she had sought him out when he was alone. At the time, he thought she had just been doing it to keep him company- or to keep an eye on him for Lotor- but what if she had been doing it for more sinister reasons?

Guess it just went to show he couldn't trust anybody on this ship. Not even the cat.

"It is a... bit more complicated than that." Lotor said. "But that is the essential gist of it. I trust there won't be a problem?"

"No." Keith said simply. "No problem."

"Good." Lotor said. "There shouldn't be any interference, but in the event that you do run into trouble, I have taken the liberty of loading the first of the comet ships onto the cruiser."

Keith blinked, his ears perking up. He'd already finished one of the ships? He knew he had been close, but he hadn't thought... that was a lot faster than he'd been expecting.

In spite of himself, he couldn't help but feel his excitement start to bubble up. He knew he shouldn't be excited. Lotor might claim he wanted the ships for peaceful reasons, but he couldn't help but doubt that. The fact that he'd already made one should be _terrible_ news. Yet he couldn't _help_ but be excited.

He might even be able to _fly_ it.

That would be a _bad_ thing, he tried to remind himself. The only thing they would need a ship that powerful for was to use it against Voltron, and he didn't want to have to fight Voltron if he didn't have to. Although, he guessed they could also use it against Central Command...

He bit down on his lip, trying to keep his excitement from being too obvious. It was a futile effort, since his tail was currently in the act of betraying him once again, the tip of it pounding audibly against the floor. It only stopped once he concentrated on it, but there was no way everyone hadn't heard- and _seen_ \- that.

"Now," Lotor pressed on, thankfully before anyone had the chance to say anything, "-as for what you will do once Narti has Throk under her control..."

* * *

"Are you alright?"

Keith jerked his head up, like he hadn't heard her approach. She doubted it, given how excellent his hearing was, but he at the very least hadn't expected her to try and speak with him. It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed that he was attempting to keep his distance after yesterday- even more than he usually did. They all had.

It wasn't as if she couldn't understand _why_. Perhaps they had all been bred into violence, but there had still been something disconcerting about watching Keith lose control like that. There was no honor in it, nothing cleansing about the violence. It was just... _violent_.

And Keith _hadn't_ been bred to that.

She didn't even think he'd noticed that he'd gone on to decimate the sentries that had been unfortunate enough to share the room with him. It would likely be better if it stayed that way, given how traumatized he'd seemed after he'd come back to his senses. He'd tried to hide it, but she'd seen the way his tail had curled almost between his legs.

He'd been afraid.

"I'm fine." Keith said curtly, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

Acxa could only frown. She didn't believe for one second that he was fine, but she could understand why he might not want to talk to her. They were nothing more than coworkers. Keith held both her and the rest of the generals at a distance, as if he didn't want to get to know them better and had no plans of doing so.

She wished he would, sometimes. Maybe they had grown up in drastically different environments, but they all knew what it was like to be mistreated by the Galra Empire. If they could just properly _talk_ , maybe he would even start to understand that Lotor was truly just trying to _help_ him.

"If you need to talk-"

"I don't."

Acxa huffed slightly. She hadn't exactly expected him to take her up on the offer, but letting her at least finish her sentence would have been nice. She wondered if all humans were this rude.

"Fine." Acxa said. "If you want to just sulk about it-"

"I'm _not_ sulking."

"-then you can continue doing just that." Acxa finished, ignoring his interruption. "Just remember, this is a key mission. We can't afford to pick up your slack."

He was _absolutely_ sulking, that much made amply clear by the lethargic state of his tail. She wasn't sure he knew just how much it betrayed him.

Then again, she supposed he wasn't that used to _having_ one.

Keith's head snapped up, the former paladin glowering at her. "You don't need to look after me. I'm more than capable of handling myself."

"In that case, I expect there won't be any problems." Acxa said cooly.

Keith growled, visibly biting back a sharp remark. "No."

"Good." Acxa said, turning sharply on her heel.

Keith's tail lashed angrily behind him as she made her way back to the front of the bridge. Good. It was better he be angry and focused, rather than despondent and distracted. They might have their disagreements, but she didn't want to see him get killed.

Yesterday had been a setback, but she was confident he would come around eventually. They could give him what the paladins couldn't- acceptance and understanding. They might work with the Galra, but she was skeptical that they would welcome one into their team with open arms. Not after Zarkon.

No one would ever want a Galra paladin again after Zarkon.

In time, they might not even need the paladins. If Lotor's plans succeeded, then a new era of peace could be brought about, without the need for the weapons of old. Once the comet ships were completed, Voltron would be nothing more than a relic.

So would the Galra Empire.

* * *

It felt kind of weird to be going about business as usual when they knew- or at least, had some kind of idea- as to what situation Keith was in, but that was where they found themselves. It wasn't like they were doing _nothing_ to find Keith- and by extension, Lotor- but there was just too much work to be done to pass it all on to the Blade of Marmora and the rebels. Voltron needed to step up and do its part too.

For Shiro, keeping himself to a routine kept him from spending every waking moment searching for Keith. It was what had saved him from doing exactly the same thing right after Keith had first been captured, though now he couldn't help but regret _not_ pulling out all the stops to find him. Maybe if he had, they wouldn't be in this situation right now.

Or maybe he would have sent them all on a reckless mission to rescue Keith from Central Command, and they would all be dead or captured, with Voltron in the Galra's hands. He had no way to know.

That was the only real negative to keeping himself on a regular routine and not letting him work himself to death. Too much time to think. He'd started taking the insomnia medication again that Coran had first prescribed him once it became clear that finding Keith would be no easy task. It worked wonders in helping him sleep, but the daylight hours were still filled with too much thinking time.

"-found something on Lotor."

All at once, Shiro snapped back to full attention only to realize all eyes were on him. It made perfect sense- find Lotor, and they'd find Keith. At least, hopefully.

"Tell me what you got, Pidge."

"Not much." Pidge said apologetically. "But that last base we raided did have some sightings of Lotor's command ship in its archives. _Recent_ sightings."

If she didn't have his attention before, she more than had it now.

"How recent?" Shiro asked.

"A week ago recent." Pidge said. "There were three sightings of his ship in the Va'Kar quadrant, though nothing since then."

"It's a start." Shiro said, glancing over towards Coran. "Where is this _Va'Kar quadrant_ exactly?"

"Oh, I know the quadrant!" Coran said. "It's the one with the ice worms! Nasty little buggers. Always hated them."

Out of the corner of his eye, Allura shuddered, making a slight face. He merely arched a brow, deciding not to press. Hopefully whatever these _ice worms_ were, they wouldn't have to deal with them. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

"That quadrant is massive, though." Allura remarked. "Searching for Lotor there will be no easy task."

"Yeah, if he's even still _there_." Lance said. "The guy's like a ghost."

"He _was_ in exile for thousands of years. Guess he got good at hiding." Shiro remarked, trying to fight back the growing tide of frustration. This was the first solid lead they'd had on Lotor since they had lost the trans-reality comet to him, and it kept sounding more and more like it wasn't going to pan out.

Losing the trans-reality comet to Lotor had been bad, yes, and that was a definite concern too. But Lotor was also their only link to Keith. The longer they left him there, the riskier things were for him, especially if he was trying to spy on the prince turned emperor's activities like Hunk thought he was.

Shiro, at least, was positive that was what Keith was doing. He knew him. There was no way he would betray him- or _any_ of them, for that matter.

He hoped.

"You know," Hunk suddenly piped up, "-that comet's made from the same material as Voltron. Maybe I can build something to track it. You know, like I did with the blue lion back on Earth."

"I don't know, Hunk." Pidge frowned. "Making the tracker back on Earth was one thing, but you heard Allura. Even if we assume that he's somewhere in the Va'Kar quadrant, that quadrant is _massive_. We'd need something over a hundred times more powerful than the one you built back on Earth if we even _hope_ to pick up a trace."

"And again, that's assuming he's still there." Lance pointed out.

"No, no, I think I can do it." Hunk said. "We just have to amplify- no, there'd be too much interference."

Lips twisting into a frown, Hunk's placed a hand to his chin, mulling it over. Shiro watched him and Pidge try and puzzle it out, trying not to get his hopes up too much. At worst, at least they had a starting point for finding Keith- and Lotor. Compared to what they had before, which was nothing, it was still an improvement.

But those two weren't considered tech geniuses for nothing. He watched as they both lit up at the same time, struck by the same thought.

"The spires of the Castle!"

Shiro felt himself smile in pride and just a little relief. "Then it's settled. We go to the Va'Kar quadrant. Pidge and Hunk can work on the scanner in the meantime."

"I'll get us ready to depart." Allura said. "We will need a wormhole jump if we are going to reach Va'Kar quickly."

"I'll help!" Coran said, already hurrying to his station. "I'll set the coordinates to the edge of the system for now. Thankfully, it's on the outskirts of the Empire, so there's not too much Galra presence out there. A few odd bases or so, but nothing that Voltron can't handle on its own."

Shiro nodded. "Good. We don't want to fight if we don't have to."

He tried to pretend he wasn't thinking about Keith when he said that. But judging from the looks the other paladins sent his way, he apparently hadn't hidden it well enough. It stung- no matter how resolute he wanted to be in his belief in Keith, there was some small part of him that couldn't help but prepare for the worst. Maybe it was just in his nature as a leader, to prepare for every possible scenario, but it still made him feel awful, like he was doubting someone who thought of him like a brother.

If the situation was reversed, he knew Keith wouldn't doubt him. Not for a second.

"I'll contact Matt, and let him know what we're up to." Shiro said finally. "Let me know when you have something."

* * *

"So how'd it go?"

It wasn't typical for Shiro to lose his composure, even briefly, what with him being their fearless leader and all. Lance tried to convince himself that the black paladin's split second reaction to his sudden question was just surprise that he was even here, and maybe it was. But he couldn't help but think that it was due to something more.

After all, this was _Keith_ they were talking about.

Back at the Garrison, he'd always been resentful of how close Keith was to Shiro. That hadn't changed even after they had become paladins. It always felt like not only was he not satisfied with just being in the limelight twenty-four seven, but he _also_ had to hog the attention of the Galaxy Garrison's best pilot too. He thought he was stuck-up, that he thought he was too good for everyone else. It was only later that he realized that the attention Keith got at the Garrison was hardly positive- everyone had been waiting for him to fail, just like he had.

He'd _celebrated_ when Keith got kicked out. He never stopped to think for even a second that the reason he and Shiro were so close was because he didn't _have_ anyone else.

No wonder he'd self-destructed after Kerberos.

And then they found him, living out in the middle of the desert, chasing after strange energies, and Lance gradually had begun to realize that maybe he'd had Keith wrong all along. He'd never admit it, especially not to Keith's face, but... he was at least willing to privately admit that he was... well, _tolerable_ , he guessed.

In small doses, sure, but still tolerable. There was only so much he could take of that ugly mullet in one sitting.

But even knowing that Keith wasn't half the jerk he thought he was, he still couldn't help but have his doubts about him. Don't get him wrong, he didn't have a problem with him being Galra. At least, not a major one- more just leftover frustration from realizing that part of the reason Keith had been so well... _good_ at everything was likely due at least in part to his alien blood. Then again, it might have been that same alien blood that had made him so bad at socializing, resulting in him coming off as a huge jerk in the first place, and-

-and he was getting off topic. He really should focus.

"Fine." Shiro gave him the fakest smile he'd ever seen. "It went fine. Matt knows where we're headed, and the Coalition is ready to provide backup should we need it."

He didn't doubt that was true, but it also wasn't why he was here. He'd seen how Shiro had reacted back on the bridge when he'd asked about fighting. Maybe everyone else was going to tiptoe around it, but _he_ sure as heck wasn't.

"What if we do?" Lance asked, before realizing that he probably need to clarify. "Fight him, I mean."

For a few seconds, all Shiro did was stare at him, before he set his lips in a hard line. "If it comes to that, we will. But it won't."

Lance frowned. He sounded so resolute, like this was something that had already been decided. And sure, he knew that they were all going along with Hunk's theory about Keith being a secret spy, that he was actually still a good guy, but... what if he wasn't? What if he was exactly the same kind of traitor that Akira was?

Shiro's trust in him could get him _killed_.

They had already nearly lost him after their assault on Central Command, and it had taken a toll on the team. And maybe he wasn't exactly known was being the most serious guy around, but he kind of didn't want to go through anything like that again. It wasn't even like he _wanted_ to doubt Keith- he'd actually sort of started to regret not getting the chance to know him better. But well... _somebody_ had to, and everyone knew they hadn't gotten along.

Might as well be him.

"Yeah, but how can you be sure?" Lance pressed. "I mean, he could be-"

"Lance." Shiro said firmly. "We're not talking about this."

Lance opened his mouth to say something, before he snapped it shut, letting out a huff. "Fine."

"Good." Shiro nodded, awkwardly patting him on the shoulder. He didn't linger after that, excusing himself like he just wanted to get away from this conversation.

It made him wish that he'd had a little more time to talk to Sven, to ask him about how he'd felt after Akira's betrayal. How he'd handled it. But he hadn't thought... he hadn't thought the same could be true of their _own_ reality. Pretty dumb in hindsight, given how much that reality mirrored their own.

This sucked. Just when he had decided to give Keith the benefit of the doubt, he _had_ to do something like go and join _Lotor_. He hoped he knew he was making it _really hard_ to like him. Sure, maybe he didn't exactly have a whole lot of options, but if he'd just stuck around Central Command for a week or two longer then-

Oh, who was he kidding. The Blade's spy hadn't even known for sure if it was him or not. They would have just left it behind without ever even knowing Keith was there.

Ugh, maybe he _did_ have a reason to resent them.

Crinkling his nose, Lance shoved the thought aside. He'd never been great at dealing with stuff like this. Maybe he'd just go listen to Pidge and Hunk ramble on about whatever sensor thing it was they were building. He wouldn't understand that either, but at least that was _normal_ , which nothing about this whole Keith situation was.

Who knew? Maybe with any luck, Lotor- and Keith- were long gone from the Va'Kar quadrant.

* * *

They were in luck. Not only had Lotor not left the system yet, but they were able to pick up on the comet as soon as Pidge and Hunk turned the detector they were building on. They were gaining speed, and would soon catch up with Lotor's command ship.

Or at least, that was what Shiro had thought.

What they found instead was a baffling scene. Instead of Lotor's command ship, like they had expected, what the detector lead them to was just another standard Galra cruiser, the type that could be found anywhere. But the comet _was_ on there, so he'd just assumed that Lotor had moved it to a different vessel, and was in the process of transporting it to the Galra base on the planet they were now orbiting.

That was, up until the cruiser opened fire on the base.

At a loss for answers, he'd made the decision to be proactive and find them. They would take the lions down and check out the ship for themselves. With any luck, they'd be able to find the comet while they were at it- and maybe even Keith.

Using Hunk as a guide, they made their way through the halls of the Galra ship. He'd dug out the detector he'd built back on Earth, which Shiro was surprised he even still had. It felt like so long ago that they had all been on sent hurtling through space in the blue lion that he had honestly kind of forgotten about it until Hunk had brought it up back on the bridge. Granted, he'd been preoccupied with thoughts about Keith for most of that time, but it was always reassuring to see that even when he was distracted, the rest of the paladins remained on the ball.

Even though he really _shouldn't_ let himself get so distracted. He was both the oldest and their leader, and therefore had to set an example for them.

That said... when faced with the comet ship, he had to fight the urge to swear.

The fact that Lotor had already turned the comet into a ship was bad news, and while he might not know what else was going on here, one thing was crystal clear- they couldn't let Lotor have that ship. But before he could even speak, Coran had contacted them to reveal another complication- that there was a piece of the teleduv- the one they had used to wormhole Zarkon's ship- inside the Galra base.

He thought they had all been destroyed, but he guessed they'd missed one.

Faced with two potential problems- three, if he considered the oddity that was a Galra ship attacking a Galra base, he made the call to return to the lions. Keith was important too, but they could search for him _after_ they had destroyed the teleduv and Lotor's new ship.

Or at least, that had been the plan.

What he never could have expected was that Keith would be the one to run into _them_.


	25. reunion

Whew! So, some of you might have noticed that I went on something of a hiatus and ended up not updating any of my fics for like, a week. It wasn't necessarily intentional, it's just been a hell of a week! I started out working on a new installment of _the stars shine a different shine,_ only to realize after writing and rewriting it a few times that it just wasn't working as planned, so I ended up scrapping it for the time being and taking it back to the drawing board. Then I got started on this new chapter of _who you are in the dark_ , only to realize halfway through editing my first draft that there was a better way to write the chapter and ended up erasing everything past that halfway point and starting over with the new idea in mind.

And then my hard drive failed.

So, I'm writing this from my brand new laptop! I'm still sort of adjusting to the different setup- mainly the new keyboard. Thankfully I was able to recover pretty much all of my data, though I had to wait until Sunday to get it all back. So, that's where I've been at this week! Sorry for the long wait, especially since I know how much people were looking forward to this chapter. Believe me, I've been looking forward to it too!

Well then, that all said, I'll see you next update!

* * *

 **who you are in the dark**

 **chapter twenty five**

 **reunion**

* * *

"That felt almost _too_ easy."

At the attention her casual remark earned her, Ezor only shrugged. "What? I can't be the only one to think that."

"Personally, I was hoping we'd get to punch more robots." Zethrid complained.

Keith just huffed, glancing over his shoulder. If you asked him, Zethrid had already punched plenty. He'd barely even had the chance to fight.

Ezor was right though- the raid of the base _had_ gone smoothly. Not to the degree that it was _suspicious_ , but it had been easier than he thought it would be. He wasn't sure how he felt about that- coming into the raid, he was half-afraid that his experience with Raht the day before would have impacted his ability to fight, but it hadn't, not in the least.

He almost wished it had.

"More operations would go this smoothly if the three of you would just stick to Lotor's plans more often." Acxa observed, glancing at them out of the corner of her eyes.

"But that's so _boring_." Ezor complained. "I like it better when we get to improvise a little."

"And _I_ like it better when I get to punch things." Zethrid added.

Acxa just frowned, ignoring the comments of her fellow generals and only sparing him the slightest of glances. They all knew the reason why he didn't necessarily stick to any of Lotor's plans. She must have been worried that he'd actually been behaving himself so far.

Well, she didn't need to be. He just didn't want to make this more complicated than it already was. All he wanted to do was get this over and done with so he could think of how to get the information he'd downloaded from that other Galra base to Voltron, and by extension, to Pidge.

 _Preferably_ without letting the paladins know it was from him. Revealing his identity was the last thing he wanted to do. Better to let them keep believing he was still a prisoner, than let them know what he was up to. Anything, even him being dead, would be a better alternative than the truth.

Shaking the thought off, he turned his attention to the teleduv. The sheer size of it was jaw dropping- and this was just one part of it. Sure, he'd known that anything that had been used to transport Central Command across galaxies had to be massive, but he'd severely underestimated just how _big_ it was. It might even be bigger than the cruiser they were using to steal it- which would explain why Lotor's plan had included the use of a tractor beam.

Guess now he knew why Hunk and Lance had needed so much scaultrite.

Speaking of scaultrite... he still wasn't sure what _Lotor_ had needed the scaultrite he'd sent Acxa to gather for- or for that matter, the teleduv piece they were fetching him now. It couldn't be to make wormholes. As far as he knew, only Alteans could operate it, and he was pretty confident that Lotor didn't have one of those just lying around. No, it had to be for something else.

He just didn't know _what_.

Catching what sounded like someone groaning, his ears perked up, instinctively looking in that direction. Uncrossing his arms, he watched as Throk hit the floor, like a puppet whose strings had just been cut. Seeing as Narti had basically been using him one, it was a pretty apt comparison.

He eyed the general in question somewhat warily. Narti had always been difficult for him to understand, but he hadn't expected her to have a power like this. Suddenly, Lotor sending her to ensure the Puigan leader's cooperation made a lot more sense.

He'd have to keep a closer eye on her in the future, he resolved.

"Guess we're done?" Keith asked, trying to look unbothered.

"We're done." Acxa said. "Let's get back to the ship."

She didn't have to tell him twice. He still found himself taking up the rear as they made their way back towards the cruiser, keeping one hand hovering over his bayard, just in case there were any actual foot soldiers on this base. According to Lotor's intelligence, it didn't seem like it, but if there was one thing recent events had hammered into him, it was that it never hurt to be extra careful.

(That, and to never chase after a druid. Bad idea.)

Thankfully, the caution wasn't needed. They made it back onto the cruiser with no complications. Now all they had to do was get back to the bridge and use the tractor beam to carry the teleduv piece away, and the mission would be over. He'd stick around at least for the debriefing, to see if he could learn anything about why Lotor wanted it in the first place, and then he'd-

His nose twitched, picking up on a group of scents that _definitely_ hadn't been here when they'd left. Galra? They didn't smell like it, he thought. There was no metallic tang to the scent, like the sentries, and from the freshness of the scent, whoever it was had passed through recently, heading towards the cargo hold, which, coincidentally, was the direction they were headed in.

He narrowed his eyes. That was where the comet ship was. Something told him _that_ part wasn't just a coincidence. Taking another whiff of the scent, grateful that he was to the back of the group so that no one could see what he was doing, Keith narrowed his eyes. The scent wasn't familiar to him, but at the same time, he swore he knew it from _somewhere_.

Maybe it was something he'd smelled before? Prior to his transformation, obviously. He tried to rack his brain for what it could be, at the same time ignoring the knot of dread that had formed in the pit of his stomach. There weren't that many scents he'd have cause to know from before his transformation this far out in space. There were the Balmerans and the Arusians, Rolo and Nyma-

-and Allura, Coran, and the paladins.

The realization that he had been purposefully trying to ignore came too late.

They had reached the cargo hold.

* * *

Shiro was snapped back to reality by force.

If it hadn't been for his instincts, finely honed by his time in the arena, he would have been dead, or at least severely injured. Although this was the first time he had faced them, he knew from Kolivan's reports that Zethrid was the strongest of Lotor's generals, and she had directed the full force of that strength right towards his head. She left a dent in the floor where he had been, in what could have easily been his skull instead.

There was only so much that his helmet could protect him from.

Reeling from that first attack, he barely had a chance to study Keith. He nearly didn't recognize him, even after he'd spent so long studying the footage Kolivan had sent, going over every inch of it. It was hard to draw the connection between the Keith he saw standing before him, and the Keith he knew so well from his memories.

But it _was_ Keith.

Even though his eyes were now an unfamiliar shade of Galra yellow, he knew that expression by heart. He'd only worn it once before, back when Adam had gotten into a hoverbike crash. It had only been a minor one, but when they had gotten the news, Keith's typically stoic expression had changed, looking for all the world as if the ground had dropped from out underneath his feet.

This wasn't something he wanted to happen, Shiro realized with a pang. Keith didn't want to meet them, at least, not like this. The last time he had met any of them, he'd had the advantage of having his face covered- now it was exposed, only the alterations he'd gone through at Haggar's hands left to protect him. Even then, that could only protect him for so long- maybe it had taken him a second to recognize him, even _with_ the video footage, but the longer he looked at him, the more he started to look like Keith, rather than some strange Galra with his haircut.

At least, now that he knew where to look, he did. If he didn't... it would have taken longer. He'd admit it. But he would have eventually started to see it, the truth undeniably etched into his features.

"Shiro!"

Allura's voice snapped him back to reality as surely as Zethrid's fist did. Ducking under it, Shiro put some distance between her and him, forcefully refocusing his thoughts. Unfortunately, Zethrid hadn't been the only general to attack- only Keith had remained where he was, as if frozen to the very spot. The other three were already engaging the other paladins, the suddenness of the attack having thrown them, and badly.

Keith being here didn't help.

He wanted nothing more than to call out to him, to go to him- but he couldn't afford to be distracted in the middle of a fight. They could deal with Keith _after_ they'd taken care of the rest of Lotor's generals.

"Paladins, on me!" Shiro bellowed.

At his command, the other four managed to break away from their individual battles, uniting together using his location as a central gathering place. The sudden increase in opponents was enough to cause Zethrid to momentarily back off, but somehow he didn't think it would be enough to force her- or any of them- to back down for long. Still, he felt better about their odds of winning this fight if they all had each others backs, instead of trying to fight separately.

In response, Acxa raised her hand to signal the rest of Lotor's generals, who flocked to her with only a small amount of hesitation. Zethrid and Ezor looked as if they were itching to continue the fight, but she held them both in check as she watched to see what their next move would be. It wasn't only _them_ she was watching, he realized. He could tell she was keeping Keith in her peripheral too, suspicion laced in her gaze.

It clicked in his head that she didn't trust him.

No one moved, the air in the cargo hold thick with tension. Shiro was in the middle of running their options through his head when he caught sight of movement out of the corner of his eye, and instantly felt himself tense. But it wasn't one of Lotor's generals who'd moved- it was Keith. With an expression he couldn't read, and without a single word, he moved to stand by Lotor's generals. He didn't move to attack, but he did rest his hand over his bayard- a clear statement of where his allegiances lay.

It was like a physical blow to Shiro. He'd been quick to deny the possibility that they might have to fight Keith, so insistent that Hunk's theory was right. He hadn't even wanted to consider the alternatives, but faced with the sight before him, he was forced to do it anyways.

Even then, he tried to justify it. There was always the possibility that Keith just didn't know they knew it was him, which stung. The more he looked at him, the more he could see his brother in this tall, looming Galra, but at first glance, without knowing the truth... it would have been harder, _much_ harder to see past it all. He was left to wonder again what Keith thought every time he looked in the mirror- if he even bothered anymore. His own changes were minimal in comparison, but Shiro had still taken to avoiding mirrors since his escape from captivity. It wasn't too much of a stretch to think Keith might do the same.

He wanted to speak up, to tell him it wasn't that bad- but... it kind of was. Even he was forced to admit that. There wasn't even the slightest possibility that he could resume a normal human life after this, not unless Allura or someone could somehow fix him.

He might also just be trying to keep his cover, Shiro rationalized, however self-imposed it was. When Keith made up his mind to do something, he stuck to it. It didn't matter what he had to do to accomplish his goals- whatever it was, he'd do it. He was just that stubborn.

Fighting them in order to prove his supposed loyalty to Lotor? He'd never do it happily, but it fell reasonably in line with Shiro's expectations of what he might do. It was pure rationalization, he knew- but he'd made a vow to Keith. He would never give up on him- and believing in him, no matter what things might look like at first glance, was just one part of that.

Unfortunately, just because _he'd_ chosen to believe in Keith, it didn't mean anyone else had. And there was at least one person among them who had opted to doubt him from the start.

And just as unfortunately, he had no intention of staying quiet.

"I knew it."

Lance's voice was more of a stage whisper than anything else, but it didn't matter. He knew from experience that the Galra had great hearing- and clearly, Keith was no exception. He made a mental note of the way Keith's new, and quite honestly _massive_ ears twitched at the sound, filing that information away for later. But instead of commenting on it, he turned his head slightly, shooting the blue paladin a warning glance.

"Lance-"

Lance's grip on his bayard tightened, glowering straight at Keith. He didn't aim the weapon at him, but he might as well have. "I'm sorry, Shiro, but I can't stay quiet about this. He's- he's-"

He faltered there, for once at a loss for words.

But he'd said enough.

Keith's expression tightened, his shoulders growing taut. Lance's words, while vague, allowed for very few illusions in regards to what he'd wanted to say.

Keith wasn't the only one who had recognized that.

" _Ooh_ ," it was Ezor who spoke, almost squealing with delight, nudging Keith almost playfully in the side, "-I think they recognize you, Red."

Keith narrowed his eyes, and though the lack of any visible pupils made it difficult to discern exactly where he was looking, Shiro still sensed it was him. He nearly flinched underneath his gaze, which felt almost as unfamiliar as his eyes. Behind him, the paladins collectively held their breaths, all eyes on Keith.

When he finally spoke, it became obvious why he hadn't in the weblum. So much had changed, but there was still no mistaking his voice for that of anyone else's.

It didn't bring any comfort.

"So what?" Keith asked. "It doesn't matter."

Involuntarily, Shiro felt himself shudder. Keith's tone was cold, in a way that he'd never known before, dampening any familiarity it might have brought. He opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ , but he couldn't get out a single sound. He could feel Keith's eyes still on him, but he couldn't return his gaze. It was too cold, too unfamiliar- like it wasn't just his looks that had changed, but something much more fundamental.

It was almost like he wasn't Keith anymore.

"You see?" Ezor beamed, almost like an imp, wrapping a playful arm around Keith's shoulder. "He's one of _us_ now."

Keith said nothing to that, nor did he shrug off Ezor's arm like Shiro thought he would. He wished he would say something- _anything_ \- because his silence was starting to feel a lot like a confirmation of something he desperately didn't want to be true.

Drawing in his breath, Shiro forced himself to look Keith in the eye. At the same time, he managed to find his voice.

"Keith?"

Keith held his gaze, unblinking. Maybe he didn't need to anymore. "Shiro."

The sound of his name spoken in such a harsh tone, and by _Keith_ no less, was enough to stab at his gut. But he didn't let it show on his face, instead taking a step forward. He'd made a promise to Keith, and he intended to see it through to the end, whatever the outcome. Signaling the other paladins to stand down, he set himself to the difficult task of trying to pretend they were the only two people in the room, all while trying not to drop his guard just in case Lotor's generals decided to use this as an opportunity to attack.

Acxa held them in check, watching with suspicion.

There were a thousand things he wanted to say, dozens of questions he wanted to ask. He wanted to throw his arms around Keith from the sheer relief of seeing him alive, even if he _was_ changed. He had spent so long searching for him, desperately trying to quell his worst fears- that the reason they couldn't find him was because he was already dead. Having him alive, even with a Galra's face, was so much better than the alternative.

He wanted to grab him by the wrist and drag him back to the Castle, make him stop whatever ridiculously stupid and dangerous thing he was doing. No one had asked him to do this, least of all him. Keith putting himself in danger was the _opposite_ of what he wanted. All he wanted was for Keith to come _home_.

He wanted to apologize a thousand times over for having failed him so badly- first by failing to keep him safe, and then by failing to find him before Lotor did.

Or at all.

He wanted to ask him if he hated them- _him_ \- now. If he resented them. He wanted to tell him that even if he did, he'd understand, even if that resentment had lead to him willingly turning on them, choosing Lotor's side. But he also wanted to tell him that if he just trusted him one more time, that he would _never_ fail him like he had ever again.

He wanted to remind him that he'd never give up on him. That he never had, and he never would. Even now, when he stood before them, his intentions made clear by the hand lingering over his warped bayard, the one that so much resembled Zarkon's now.

But he said none of those things. There just wasn't enough time.

"Keith." Shiro said instead. " _Please_."

Keith held his gaze still, unwavering. "It's way too late for that."

Before he could even blink, Keith had drawn not his bayard, but his knife. As if it served some kind of cue, the temporary ceasefire between the two groups crumbled, with Lotor's generals moving to attack first. He barely had time to react, his hard won instincts again being all that stood in the way of him meeting almost certain death.

Only this time, the person who attacked him wasn't Zethrid.

It was Keith.

He automatically jumped back, putting some distance between them. It wasn't enough- he'd sparred against Keith dozens of times, but he was used to him being shorter than him, not _taller_. Keith closed the gap in an instant, barely leaving him enough time to defensively activate his arm. Using it against Keith was the last thing he wanted to do, but he didn't have much of a choice.

Keith had attacked him. _Seriously_ attacked him.

Shiro evaded Keith's knife, some tiny part of his brain marveling over the fact that he'd stayed so quick in spite of growing so _tall_. He towered over him now, almost Kolivan's height. He carried himself differently, but then he had to- he didn't exactly have a tail before. His gaze briefly flickered down towards his feet, and then just as quickly darted back up again- not because he couldn't afford to be distracted, which he couldn't, but because he didn't want to think about what could have happened to Keith's missing toes. It was bad enough that being this close provided him with the confirmation of his earlier suspicions in regards to his fingers- he didn't want to think how he'd lost those either.

There was a lot about his transformation that he just didn't want to think about. It must have been like agony. And where was he, when his brother needed him the most?

Nowhere. He was nowhere.

"Keith!" Shiro called out to him, even as he dodged another attack. He wasn't going to give up on him so easily. "We don't need to do this."

"You're right." Keith agreed, to his surprise. "You could always just surrender."

Shiro had to choke back a laugh, more from surprise than anything else. That at least sounded like the Keith he knew and in spite of himself, he took comfort in it.

"Or," Shiro said, "-you could come back to the Castle with us, and we could work this all out together."

Keith narrowed his eyes, but it was impossible to read what might be in them. They had changed too much, and he just couldn't tell what he was thinking anymore.

"I'm not going back to the Castle, Shiro." Keith said firmly.

"Kei-"

He didn't get to finish. Allura's scream cut him off, in the next instant, the Altean practically flying overhead, flung to the far end of the cargo hold by Zethrid. Momentarily distracted, he made the mistake of letting his guard down, leaving him vulnerable to attack- a vulnerability that Keith quickly took advantage of. With a powerful strike from his tail, that impossible appendage that he just shouldn't have, but now did, he forced him to the ground, pinning him with a nearly distressing lack of effort.

Keith had always been strong- likely in thanks to his Galra blood, but now he was stronger than ever. The half-Galra loomed over him, his eyes glowing faintly in the dimly lit hangar. Shiro felt a surge of adrenaline, instinctively balling his right arm into a fist- but even then, he couldn't bring himself to use it.

This was still Keith. This was still his brother. He couldn't fight him.

Keith, on the other hand, didn't seem to have any such hesitations. He hauled him back to his feet using nothing put his tail, the appendage grasping the collar of his paladin armor. For a second, he felt it brush against the back of his neck, before it retreated- and a second later, he found himself being thrown across the room, landing close to Allura.

Grunting, he quickly hauled himself to his feet, just in time to help Allura catch Lance. The blue paladin had been sent sailing by a well placed kick from Acxa. Pidge and Hunk weren't faring much better, having been forced to retreat back towards the doors of the cargo hold.

"We've only been fighting them for like, _two minutes_." Pidge lamented. "How are we already getting our butts kicked?"

"Gee, it's almost like they have a _traitor_ who knows all our moves on their side or something." Lance grumbled.

Shiro flinched, the tight feeling in his gut just getting worse when no one spoke up in defense of Keith. He wanted to scold Lance, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do so- as much as he wanted to believe in Keith, even now, he couldn't do it in this situation. He knew he needed to make a call, and make one fast- because Pidge was right, they _were_ losing- badly.

Instinctively, Shiro knew that they needed to retreat. But mentally? He wasn't prepared to leave Keith just yet. Surely if he could just talk to him a bit more, he could-

"Shiro!"

For the second time today, Allura's voice snapped him back to reality. He let his gaze linger on Keith for a few seconds longer, before he forced himself to make the only choice he actually had.

"Paladins," he called out, "-back to the lions!"

* * *

"Zethrid, stop!"

Despite her fellow general's obvious eagerness to give chase, Zethrid nevertheless came to a dead halt at her command.

"Come on!" She glowered at her, heedless of her own volume. "This is our chance to crush them!"

Acxa narrowed her eyes, forcing herself not to look in Keith's direction. She could see him at the edge of her vision, sheathing his knife. If the situation weren't what it was, she would have pulled him aside to talk about what had just happened, but for the time being, she had other things to focus on.

"No. We need to stick to the plan." Acxa said firmly. "Our mission is to deliver the teleduv to Lotor, not to get involved in an unnecessary fight with the paladins. Let them go."

"Uh, not to argue," Ezor began, "-but somehow I don't think the paladins are just going to sit around and let us take off with the teleduv."

"Which is why we should go after them!" Zethrid insisted. "If we just crush them _now_ -"

"No." Acxa cut her off. "Lotor may still need them."

"Then what _should_ we do?"

Acxa started, glancing over in Keith's direction. She frankly hadn't expected the former paladin to speak. He was watching her intently, his arms crossed in front of him. At first glance, he seemed fine, but upon further examination she could see how deeply his claws had dug into the material of his armor, and how his tail lashed behind him, giving hint to his own internal chaos. It was difficult to blame him- he hadn't seen any of his former comrades since the weblum, and back then, they hadn't been aware of who he was.

Clearly, something had changed since then.

Recovering from her surprise, Acxa mulled over their options. They didn't have many- Ezor was right, there was little chance the paladins would sit still and let them escape with the teleduv. Though she had plenty of questions as to how they had managed to find them, it wasn't hard to guess what had drawn them here, to this cargo hold. This _was_ the one they had loaded the ship Prince Lotor had constructed from the trans-reality comet into.

A ship that it seemed they would need after all.

"Ezor, Zethrid, head to the bridge and prepare the tractor beam." Acxa instructed. "Narti and I will distract the paladins long enough for us to get away."

Keith narrowed his eyes, not missing the way he had been excluded. "I could-"

"No." Acxa cut him off, already knowing what he was about to offer. "You'll stay here."

Snapping his mouth shut, Keith glowered at her. She didn't return it, instead turning on her heel to face Narti. It wasn't that she doubted Keith's skill at a pilot- he had proved that and more since entering Lotor's service. It wasn't even that she doubted his loyalty- which she did, but it wasn't the source of her refusal.

She was more concerned about his mental state.

First Raht, and now the paladins. It was clear the unexpected meeting had taken a toll on him, when he was already doubtlessly plagued by negative thoughts from the previous day. Perhaps the others might be surprised by his staunch refusal of the black paladin's offer- but she wasn't. She'd been there, in the weblum, when he had chosen her over the paladins. She wasn't convinced it meant he was in any way loyal to Lotor, but it did make it clear that he didn't consider returning to the paladins as an option, to the point where he'd been willing to refuse the black paladin's unexpected offer to return.

Unexpected. Yes, that was a good word for it. The black paladin had proven to be very unexpected. She hadn't anticipated the betrayal that the other paladins seemed to express, particularly the blue- but the black paladin had acted against her expectations. She had suspected they were once close, but...

Either way, she had no intention of putting him in a position to fight the paladins for a second time. She and Narti would be more than enough to occupy their attention.

They were _also_ the ones least likely to attempt to destroy them, but that was simply because of Lotor's orders, and nothing else. Even as she tried to convince herself of that, she had to admit, she wasn't sure she wanted to see what kind of face the former paladin would make if he learned of their deaths. She still didn't trust him, but he was still one of her fellow generals. She couldn't find it in herself to put him through more than he needed to go through, not when it was clear that he'd already gone through so much.

It was hard to get the image of him clutching at his head, unable to even breathe, from her mind. The incident at Ranveig's base continued to haunt her, leaving her to wonder just what he had been made to go through at Haggar's hands. The rumors of the witch's cruelty had stretched even to the furthest reaches of the Galra Empire. Almost no one welcomed her presence, but most were too afraid to refuse it.

All save for Lotor.

Settling into the cockpit of the comet ship, Acxa cast one last long look back towards Keith. He was glaring at the ship from a safe distance, and for just a tick, their eyes met, before he jerked his gaze away, stubbornly refusing to look at her.

She could only heave a sigh. If he would just _trust_ them, trust _Lotor_ , then he would realize what valuable allies they could be. Voltron couldn't get him the revenge that he surely sought against Zarkon's witch- but Lotor surely could.

And if it wasn't revenge that he wanted, but something else... well, they could provide that too, in a way the paladins never could. Who else could understand the unique position of a Galra halfbreed better than another Galra halfbreed?

No one- not even the Champion.

* * *

As soon as the ship launched, Keith took off. In the empty halls of the cruiser, there was nothing to stop him from running, so he did exactly that- he ran. Even though it barely took him any time to arrive at the lower observation deck, it still didn't feel fast enough, his heart pumping overtime in his chest as he searched for any sign of Voltron. He let his senses guide him, feeling the faint pull of the red lion. It was weaker than before, though still strong enough for him to find it, his eyes settling on his former lion just in time to watch it, and the rest of Voltron, step in before the Castle's particle barrier could be destroyed completely.

He felt something in his stomach clench. That should be _him_ out there. Not in the red lion- he'd already long since given up on that- but in the comet ship. At least then, he could-

-he could what? Protect Voltron? Yeah, he'd done a _great_ job of protecting Shiro earlier. He tried to justify it as being necessary- he couldn't exactly win Lotor's trust if he jumped at the first offer to go back to the paladins he got.

But he _had_ the information that he had come for- or some of it, at least. Maybe he didn't know what Lotor's plan was, but he had a whole bunch of pieces, enough to piece a semblance of his plan together. Plus, he'd found where Pidge's dad was, which had been his only other real concern. Why _hadn't_ he taken Shiro's offer?

It was a stupid question. He knew perfectly well why.

He hadn't wanted to see the paladins again. Even if there was a cold comfort in seeing Shiro, alive and well, with his own eyes, he hadn't been able to take any real relief from it. What he had feared most had become a reality- they had seen him now, and even worse, they'd _recognized_ him. From the very second he realized that, he'd braced himself for the worst- and Lance's tone had done everything to suggest he was right in that. He was a traitor, a _Galra_ \- by every measure, Shiro should hate him.

Instead, he'd invited him to come back to the Castle.

He'd wanted to take it. He'd been so afraid for so long what Shiro's reaction might be, that the actual fallout came as something of a relief. It had been brief, so brief- but he knew Shiro well enough to be able to gauge what he thought just from that brief interaction alone.

Shiro _didn't_ hate him.

Even after he put on a show, pretended to fight him, tried to act like he didn't care... Shiro still didn't hate him. There was clearly a sense of betrayal there, of _hurt_ \- but even then, he didn't hate him. He'd _hesitated_ , like he didn't want to leave him behind, like he was willing to fight any opponent necessary in order to get that chance to take him back.

He just wasn't also willing to put the rest of the paladins through that.

He couldn't even blame him. It was a bad match. He'd sparred with Ezor and Zethrid enough to know that. Retreat really was the best option.

But he'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt.

Fixing his gaze on Voltron, he tried to drown out any other thoughts. Acxa and Narti certainly weren't making it easy for the paladins, and even from this distance, it was easy to tell just how powerful the ship that Lotor had built was. Not only was it powerful enough to tear a hole in the Castle's particle barriers, it was _fast_ , too- maybe even faster than the red lion. He couldn't help but feel a spike of anticipation at that thought, that intrinsic drive for speed he'd possessed all of his life momentarily overriding anything else. Flying the red lion had been like nothing else, but to maybe have the chance to fly something even _faster_ than it...

He quickly shook the thought off, feeling a stab of guilt. He'd wondered if the red lion had been able to feel that- she was so faint, he couldn't tell. He knew that all he had to do in order to reconnect was to just reach out to her, but he refused to do that.

Allura was her paladin now. He'd come to terms with that. He had a different role to play now. After today, there was no going back.

He just Shiro hoped found what he'd snuck into his armor, and that they would be willing to trust it. Peering behind him, he glanced at his tail, which froze underneath his gaze. He huffed slightly, allowing it to relax- he still hadn't forgotten that it had been instrumental in Raht's death, but it was still a part of him now. He couldn't just toss out all the progress he had made because of one awful, _awful_ mistake.

He couldn't change what he was now. He didn't want to live in fear of himself for the rest of his life. Maybe if he owned what he was, what he was capable of, then maybe Haggar would cease to have any power over him.

Suddenly, the ship rocked, so violently that it nearly threw him off his feet. Jerking his head up, he caught sight of Voltron just in time to watch it take a direct hit from the comet ship's laser. Letting out a cry, Keith pressed his hands against the window, a cold lump taking shape in the pit of his stomach...

...and reached out.

He felt the red lion's reassurance almost automatically. He let himself breathe, only to jerk back violently once he realized what he'd done. Just as abruptly as he'd made it, he cut the connection to the red lion off again, but it had been enough. He could still feel the heat of her fire underneath his skin, a stark reminder of what he had been missing for so long. Of everything that he'd chosen to give up.

Swallowing, Keith took a step back, forcing himself to breathe again. Voltron must have destroyed the teleduv piece in exchange for leaving itself vulnerable to the comet ship. It was a perfectly Shiro-like tactic- but it had left them dead in the water, at least for a moment. All he could do was watch, dreading the next shot from the comet ship, but it never came.

Instead of pressing their advantage, the comet ship moved away, back towards the cruiser. Although the blast from Voltron hadn't hit it directly, the resulting explosion and the debris from the teleduv had rendered it inoperable. He didn't need Acxa's brief message telling them to abandon the cruiser and evacuate to the comet ship- it was pretty obvious that it wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon.

He let his gaze linger on Voltron for a second longer, before he pulled it away. They were on different paths now. They might have converged for a moment, but he doubted it would happen again.

Even so, in spite of all his dread... he was almost glad now that it had happened. Knowing that Shiro was alive, and that even after seeing his ugly Galra appearance he somehow still didn't hate him... that knowledge was almost worth it.

Almost.


End file.
